Do I just fly over there and say "Hola soy gringo con mucho dinero donde esta chicas con culo gordo?". I literally feel like I'll never get a thick fit latina, how much (and how long) do I need to lift? Where to meet them aside from travelling?
>pic related, my absolute dream
...
Help? I jacked off 6 times in 2 days to thick latinas. Will taking salsa or bachata classes help me with them?
just go to a bar near a college shortly before closing time. They are stuffed full of short, thicc latinas
speak real spanish.
You sure that will help? I'm just average gringo joe with normie lifts
...
I'm latino myself, learn to dance bachata, thank me later.
What do I say to latinas on tinder brehs
My chicks Mexican. Chivalry is very much alive in Latin countries. When they see a white guy doing it they pay attention.
"call me "papi""
What do you mean? Stuff like holding doors or just being respectful?
brown skin gf how?
tfw no thick latina gf to take a dump on my chest
...
Help please. What are the odds of pulling latinas as a gringo? I never had any luck with white women, only a few arab chicks
>Sofia Nix
Good taste, laddie.
Nada melhor do que pardinhas
Uma delicia
You already know bro. She fucked herself now with all those surgeries. Litarally perfect all natural. Only thing off was her stomach, looked like stretched or scars in some pictures.
God damnit what I would do to get a girl like that. I'd be dicking her day and night until the last black holes in the universe have evaporated
I see u dont shave
I was in love with this girl when I first saw her - couldn't believe what she looks like now. She must have developed a nasty drug habit or something because she completely ruined herself.
She's the only porn star that I would shell out a lot of money to fuck, even still.
Yea it's pretty sad but honestly, that girl was made for sex. You couldn't keep a girl like that, she has everything face, tits, ass, fucks like a sex demon, nice teeth, nice waist. She can literally fuck anyone she pleases. Only Esperanza Gomez could be on the same level, if she had real tits
>Only thing off was her
S T D tests coming up positive for everything?
>tfw she was an actuaI CoIombian prostitute and that's how she was discovered
How do I get a Brazilian gf? I'm a blondie blue eyes if that helps, I heard it does but not sure
Yea and that too. So she stopped porn because people discovered she was a prostitute? In any case, I just want to delete this game and start a new main with better stats
It's a plus but won't do it by itself
>all these people going crazy over latinas
I hope you're all latinos, if not keep your hands off of them.
Mfw I married a Latina and pumped her fill of my white seed
d-delet this
Don’t be a beta faggot and be white, literally that’s it. If you want mad pussy, have some cash And learn how to dance salsa, merengue or Vallenato. Manizales, Medellin and Cali are the prime spots.
Also it’s Colombia/Colombian you dumb faggot
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what are you doing user
Will I get robbed/stabbed/kidnapped because I'm white? I'm not obnoxious or into drugs, just want to have a good rime and visit the country
got you senpai
Start slangin yayo and get some connects down south
Sorry my manlet friend, all your women are belong to us
Be polite, learn Spanish and you'll be fine. It's folk who are obnoxious and flaunt money/vocal about coke use that come off as easy marks.
t. Colombian-American
>be 6' bean
>taller than the average bean
>not ugly by any metric
>still lose out to white dudes that are taller by average
>mfw white dudes around where I live are taking all the latina qts
S-Stop it
You can have the white women
They come with a free feminist upgrade lel
Not In Manizales, it’s very "white" and safe. I can’t speak for Medellin, but avoid the ‘comunas’ (colombian barrios) at all costs in any city. I’m still figuring out Cali, it’s got its nogs and browns but the QTs are unbelievable, like Sofia Nix tier but with even bigger asses. The area near Chipichape mall is nice and safe enough. As an advice, never stop to talk to someone if they started the conversation (it’s fine in Manizales). The area near Cable Plaza and the bars/clubs in Chipre (near the observation tower) are where the QTs hang in Manizales and it’s safe AF. Speak Spanish cause we are too lazy to learn English kek. Always get bottles from clubs or department stores, there’s been an issue with adultered alcohol lately. Éxito And Carulla are your friends for drinks (in Cali, La 14 is good too).
