Tfw the smell of your gf's protein shits gets your cock hard as fuck

>Tfw the smell of your gf's protein shits gets your cock hard as fuck
Obscure Veeky Forums feels thread.

>tfw nofap is curing my Death grip syndrome and I can actually blow my load in slampig gf

>gf
reeeeeee

you guys who get off on the smell of shit and farts disgust me. why can't you just like their pussies like a normal dude?

How to acquire slampig gf?

I seem to only attract skinny girls.

>tfw chick you paid to humiliate your penis says you have a nice body

At the end of the day I'll be creampieing my gf and sniffing her protein farts while you jerk off to dead inside pornstars desu

Craigslist or okcupid. I got kinda lucky cause the one I ended up fucking was actually really cool, can cook (obviously), and down for my other degenerate interests. You just have to accept your friends and family will give u shit for dating a slampig.

>tfw you pay a prostitute for sph but she says after you cum it's of average size

slampig means slutty/whorish in swedish, fyi

That dead inside hopelessness is what makes it so hot for me.

I get off to the smell of her ass, but that's it. Not the stuff that comes out of it

>tfw trying to be celebate and since getting Veeky Forums girls keep throwing themselves at me and grabbing my muscles,sometimes even my dick through my pants because somehow society deemed it acceptable.

One time i was having dinner with this old couple at a music fesitval that I had met there and this 50 year old ham planet got absolutely wasted, stuck her hand down my pants and grabbed my dick. Can you imagine if some fat ugly guy had just decided to finger some 22 year old girl for no reason? I literally ended up getting kicked out for it because a drunk woman told a different story.

>have solid tinder profile
>great pics
>shot and funny bio
>great career and education listed
>lots of attractive matches
>text game is decent
>they all want to date
what the actual fuck lads? i just want to bring sluts over to my place and fuck them. i don’t want to waste my time and money going on dates with these whores. yet everytime i suggest meating for “netflix and chill” or anything that implies fuggin, they turn me down and want drinks/coffee instead. and even when i’m fucking assed and go on dates, and it’s going good, they’ll never come to my place on the first night, most of them won’t even hook up with me on the first date. i know that my friend constantly pulls and bangs sluts on tinder. what am i doing wrong?

>tfw you are suddenly able to litteraly fuck the smelly shit out of curvy slampig with a fresh diamonddick though beeing drunk like a bum.

ur too nice

>litteraly fuck the smelly shit out
uhm?

>having your career listed
>having your education listed

only girls that want commitment gives a shit

You are literally too good. Hos have three modes;
>Parasitic boyfriend hunting mode, the roastie looks for a man to cling to as a trophy to show off on social media - finances, social status, attractiveness etc all factor in - roastie will play hard to get and generally be a bitch before she finds a better model to upgrade to
>Slut mode, the roastie wants dick and takes to the latest app or social media outlet to acquire it. Raw attractiveness and social confidence are all you need.
>Ultra parasite mode, the roastie has no intention of using you as a trophy, and instead wants to suck you dry (not sexually) in the most pragmatic and least emotional way possible. Truly mercenary and exploitative. Targets; beta males, friendzoners.

Females that don't alternate between these roles are not hos, but they are rare.

I forgot to say, the solution is to remove career/education and anything that will attract big game hunting stacies to your slutprofile.

>slampig
>gf

>tfw finally hit 3 plate on flat bench but your friends dont lift so they dont care and when you posted it on Veeky Forums you didn't get any (you)s because the thread was derailed by somebody getting BTFO.

congratulations user but more importantly
slampigs are NOT qts and if they aren't qts they are NOT gfs

Same