FPH THREAD

Also both Gfs are firmly in control on the two BFs. I assume it has something to do with both being their first Gfs...

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>be you, maybe shitty friend
>make fake facebook account
>message fat gf's and j and s and whoever else is making A's life hard
>harass them into killing themselves
>A no longer threatened and doesn't have to deal with shitty crabs

Got blocked by S and his gf, not blocked by J or his gf.

Fake account could be better though, still gotta be careful J is a sucide risk. S is a cuck, so its easy to mess with his GF

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>trick or treat night in neighborhood
>girlfriend buys to much candy
>full bowl of chocolate goodness sitting on coffee table
>friend who's on "keto" comes over
>end of night there's a large pile of wrappers by the bowl
I've tried to talk to him about just counting calories, apparently they aren't a thing...

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what does fph mean

Fat People Hate

>Be proud burgerstanian
>Want to escape destiny as a soulless wage slave
>Enslave myself to defense contractors and our Israeli masters instead
>Get sent half a world away to be crippled or possibly killed by towelheads
Wow, such freedom

fat people hate

>volunteer
>not required by state

gtfo chink chong

Fresh prince of Haiti

>Be US Govt.
>Need shitheads to constantly throw their life away for freedom
>Shittiest job in the world, no one wants to do it, what do we do with all these weapon stockpiles?
>Willingly create decaying jobless poor as third world pockets in us, the world's richest country
>No jobs there, no education, no prospects, no money, only one way out
>Harvest fresh recruits once a year
Totally volountary tho

what part of FREEDOM™ is it that you do not understand?

>> no prospects, no money, only one way out

fag, obviously you've never sold drugs

Idk man, post more eagles, eventually I'll get it

>implying he enlisted as infantry
>implying the military isn't a fucking fantastic deal
Not only will they be paying you to learn a skill (they offer careers in every field: IT, EMS, CS, etc), but you'll then have a guaranteed job in that field. Furthermore, they'll pay you to go to college under the GI Bill. Not to mention the awesome retirement plans.

is this doing anything for you?

no dude obviously enlisting is an automatic death sentence and you'll be thrown out of a plane right on top of isis strongholds, we don't have drones or icbm or any long range alternatives

It's making me desperado to live life in the fast lane.

Man, come on. I've had a rough night and I hate the fucking Eagles man!

well back in my days we didn't even get parachutes. We had to make do with the excess skin folds that we EARNED through good ol' honest work and then glide down to the ground like flying squirrels

thats like, your opinion, man

this made me kek unreasonably hard
but have you heard hotel california?

Fat people deserve your respect

you deserve a fat gf

I'm not really keen that people "deserve" anything except basic courtesy.
Everyone needs to earn my respect. Fat people cna figure out how as much as everyone else.
I'd suggest they didn't try for categories like attractiveness, athleticism and strength of character though.

You're a slave either way, the elite doesn't care. Better get some training and discipline, it will make you a stronger man in the end (unless, of course, you do get crippled or killed, but you could just as well die in a bathroom accident at home or get sucked into a press in the paper mill you work at).

Damn that's disappointing. Tell him if he can't just lower is caloric intake then he's definitely not ready for keto. IMO keto is better once you're more experienced with dieting and have shown some progress/have a system worked out.

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99% of US military never see combat

You have to volunteer for a combat role in order to actually be put in harms way.

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Joe Walsh hell yeah!

>this
The concept that anyone has a natural right to my respect is absurd, I don't know why it's pushed so often

>waste on hair dye

If it's absurd colors and they smell, there's a good chance they're making it at home. Got a coworker named Kenni that makes her own red hair dye, because she's too poor to afford normal dye (despite being paid the same as the rest of us). Problem is it washes out too easily. So her answer is not to wash her hair. Ever.

People also don't deserve disrespect by default, and there's no middle ground between the two.

It is possible to be neutral to someone, although it may be regarded as "cold"

>2014
>Visiting the states (leaf) and about to get on the bus home. 8 hours.
>Lots of fatties in the states in malls and shit, but no personal encounters.
>Bus pulls up, seems pretty damn full.
>Check out the bottom floor first, because the upper will probably be full by the time the 10 or so of us load in.
>Only seat available: next to a middle aged black guy, across from (in a table format) super-mega-fatass who literally. No exaggeration, took 2 seats by himself.
>Internally panic and check out the rest of the bus.
>Nothing at all. Absolutely no free seats.
>Try to stay positive. Sit next to black guy, say hello.
>Do my best to get comfortable.

5 minutes later.

>the most putrid stench I've ever smelt permeates the air.
Now mind you at this point of my life I have an uncorrected deviated septum. My sense of smell at this time is maybe 10% of what it is now.
>Immediately feel like throwing up the fucking super salty american food I ate.
>In absolute amazement no one else on the bus feels this way, it seems like only I'm having trouble.
>Despite previously having no trouble sleeping on a rocky, shitty bus, or getting travel sick, I'm barely able to hold my insides together.
>After about 15 minutes, go to the bathroom and throw up 3-4 times.
>Return to my seat. Fatass starts coughing and sneezing into his fucking hands and wiping it on his shirt.
>Face backwards from the table seperating us, bracing my back against it and trying my best not to breathe.
>7:40 more of this fucking shit.
>Rant to my girlfriend who also hates fats, prays for me.
>Somehow manage to hold in more puke until the first break station, but feel more uncomfortable than any other point in my life.

