women are socially conditioned and peer pressured to be submissive and generally not asserative

> women are socially conditioned and peer pressured to be submissive and generally not asserative

> they already expect regular mediocre men to make the first move 99/100 times

> you go to the gym, take care of diet religiously, hopefully try to dress well and have a decent haircut

> you're already better than 90% of all guys after a year or two of lifting

> they see you

> buff, quiet and well groomed

> in her mind, cannot possibly talk to you first. literally not allowed.

> realize "chads" are really just like you but don't worry about what others think so they talk a lot. literally try to have conversations with 10 random people every hour.

> realize why skinny ass dudes with no dress sense or even own a decent cologne get pussy is because they talk a lot

> finally, realize that you need to talk more. to everyone. about anything and everything you can.

i propose a solution that has been working very well for me. go out into the world, preferably a bigger city and walk around and talk to people.

it's that simple, start with small talk with older people, that's the easiest. then move on to younger and younger people about stupid shit. talk about how nice/shitty the weather is. talk about how you like their jacket and where they got it (even if you don't) or ask someone where they got their haircut and YOU try to keep the conversation afloat. connecting with random people on random shit helps you to be a cool person.

some people won't want to talk to you, that's fine. some people will think you're weird, don't worry about it. you might get into a weird/awkward situation and that's fine! try your best to maneuver around it.

after the 1st time you do this for a few hours, you'll be fucking exhausted. next time you find some time to do this, youll be tired. eventually, you'll be talking about everything to everyone and it'll be completely normal. now i do this shit all the time, everyone in my apartments knows me.

try it !

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sounds like a waste of energy

Sounds good OP I'll try it

This is true

Extroversion > Everything else

>you go to the gym, take care of diet religiously, hopefully try to dress well and have a decent haircut
>you're already better than 90% of all guys after a year or two of lifting
Not true by the way, gymceling is literally the act of polishing a turd.

who do you talk to?

i can't even make smalltalk, even with your examples, i can't think of things to say on the spot

Fuck it, its not worth it, talking sucks and its exhausting and I'm no good at it.

t. introvert

Absolutely true, I was cripplingly shy as a child but I was forced to blend into various settings throughout life. I can now easily see what anyone likes to talk about, I can be friends with just about anyone, get them to open up without sharing an ounce of information about myself.

You come to learn that people gravitate towards you not because of who you are, but how you make them feel. Now being rich, Veeky Forums etc will give you the confidence that attracts others for sure, but that confidence has to translate into real social situations.

If a woman sees you like this they'll know you easily meet dozens if not hundreds of other women throughout the week, so your focus is valuable and your interest has to be earned.
You're not approaching her because she's hot or she glanced at you or she's the only girl in the office, you approach because you want to.

honestly just get a job in a party store or gas station, you can do this and get paid

I preach this all the time to my less outgoing friends, talking to people is a skill that can literally be practiced. Being bad at interacting because you're a beta is like being bad at sports because your dad didn't put you in little league: Sure you're behind but if you train hard you can be just as good as anyone else

>> finally, realize that you need to talk more. to everyone. about anything and everything you can.

this is correct, but then i did this for 3-4 years straight, made like only 2 friends, and every other person i talked to determined i was an asshole because my opinions and beliefs did not line up with their own, even though they would only ever ask me about myself and i would never force my shit on anyone

like literally never judged anyone for their bullshit when i knew it was wrong. i'd talk about it, and explain where i may come from and just because i did that i made enemies.

people fucking suck, bro. it's important to understand the insignificance in that fear of approaching someone, but 99% of the time it's not fucking worth it to even bother.

>Reddit spacing

>you come to learn that people gravitate towards you not because of who you are, but how you make them feel

I can tell that I make people feel self conscious and like I'm super Jugy. I have a resting Bitch face and people often tell me I seem intimidating and passive aggressive even though I'm a sincere person most of the time. How do I let people know that I am being sincere or make them feel less like I'm judging of them?

It's why you get good at talking, mentally push yourself like how you push for PRs, and find ways to make it enjoyable for you.

