Goint to the gym for the 1st time

This is it bros, I've been lurking this board for like a year now, and decided that I will finally join a gym.

Tell me some some basic rules and practices to a noob like me.

Pls no tipping the receptionist, we don't do that here.

Talk to no one unless to ask if they're using a particular thing, or if you want to work in with them.

Don't wear jeans.

No one cares about what you are doing, so just do it.

What's your routine plan? Are you gonna bulk or cut? Are you going to get 8 hours of sleep a night?

How do you know you've created a sustainable plan?

>not tipping the receptionist
Never gonna make it

Stfu

Don't be afraid to ask for help. Gym Staff are paid to help so make them do their jobs.

Girl at the gym said they would help me in the first few days.

She said something about body examination and eating plan

A good place to start is the Manlet Pit™. If you have what it takes, it should be relatively easy to overcome the other "people" in there and fight your way out. If that proves too difficult for you, it was probably for the best that you found out early. You're welcome

-Bring a towel, you're gonna be sweating, clean that shit up.
-Bring water, keep yourself hydrated but don't go overboard, no one wants to see you vomit because you felt like chugging a ton of water while you're queasy.
-This goes for anything but especially if you're planning on lifting, start at the fucking bottom and work your way up.
Overestimating your strength/stamina is a common beginner mistake.
-Despite the memes, don't 'overtrain', your body has a limit and yours is gonna be low, when you reach it, stop.
It's better to do a bit less than optimal and improve than to strive for the top and get injured at the bottom.
-Make sure your bowels and your bladder are empty before going to the gym the first couple of times.
It's not often but there are always some new-years-resolutioners who manage to have 'little accidents'.
-Stay consistent in your routine, don't skip a training day, this sets apart the ones who put in effort and the ones who don't.
-If you used weights, re-rack them. Don't just put them anywhere on the rack either, put it where it belongs on the rack, this is important.
-Don't leave your shit laying around everywhere, this is a public space, not your personal playground.
-Avoid constricting clothing, you'll look bad in it unless you're already fucking shredded, which you're not, and it just gets in the way.
-Get some proper gym shoes, don't take those same dirty shoes you've been wearing for the past 4 years into the gym, they're disgusting.
-If someone's waiting for the machine you're using, don't panic and start rushing, they'll feel bad and you increase the chance of hurting yourself, and it's awkward.
-If you're done using a piece of equipment, don't rest at it/with it. Vacate it or return it, and rest somewhere else.

tl;dr can you into common sense?

Eat your onions after you go or you wont pass the entry inspection. Also if you insist on not tipping the front desk thot you are in for a rough time

Wear headphones and do your own thing. Also make sure to re-rack the weights when you're done with them.

If you see a water bottle or a towel on/next to a machine and nobody is there, somebody is probably using it still so leave it be.

If you see plate weights on a machine but nobody is there, there is a good chance somebody is still using it. Be courteous and ask anybody near by if they are still using it.

I usually scope out the next machine in my workout before I get there to see if anybody is using it or if some idiot just left weights on it.

Follow dress code. Don't wear basketball shorts.
Make sure you bring cash for squat rack tokens.
Avoid giving any attention to the gym thots.
Priority for using weights goes from largest guy to smallest guy, so be patient and wait in line.

Focus on doing proper form on exercises, watch a few videos on the exercises you are recommended.
Start out light and don't fall for the "too much weight with shit form" meme
Fucking eat a lot of food, track that shit, MEASURE that shit, or I guarantee you gains will be slow, pathetic and awkward. If you come back next week and don't perform better than last time, your diet and sleep was off and need to be fixed.

Don't try and chat with people for no reason. If someone's using the machine you want to use, go ask them how many sets they have left, and if they have many, ask to work in, and then work in (Go for someone who is doing close to the amount you're gonna lift)

Never ever skip a workout. The fucks the point in that? You're just slowing the hell out of your progress doing that.

Set up a routine that you can STICK to, not one that's ridiculous. You need a chunk of discipline (comes from regularly working out) and a chunk of motivation (comes from seeing strength gains and physical gains) to take on a serious, hardcore program.

Don't fucking take rest days.

And, fucking eat enough.

>Talk to no one unless to ask if they're using a particular thing
Lol, your a cunt. Don't listen to him, user... Unless you want to be that anti-social autist who ignores everybody.

>body examination
yikes!

I'm assuming it is weight, height and body fat

>Focus on doing proper form on exercises, watch a few videos on the exercises you are recommended.
This x 1,000,000. Form is your technique for training, do not increase your weight until you have the technique down.

>Lol, your a cunt. Don't listen to him, user... Unless you want to be that anti-social autist who ignores everybody.
Different user, I think what he is saying is don't be that faggot that does 3 hour workouts because he spends 3/4s of his time bullshitting with his gym bros.