>tfw met qt white girl (or so I thought)
>chat her up a bit, think she's great
>find out her dad is browner than I am
>mfw she ends up dating a turbo Mexican instead
I may have to settle with white user, I can't even get with a Crypto-Latina
Ok cool, thanks for the info. What else can you tell me about Colombian customs (ex: looking in the eyes in Asia is sometimes considered rude) or culture? General tips? Will I pull anything if I never had much luck here in Canuckland? How are women over there? I find women here very cold and if you are not interested in you, they are very rude
Also OP, I cannot stress this enough: DO NOT ACT LIKE A SOYBOY!!!! Latinas can smell that shit from 10 miles away, and they’ll just end up using you for your money. Embrace the Chad and let them know you are the gringo conquistador out to hunt prime pussy. Colombian girls cannot resist a white American with a little “machismo” in him, it’s practically in their DNA to get wet for European-looking men.
instagram.com
We’re all gonna make it brahs
A friend of mine once told me they are very aggressive and will actually do the first move. They are way less reserved than western women. Any truth to that?
>How are women over there? I find women here very cold and if you are not interested in you, they are very rude
Everyone here is very friendly specially to foreigners. Even more so in Cali, they literally are born and bred to be sex beasts. Looking in the eyes is a must, though not autistically at all times.
Dancing is a must, specially in Cali since it’s the capital of salsa. If you can dance, guaranteed pussy. Act friendly and interesting, but once again make sure you avoid the ‘comunas’ and other rough areas. Make sure to bring a buddy who knows Spanish, helps massively. AFAIK the chipichape mall in Cali has its own hotel, so you’re set in that regard. Using tinder helps too, but make sure it is always you who arranges the time and place for everything: remember, YOU call the shots and not them. If they start to act like goldiggers, dump them immediately (or ask for a price kek, Medellin has a problem with goldiggers). When using taxis always call one or use Uber, helps with safety. Talk to the drivers, they’ll have lots of useful tips (some can even help you where to score some blow, but I don’t recommend this for the first trips: if you’re really into that, just wait and get settled into the areas you’re visiting) cont.
Personal presentation is everything. We are very image conscious, so don’t go looking like an American tourist (sandals, t shirt and shorts) because no-one will take you seriously. Dress to impress and have a nice haircut with it. Since you’re posting here I’m assuming you’re Veeky Forums so that shouldn’t be a problem: women here don’t care too much about your physique (it’s all about the dress) but having a fit body will send the pussy to overdrive (if I wasn’t autistic and if I was Veeky Forums I would’ve gotten laid by now, learned that the hard way)
Jajaja I’ve only gotten that from uglies. If you’re a white 7/10 and above and you’re not making moves, chances are they will out of desperation. But you making the first move is what’ll lock them in: only dropping spaghetti will ruin your chance with them at that point
What is trending fashion wise in Colombia? I imagine well dressed in Colombia is different than in canuckland
As I stated before, this is one of the /col/ approved looks: pair that with an Apple Watch and you’re golden.
This is another patrician look. Don’t forget the cologne!
How are they bred to be sex beasts? My Anglo brain cannot comprehend.
Why do latinas invariably smell like BO and tortillas
>tfw latino
>tfw can't dance
You know I was bitching ITT thread about how I can't ever seem to get with latinas but I'm starting to realize I'm really bad at being latino myself
IME even American Latinas are like that, all the ones I've fucked made the first move, they were thrilled to have a chance at a sexy white man such as myself. As outgoing and aggressive as they are, they actually do feel inferior or not good enough, they literal see you, as a white man, as their better.
Also just to prove I’m not a LARPfag
Go to colombia and ask them "mira perra de mierda ponte en cuatro y chupame la verga o te caigo a coñazo"
Trust me itll work.
T. Venezuelan Veeky Forumsizen
What does scooby smell like
Hahaha damn bro I had a good laugh. Will come as soon as I get my shit sorted out
Damn is that true? Where to meet them? Dancing classes?
I used to know this feel. It’s crazy how much being a dance-challenged Latino hurts your chances to score, it’s like you’re worse than being poo-in-loo for latinas. Get that sorted ASAP, you’re gonna make it brah
>Be me
>Be 6,2 blonde eucuck
Went to peru and met brazilian girl 9/10 thicc
She didnt speak english and i dont speak portuguese so we didnt talk much but we just kissed instead. Went to brazil to meetup.
>bestsex.jpg
I open tinder once for fun and it gets flooded with likes and super likes. Meet up with some thicc hotties and they too are way too easy.
Decide to go to some parties on my own. Girls came up to me and asked if i wanted to kiss.
So if my advice is just go there. It's crazy how easy it was to have sex with thicc latinas.
RAAAAAAAAHHHRRRR HOW CAN THAT BE WTF BIGGER ASSES?!?! NIGGA YOU BE TEMPTING ME WHAT IS SO GOD DAMN SPECIAL ABOUT THIS CITY?
