Come home from college for thanksgiving

>come home from college for thanksgiving
Parents talk to me as I’m unpacking
>user why did you bring a bag of onions with you?
No.
>uhh uhhhh I’m on a new health food kick
Post onion stories

>Back from workout
>Pumped as fuck
>Even my cock is pumped cuz roids
>Feeling like a real God
>Get home
>Mom is cooking some dinner
>Drop gym bag and slap her ass
>Sup mom what you doing
>Some dinner user your father will be late
>I know what that means
>Get behind her and start feeling her ass and kissing her neck
>She gets horny af but tries to keep cooking
>Pants down dick out
>Make her feel it
>Take off her pants and panties halfway and start fucking her
>Cum inside
>She takes her pants up and I tell her I'm gonna shower


All this while my little sister is in her room,she has caught us a bunch of times but I showed her whats good and she wont say shit to anyone.

Someone post the one where his parents disown him because of smelling like onions.

N-nice onion story user

>be me
>virgin NEET living with parents
>parents are hardcore libtards
>"daddy I need some money to go and get tendies."
>"alright son."
>ride my scooter nearly all the way to mcdonalds, look around to make sure i wasnt followed
>make a cinematic u turn and go top speed 20mph to the grocery store
>hoodie up, shades on
>check out the onions, want to get white ones because /pol/ but resist my instincts and get red ones
>carry the contraband out to my scooter, hide it in an old mcdonalds bag, put my burger king crown on and head home
>can feel myself shaking as I arrive, Mom is waiting at the door
>fuck
>try to sneak around the house, Dad is waiting, smoking a cigarette in the back porch.
>decide to man up and try to pass in honor of piana
>dad stops me, looking suspicious, tries to do a smell test
>my natural odors throw the onion scent off
>try to walk past again
>"wait son, why are you wearing a burger king hat with a mcdonalds bag?"
>oh no
>"I uh was really hungry dad, am growing boy"
>"we AGREED that you were only supposed to get TENDIES"
>"I uh-Dad don't-"
>"you have violated the code, I'm removing 100 GBP."
>naturally begin to flail arms in autistic rage, then it happens
>spill my onions all over the floor, every which way
>dad looks at me with total exasperation, calls me one of those Veeky Forums nazis
>revokes all GBP privileges, kicks me out of house

And thats the story of how I'm now sitting at a public library, eating onions.

>Hey mom, can you get me some onions when you go to the grocery store?
>No
>O-okay...
Im never going to make it am I?

>be me
>chad tier genetics
>naturally athletic
>fed garbage throughout entire childhood, never had vegetables on a regular basis until I was 18.
>all because of my fat whale mother
>she would smoke inside and damaged my lungs tremendously, ruining my dreams of running a marathon.

Some people aren't meant to make it.

drive yourself

>crawl home from the gym exhausted after scarfing down my post-workout snack
>stomach is really upset. Straight up feels like it's been tied in a knot
>multiple people hold their noses and give me funny looks on the street as a hold my stomach and continue to eat my meal
>get home to my apartment, my stomach still turning
>open the bedroom door to find my gf having sex with another man
>"I'm sorry user. I didn't want you to find out like this but your breathe is just so fucking bad"
>try to muster the energy to yell but only let out a noxious belch, sending them running for the door anyway.
>get a call
>it's my dad
>he disowns me "son, you just aren't the same since you started eating those things. I never want to talk to you again"
>get another call from my boss, tells me to not even bother coming into work
>go into my stress eating phase, just can't stop eating
>open my fridge to get more
>all my onions fall onto the floor and I trip over them
>lie on the floor with my onions for several hours considering how I lost everything except my onions, they're the only ones who didn't betray me

based

I am your papa now

>need some onions for dinner
>maybe grab a couple extras to pickle
>go to store
>they're out
First Veeky Forums stole my graphics cards and now Veeky Forums is stealing my onions

how do I stop the awful onion farts

Holy fuck top kek, user.

uly

ENOUGH

This shit is so funny. I love you Veeky Forums

Do you have more onion stories user?