make sure you don’t smell, don’t oggle women you faggot, don’t stare at other men lifting, if you need a demonstration ask a trainer of a nice looking bigger, older guy to help you they absolutely will. do not pay for training. do not buy lots of protein crap. do not take pre workouts. do not juice. do not lift with bad form ever. do not give a shit about how big your lifts are focus on aesthetics, small gains and form. your body doesn’t know how to move properly. it took me 6 months to fix my squats and deads, took me a year to even know how to design a regimen for myself. lift 5 times a week for now, do not go under you will get no gains. eat 500 calories over your natural maintinence. stretch after every workout. do abs religiously. your legs and back are more important than your chest and shoulders. your chest still needs development. do not get into cross fit or calisthenics faggotry. do light cardio every day. ignore tanning shit, supps and all that faggot stuff. eat healthy. stop eating fast food and desserts permanently. get used to being hungry and sore. sleep is your mission. ignore people questioning your gains of commitment they’re retarded (i actually have an overweigth friend who used to he an athlete who constantly rags on me and others for lifting despite him putting on 10 lbs every time i see him). Do not come into the gym high or drunk, do not bother women at the gym or avert your eyes when you see them. do not grimace and scowl at women. do not smile at men. do not try to buddy up to people who wouldn’t normally socialize with you, they won’t magically like you because you lift. remember you still have to talk to women and make friends outside of lifting. never spend more than 90 minutes at gyms, its bad for your mind

you might actually have autism

Hey, David here, that's a funny picture you uploaded! mind if I save it to my hard drive?

>decide to stop being a fat useless shit
>read SS
>go to gym for the first time
>squat rack is busy
>spend 5 minutes on treadmill
>still busy
>do some light weight on the pulldown
>it's free
>stand up to start my squats
>4 giang negroes enter it and put their bags in the area
>walk around gym for 5 minutes more
>sneak out when no one is looking
>run home
>cry

Why no pre workout?

If you have a pool I'd go swimming a lot and do lots of abs along with stretching a fuck ton. It's okay to lift but mobility>flexibility>strength. Otherwise you increase your risk of injury. Also don't listen to the personal trainers too much on form. Do research for yourself and learn anatomy so you can properly feel the movements and adjust accordingly. Always put good form over breaking a pr and realize that just because you missed a day or had to hold off for days/weeks because of pain or anything you're doing yourself a favor in the long run. Don't focus on the here and now. Think of where you want your lifts to be 1.5 years from now and don't over do it. I've seen so many kids at the gym doing ss/5x5 and they all of such shit form that doesn't improve none of them make it.

Fuck you. Don’t let those assholes hold equipment then spaz about. Kick that shit out of the way and use any free equiptment.

>Pls no tipping the receptionist, we don't do that here.

move to a first world country you barbarian

>be 16
>decide to lose some fat and get muscle
>go to local gym mom used to go to back in the day
>first day so i follow gym owner so he can train me
>tells me to run on the treadmill
>being autistic i just run in the treadmill until he tells me i ran enough
>he goes away for a while
>been running for 2 hours
>gassed as hell and shirt starts to gain weight from sweat absorption
>gym owner finally comes
>"how long have you been running?You were suppose to run to warm up for the workout"
>mfw couldnt walk the next day
>mfw my shirt made more gains then me

>1 squat rack
get a new gym

At my gym its usually dudes super setting and they normally don't take up the machine >10 minutes start-finish. No reason to be a fag toward them

If they are just going to park their shit there and play grabass with their bros, then sure, I agree with you

Nothing to do but get back up and try again.

Props for pushing yourself that hard. Harness that and you'll make it.

Appreciate the support bruv.

Your gym is full of idiots.

this.

That's why you just get em on the set-finish. They aint got no damn reason to deny you a work-in if they just finished a set, and most people hurry up a little bit if there's someone waiting to work in.

good advice user.

>America
>first world

choose one

>work in
>get ass infection from the seat
no thx

DON'T BENCH WITHOUT A SPOTTER! Seriously it's the only way you can actually die in a gym. If you are too afraid to ask someone to spot you then do dumbbell press instead. But you'll find 99% of people are happy to help you.

Don't listen to random guys offering you advice without checking the advice on YouTube and google. A lot of gym rats have no idea what they're talking about. Same goes with advice on /fit desu.

If you are doing a barbell program like SS I almost guarantee you that you will be doing the exercises wrong at first. KEEP YOUR LOWER BACK AND STOMACH MUSCLES TENSED AND ASS CHEEKS CLENCHED ON ALL LIFTS. Get someone to film you doing the lifts from the side so you can see what you're doing wrong.

t. user who didn't do any of this at first and ended up slipping two discs in his lower back. I'm pretty much ok now two years later.

regarding the dumbbell press, until you're lifting enough that the dumbbells start getting excessively large there is no need to do a barbell bench press at all

I don't understand you cried because someone was squatting?

Autism user.

Also:
The plate dispensers jam easily, so remove the last plate you paid for before getting the next one.

>hurr durr don't do anything
fuck you faggot
why the fuck can't I talk to girls at the gym? I'm not creeping on them

DO NOT SQUAT IN THE CURL RACK

>I'm not creeping on them
they might disagree

>that feel when gym has only 1 squat rack
I've barely seen anyone but me use it though. People are mostly using machines, and benching occasionally.

same here, it's called a commercial gym.

It's the only gym in the town, not like I can go anywhere else.

nobody wants to talk with some thirsty faggot, they're there to take picture for instagram not to talk to virgins

tell me about it user
I live in an urban city and have gone to like 4 different gyms and all of them are almost the same. All of them have 2 flat benches and 1 rack, and mostly full of machines
Plates are old and uneven, and no big diameter 20kg (45lbs) ones
Bars are not olympic (so they weigh less, like 12kg)
Severe lack of space
I have to watch how people throw in the trash their money and time to go there and lift tiny weights for 15 reps in the machines
And I get stared at when I squat 100kg x5 because it looks very heavy to them

>eat at caloric surplus
>get used to being hungry


other than this contradiction, yeah it's good advice