>TFW NO ULTRA THICC DEMON ASS COLOMBIAN FIT GODDESS
Latinas are by far my favorite type of girl but I would never have a chance with any of them
>worked this campus job in college 4 years ago
>girl who worked there was an absolutely beautiful Mexican Latina, seriously model tier looks with porn star proportions
>pale white skin, beautiful face with big eyes and full pink lips, long thick curly dark brown hair, huge but firm breasts, wide hips, thick thighs, fat ass, slight accent
>would even sometimes come into work from the gym so she would be wearing spandex that made her body look even better
>treated me like fuckin dog shit
>would insult me in front of people with stuff like asking about if i had friends, if i had a girlfriend, just demeaning stuff like that to insult me
>basically refrain from talking to her besides a few words
>she becomes a student manager and gets me written up once for not talking to her about work stuff
Worst experience of my life.
This is true, we have this thing called "mejorar la raza" (improving your race) where we want to be white so we try to get with white men/women.
>tfw 5’4 spiclet
>tfw you know longmen whyteboiis can snatch your women without even trying
I swear it’s the dancing and our machismo which keeps us from losing our women.
Its not just that though user, I can barely speak spanish (when I do its heavily accented since I have a slight accent with my English), I hate spicy food and I inherited none of that slippery beaner charisma my dad and brother has.
Where did I go wrong?
I went to sao paulo on my own and i dont speak spanish or portuguese.
This is me Those tips you gave are the same for sao paulo. Just act friendly and interesting and go to parties. I met the most beautiful and friendly women there.
Colombian society places high importance on appearances: women have to be pretty and men presentable and affluent-looking. And the Escobar years brought the ‘narco-aesthetic’ where we went nigger-tier on the tits and asses. Cali women are notorious for getting surgery done to look as sexually appealing as possible, not just to score a good affluent husband but also to signal a form of status: after all, the prettier people tend to be more affluent around the world as a general rule. There are many natural beauties too, so no need to worry about the plastic
m.youtube.com
I know it’s vice, but it sums up the country’s obsession with beauty.
>be me
>33 year old khv
>ugly manlet
when will it be my turn?
;_;
who cares about her dad?
what the fuck nigga are u gay or something
the only question should be if shes hot or not and you bring up her dad
you got major gay problems
Well, Manizales is just the whitest looking part of the country (the whole Paisa and Coffee Growing regions are like that), so I’d figured you’d like a “white” Colombian the most. We have 10/10 negresses in Cali too, I seriously get some major jungle fever when I go there
>Its not just that though user, I can barely speak spanish (when I do its heavily accented since I have a slight accent with my English), I hate spicy food and I inherited none of that slippery beaner charisma my dad and brother has.
>I inherited none of that slippery beaner charisma my dad and brother has.
Oh no baby, what is you doing!? You got fucked over hard bro, do something IMMEDIATELY.
I'm 5'9 blue eyes eastern europe. Will I have any chance even if I'm not in the 6' club? Holy shit guys I'm having a latina fever overdose SEND HELP I JUST WANT A SOUTH AMERICAN GODDESS. LITERALLY DYING OF THICCNESS AHHHHHHB
AIDS
just wear boots everywhere and you'll be the tallest guy in the room
>Americanized latinas
>ever
They’re worse than white women, you need to go the source my friend.
well user, you’re a fucking aryan, of course you’d do well anywhere.
>6’2 blonde
Basically easy mode. Also, I love Brazilian Portuguese. Hard to compete with that accent, it sounds so sexual
5’8 is the manlet cutoff here, you’ll be fine.
if you're not the tallest guy in the room you're in the wrong room my friend. And yes you will have a lot of chances. Every brazilian guy is a manlet so you'll be a god to them. If you say anything in english they are sold
Honestly I don't think its something that can be learned, my brother is my complete opposite, 5'6 manlet, DYEL, pale as fuck, straight hair and a smooth little bastard. Meanwhile I'm 6', can gain muscle mass pretty easy, olive complexion, thick curly hair but with the charisma of a dead horse.
Biggest redpill of my life is that you can be fit, tall and not totally ugly but if you don't have the charisma to go with it all, you may as well be Dennis Rader.
>tfw I'm the older brother
>tfw younger brother lost his virginity before me
Brazilian portuguese was very sexual. especially if it comes from those thicc goddesses
What does aids smell like
The previous pic was of the observation tower, pic related is just upwards from it. This is where are the QTs in the Chipre neighborhood in Manizales hang out, it’s a little dead rn because everything starts at 9:30/10 PM. It’s a little chilly here, so bring a jacket if you can’t stand the cold. Be mentally prepared to see scores of asses in tight denim jeans.
