ITT: Veeky Forums gets me a job

ITT: Veeky Forums gets me a job.

My resume is to the left. Any advice you guys have for me for my resume, any parts I should change, or places I should apply to?

Other urls found in this thread:

ocs.fas.harvard.edu/files/ocs/files/undergrad_resumes_and_cover_letters.pdf
twitter.com/SFWRedditImages

Add some more spacing. This ain't a newspaper where you cram as much as everything everywhere.

thanks user

Hello, Christopher. Your Git is looking abandoned lately.

What kind of work do you want to do? Your resume looks mediocre if you want to get into an entry level marketing assistant job for a tech company.

i'd leave off the amount of your seed money if you're intent on putting your gainz on your resume. i like the part about what you're reading, that was interesting. i would've hired you for that alone.t. former IT manager

>What kind of work do you want to do? Your resume looks mediocre if you want to get into an entry level marketing assistant job for a tech company.

Marketing, my man. I'm not sure what else to do -- just started doing marketing and copywritng for some blockchain/crypto startups.

also, i mainly use my git just for book notes, but I haven't been as adamant about it the past few months -- maybe I should get back into it.

>. i like the part about what you're reading, that was interesting. i would've hired you for that alone.t. former IT manager

Thanks, I'll make sure to leave that in then.

>i'd leave off the amount of your seed money if you're intent on putting your gainz on your resume.

Makes sense --- the only reason I added the seed money is because the returns you get can differ greatly based on seed amount. i.e. I could make 100x return but only start out with $50 and invest it in pump/dump coins. I figured adding seed amount would provide more context.

unrelated but how is majoring in econ/minoring in compsci at UCI? was thinking of doing essentially the same thing when I transfer there

>Your resume looks mediocre

What do you recommend I do then? Getting some certifications? Doing more marketing for blockchain startups/ICOs?

I applied to several different tech marketing positions, not sure if I'll get them. Just trying to get my foot into the door with an internship this summer so I have steady pay.

>I figured adding seed amount would provide more context.
ok, i can see your point. the reason i mentioned it was because i perceived it as a humble-brag

what's up future anteater?

Honestly, it's alright. Econ is pretty easy so far, I mainly did it so I could focus on side projects. I actually went into UCI as comp sci. as my main major, but switched out because it took up too much time and I got rekt in one class lmao. Econ is quite the gpa booster, so hopefully I'll get my GPA up to at least 3.8 by the end of the schoolyear.

To be fair, in a sense it absolutely is a humble-brag. However, I applied to some different wealth management and financial places and I figured it'd be relevant.

>there are people that actually need to make resumes and submit them
Lmao. If Im hunting a job its literally nothing more than meeting at a cafe for 15 minutes before getting all the terms I want.
Feels good to be worth something ay.

>I applied to some different wealth management and financial places and I figured it'd be relevant
ok, then definitely leave it in. they will not see it they way i did. good luck on your future endeavors

That is an utterly terrible resume, I can see you're still young but still that's no excuse. I would not hire you, my recruitment team would not even contact you for more information. Google basic resume templates and tips, and while you're at it basic English writing skills.

Not trying to be a dick, just being honest.

So... some more feedback.

1) Get rid of the abortion of a resume format you have currently. I've attached a modern resume sample. Yours doesn't have to look like this, but you'll be competing against resumes that do (mine looks similar).

2) crypto gains of 7.5x might sound impressive to an outsider but if you held BTC or ETH from January - now you'd be doing even better than that and that's passive growth. You're also not applying for an investment position - so pass. The wealth management thing is nice and in 2019 the market may be different, but for now crypto is sort of a black sheep and (frankly) so fucking easy to DIY there's no reason a wealth manager would need to be involved.

3) Marketing is a tough career to get into and difficult to thrive / survive in. You've had some good jobs as student and are still in some of them, which is solid. Keep working and developing your skill set. To that end, learn Adobe Illustrator and list other software that you've got good facility with.

4) Lower your expectations. With a degree in economics and CS, why even pursue marketing? Just because you want a job? Think long and hard about what you want to achieve when you're 25-30 both professionally, and personally. Understand that career progression is exactly that - progression. You don't start with a mid-career dream job. You earn it.

Speak to your accomplishments, rather than your job functions.

