ITT Veeky Forums owns a gym

I would visit every single off-day just to see that

Mandatory penis inspection day
Tfw no gf posters
Real human bean on repeat

...

MANDATORY AESTHETIC

>Twelve squat racks just aren't covering it. We need to get at least eight more.

>the entire building is one large squat rack with infinite squat racks within it

>Sounds good. We'll take it.

>b-but...g-gym owner? Where are the dumbbells I don't want to squat I just want to tone my arms..

>OUT

>tfw you would be in the pit
>knowing gains can only get you so far

>manlet walks out of the pit
>GET ON THE GROUND
>CROSS YOUR LEGS
>CRAWL FORWARD
>"WH-"
>BANGBANGBANGBANGBANGBANGBAGNAGBAGNAGBAGNGABNGABGNABNGBAGNABANANANAANG

Fuck, I laughed.

>welding to racks at a fixed height to prevent manlet usage

>GROW TO 6 FEET
>CRYING
>I SET START GROWING OR WE'LL SHOOT YOU DEAD
>ATTEMPTS TO STAND ON HIS TOES
>I SAID 6 FEET
>BANG BANG BANG
>CLEAR!!

...

>effective immediately new rules will be implemented for planet Veeky Forumsniss
>No applications submitted by females will be accepted (female(males) okay)
>weekly squat quotas will be enforced. Failing to meet them will put members on suspended leave until a review is completed
>cardio is no longer acceptable.
>grunts must meet or exceed posted standard decibel minimums
>all new applicants must test neuroatypical and be on the autism spectrum

>No applications submitted by females will be accepted (female(males) okay)
(unless they're from London, please be in London)

a-am i allowed in?

There are only 3 rules for the gym:

>No girls
>No clothes
>No homo

no clothes allowed

>your balls must touch the floor to qualify as a squat

no liberals too

This is fucking too much

pol fucking go away

>> “you must be 18 to post here”
The day Veeky Forums ceases to exist

>oh shit, it's the curl police. Quick, say we were just trying to train grip strength via throwing the dumbbells around the air

>for a millennia, the manlet meter had not moved from 5'11
>the long men enjoyed their peace and tranquility in the tall abodes of the gym
>however that quiescent nature would soon be disrupted
>on the twilight of New Year's Eve, right before the yearly invasion of the Resolution Shifters, the menace which appeared as suddenly as it disappeared, the homo powah lifti reported a sudden wave of energy and rumbling that interrupted their lonely solemn nights of unceasing grunting
>taking out their headphones for just one set, they alerted the other long men, and quietly resumed to their timeless task of "strengthus no aestheticol"
>everyone soon came pouring in, eager for good news
>their eyes drew steadily towards the pulsing manlet meter, riveting and shaking as if clawing the oceans for a nonexistent grip
>they'd stood watching in awe, watching the meter rise unpredictably up and down until the clock struck midnight, because they all had no gf and had already excluded themselves from the whims and callings of normal society, as it finally settled on a new number
>5'12
>at first there was silence
>but not for long as the shocked expressions of the long men quickly contorted into fierce demon like expressions of painful laughter, their chortles sounding like a women(male) screaming and choking
>the manlet meter, just wood and machinery, burst open into a flaming energy accentuating the new generation of long men's shadows as they towered over the new sacrifices of the manlet pit, whose shadows flickered and readjusted themselves to the true manlet height of 5'12 despite lifts in their shoes
>the new manlets, trying to make it, desperately sprinted to the exit of the gym to avoid the eternal punishment of the Pit
>lest these fools be chained forever, they had forgotten the old rule that cardio kills gains, and saw their PR numbers disentegrate before their eyes, their gains shrinking as much as their presence had done when near the new longmen

low test not allowed

Fug id have to only go just after I wake up

>leftists
>ever going to a gym

>gym plays some weird mix of black metal, anime openings, and anime ost

>gym marxist tries to redistribute my gains among the DYELs again

Patrician

yeah baby, put some death grips in there and we're golden

>other new manlets desperately tried to snap their legs in hope of leg extension surgery, while others hopped on the dreaded leg extension machine itself, tirelessly pumping until failure to no avail
>one of the tallest of the long men 6'1 picked up the shortest(5'12) and effortlessly hurtled him like a spear down into the 6'1 tall manlet pit
>soon showers of manlets rained into the pit, and manlets of old rejoiced as new kings were brought to them to restore glory
>desperately the new manlets tried to reach over the 6'1 pit, but simply were too short to reach it
>accepting their fate, they relegated themselves in the cruel pleasure of manlet gains offered through the aura of the pit, dreaming of a day where the tunnels could allow him, a manlet, to live freely without the sheer power of the long men looming over him

>enter gym
>s4rl-mtc plays

>le manlet pit xDDDDDD

Can you fucks shut the fuck yup

>Can't squat without getting caught up in the turf war between the High Bar Squatters and the Low Bar Squatters

t. manlet

>no cardio machines, only free weights and maybe a pool

>flooding the manlet pit to make a gym pool

>requiring machines for something that only requires running ability

literally eddit fuck your guys

he already said no women

When will they learn

SHORT GUYS IS PEOPLE TOO YOU FUCKIN DEGENERATE!

