The Ultimate Bulking Food

Hello Veeky Forums, for a few weeks, I've been preparing for you guys the ultimate bulking food. Some say it could not be done, but it exists. I'm talking about a type of meat that has a 3:1 ratio of protein to fat, no carbs, is a source of fiber, and contains a nice bit of calcium and phosphorous. Yes, you guessed it, the majestic cockroach.
>but OP, where do I get cockroaches from????
Simple, my friend. I raise my own cockroaches in a bin, and am able to eat the babies. For the past few weeks, I've replaced their diet of dog and fish food with corn meal and fruit, along with some table scraps. This is to make sure their digestive tracts are clean of anything I wouldn't want in my body.
I have isolated a few nymphs who I wanted to eat, then I euthanized them in my refrigerator. After this, I soaked them in lemon juice for about 40 minutes to weaken their waxy cuticle, and then I used scissors to remove their legs and heads. After this, I seasoned them in curry, oregano, salt and pepper, and then sautéed them in a bit of olive oil and lemon juice.

The end result was a pretty decent tasting, albeit gamey, bite sized bit of protein. I don't want to spare too many of my darlings, but when my current batch of nymphs molts into beautiful adults I'll gladly eat some more of them.

I will post some more images of the cooking/preparing process, as well as a detailed analysis of their taste.

The OP image is me cleaning the already euthanized cockroaches.
pic related are the lemons I soaked them with. Also, I reused the lemon juice to sautéed the roaches.

Once they were finished, I then had to prepare them for cooking. To do this, I cut their legs and heads off with some scissors. In the future, with small Eublaberus nymphs like these, it may be a good idea to cut the some of the tergites (dorsal exoskeleton segments) off as well.

Unfortunately, I do not have an image of me seasoning these darlings, but I can assure that they were seasoned with curry powder, oregano, salt, and pepper.

In this picture, I am cooking them. I pan fried them a bit, and then added lemon juice. I think they could have cooked just a pinch longer. Boiling or deep frying may also be a superior method of cooking them compared to what I did.

Finally, they are done. Ate one straight, and the other two I tried making a roach sandwich.

Fucking Christ op.

Cooked, served, delicious!

In terms of flavor, the roaches are just a pinch gamey (though, this may be because they were slightly under cooked). I believe the curry powder was a mistake, and that they would have been better off with cinnamon or some other seasoning. Their exact flavor was a sort of bitter, mushroomy taste. The meat of the roach was smooth, a bit like oyster or muscle, while the shell itself was crunchy and took a while to chew. The roaches left a pleasant after taste, and once I got over the fact that I was eating my precious Eublaberus nymphs, I soon found myself enjoying the texture and the after taste.

The roach sandwich I made was also pretty good. Siracha sauce really improved the flavor, and the bread helped the balance the texture.

In terms of macros, roaches by body mass are about 65% moisture, 23% protein, 7% fat, 3% fiber, and the last 2% of body mass in the analysis is just vaporized ash from the calorimetry process. Roaches also have 800mg of calcium per kilo of roach, and 2600mg of phosphorous per kilo of roach.

I hope you anons enjoyed this experiment, and I also hope some of you may join me in the breeding and consumption of some of God's most beautiful animals.

i can tell your ugly just from this pic alone.

Include me in the fucking screencap. You're an absolute fucking animal, and you're definitely gonna make it OP. The shit people do for (You)'s is outstanding.

keep it up user

>the roachanon is back
Desist immediately

You should start mass producing them and selling, I'd like to try some.

What the fuck is wrong with you

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Oh fuck this guy again

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Im unironically considering adding them to my diet
Questions
Do you have to take out the organs or do you eat the bitches whole no head no legs
Can you make them into a paste for some sort of mock proton bar

The way of the future dood.

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Not OP, but clearly eat it whole. Everything is so small, you won't tell you are eating organs.

i missed you roachbro, good to known you still lurk

But will the organs get me sick if under cooked?

Need a way to speed up the leg / head removal process. I could see roasting these and it being healthier than fucking potato chips.

You could remove the intestines if you so desired, however, as long as you don't feed them anything you wouldn't eat I don't think you would want to.

