I have 2k usd to invest in crypto. What would your portfolio look like if you were me?

I have 2k usd to invest in crypto. What would your portfolio look like if you were me?

33%BTC
33%ETH
33%alts

...

Sounds good. Which alts?

11% BAY
11% NEO
11% XMR

Can you give me a quick summary of why NEO and BAY are promising? I know why XMR might be.

fuck Monero,

what about Ark? is this any good?

90% Niggercoin
10% JUST token

Good if you have $200k. Shit otherwise. Why bother making a measly 100% per annum if you've got such little capital? Chase huge gains on shitcoins if you're willing to put fuck all in.

Too high of a risk if you're a wage cuck like me

1k DRP
1k CTC

Sit back for a year or two and watch life get easier.

50% BTC
25% ETH
25% XMR

200% Etherum Classic

50% ETH
30% BTC
10% ARK
10% LINK

60% ETH
30% BTC
10% OMG

100% xmr

All in on a moon mission.

100% ETH right now. We're going to $500 and that's a conservative estimate.

This is me right now but I feel like I should diversify.

%100 XMR, no need to own any noncurrencies.

realistically this, otherwise Neo