Any one else notice that fatties are getting real uppity lately?

>Fatties hear REEEEEEEEEE while an autistic teenager with gyno sprints towards them
>Fatty leader utters "Sweet Jesus, not like this."

It sounds weird when you put it like that. How is it any worse than the grunting and whimpering that the stranded manatees make?

Legitimately curious how this is done now
>Tfw I just want to improve my sprint game
Upload video op

I can't find any videos of it but think of it like the yell that tennis players do when making a hard shot. It's like that but you try to hold it for the whole distance of the sprint

This has to be a troll post

fucking try it next time you do sprints. You'll see how much faster you are.
Also, fuck you guys this was supposed to be about fat people

I just have a picture in my head of a tard in full compression gear running past making a fucking Doppler effect with his screech.
>reeeeeEEEEEEEEEEEeeeeeeeeeeee

usually it takes effort to minimize grunting when doing certain exercises , not screeching like an autist takes no effort .

>not screeching like an autist takes no effort
thats the thing though, you do it to put in maximum effort. what aren't you getting about this?

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Sounds like you're mad at yourself for being a little bitch.

sprint screeching is the new lifting plugs?

hold me, fit. I'm gay.

fucking shrecked.
"I gain weight if I diet" bitch needs to stop taking mass gainers then

>I have PCOS and low thyroid that makes it impossible for me to lose any weight.
BITCH PLEASE.
I lost my thyroid to thyroid cancer and I can't circumvent the laws of physics the way you claim to do.
Eat more healthy food, cut the junk. It's not fucking rocket science sugartits, just put in the bare minimum and you'll start to lose weight at that size.
Fuck the thyroid shit pisses me off so much.

It angers me so much, the mental gymnastics they have to do to justify being such horrible morbidly obese goo monsters is incredible

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Why are they so delusional?

please put /fph/ in the subject so I can filter it, thanks

Nah man, this is screech people hate.

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>doing speed screeches for maximum anaerobic and pace gains

REEEEEEEEEEEEEE

the jew made them fat and then the jew empowered them through fake news and shit like tumblr and buzzfeed.

Everything bad can be traced back to the jew, fact.

thank you /pol/

Thank (You) user that gave me a good laugh

OP do you wear full skins when doing this? we need to know

linda bacon, is dat you?

>into chubby girls
>live in eastern europe
>99% of girls here are thin skellies
i wasnt meant to be born here

Why did this make me laugh so much?

>speed screeches

Thanks user. The imagery is perfect.

Am i the only one picturing that gif of piss lord?

>Become very well off selling my internet business during the dot com bubble
>Decide to give back to the community
>Scroll through the help wanted ads on Craigslist
>HIGH SCHOOL SPECIAL OLYMPICS TRACK COACH WANTED!!!!!!!
>This must be very tough but rewarding, lets do this
>Interview for the job, I'm the only applicant that can pass a background check so I automatically get it
>I'm not really sure what I'm doing besides keeping the javelins away from the retards
>First practice we are at the track by the football field
>Punters think it's funny to "accidentally" punt the ball at the retards, during retard stretches
>I think it's funny too but these are my guys so we have to come up with revenge
>"Okay guys, let me tell you a secret about running SUPER FAST"
>Anything about secrets and super powers really gets these retards riled up and at attention
>"When we sprint down the straight part of the track down there by the football team, I need you to scream as loud as you can. That unlocks the hidden super speed in your body."
>The retards become super excited to try out their super powers
>The next 15 minutes bunch of galloping retards screech running by the football team
>The football coach comes over to me and ask me what the hell I'm doing making these retards scream by his football team
>"I don't know what you're talking about dude, just relax they're retards"

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sounds oddly plausible

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did he always have such bad teeth?

What the fuck

I'm sorry everyone is hating on the OP so much. What I am doing for my speed screeches is improving them with raw onion juice. Because it is cold here in the midwest currently, I perform them at a local mall, and I bring a couple thermos full of raw onion juice. Drinking the juice while running isn't good for my stomach, so I just absorb it through the skin by pouring it over my head as I run. I run several laps of the mall at top speed while screeching and whenever I reach the end of the mall and need to turn, I pour about an ounce of the onion juice over my head. Because of how fast the screeches and onions make me run, the fat security guards have no chance at catching me.