WE ARE HUMAND JUST LIKE YOU LANKY IDIOT CLOWNS AND ALL YOU DO EVERY DAY ON FIT IS MAKE FUN OF THE SHORT MAN AND TREAT HIM LIKE SUBHUMOUR FUCKING EMBICILE!

I AM SICK AND TIRED OF THIS PALPIT HATE THAT YOU IDIOTS SPEW AND I AM DONE SUPPORTING THIS BORNDERLINE RACISTS ELITISM AND FUCK YOU

GET THE FUCK OFF THIS BOARD YOUR NOT WELCOME HERE!

>manlets think they're human
lol

>at least 20 squat racks
>a bin with at least 30 loose olympic barbells
>Pull up bars everywhere we can fit them
>20 bench press racks
>gay porn as decor
>a couple land mines for t-bar rows
>hip thruster stations fill the remaining floor space

lmao i just, got here from /b cause my gf and i broke up and i wanted to get fit. every thread ive been has been hilarious so far, no regrets

>death grips
Fking melon what are you doing on fit? Go make shitty posts on twitter.

Even though it's sort of the board culture meme. I can't believe that so many of us do so many squats and deads and so little isolation stuff
You all must be dyel

Thats because 90% of people posting on fit dont actually go to the gym

youtu.be/AsVCIF7o_go

on repeat

I squat and deadlift twice a week and do isolation come at me

Were glad to have you, were all gonna make it

>Not lifting to Takyon
Nigger.

>not lifting to turned off or inanimate sensation

turn back and never return, it's for your own good

I'm too shy to go to the Veeky Forums gym

Keep listening to your monkey noises faggit

No. The Veeky Forums gym would have squat racks designated for curls, as well as curl racks designated for squatting.

>no talk allowed only grunt while exercising

keep listening to your pleb white noise metal crap faggit

> takyon
The fever is way better

>Go into gym, nervous but excited
>Walk over to a squat rack and load up 1pl8
>Squat it but only make it to half depth
>A man in a nazi uniform materializes behind me
>Guten abend, I am from the SSSS, we enforce strict form strictly. Did you go to depth
>Admit I didn't
>He makes me drink a gallon of milk

A mixed bag

>able to gym without shirt
>Instagram fags are banished forever
>Taking selfies while lifting means a judo chop to the neck by Tyron the dumbbell slave.

Kek

I can't hear you all the way down there in the pit. You'll have to speak up

mandatory penis inspection days

>no women
>manlet sacrifice and free manlet warpaint blood given out every sunday
>blood is stored and reheated at 5pm every day until next sacrifice or depletion
>No designated changing room, everywhere is a changing room.
>milk on tap
>armed guards to defend against goblins
>non-stop hard techno with bass so loud that conversation is discouraged(e.g.youtu.be/yQjaYOeYE3M?t=6m15s)
>if people want a spot they have to WAAAAGGGHHHH

50kg plates everywhere, just a couple pairs of change plates
>Lift this or btfo

my gym plays rap 24/7

even 21 savage

Where do I take this test

>NO THOTS ALLOWED

rdos.net/eng/Aspie-quiz.php

>SSSS
cheeky cunt

Anyone check out the qts at the pool?

...

All squats require an unnecessarily close spotter regardless of weight (no homo).

Top kek

>that SS slave is squatting in the curl rack again

TOUCH MY WEIGHTS AGAIN AND I'LL RAPE YOU

Ring bell At 10 feet.

Manlets allowed but you must be a good jumper At least.

When you sign in and scan your id card a random number generator gives you the number of pushups you have to complete that session.

...

There will be a corner of Veeky Forums gym where all items are partitioned for those feeling abit delicate

>sry pls manlet move over to the manlet designated area
>sry pls lanklet move over to your lanklet designated area

Manlet pit
Thot corner

Niggers not allowed

am i a normie?

I'd do something like this.