Autistic gym moments

>be me
>deadlift day
> put on new PR
> 5 reps
> 4 reps down last rep to go
> let out a growl from my mouth
> lift that shit
> see people are looking at me
> quick walk to squat rack and do next workout
I felt so fucking stupid

>be me
OH, SERIOUSLY?

I do dumb shit at the gym all the time but no one fucking says anything because I'm one of the stronger guys at the gym.

shut up that how you start green text
stories?

oh please, that's totally okay, some people outright yell before and after their PR attempts, that's proper autistic

>pace in circles between sets
>drum my legs to songs
>mouth lyrics to songs
>once tried to move the bar rests on the power rack up with 1pl8 on each side and no clips. A plate fell off one side and the bar flew up
>used to have to roll bench all the time

>Hold breath through rep
>Finish rep
>Still holding breath while resting
>After 1 min I'm starved for oxygen and exhale loudly and start gasping for air
>alleyezonme.mp3
>Surreptitiously make my way out of the gym
First and only time I had ever left without reracking my plates

> 2nd time squatting
> load up one pl8
> fail on my third squat
> rerack in shame

turns out you're supposed to warm up before squatting

how do you not know that?

>be one of the smaller guys in the gym
>trained with Icelandic strongman in the past and picked up the habit of growling and grunting like a madman
>I don't give a fuck
>nobody else gives a fuck
>OP is a faggot

>take shirt off
>pace around between equipment
>pull pants down to show my v
>yell out loud boom baby
>lift with half reps
>yell boom when I'm done

Kek this cant be real

>use treadmill for about second time ever (static bike and rowing fag)
>fuck up slowing down and effectively trip over myself at >10mph and get thrown off
>must have made a lot of noise, half of gym turns to look
>land in a pile on the floor, pretend to laugh it off and get up and manually walk off to hide in free weights area
>this was two years ago, haven't been near a treadmill since

>not grunting and growling on all heavy sets

never underestimate peoples lack of knowledge

who gives a fuck you sperg I'm the most socially and generally anxious person and even I dgaf when I'm at the gym

ach now don't let that stop you. Honestly bro nobody cares that you fell, at the very very most they went home and maybe off-handedly said "oh yeah some dude fell of the treadmill today, it was mad" but that's the furthest it'll go.
Get back on it bro, you can do it

the only autistic thing about this is that you ran away

>guy asks me to spot him for squat
>first time anyone’s asked me to spot on anything besides bench
>not sure if he wants me to go dick to ass spotting, don’t ask
>basically just standing behind him, not touching at all
>bails halfway through his second rep of 355
>”uh sorry”
Sorta awkward but not that autistic, why don’t people just use the safety bars?

>Be me, 27 year old self improvement junkie
>Decide that this year I'm gonna learn french
>Get French Lessons audiobook on my iphone
>Think to myself, I'm brilliant I can multi task
>Lessons have you recite the phrases through out the session
>Decide it'll be a good idea to do my cardio/abs day while listening to my lessons
>Alone on treadmill speaking french to myself
>noeyezonme.jpeg
>feelsgood.pepe
>Time for some abs
>Dayum dat qt with the butt in yoga pants is doing her meme work out
>Nod my head in greeting, panting from the cardio and say "H-Hey". Get equal nod and "Hey" back
>allgoodIgotthis.jpeg
>I'm gonna woo her with my french
>When she hears that I'm not only working out but learning another language she'll rip her yoga pants off and ask me to breed her
>Jump right into my plank, resume french lesson
>One minute in, start having to say "Je veut une veirre"
>Flip my plank into side plank
>Huffing and puffing for air, "Je veut un veirre d'eau"
>1 minute more
>Switch to other side for side plank
>Full view of dat butt, but I'm focused
>Start grunting and heaving for air
>"Je veut une veirre du vin blanc!"
> "je veut otra chose!"
>whyisshelookingatmelikethat.scared
>she begins to rapidly pick up her bag and water bottle and leaves.
>Aspies you win again.

私わ私

>わ

は

my bad senpai.

How are you supposed to warm up user?

It's "verre" you fuck.

What's it mean

Ancient chinese, It's way too deep for baka gaijins to understand

ha

It's also "Je veuX" and "autre," but who honestly fucking cares about FrogSpeak?