/SIG/ Self Improvement General

thx guys, thats why I love you so much.

Idk about any studies, but anecdotally having a cold shower before bed and then crawling under the sheets is top-tier /comfy/

Just my opinion, but I'm starting with jeans, solid color t shirts and vans. Looking sharp is cool, but if you want to accentuate your body, there's nothing better than wearing clothes that are almost boring. The key is that boring is actually really hard to hit and doesn't mean what people think it means. A lot of care goes into selecting good quality clothes just so people won't notice them.

what are some PRODUCTIVE not CONSUMPTIVE (reading/vidya/collections/etc) hobbies I can start for under $50?

I saw in a previous thread calligraphy can be cheap to get into, just need a decent pen and paper. Hoping CalligraphyAnons could chime in.
Writing, of any kind: poetry, fiction, nonfiction. You could even do it on your phone, or use free google docs your local public library if you don't even have a computer with a word processor.

Gardening, cooking (like not just baked chicken breast, read pdfs of cookery books like The Food Lab, On Food and Cooking etc), sport (not necessarily lifting eg climbing etc)

Cooking, woodworking, writing, drawing, digital media (not sure if you're trying to avoid stuff that involves a computer), general home improvement, gardening

Help guys, im making a comprehensive list of things i need to do too make my life better, i have already listed all the things i know of like work and stuff that i know needs to be done, but what are some essenial stuff to put on my list?

I'm not at the point where my body is worth showing off. That's another facet of myself I'm working on.

That's incredibly broad user, just stuff to make your life "better"?

Are you in school? Do you already lift?
Do you pursue and talents or hobbies? Do you have a fulfilling social life? Do you have any sort of concrete goals other than "just make life better"?

is the sticky broken? i keep getting this

Well, i have been lifting for 2 years now and have made progress to put on weight (i was 57kg now 63kg), i am currently an apprentice and will hopefully be able to go to university next year.

i barely have a fulfilling social life, all my friends have gone over to abusing drugs and fucking up their own life.

Hard to say without knowing your current life/where you're at. What's your current list?

Some broad categories:
Physical health eg lifting/cardio goals
Mental health eg Meditation, discipline, self awareness
Career eg Goals at your job/to get one etc
Hobbies eg Achieve in what you like, start something new

Once you have a goal set you can make a plan to achieve that. Some might help with more than one, eg- To help my physical goal, and aid with mental health, I will go to bed before 11pm 28 nights a month. But it's hard to say without knowing where you're at, you could say 'I will tidy my room and have a shower every day' or 'I will clean 2 rooms in my house every week' - you have to start at a level appropriate to you, ease yourself into it and build.

Spend time in nature.
Read more.
Drink more water.
Spend less time on the internet.
Meditate everyday.
Make sure your room is kept and orderly.
Eat better.
Make an active decision to interact with others (friends, family, etc.) more.
Exercise.
Volunteer somewhere.
Do at least one thing each day that challenges you or makes you uncomfortable (like writing with your non-dominant hand or sitting in silence when you drive).
Also quit watching Netflix, YouTube or porn.

I don't know your situation, but I'd say don't buy anything expensive until you've hit some kind of milestone (I wanna lose x pounds, I wanna lift x weight, whatever) and then got shopping after you've saved up money. I've dropped a size and now most of my clothes don't fit, so it would've been pointless for me to get fancy before getting fit since I won't know what fits me well until I've hit my milestone.

For now, the best thing for you to do is focus on your basics. No hats, no scarves, no cargo pants, no "accessories". Just buy solid color t shirts, a couple nice white button downs, good quality jeans, some chinos and some plain shoes.

Same, idk whats up

Thank you, really like that last one, i feel like making this list now is gonna make that easier by just looking at the list and doing one of the tasks, then i will feel like i acually have done something to improve myself that day.

Best way to lose belly fat?
Asking this here since I don't think I need to make a new thread for it.

What and said.

Those are good broad categories and also specific things that everyone can benefit from.
As for your friends, you may have to find new friends, people that share your interests that also aren't self-destructive and a risk of pulling you down.
That doesn't mean to cut them out entirely, just know there are other positive, like-minded people out there.

Since you're an apprentice and working toward university, I would suggest focus on your academic/career gains, but not to the total exclusion of having a social life or going to the gym or getting a drink/meal with colleagues.

Money isn't much of an issue, and my current wardrobe is years old, too big for me, and kind of falling apart. I'm looking to get the absolute basics for now.
I probably won't be looking at a huge change in physique, I'm 5'7" 143 pounds, complete skinnyfat. I'm not particularly looking to lose a lot more weight, just improve my lifts, maybe get a bit cut, but yeah my fit might change.

Join a club, or a sport, or ask your friends to introduce you to some of their friends. Try and get together some people and go to a room escape thing, I've heard those are good. If you like reading, go hang out at a library. If you have coworkers you like, see if they share any interests you have and go do something together

The best way to lose belly fat is to lose fat everywhere.
Spot reduction is normie/mom-science.
Eat at a deficit and exert yourself physically

Idk, I'm having the worst time losing the last 10 lbs or so and I'm about ready to give up and just start bulking.

First time at the gym tomorrow lads, doing SS:

Squats 3x9
Bench 3x9
Dead 1x9

Any idea what weight I should start with? I'm pretty skelly.