Gotta have them onion gains brehs. Post your piles.

Posted this in the other thread, might be a bitch because I cut it, but damn it's fucking sharp to eat.

Tastes like I'm eating soap without the soap smell, just the taste. On the other hand, I've masturbated three times today with a lot of thick cum.

It's all good as long as you aren't cooking it. Just wondering, but does your mouth perpetually taste like onions now too?

Yes, but it's strange, my mouth feels clean even though it smells dirty.

I honestly feel like women enjoy it.

It's like when you inhale after brushing your teeth. You can feel the clean, crisp, cold air. Sweat hasn't changed much yet, but then again I haven't exercised yet. Will report back with results soon.

you guys ought to try the garlic pill, similar but more intense
the taste lingers for upwards of 24 hours, but the antimicrobial effects of the allicin in the garlic kills the rotting bacteria smell and replaces it with garlic.

I don't get quite the same feeling. For me it's like the flavor of my saliva changed, and I can tell because the onion flavor gets really sharp when I eat other foods that contrast it., and my gf is hating it. She refuses to be in the same room as me when I'm having my /onionchad/ meals.

Thanks for reminding me! Having my first garlicpill as we speak.

I would go up to her and tonguekiss her.

Show her who the alpha male is motherfucker.

It's really not that hard once you get past the initial hump/mindblock. The trick I've been doing is similar to 2nd user's where I cut it up really really fine, then I hardly have to chew it, much easier that way.

Eventually I'll build up a tolerance and be able to eat a plain onion, I'm sure of it. As for effects, I feel slightly more confident and instead of browsing my usual types of porn I'm watching male dominance videos (not gay type).

Combine this shit with nofap, and I think we've got a winning combination, cheers brahs.

After tryng it: Garlic burns more, but is somehow much more tolerable and delicious. The internal burn/sensation is a lot stronger and more pleasurable.

Had the best fuck I've had in a while with the /onionpill/.

After attempting to eat it like an apple, I threw it in a food processor and chopped it until it was nearly paste and attempted to eat it like pudding. Worked for a few bites. I added lemon juice, salt, and pepper. Worked again for a little, but it was a real chore trying to finish the whole onion. Oddly enough, my porn viewing has changed too. Normally I'm into femdom, and SPH type stuff, but lately i've really been feeling more traditional vanilla.

i tried the hemmingway sandwich
>sliced onion, peanut butter, and black pepper on rye
except i used a shallot instead of an onion.

was good and not hard to eat at all.

That sounds interesting. How important is rye to the flavor? I only have reduced calorie Publix brand. I've tried my sandwich with pork, mozzerella and teriyaki sauce. The strong onion flavor actually compliments the pork quite well.

Eating onions is bad for you!!

not very, i think any whole wheat style bread would work fine as well

Hmm, I see. Gonna whip one up after my workout.

shoo! shoo!

How much onion should i take? I am planning on eating 1 onion a day. Is that enough?

1 should be enough to try, if it works for you I'd continue with that or up it a bit.

Good luck user.

as long as you aren't a 250lb monster, yeah

I have tons

>Little sister catches me fucking mom
>She goes away without saying anything
>Mom looks at me,worried
>I will talk to her
>Go to her room
>She is sitting,pretending to use her laptop
>She kinda ignores me
>Listen there is nothing wrong with taking care of mom while dad isn't home and can't do it
>She looks at me making this weird face between worry and surprise
>My dick is still kinda hard because I didn't finish with mom
>She notices
>I get even harder
>I get close to her
>My throbbing cock is in her face
>I take of my shirt to show my aesthetic body in hopes of turning her on
>She doesnt do anything,just looks at my abs and cock
>I take off my pant and let my dick free
>Grab her by the head and guide her
>She sucks me for a while
>Time to seal the deal
>Lift her up and put her on top of the desk
>Take her leggings off
>Fuck her raw
>She closes her eyes,and doesnt open them until I cum so hard that some cum gets on her face
>I just leave after that
>Go and tell mom everything is fine

ok thanks

Why are we wasting the fibre? I'm thinking of blending up some onions and cloves of garlic with water and ice but I think it's going to be disgusting. How can we make it more palatable?

eat one onion split in 3 or 4 throughout the day with your meals.