>Not trying to be a dick,
No, just born with one in your mouth.

makes sense. Thanks user.

How much of this is bullshit?

Be honest

It's not about getting me certifications. A weekend spent rewriting the resume is necessary. You're applying for jobs in marketing but can't even market yourself? Why would I, or anyone else hire you if you can't even sell yourself? Your resume should be a piece of art, when I first made one I made menial labour and a paper round sound like some of the most highly skilled and worthwhile careers in the world.

Work harder on this and then try again.

Can you imagine yourself just shilling the fuck out of Link at the Office.

>pops head into cubicle
>Buy Links NOW MOON You have been warned!

>having a meme resume

"Be one who does things, instead of one who is seen doing things".

That resume just screams to me "I'm not exceptional so I have to hide my mediocrity behind fancy infographics and shiny colors!"

None.

thanks for the laugh user.

>I would not hire you, my recruitment team would not even contact you for more information.

Yeah, no. You're a recruiter that probably works in HR. You wouldn't be able to recognize talent if it slapped you in the face

>activities
I'd delete everything under that, seems inconsequential and just there to pad the resume

add some references, person to call or some shit

>>having a meme resume
topkek

OP asked for feedback and help, I gave him honest feedback. If you want a place where everyone pats each other on the back and says they're special then wonders why they live a mediocre life go back to red dit.

To clarify.

What percentage did monthly traffic increase due to your articles? What did your research lead to? How much funding did the whitepapers lead to?

Your resume lacks a little focus. Tailor it towards a specific job you are looking for.

Also, as mentioned before, the formatting. Even in this format, why are you using em-dashes in some places while using double hyphens in other places? Why is Activities sentence case when the rest of your headers are caps? These things are very important. Missing this stuff suggests a lack of attention to detail.

Don't do this. If they want a reference, they will ask you for it. Don't waste space.

>why are you using em-dashes in some places while using double hyphens in other places? Why is Activities sentence case when the rest of your headers are caps?

good, catch. I'm going to update that right now.

That's cool. As someone whose done a fair bit of hiring in marketing and sales roles, this resume says "Hey, I know you've seen a fuck ton of resumes and they all look the same. Here's one that doesn't... check me out!" It also makes for decent conversation during an interview to ask questions relating to the shit the candidate decided to include other than... "so how many procedures did you sell at Bob's abortion clinic?" "Was that over plan?" "How did you hit plan on a quarter when things were looking bad? What did you do?"

I don't include infographics on my resume. Mine looks more like the one included here.

This resume is shit.

He's not wrong. Wording seems weird at times and the template isn't great
That is an awful template. If you want to apply to any sort of large company that abomination will never make it through a parser and will therefore never be seen by any human. Stick to a clean and basic format

If you're not trying to network into a marketing role (where you can email a PDF), you're doing it wrong.

The only time I apply for a job on the website is when HR tells me to after a few rounds of interviews and before an offer. Just went through it in March of this year.

I wouldn't present the resume template I gave for a sales role, but for a marketing assistant role - it is ambitious and offers some opportunity to showcase design talent.

>He's not wrong. Wording seems weird at times and the template isn't great

I'm working on the wording right now. Looking at it now, kinda worried because I submitted this resume to some places but whatever. For the future I guess.

I pretty much chose the simplest template I could find.

Once glance at this resume and I think "reject." Seriously, you need to heavily reformat to make it look nice. The first 5 seconds matter the most.

555-come-on-now

No wonder millennials hate boomers so much

Why the fuck do you have a link on your resume?

>circle of attributes
>word cloud
>percentage based skills
>A QR CODE

what a shitty meme resume. this has to be a troll right lol. theres improvements you can make to your resume but please OP do not do something like this

generally it gets sent as a PDF and you can click on it.

Working on formatting a bit right now -- I'm adding some more line spacing and changing the em-dashes.

I'm not a boomer. You also mismatch case in your bullets. "Write," present tense "brought," past tense. Your bullets points are huge and go one to a new line when it's not needed. Your copywriter job has no location for some reason, but all your other jobs do. Your dates are centered rather than right aligned for some reason. "Activities" has a different font than the rest of the headers. Lots of tiny mistakes like that. You present yourself as a marketer but the way you market yourself is pathetic and sloppy.