>First break station arrives, I immediately catapult out of the bus and just fall onto the ground, laying towards the sky at some random highway stop in 3 am in a foreign country, defeated.

Cont.

>THE FUCKING FATASS GETS OFF, AND STARTS TALKING TO HIS FRIENDS
>this motherfucker had 3-4 friends who were also on the bus. And they didn't fucking sit together.
>Feel intense rage boil within me,but stay there, laying on the ground, to inhale as much fresh air as possible before the break ends.

>Get back on the bus and continue my journey of torture, unable to sleep, honestly holding back tears.
>5 hours into the journey, the first "destination" arrives.
>Fatass gets off the bus.
>A wave of relief that can't be expressed with words, akin to taking a piss after holding it in for 6 hours.
>With the newfound abundance of space, head to another table format far enough away so his wet-from-ass-sweat seat's smell doesn't bother me.
>People get on and now the bus is relatively crowded again.
>Young white girl sits next to me, asks me if I'm okay, because my face is pale and I look like a zombie.
>Just sitting next to this girl and smelling something pleasant after nearly 5 hours of continous...rancid shit smell put me in a good mood.
>Sleep for 3 hours and never take megabus again.

Fucking fatties. I never take public transit anymore.

Former EMT here. I used to carry Vicks rub to deal with the occasional decomposing bodies and miserable smells, but that became a hassle to carry around, especially when I quit. I started using carmex balm for my lips and just dab a little in my nostrils when needed. It works wonders for body odor smells when I still deal with fatties or shit/vomit/urine/blood/afterbirth/allofthisatonce and it keeps my lips nice.

But yes, don't take public transit.

Posted about my landlord/friend Dom a while back ago.Helped him turn his fat ass life around and find a qt3.14 lady friend. Shit goes smooth for about a year before he fucking relapses like the spineless beta he is and balloons back up by 50 pounds. Here's the story.

> 2014, Freshman year of college
>Lived in campus housing for first semester
>shit sucked so I looked for an available room nearby
>find a decent place
>meet owner, Dominic
>Dominic is fat as shit
>His fucking Toyota Sienna (a goddamn family SUV creaks from him getting out of the car)
>Dom works in IT because of a lucky break he got
>Legit dumb as shit in everything else
>Got divorced and his wife didn't even want the house, just took the car and got away
>He gets fat (I assume) and just keeps getting fatter
This is where we meet

>2015
>sign contract for 6 months and move in by 2nd semester
>2 other roommates named Felix and Javier, chill as shit guys, in CS and Business
>They warn me about Dom's eating habits
>this fat fuck literally raids the fridge on his regular midnight "snacks"
>doesn't care whose shelf the food is on
>guys don't want to upset him cos they need a place to stay
>I can see Dom's depressed as fuck, so being the young bright-minded optimist, I talk with him in common spaces, shoot the shit, discuss some IT career stuff
>The fat must have affected his brain, because I already know more than him with basic knowledge and intro courses
>He gets up around the time that I do when I go for a walk ( a remaining habit of my high school chubbo days)
>Tell him he should join me
>He goes "yeah definitely man, I'll start coming"
>3 months go by, almost time for summer no change

>Dom gets a fuckin' reality check from his doctor
>37 years old, BMI of 46 or something (guy legit was 350+ lbs at 6 ft)
>finally starts coming on walks
>can barely walk straight because his thighs won't let his legs come any closer
>looks like a fucking mountain of flesh on a tripod, his legs angled outwards
>another 4 months pass by, Dom's habits persist, but walks and cutting down on nonstop sugary drinks help him lose weight fast
> starts drinking wine instead of sugary shit, likes the taste
> year and a half later he got himself a membership to 24 Hour Fitness, super sloppy
>eventually met a lady at a wine tasting, dropped about 125 pounds in ~20 months
> We get to Fall 2016
>I'm chilling, got the last bit of classes to take before graduating, basic GE garbage because I bit the bullet and did hard work early on
>Spend a lot of time idling, not much to do outside of gym, walks, and vidya
>Dom's been looking a bit pudgier lately, snapping at random shit that he's at fault for half the time
>Find out lady friend is worried about him, he's not going out for wine tasting, drinking heavier alcohol

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>He goes on this habit
>Spring 2017
>I'm a few months off of graduating and Dom's lady friend ain't around anymore
>he's gone back to shit habits
>Up again at 315 pounds or so
>Legit makes excuses as to why he can't go to gym even though I never asked
>starts raiding fridge
>sit down and talk to him about his health
>I'd been living with the dude for 3 years, was a bit concerned
>he just shrugs it off in that fat manner, says it's his choice and if I don't like it, I can leave
>Decide to say fuck it, got only a few months left til I graduate and dip
> Got a gig in Phoenix and left for there
>come back a year later to visit some friends that lived there
>drop by Dom's house, see him out in the front lawn
>Fat as shit, almost worse than before
>Balding, unkempt, his Sienna looks fucked
>Goddamnit Veeky Forums
>Fatties gonna fat

as a black man, i dream of this being the way I die.