>Let out all your air while sprinting multiple times over and over
>Not breathing makes you faster
>Getting dizzy is weakness leaving the body
>Collapsing means you did it right
>REEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEE

>mfw this whole thread is comedy gold but this one absolutely killed ne

ffs someone screencap this pls

I initially thought that screeches was OP trying to express the sound when you full stop from a sprint and change direction (like on a gym floor).

holy shit, dont often see devastation of this level very often.

lmao

>be in police academy
>short fat bitch has no business being there
>doesnt actually try
>dry heaves after every exercise to make it seem like shes pushing through barriers
>eats a fuck ton instead of trying to diet
>runs 1.5 miles in 24 minutes
>cant do 10 pushups
>never improves
>be doing a CADENCE run
>she falls behind in a CADENCE run
>force her to the front
>instructors make her sprint
>she starts screaming as shes sprinting
>ahhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhh ahhhhh ahhhhhhhh
>some people actually giving her support while we jog behind her alleged 100% sprint
>dont know if i should laugh or be so disappointed
>realize that this waste is going to be on the streets
>fuck this shit

nothing i hate more than fatties acting like they are pushing themselves but you can see right through their bullshit

Post your speed screech face, Veeky Forums.

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>at grocery store, crowded as fuck.
> Trying to maneuver my cart full of chicken breasts and oats out of the store after check out.
>Hamplanet teenager is standing in the middle of the aisle causing a huge traffic jam as people try not to get sucked into the gravity well of his nasty gut.
>As I come up on him, say "excuse me", with a smile.
>Hamplanet doesn't acknowledge I say anything and keeps staring off, eyes glazed with the dull sheen of a diabetic oatmeal brain.
>Say excuse me again. Hamplanet gives me a disgusted look and says "No Worries, you'll be ok."
>Stop smiling and tell him to get the fuck out of the way. Hamplanet looks startled and waddles to the solarsytem of hamplanets that is his family checking out there mountains of garbage food.

>you

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kek

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>Medium

>people of size
kek, that's a really nice way of saying "fat"

well it's certainly not referring to manlets

Kek my sides

Are you me?

At the second line I was picturing the short black woman from the films.

I had no idea Veeky Forums had become the funniest board on 4skinz!!!

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You're an autistic faggot
They should of beat you and then jammed a stick up your ass for good measure.
You would've been really screeching then

The worst thing is fat bitches that still have little tits. The only advantage fat whores have is their big tits, but to be fat and STILL be flatchested? Sad!

beta move faggot

never guna make it

Can confirm pro retard strats worked on OP

Keked out loud

This thread made me laugh so fucking hard LMFAO!
I have tears. You guys are too damn funny

>two speed screeches???

Haven't fat pride movements made fatties pretty vocal the past decade? I don't think I've seen it getting bigger than the surgence of SJWs like 5ish years ago.

watch out everyone we've got an internet tough guy over here

>he doesnt sprint down the street screaming
Never gonna make it bro

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>be fat
>want to change myself
>decide to join a beginner's fitness class
>class takes place in park
>fit guy comes over and stares at us for a bit, sneering, before walking away
>get back to workout
>suddenly hear an ear-curling screech across the park
>see fit man screaming as he runs
>he keeps running back and forth screaming his lungs out
>instructor goes over to ask him if he could tone it down a notch
>he starts going on about anaerobic exhaustion
>ask him nicely again
>he gives a scowl before complying
>secretly wish I'd said something rad about his autistic screaming being terrorizing and disturbing the peace
>But I don't
>Try to do our workout but everyone is scared of this man across the way, it's just not the same
>ruinedmahday.jpg

Seriously, it's a public park and he's scaring everyone, not just us working out. The fuck is his problem? Think this has anything to do with us being fat?

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How's your singing voice, OP? I think you should mix in some songs while doing it. It'll probably help

OP here. How the fuck is this thread still going?
The fuck is wrong with you cunts

This is exactly how I imagined it.

You made a tennis comparison, which fucking buried you alive in this discussion. Only cunts screech in tennis, look at best players, you can barely hear them and it is usually grunting sound not some wyvern/nazgul attacking in the park. Same with best sprinters, somehow during olympic games I never see them trying to sound like an ambulance.

something like this?
youtube.com/watch?v=CTOoYxOf92s

>reeeeeeeeeeeeEEeeeeeeEEEEeeEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEeeEEEEeeeEeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeee
And it gets lost in the distance.

OP post a video of you screeching like a retard in the park. I had a rough day and sometimes it helps to know there are the less fortunate out there.

>omehow during olympic games I never see them trying to sound like an ambulance.
That's because it's a training exercise, you don't do it when you're actually competing. Well I have heard some people do it but mostly it's about pushing yourself on the training track

I ran the 800 in college and I've never heard of this

this is all I see

what is this "lately" bullshit?

you mean since 2015 when fat cancer really became commonplace?

Can't believe how much of a pussy you are