...

kek

Just had my first hemmingway sandwich
>2 slices reduced calorie Publix bread 80kcal/5g protein
>2 servings PBfit powder peanut butter 100kcal/12g protein
>60g red onion 34kcal
>some black pepper
>grand total 214kcal/17g protein
This is truly the sandwich of the gods. I can't believe how well these flavors go together. I could have used another serving or two of PB, but this will be a staple of my diet from now on.

>Live in Japan
>Go to cosco to buy onions in bulk at a great price
>have about 15 bags of 20ish onions
>Get to the register
>Cashier asks me if I like onions
>"yes"
>Go back again the next week, I want some red onions this time for the antoxidents
>Get to register
>Cashier whispers in Japanese into the microphone on her shoulder that the onion man is back

>the onion man is back

based anonion threat

Please tell me security followed you around the store.

d-d-didn't get hard

Look what you fucks made me do

enjoy your trip to flavortown and high T, bruv.

What the fuck it's actually extremely good

>my mum is responsible for my lack of success

What is that spread, peanut butter?

yes.

i can't tell if everyone on Veeky Forums is trolling me

At this point I don't even care I'm just craving onions

>chad tier genetics
>fat whale mother

>be me, onion guy
>walking through customs with my bag of onions
>customs agent informs me I cannot bring onions on the plane
>confiscates onions

...

Cooked Onions with eggs are great.

Can anyone confirm just how much onions you need to eat to see an effect in test, does it need to be raw onion juice like the test done on rats or can you cook it and use it any way you want?

I would recommend 0.1 whole onions per kg body weight per day as a starting dose

coc is roc

>15 bags of 20 onions
>go back in a week

You ate 300 onions in a fucking week?

Youre gonna fucking die and then they are gonna make onions illegal you stupid asshole

>love onion so much
>stop drinking waddur
>just want to juice more onions
>oh boy I sure love onions
>google onion
>watch onion pictures
>stop reading fakenews
>all lies about onions not being great
>start reading theonion.com
>boy them journalist sure are great
>change default browser URL to theonion.com
>oh boy i sure love my onions
>great news stories too
>close eyes, see onions in my mind
>never leave me

>Calculate my TDEE
>Need 180G of protein
>1,1g protein per 100g in onion
>juice up 18 kg onions

Gotta hit that protein goal brothers

(you)

No nut november

Holy shit I laughed way too much

my fucking sidews

...

Add a bunch of sugar to it.

Don't worry user incest will be 100% legal in the future

>sugar
Even worse that toothpaste with fluoride

So, does garlic share the same properties as onion? Because I hate onion but there are plenty of garlic capsules that would probably be a lot easier to consume with meals.

That's a mirror of you!!!

>tfw would've got some onions if my mom asked me to

You're mom is a jerk and a gain goblin user.

>tfw juiced an onion and then put the juice in my morning protein shake

Still felt some burn, but way, way easier than trying to shot it by itself or eating the onion like an apple. Gonna do this from now on desu

Whatever it takes, right babe?

onions in the fridge? WTF IS THIS HERESY. ONIONS DO NOT BELONG IN THE FRIDGE.

YOU KEEP THEM FUCKING DRY. WITH PROPER CIRCULATION.


fuck you man. fuck you.

Don't waste onion, just eat it faggot

You guys aren't seriously doing this aren't you?
This is just a fucking meme
Only normies and newfags would be dumb enough to do shit like that ...
Which one are you?

not gonna lie got me chubby

I can't, mouf and stomache are too bitchmade.

I just hope you grow them yourself.

Second day of onion pill, here's what I've noticed on both occasions

>muscle pump for no reason like 5 mins after downing onion
>mild but noticeable headache IMMEDIATELY after eating the onion, lasts for about an hour or two
>congestion breaks up thoroughly in throat. I have congestion pretty much year around and not even the medication I take works this thoroughly or this fast

were worse

>210calories per 60ml

BULKCITY