I knew had a friend like that in high school. He kept saying he would lose the weight and join the military cause he didn't have the money for collage but it's been two years since we've graduated and he's working at a loaf and jug and still as fat as ever.

omg I can't stop laughing ahahahah the perfect flip omg more please. of this perfect fat flip.

from /b/ with love

He’s obviously fat as shit, but dude also looks like he’s 6’8

Jesus fucking Christ, how old are you?

I'm a marine POG. I've seen combat. You dont have to volunteer to fight.

probably the not the proper place to post this but anyways

is it just me or does he actually look better? you know, still fat but not as fat

youtube.com/watch?v=JqGuD8ARftw

cows dont drink milk idiot

Dolt

and?

Every marine is a rifleman. You volunteered for it, window licker

Didnt he get a stomach ring or other kinda weight loss surgery?
id be fucking shocked if he wasnt losing weight at some kinda pace.
still hate his guts, but hes looking better

First person harem

>uncorrected deviated septum
I got this, breathing through my nose is damn near impossible most of the time. How'd you get it fixed?

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Fucking hell that caption triggers me

top notch blog my dude

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>you will never set off water fountains with your belly

Call A and M right now and tell them how much better they look. Tell A you've noticed hes putting that weight back on and that he needs to stop immediately, as his friend it is your duty to do this.

They cut out a large portion of his stomach to reduce it to the size of about an apple. He can probably barely manage to eat a Big Mac on an empty stomach

Fuck off boogie.

The difference is you don't have to pay the nurses to wash me

There's a better way I can put that but you get the idea

how absolutely triggered can one person get. lmao you've just flown off the handle at the mention of bootcamp on Veeky Forums. kys

>salty american food
you just sound likea whiney bitch now, tbqh senpai a lam

The military in peacetime does a 10/10 job of raising people from the working poor to the middle class in return for service to the nation. They get free University and free healthcare in exchange for military service thereby allowing them to progress up an echelon in society while also being of service to their nation.

If this really happened, your friend is alpha as fuck.

nigger

>several months ago, don't remember the exact time, friend says I've gotten chubby. Not even mad cause I know he's right
>step on scales next day expecting to be in high 80s/low 90s
>95kg
Think of all those images of fat creatures that can't move from their beds
>tell myself if I get to 100kg I will consider suicide
>over the coming weeks I lose weight and am currently at 85kg
>my physical activity is the same(4hours in retail so lots of walking)
>stop eating shit like a whole cake and 4 packets of chocolate every few days
>still eat junk just a lot less- bit of cake and 1 chocolate every few days.

I k is it's a long and badly payed out story but it's mine and I'm slowly losing the weight and getting better, guys it really is energy in energy out.
Thanks Fit

Dog bless user. I've been down that road and it just feels better and better as you get leaner. If you plateau try counting calories properly, and/or intermittent fasting or even longer fasting mixed in. Its also a good time to start doing some lifting or at least bodyweights so you look better when you reach your goal weight.

I fucking loathe the fatties man. I know its due to depression and shit but what the fuck, I get depressed, everyone does sometimes. No reason to eat horrible food and consume tonnes of sugar.

So some of it comes to how they're bought up as well, mums fat, dads fat, most people they know are probably outside their BMI...

I still can't figure out how they justify it? How can they just not give a fuck?

If you're not going to burn them off somehow, you can't fucking consume so many fucking calories.

Sometimes if I'm in a terrible mood I'll just blatantly stare at their massive guts as I walk past them. Just so they don't fucking forget, ever.

I'm a cunt I think.

Being overweight is the reason I'm depressed in the first place, shit is just a vicious cycle

Your formatting is giving me aids. Addiction and escapism are at the heart of a fatty. I think they all care, but when they think about it they just don't see an alternative. They also don't have any understanding of mental strength and willpower. They think they have none, because they never tried to not be fat cunt.

t. was a fat

Thanks, I'm doing light weight every couple of days, no specific routine just to get used to it.

Fuck yeah

Yes there is. Courtesy/politeness.

Not that user, but I also have it.
Only way I am aware of is surgery.

Some parents force their kids to overeat so by the time they move away they're already obese as fuck and their diets are shit.

>i ate da salty food makes my tum tum hurt
>gotta get on da bus and sit next to another human being
>so nervus to sit nex to nother person im shaking like a leaf
>smell my upper lip and feel very icky
>doing something literally every single person on the planet has had to do but its suuper hard fer mee
>help mee from being uncomfortable it was awkward

Good grief, you are a whiny little coward, aren't you?

Tbh I would dread having to sit next to the hambeast described, and I'm in Australia; Fucking everything here is trying to kill me and I just shitpost without a care.