OP, theres some decent advice in this thread, and because you want a marketing job (kinda), then I think going for a flashy resume is not a bad idea. That guys thats really flashy is a bit too flashy for me, but I hire analysts.

For any other job I'd say stick with the harvard business resume template: ocs.fas.harvard.edu/files/ocs/files/undergrad_resumes_and_cover_letters.pdf

With regard to what you're looking to do with the rest of your life, I would consider product management. Your background in comp sci and interest in technology should be decent, and theres no one defined path to reach a PM role. marketing, analyst roles, operations, business, engineering, it all can work.

I agree just get your foot in the door at any tech company, and keep learning.

Don't really know anything about marketing desu. As an engineer applying through websites works well when you don't use meme resumes though.

I don't have a location for my copywriter job because it's all done remotely -- I contact people online and write for them remotely wherever I am. It's not one set location.

I fixed the activities section so it has the same font.

I'm confused about why you feel you need to list that you read books on your resume.
Are they books related to the job?

Compress bullet points on less relevant or older experience.
Remove hobbies, especially "muh gains".

put your name, location, & contact info at the top of the resume.

reword the ETH giveaway to say how it was a success. the way its worded sounds like it could have flopped, the reader doesn't really know.

I write notes on the books and keep them on my github, so I thought it might be interesting to show employers those books I'm reading. They're mostly related to business, entrepreneurial type of subjects.

I don't care, write "various" otherwise
it breaks the templating and triggers my autism. Take a look at the aesthetics of the resume here . Then take a look at the aesthetics of lots of other resumes. Then look back at yours. You'll notice the difference.

>b-but the look of the resume matters less than the content inside it, right?
unfortunately, not. people make an impression of a resume in less than 10 seconds.

I do have my info at the top, i cropped it out so I wouldn't get doxxed and have 10 different people texting my stupid shit.

gains are for financial/wealth management places I'm applying to. I'll probably exclude it from other places, however.

rewording the eth bullet point right now.

Seriously? Do you not understand what the word "remote" means?

Ok, I tried. Good luck in your job search. Oh, and when you don't get call backs for the jobs you applied so far, you'll know why.

>last name is unironically DURR
Oh man thanks for the kek.

On a real note, the content of the resume isn't bad, if a bit disorganized, but scrap that entire layout. Fuck. Why are the top 2 sections IN ALL CAPS but Activities isn't? Also
>that spacing (or lack thereof)
>date columns are not fully right-aligned and sits autistically in between neighboring lines
>

Try spelling out the actual names of the months rather than just the number, it looks prettier & more readable.
The quantification in your bullet points is good (43 blockchain experts, within 1.5 months etc).

Might wanna tighten up your action words describing what you did though -
>"Responsible for doing-"
no. Try "Organized and oversaw a 50 ETH giveaway" or something like that.
Focus your resume on what discrete and useful things you've accomplished, not what piddly "responsibilities" you had. This goes for the "Do" technical analysis, and "got" 7.5x returns.

Remove the last 0 digit from your GPA, keep it consistent with the 2 significant figures of 3.7. And do something although idk what exactly, with that education section it looks out of place and confused. I'd move it to the top.

Don't listen to this fag, links are fine and good.

Finally although this format seems over the top, which normally I and many others wiser than me would probably immediately advise against; seeing as you are a marketing major, it might not actually be a bad idea to pull out all the stops and make something flashy like that.

I considered one of those meme templates for mine, and actually used a sexy professional-looking 2-column one until I realized the online resume parsers were butchering it trying to extract all their necessary details, so I made a more traditional & functional but still hella nice looking one, pic related. Judge me if u want.

t. recent grad who spent 6 months out of school trying to find a job with little success until I revised my resume like 4 different times

kek ok. Just like I said, a recruiter wouldn't know talent if it slapped them in the face. If a recruiter is going to decline me because I wrote "remote", frankly I don't want to work with somebody that anally retentive.

also,

got a good laugh out of this one.

we're gonna make it bro.

thanks, by far the most concrete and actionable advice on this thread.

Also

>Saying "triggers my autism" unironically.

No wonder you're in HR

it's nice to see a fellow anteater

I also happen to be majoring in econ. If you're in need of any friends, hit me up.