I can't do a single fucking push up or pull up. I'm not even fat. What the fuck is wrong with me?

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This. My parents were good people and they raised me about as well as they could, but they never really encouraged me to be athletic. Better late than never, I guess

you are about to get shit on but I started exactly where you did, and now I weight 175lb and can do 3x5 pullups with 45lb added

getting hazed it just part of the process, we're all gonna make it

It takes a while. I started... 3 weeks ago. I've been at a point where I could do 8 pullups consecutively, and I atrophied to the point where I could barely do 1 *pushup* over a long alcohol-inspired break from reality. Anyway, I have very noticable muscle mass gains, fantastic conditioning gains but I'm still benching 120lbs... yeah. Fitness is a compound return on investment, just put your head down and eat your humble pie.

I’m also 24. 6’1, but 180, and if you put extra 80 lbs on me, I’d be able to do maybe 5 pull ups and I’m in really good shape right now.

Lose weight and you’ll be able to do some

Not him but push ups are only easy if you're doing a few. 30 is respectable for a normal dude. Zero pull-ups just means you haven't trained for pull-ups. Anyone with some training and fitness should be able to do a few.

Post your stripes fatty.

is this the natty limit?

Yeah this is the sad truth unfortunately. Pieces of shit had every opportunity but just chose not to. I fucking hate my parents so fucking much honestly.

FUCKING KEK. I THOUGHT YOU SAID YOU WERENT FAT

>I'm not even fat
this cant be real

>Americans actually believe this

L O N D O N

that isn't me, don't even know who the fuck that guy is

yea sorry thats what i meant pushups is easy as compared to pullups.
i havnt even done pushups for a year and i can do about 40in a row while my bench is at 2pl8x5, but i can still only do about 10 pullups

18 6'1 180ish

Quit back peddling fatty. The reason you can't do a pull-up is because you're basically already doing +100lb weighted pullups

Alright since I got you bullied inadvertently I'll give you good advice to atone for it. Here's what you're going to do:
>Start cutting at 300 kcal below your tree
>start light cardio NO RUNNING
>Assisted push ups, assisted sit ups, body weight squats, maybe inverted pull ups where you just do the down part

T. 55 military push ups 15 pull ups sub 5 minute mile

> trying to back off now

Almost got me fatty

lol kill yourselves you fat faggots.

SeeDon't do the cut, bulk at 300 above tree and running will be fine for you

jeez user we were just having some fun, why you gotta be all shitty & depressing and ruin the mood

I'm able to do an hour of cardio my dude
sorry brah, just saying that you got the wrong dude

Start doing push-ups with your knees on the ground, and work your way up from there. (n-no carlos)

LOL 280lbs. Get yourself in a gym you disgusting fatbody. I don't want to see your face again until you can see your dick

Everyone can do an hour of cardio. What you do and how far you go is what matters.

I use a elliptical. How long should I be doing it then?
that's not me you dumb motherfucker jesus christ

>I'm not even fat

>can do 12 really good chinups
>can't do 3 pullups

for fucks sake

Depends what you run for. Personally I run for work so I do 1,5 miles in under 7:30 and 8km in under 34 minutes but that's just me. If you're running because you want to do marathons go longer, if you're running for cross country or a sport talk to your coach. If you're running for fun just do whatever you like but remember to set a goal.

I run to burn calories. What about that?

distance is all that matters, run further and for longer. Would recommend around 8km and shoot to do it under 35 minutes (eventually) although if you're you don't need to run to burn calories

>tfw could do 3 pullups when I was 120kg

Do lat pulldowns in sets of 8-12 reps until you're strong enough to pull your own weight, and don't cheat the reps. Slow and controlled.

alright thanks will follow this advice. also which do you think is better, treadmill, stair stepper or elliptical?

why not just run IRL?

>Not failing like a fish on a hook while doing chinups

How will you get those sweet sweet joint gains?

I hate cross-shit so damn much

machines tell me how much cal im burning and how much km i ran

You'll burn more calories if you;re outside because of wind resistance. Also you can calculate how man calories you burn running irl by measuring with google maps how far you went and just plugging it into an online calculator.

what if I'm running with the wind? Should I use the treadmill depending on which way the wind is coming from?

idk man, i like using a elliptical. does that make me a soy boy?

Elliptical and biking is better for the joints
Also, runnin on uneven terrain sucks

this

It's meant to suck faggot

>Also, runnin on uneven terrain sucks
do you live in the jungle? where the fuck are your side walks

i find it quite enjoyable, and somewhat romantic, to run at 6am as the sun rises listening to some killer tunes, feeling the wind

who the fuck wakes up at 6 am

Fucking richie rich over here with his perfectly flat mint condition sidewalks

They work entirely different muscles. How do people come here and not know this shit?

this is what peak performance looks like

I'm up at 0500 daily. 0600 would be a blessing.

>Be this user
>Live in fucking fallujah
>Can't run on the streets because they've be sent to the sweet hereafter by american arty
>Can run in the country because of all the unexploded ordinance
>tried to run down the nearest road but fell into a pit of spent shell casings and had to crawl out
>have an elliptical because americans gave us free exercise equipment but didn't unfuck the roads

WEW
Goodbye tendons

>can do 10 chin ups fine
>barely struggle to do 2 pullups

don't blame your parents for your shortcomings faggot, take some responsibility for your life

You probably have a genetic disorder. Either that or your a real piece of shit.

Is this considered child abuse?

No son, that's just called fun. Put him on a stage and charge for entrance and you got theatre.

What do you mean 30 push ups is respectable.

That's like saying benching the bar for 30 reps is respectable.

>I'm not even fat

When I was 13 I couldn't do 1 pushup. At 14/15 I started training them and could do 50 in a row.

I still couldn't do a pullup and started with chinups (couldn't do one so started at one and slowly went down) after being able to do 5 chinups I could do half a pullup and just went from there like with chinups.
After about 2 months I could do 10 pullups in a row if I remember right.

I was able to do just one a month ago

Just try it as often as you can or even keep your knees on the ground

Now I can do 12 proper ones if I try really hard