Being an introvert isn't an excuse to never talk to people ever again.

pro tip: make and maintain proper eye contact

if you're relatively good looking, sometimes all it takes is good eye contact and a smirk to get a girl gushing over you

Love your post OP, it's a really good idea. I hate all those "pick up artist" YouTube channels for various reasons, but one thing they have right is that you CAN'T be afraid to talk to people. Those dudes do and say the most cringeworthy shit but they always have the balls to actually go out and do/say it and I actually respect that.

>after the 1st time you do this for a few hours, you'll be fucking exhausted. next time you find some time to do this, youll be tired. eventually, you'll be talking about everything to everyone and it'll be completely normal. now i do this shit all the time, everyone in my apartments knows me.

This is my issue. Social situations make me anxious and tired.

Does anyone know from experience, if you force yourself into social situations over and over, can you lose this "fatigue" that comes from social interaction?

I try to, but I stutter and choke on my words a lot when I talk to people I'm not good friends with. I also never know what to talk about. Maybe it's just me, but I hate pointless awkward normie smalltalk that I have to engage in because they can't stand the silence.

I actually attempted to cold approach a girl tonight for the first time in my life. Talked to her a minute and got shot down.

Didn't hurt nowhere near as bad as I thought it would. On the flip side though, it kinda reaffirms what /r9k/ says. Girls only want Chad and working out doesn't really help you if you're a manlet

youtube.com/watch?v=UKwVvSleM6w

vid related

Holy shit,this felt like wrote it. Good introspection OP, let's try to make a general about these things. I learned a bit about body language and pyschology from YouTube, most people don't know how to game the world we live in. It's quite easy, build up to things, you'll get used to it.
Be hygienic, fit and well dressed. Read on how to make a good first impression, no matter how shallow you think it is. You immediately think a guy in a suit is more put together than if he was in sweat pants. Have some self respect for yourself and improve your posture as well. Read and quit Vidya and tv/movies.

I've been trying to force myself into social situations but the fatigue and anxiety has been too much. I'm also afraid that I'm just bugging the people I'm talking to/am about to talk to so I either just make up an excuse to leave or never talk in the first place.

I have trouble maintaining eye contact because I realize I'm making eye contact and then I don't know if I should look at their left eye or their right eye (Like when you suddenly realize you're breathing and have to breath manually). So I try to look inbetween their eyes but then I'm just staring at their nose bridge and I'm not sure if they notice or if it looks like I'm still making eye contact

this is the worst post i've ever seen. take this self-help bullshit to r9k.

>it kinda reaffirms what /r9k/ says. Girls only want Chad and working out doesn't really help you if you're a manlet
cuck mindset, grab your fucking balls and get out in the world, why are you suprised it didn't go well on your first attempt ever to socialise yourself, you're shit at life and you need to get better, not make excuses

Great idea if you want everyone to think you're mental

It doesn't matter. Pick an eye and look at it. People interpret you looking at one eye as if you were looking into both of them.

If you start switching from eye to eye constantly it breaks that illusion.

>get shot down by a girl
>reinforces /r9k/mindset
Did you expect stunning success the first time you tried it?

I’m so sick of the lack of my social life. I wanna go out and talk to people. I’m going to a big city tomorrow. First a movie then I’m going to a bar. The bar is already filled, obviously. WHAT do I do next? What when every seat is already taken? How do I approach people there?

Maybe don't treat everyone like they're your friends. You're allowed to have superficial social interactions and not share your core values

>just like in my chinese cartoons!
jk man

Holy fuck you autist

>this single anecdote confirms r9k's worldview

>people fucking suck
>yet i am the common denominator asshole in these failed relationships

hmmmmmmmm a mystery

no girl appreciates a cold approach in 90% of scenarios lmao

Anyone?

How else are you supposed to ask a girl out that you just saw in a bar? Are you hoping that one of her social circle somehow knows you and invites you over?

That’s nice but I cannot be bothered to talk about these things. I do not care at all for the things most people talk about so I literally have nothing to hold a conversation up with.