>ugly manlet
Define this. How tall are we talking here. Are you face-ugly? Cause Colombian men are ugly AF when it comes to the face, this is not the problem here: are you Veeky Forums? Are you autistic? Is your attitude cheerful?
>tfw spic
>can't get a gf
>27
I think you are memeing me to travel there and get kidnapped by the FARC so you can have a fat cut. I don't believe you that there are Sofia Nix tier women unless you post proof
>with the charisma of a dead horse
But how? I don’t know about you, but I’ve always been a rather cheerful person, goofy sometimes: it actually hindered me with women sometimes since they saw me as immature. Had to use the Marlon Brando method
youtube.com
Though technically still a virgin, I’ve gone fully to 3rd base several times so I must be doing something right. You can do this user, you need to find something you’re passionate about other than lifting and let it consume you: for me it was getting Veeky Forums and learning about foreign cultures which made me a ‘cultured person’, one that can talk passionately about a certain topic. Once you can do this, transfer that passion into your personality. That’s how I got my charismatic persona.
WE’RE
ALL
GONNA
MAKE
IT
>wanting a fatass gf
>muh thicc
I want this nigger meme to die.
Do you seriously want me to take creepshots? Lol if you’re that worried about FARC then avoid the Cauca department (what we call states here) completely. That’s where they’re at. The other risk is kidnapping but as I said, having a travel buddy helps. Also look at the ass on the far right of the picture, that’s what’s pretty common here.
I don't know how to explain it, my brothers and a friend said I have a bad habit of droning on whenever a topic I'm really interested in is brought up (lifting, history, anything involving piano theory, my time in the Muhreens) and that I don't talk enough when these topics aren't being discussed. This in turn has made me very self conscious and now they're telling me I sound incredibly insincere when I bullshit. I've honestly considered seeing a shrink about legitimately getting checked for autism because I can't *get* it.
Also if you see more closely behind the white car, there are some dudes in green: that’s the police. I’ve only given you the nicest and safest cities to travel (Cali, Medellin, Manizales), notice how I avoided the capital (Bogotá) completely and other meme cities like Cartagena.
google.com.co
Not trying to dupe you m8, just helping fellow fitbros
>Eating sopa de macaco for maximun gains
Hues are gonna make it
It’s not about the topics themselves, you have to be able to sound just as passionate regarding anything else, as you said. Maybe it is autism, who knows. Are you a good listener too? Women love to drone on too when given the chance, it’s always good to have the ability to pretend you’re interested
I don't know if I'm a good listener, I've never gotten that far, I'd like to think that I would be
My ex was Colombian and was an alcoholic and basically a total whore. Really nice girl and a lot of fun, but when I realized there was a 0% chance of ever having a serious relationship with her I broke it off.
I'm guessing a lot of Colombian/South American women are this way. The cheating culture there is just too prevalent
No I don't want you to do creepshots (unless you are a certified perv) but I wonder how common are those big asses. Because I'd like to go there ASAP. So it's generally safe? How come the capital isn't? I'm very weary because I never travelled outside Canuckland and western Europe and it might be because of media brainwash but I feel those places are plagued with criminals and murders (can't die before making parents proud)
You could just say to some girl "Hey can I take a picture of you? My rich gringo friend thinks Colombian woman have no asses" Lol
>So it's generally safe? How come the capital isn't?
Is D.C safer that Boise, Idaho? I’ll try to get some assshots tomorrow or later this week if you’re really curious. I’ll post it under Pussy in Colombia general /pcg/.
Also yes, it’s gotten safer but Cali is the most dangerous city of the 3 I mentioned. Read the thread, I’ve stated some ways to be safe in Colombia.
Oh god
I would love to slot into that.
Okay bro I'll be lurking here around 8pm EST. Don't get caught and chopped into pieces
BRAAAAAPP
Alright lads Wish me luck
She was shit testing you dude
They will incessantly question your manhood, you basically have to say stuff like "if you don't think I'm sexy why are you talking to me all the time?" Or just tear them down "do you act mean to make up for the fact that you're not very pretty?" Or better yet attack their age: "why are you over 25 and don't even have a husband yet? Your kids are going to be disabled because of how old you are". Attacking their weight, age, looks, and the fact they aren't married will spin their hamster wheels into orbit, latinas are extremely sensitive about becoming old with no familia
Like with the spandex pants you could say shit like "are you sure you should be wearing clothes that make you look bigger than you already are?"
Sorry Manlets
Generic bimbo