You could puree and dry them to make some type of powder, or turn them into a sauce of some sort. I would recommend eating them with rice, I think that would improve the flavor, as their texture is both smooth and crunchy, having something soft, but firm, such as rice or bread really improves the experience.

>pic related, my roach colony. Note the corn meal which is their primary food source.

Insects are able to synthesize their own protein via their symbiotic bacteria, so they can exist with pretty lousy food like corn meal.

What the fuck is wrong with you?

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WHAT THE FUCK IS THIS THREAD?

fucking based roachbro

>bitter, mushroomy taste

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No worse than shrimp or any other shell fish. Cockroaches are like land shrimp or land lobsters, sorta. My adults are larger and will probably provide more meat.

I don't give a fuck how healthy it is I'm not eating another roach in my life you fucking animal

no

NOT THIS SHIT AGAIN

>I'm not eating another roach in my life
>another
Explain?

Just use scissors or your hands. When i was doing it, it was possible to cut off multiple legs at the same time. Also, it's probably OK to leave the heads on. The only reason In dislike the legs is due to their spininess.

I thought you just raised them and that you were joking about eating them in the last thread you sick fuck. Can tell from this mouth shot that you are an ugly ungroomed faggot, reconsider life.

remove kebab

>this is considered a delicacy in the nation state of yuropooria

>spininess
Yea seems like they would fuck your intestines. I'm talking about industrialization though. People are fucking retarded and will eat anything. With an endless supply of these fuckers for free it would be easy $$$$ if you could figure out process.

>the curry was a mistake
>the curry

You guys are such closed minded bitches

Jesus Christ
This is the future

>this son of a bitch actually raises cockroaches to get his protein
Ever heard of chicken breast you filthy cunt

Yea fuck it, people literally eat spiders and scorpions served from hotdog style trucks in some places... there is money to be made here.

UMA DELICIA

Hmm. Interesting idea, you could probably get day laborers or something to do it for cheap. If you wanted, you could also sell them at a farmers market or something at a premium. Those types of people love novelty.

>this fucking thread

Include me in the screencap

Jesus fucking christ....

jesus fucking christ i've heard of threads of threads like this but i thought they were only legend

ayy it's the roach thread guy

the cockroach eater is back brace yourslevs

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Yea, but we're already dealing with cockroaches so cheap mexican labor would be about like kikes working at Auschwitz.

I'm just here to farm some reaction images

AYE Roachbrah, welcome back

Fuck it, I'm hopping on the roach train, one way trip to gains town incoming
Where do I buy roaches and what are the meatiest breeds

You're not wrong. I personally just love cockroaches, and I want to inspire others to integrate them into their lives.

If you have family, you may be able to get them to help you de-leg and behead them. The process was decently quick for me, even though it was my first time. I think with practice, it shouldn't take more than a few minutes to do a whole dozen roaches.

NEVER POST HERE AGAIN

>implying the holocaust
Promise I wasn't

I would recommend you breed them yourself. That way you can control their diet and really be like a farmer.

I hope that cockroaches will become part of the future of personal sustenance and farming.

>If you have family
Nah, I want to the one profiting off of retards, not the actual retards. I'm thinking cockroach mogal not a fast food worker. Think big win big.

I was a cell technician for towers and we'd drive to these middle of the fucking woods towers in bum fuck Virginia. I had a crew of Mexicans assigned to me and they all thought I was the actual Texas ranger because I had grown up Inna woods. I used to catch snakes with my hands etc. etc.

Well one day I wrangled up this big fucking cockroach on an indoor site and was showing it off to all the Mexicans who looked at it with fear and I made mention they were super healthy to eat as far as nutrients go.

They immediately started putting money on me eating it and I caved at 75$. It tasted horrific, fought for too long and probably gave me aids. Second worst taste of my life.

You don’t eat shrimp-of-the-toilet with their shells on, you goof.

I would recommend you breed them yourself. That way, you can control what diet and species you have. Also, the joy of raising these beautiful, precious, adorable animals is a reward in and of itself.