>she destoryed my life within the span of 12 months
>there is some deeper meaning to it

Yeah, no.

>t.fedora

You started off with 1/2/3/4? Picking up is a numbers game.

Most pointless thread 2017.

You can learn this to a certain point. My job forces me to work with people and to be open, friendly and welcoming to them and their problems no matter what I may think of these problems or the people and no matter what is happening in my life at that moment. I can do this for about 8 hours but then I need my time to regenerate because I'm fatigued.

TL;DR On can learn/train to be less fatigued to a certain point.

I don’t even care soz for not watching fucking X factor or spending every moment of my free time obsessing over sports

How do I force myself to smile more often? I got a really good smile but I rarely show it. Is there a trick to smile on command?

The answer to this is to have a drink and ask people if you can share their table. This is pretty advanced stuff though. I would instead recommend starting out with going to bar on a dead day and talking to bartender. They are stuck there all day and can only clean so much so even autistic conversation is better than none, and generally bartenders are extroverts who don't mind helping out introverts becoming more social.

Muscle memory son, literally smile more at home to yourself, watch standup more that makes you laugh or comedy in general the more you laugh and smile the more your face gets used to it and it gets easier to do without thinking about it.

Dead days? So, certainly not on the weekends?

Is it Veeky Forums to wear open shirts with a plain tshirt beneath it?

>implying this is true
You don't need to watch television or be interested in sport to carry a conversation.

The fact that you believe this is all people speak about shows you actually have no idea what people speak about, because you dismissed them out of hand since they're not interested in what you are interested in.

I know that that's probably true because I used to think the same way.

Honestly the only thing that has helped me was xanax. After I had the experience it was a lot easier.
I never really approach strangers to meet though but I go to concerts alone a lot. At first I was just awkwardly standing there but now I don't care and just enjoy the music. Its a lot easier if there is a common ground, like music or something. In bars its harder because you only have the physical attraction and the vibe. Try to ask something else than her name, like ask for a lighter if you smoke, if you see her really drunk ask what she drank or whatever. just pretend youre actually interested in that question and not desperate for her attention

>talk to girls

Yeah, I don't want to ruin my life by getting accused of sexual harassment.

>make and maintain proper eye contact
I've been told I have an intense serial killer stare. How do I make eye contact without looking rapey?

Can't polished turds attract polished turds? Rhetorical question. I know the answer is no.

>generally bartenders are extroverts who don't mind helping out introverts becoming more social.
Is this really a thing? I don't wanna pester some poor bartender with repeated autism, but this seems like a relatively safe way to learn social skills

Look at their forehead or nose or something. Also lean your head back slightly so you don't look so intense

Dubs of same. I'm literally the same. I think of myself as a caring and compassion individual, but everyone seems to get the impression that I'm a judge mental asshole. Literally been told by some of my best friends that their first impression of me was "I'm gonna hate this guy. He's gonna judge me because I'm not in perfect shape".

Hey that's cool and all OP but I'm just curious: what the fuck does this have to do with fitness?
go to /adv/ if you want to get sentimental about relationships

Protip for NEETs that want to become socialable and get a better life.

Get a job as a waiter or bartender. You'll be forced to communicate and talk all day long and it wont take long before you get used to it. People have to talk to you and are generally always nice to servers.

Bonus points for getting a job and money.

Bonus points for hooking up with costumers and get I go out drinking with coworkers.

Even more bonus points for tips. The better you get at socialising, joking around and giving people a good time the more money you make = extra motivation.

Doing this made me from someone who was ashamed to even open his mouth to a slayer.

Good shit OP

Think of conversational skills as a muscle, the more you use it, the better it gets.

Now it's much more likely for Veeky Forumsizens to actually try to improve themselves in this regard.

I'm a bartender and yes it's true for most of them. Our job turns us into extroverts and everything is better than doing nothing but waiting for the time to pass. Most of us are real bros.

>> you're already better than 90% of all guys after a year or two of lifting

is this true guys????