I need 1000 calories fast!

I need 1000 calories fast!
should I just chug 2 litres of milk or do you have any better ideas?

drink the milk

Eat butter if you're really desperate.

>he doesn't have his own private cow in his basement for direct consumption of milk from the udders

pleb

nuts + raisins
>healthy
>dense in calories
>cheap
>tasty
>high in protein

Eat 2, 7 layer burritos from taco bell

Is GOMAD a bad idea, Veeky Forums?

Why do you need 1000 calories fast?

>The average ejaculate, laden with between 200 and 300 million sperm, amounts to about about 5 calories

You need to suck off 200 guys, m8. Get to it.

It's a bad idea for your overall health, good idea if you don't care and just wanna get big.

a friend got me to watch kissxsis and I haven't stopped watching since.
I forgot to eat so now I'm 1500 calories under my daily goal and I need to go to sleep so that I don't fuck my sleep cycle

thanks breh

Who cares? Just go to bed then eat more tomorrow

seriously doesnt understand how people can watch ecchi anime...zero plot just boobs...its better to just fap and be done with it

Gasoline bro. Don't even have to drink that much of it. It has something like 7500 calories per liter.

something from mcdonalds

>its better to just fap and be done with it
double dubs of truth lmao people are weird

>1 gallon of gas has 31k calories

is it digestible in small volume?

This.
They can also be really good for snacking

>is it digestible in small volume
You have to inject that shit.

Peanut butter and banana sandwich, with a glass of milk.

2 peanut butter sandwiches, 1 glass of chocolate milk and 1 banana are only like 700 cal.
Eating more is harder than eating less

up to literally double that, depending on the fat content of the milk and amount of PB
>eating more is harder than eating less
t. turboskelly

A 500 ml glass of milk is well over 300 calories, and if your peanut butter sandwiches aren't at least 700 calories, you aren't using enough peanut butter.

2 tbsp is 200kcal, how much fucking peanut butter are you using?

peanutbutter sandwich + whole milk

>just double it
>just eat more
it's not that easy, it takes time making the fucking sandwiches (or whatever food you have to prepare) and eating it all, and I get full after 1 or 2 sandwiches, (unless I put little PB and jelly on them), then right after that 2 fucking glasses of milk me being partially lactose intolerant, and 2 big bananas.. it's like a lot, and will probably have to shit right after. It just doesn't feel right to eat that much, force-eating when you're already full is a torture.

>A 500 ml glass of milk is well over 300 calories
a glass usually means 200ml, or 300ml if you fill it up.
>you aren't using enough peanut butter.
if I put more the second sandwich becomes unfinishable

Apparently more than you, skinnyboi

sounds like youre just using bread as an excuse for eating pb out the jar. two slices of bread with 6 tbsp of peanut butter between them. yuck

And that's why you'll never make it

Eat a whole box of Kraft Mac 'n' Cheese.

Peanut butter

post body and ill post mine

3 cups whole milk
banana
scopp of whey (preferably chocolate)
splash some oats or hazelnuts in it

put in blender

1k+ calories, 50ish grams of brotein

>Implying you need an excuse to eat PB with a spoon
Shit's delicious and guilt free

Milk+Banana+Peanut Butter in a blender niggeh

thats fine if its your thing but making a "sandwich" with that much is just absurd.

How much time does it take you to make a peanut butter sandwich and a glass of milk?

blend the following and chug:
>2 cups whole milk ~200kcal
>2 tbsp peanut butter ~200kcal
>1 cup vanilla greek yogurt ~150kcal
>1 banana ~100kcal
>1/2 dry cup oats ~150kcal
>1 large egg ~90kcal
>1 scoop protein powder ~120kcal
>optional: ice to your liking 0kcal

total: ~1010 kcal

Chug 10oz or so ounces of heavy whipping cream

Peanut butter straight from the jar and a lot of milk.

make a smoothie:
-1 cup whole milk
-1 cup plain yogurt
-1/2 cup steel cut oats
-4 tablespoons peanut butter
-1 banana
-1 scoop whey
-some leafy spinach

Should give you 1000+ calories easily