Im surprisingly indifferent about this, you do you, OP. Don't ever let a girl find out about this tho

Don't your cockroaches grow wings? Flying cockroaches are disgusting, when you're trying to kill one they fly off the ground, it's scary as fuck.

I am a farmer
I just need to know where to get a grill roach so I can buy a male and have him knock her up
Isn't there a breed of monster roaches, like rat sized, I don't want to murder 50 of them when I want a snack

Welcome back roachbro

Can you post more of your cockroach farm? Im genuinely curious

Why is this thread allowed

"Insect Husbandry" would entail breeding them to be larger.

The real question is why aren't you milking your roaches OP?

Oh, there's a lot of websites to buy roaches off.
I would recommend bugsincyberspace.com or roachcrossing.com, those two have basically been my go-to for all my invert needs.

>If you have family, you may be able to get them to help you de-leg and behead them

It would have tasted better if you cooked it. You wouldn't eat raw shellfish or meat, Earth's bountiful and beautiful insects are no different.

>Tfw no insect husband

You'd have the same reaction if you ate a raw shrimp, lobster, or crab too, retard

>step aside roachlets

Have you considered the humble slug OP? It has no pesky shell or limbs that need to removed. You could probably make a kind of mincemeat out of them which would be very versatile for cooking

Very informative post op, I enjoyed it. Definitely gonna make it.

Both of you shitty bug loving queers can fuck off. I love raw crab/Shrimp/beef. Bugs are disgusting and you can take your shitty bugs and put them in your ass.
>Mammal protein masterrace

Way to go. You ate 3 which probably equals 20gs of protein and you had to prepare them by cutting off each leg and cooking them. This is why we don't eat bugs. Not because they're bugs. Because they're not a practicle, convient, or nutrient dense source of food. Eat a chicken. 1 chicken will fill you up and will provide you with way more nutritional value. I'm more annoyed that you're dumb enough to think this is a good food than grossed out.

I've never been able to get my slugs to breed, unfortunately.

>pic related are leopard slugs, the type that I have. I haven't got them to breed, but I have gotten some small glass snails to breed.

I'll try breeding garden slugs one day, they get pretty large so I bet they would provide a lot of meat.

>another
T*RK DETECTED

Southern American with Russian bloodlines thanks

I mean I wouldn't go with roaches myself but it's not the craziest idea I've heard, although it doesn't strike me as a better idea than chicken breast

You can buy protein powder made of crickets so I suppose this is similar

>basically free
>easy to prepare
>tasty(?)
What more could you want

> shrimp and crab
> mammals

Look who flunked science.

Good stuff OP. Been considering crickets as a food source as well. Cook your roaches on very high heat with oil next time maybe a peanut oil and toss some old Bay on them

This was just a test run. Once my second batch of nymphs reach adulthood and start breeding, I'll be able to eat the adults (which are larger), and also have a larger breeding stock. If you were going to eat them for more sustenance, obviously you should eat like 20 or 40 or something. Cutting the legs off is easy, it's no different than preparing shrimp, even easier than de-shelling them I believe.
Each of these nymphs was about 4g each, so assuming you ate 20 roaches of the exact same size, that would be 80g of roach and about 21g of protein. 20 roaches is not an unreasonable amount, especially if you have multiple, productive colonies.

Nobody says "Southern American" stupid Turkroach, stop eating your countrymen. You should have said Southern, and we would have understood.

>not eating raw shellfish
have you never heard of an oyster

A+ thread OP. gave me a hearty kek

is that really you

BASED ROACHMAN HAS RETURNED.

all roaches have wings but only american cockroaches can use them and they usually don't

I prefer mammals for my protein source but will also consume shellfish. I did perfectly well in science. You eat fucking bugs how dare you insult me you swine

Bitch
Do you know how many countries have a southern area?
All of them.
I was raised in SC outside of Columbia. Eat shit.

Thanks for the advice, I'll try that next time.
I personally dislike crickets because they are pretty cannibalistic, not to mention the noise and the smell makes them hard to live with.

>implying I'm OP
> Implying eating bugs is a bad thing
> calling me a swine

You are an onion of failure.