Stalin, Khrushchev, Brezhnev and Gorbachev are on a train, which comes to a...

Garbage Can Lid
Garbage Can Lid

Stalin, Khrushchev, Brezhnev and Gorbachev are on a train, which comes to a sudden stop. They debate what to do:
Stalin says, “Shoot the conductor.”
Khrushchev says, “No, we should rehabilitate the conductor and reform the train staff.”
Brezhnev says, “Let’s cover the windows with curtains and pretend that the train is moving.”
And Gorbachev says, “No, comrades, we should all get out and push!”
Who was right?

Attached: 7676876876674545435.jpg (101 KB, 1024x904)

Soft_member
Soft_member

And Yeltsin says yabba dap dap doob doob woobola bap bap badum

Evilember
Evilember

Funny joke
Either Khrushchev or Stalin

hairygrape
hairygrape

Putin : "While all of you were discussing it, i repaired the train and i'm driving it right now, oh and i improved it too so it's twice as fast now"

Attached: putin.jpg (239 KB, 782x604)

BlogWobbles
BlogWobbles

puts train on tracks set to make it collide with other trains

Nojokur
Nojokur

*shoots the train driver and engineer along with anyone else who knows how to operate the train*

Attached: pol-pot-smiling.jpg (94 KB, 860x628)

Raving_Cute
Raving_Cute

This really. And it's armed with the most advanced weapons in the world too

Lunatick
Lunatick

kek

Attached: 1499184095625.jpg (321 KB, 782x788)

Sharpcharm
Sharpcharm

Yeltsin: Join me on my other train, it's better. Trust me it exists .

Burnblaze
Burnblaze

Next stop, Kiev!

Lunatick
Lunatick

Oh shit time for someone to post those Russian jokes

MPmaster
MPmaster

Now, this is a good joke.

cum2soon
cum2soon

Karl Marx was resurrected and came to the USSR. He was shown factories, hospitals, cities and villages, etc. Finally, he requested to be allowed to make a speech on TV. The Politburo hesitated as they were afraid he might say something they wouldn't approve. Marx promised he would say only one sentence. Under this condition, the Politburo agreed. Karl Marx uttered the following sentence: "Workers of all countries, forgive me."

Attached: karl-marx-by-ohyran.jpg (66 KB, 900x1003)

takes2long
takes2long

This. The US should really just surrender already before we deploy our moon lasers which we totally have.

askme
askme

two Moscow police officers are walking the streets at night when one of them spots a man on the other side of the street running. The first officer draws his gun and shoots him
the second officer asks "why did you do that? Curfew isn't for another 10 minutes!"
the first officer replies "I know that guy, he lives 15 minutes away"

Flameblow
Flameblow

At the 1980 Olympics, Brezhnev begins his speech. "O!" -- applause. "O!" -- more applause. "O!" -- yet more applause. "O!" -- an ovation. "O!!!" -- the whole audience stands up and applauds. An aide comes running to the podium and whispers, "Leonid Ilyich, that's the Olympic rings, you don't need to read it!"

PurpleCharger
PurpleCharger

We pretend to work, and they pretend to pay us!

Stark_Naked
Stark_Naked

two russians standing in a moscow breadline
one says to the other "i've had enough of this. i'm going to go and shoot gorbachev"
returns ten minutes later without saying a word
"well? did you shoot gorbachev?"
"no chance. the line was twice as long as this one."

Sir_Gallonhead
Sir_Gallonhead

Don't forget
was secretly a train enthusiast this entire time

BinaryMan
BinaryMan

Czech one:

During the winter, what's colder than cold water?

Hot water

Emberburn
Emberburn

Kek

MPmaster
MPmaster

Top fucking kek

Methshot
Methshot

Didn't get this one

SniperGod
SniperGod

You turn on the "hot" tap and cold water comes out because of a lack of fuel

Crazy_Nice
Crazy_Nice

tells everyone the train is running
kills you if you say it isn't

SomethingNew
SomethingNew

Gorbachev and his wife are on a train traveling back to Moscow from a conference in Berlin
after an hour or so of the journey, the train stops and Gorbachev's wife asks where they are. Gorbachev stick his hand out the window and says "we're still in Germany, dear"
a few hours later, the train stops and Mrs. Gorbachev again asks where they are. Gorbachev puts his hand back out the window and says "we're in Poland now, darling"
after another few hours, the train stops a third time. Once again Mrs. Gorbachev asks where they are, Gorbachev puts his hand out the window and announces "back home in Mother Russia"
that night Mrs. Gorbachev asks her husband how he knew where they were just by putting his hand out the train window
"it's simple, dear. In Germany the people kissed my hand. In Poland they spat on it. And in Russia, someone stole my watch!"

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