Nice that you are going to the gym, thats mabye the first real step in improving your general self

i would suggest going light and learning the techinques first of all

Squats: the bar
Bench: the bar
Deadlift: the bar plus trainer weights

For your first time, you want to practice your form, and doing the motions for those sets and reps alone should leave you with DOMS if you're a total beginner.

Best of luck user

Wow I'm almost the exact same height and weight as you lol
Yeah I'd say you're probably good to start buying stuff you really like then. If you've got the money you should go ahead and get whatever you've been eyeing.

That doesn't look like SS?

Weight wise start light, Rip says start at the bar and use the weight that's on as soon as the bar speed starts to slow. Other tips:

Check your form - post here for advice otherwise you may snap
Weigh yourself daily in the morning - I then track using a 7 day rolling average, you can then adjust calories accordingly
Track your calories - otherwise your weight won't change or will go the wrong way
Once you start to stall, then increase the volume/work done, no need to do it too early
Don't force out progression on LP for too long - once you've stalled for a bit, then change routines, don't just try and hit arbitrary numbers

Every bit counts, man. If you cut out your screen entertainment you'll find people a lot more interesting than they are when you're used to the overstimulation

definitely just the bar, if you want you might add a bit on bench after making sure your form is good, cuz its basically a push up.

Cheers lads, I have an overactive trap and my right shoulder is a bit higher than my left, is this going to cause issues? I ordered a foam roller to fix it but it's not here yet.

Funny enough, I don't even know how I reached this point. I think I just begun thinking positively for a bit, trying to mull out the "just shoot me" thoughts going through my head. Figured it was just a meme

I don't even know when it fully flipped, but I catch myself stopping every negative thought right off. If I'm about to think "just shoot me", subconciously it gets interrupted with "nah, you're good". Things like "oh wow you're terrible at this" are replaced with "progress mate, you're doing great"

All's especially funny because nothing really changed much for the past two months, especially with me being at an absolute low before during that time. It's amazing how just changing a way of thinking gets to you. Heck I can barely relate to the feels threads anymore. Fuck me man. It really does get better

so guys what should a man know as a standard not in just terms of fitness
>>hobbies
>>skills
>>creative pursuits

for me
>>hobbies
guns, starting to read more philosophy

>>creative pursuits
trying to learn keyboards and maybe draw

>>skills
programming for now along with what i learn in nursign school

I'm addicted to porn and masturbation

tried nofap so many times. honestly I feel like having no internet is the only way at this point

What app does Veeky Forums use to track calories?

I know this feel. If you can control how you react to what the world throws at you, you control everything.

>nursing school

L O N D O N

Do noporn before you do nofap.
The key is not trying to go cold turkey. Try limiting the time you can watch porn, then the days. Then slowly try only 1 fap/day and work your way down from there.

But yeah, the internet doesn't exactly help things

This faggot is wrong, the only way to stop is by going cold turkey. You don't need to ween yourself off of porn like a heroin addict. Grow a fucking spine and quit.

I spend around 2:30 hours on public transport each day + lot of idle time at work.

How can I use this time most efficiently?
I already have a book with me & use Duolingo on my phone.
Any other useful apps or things I could start doing?

He just said he tried that lmao you're right that's what he should do, but slow progress is still progress.

I only do cold showers before bed in summer time (don't have AC). Makes it much easier to fall asleep when it's hot.

Outside of winter, I finish my morning or after sports showers with a minute or so of cold water.

i currently have a school task that needs to be done, its fucking easy i know but my mind just fucking rejects it.... fuuuuuucccccccc

sorry man im a dude

but all my classmates are qtgrills so that's a win

Programming

Anybody here tried Maca powder? Years of being a shut in autist and now i cant get hard with real life girls. Im trying to fix my sex drive as it currently only works for pictures and videos

>Although there isn’t anything to cultivate, the key is to keep cultivating.

Whats everyones thoughts on vidya? I get quite obsessed I feel so I've kind of cleared my PC of them all so I can focus on college and lifting. Anyone done anything similar?

I got by this by leaving my PC at home when I went to uni. I also found that you must also be able to replace that time with something else - reading, cooking, meditating etc. Tbh my life is much better now that I don't play it. Some people get by by limiting themselves, but I know that if I started I wouldn't stop, so I just don't start at all.

deleting steam off my computer was the best decision I made in undergrad. I have friends who clocked over a thousand hours in shit like fallout or CS, and it literally makes me sick to think of wasting that amount of time on something so completely pointless. You tell yourself its just entertainment, no better or worse than reading- but the difference is that if you read 100 well chosen books you'll get hundreds of perspectives and exposure to countless new ideas. play 100 well chosen games and you probably won't have any experience that makes you even consider changing the way you live your life, aside from playing less games

My mindset on any sort of entertainment (vidya, movies etc.) is that it's a completely fine thong to enjoy. It's not damaging on its own. However, every time I think about doing it, I think to myself: Is there anything more useful I could be doing? And 100% of the time there is. Basically, don't divide your time between "improving yourself" and "taking a break from improvement". It's all a single package. So if you can play vidya without thinking that there's something better to do, that means it's fine to play vidya at that time.

Reading

Opinion on learning the guitar?
17 year old- will be going to uni.

delet this post, underageb&.

Yeah I feel like that. I go through a phase of purging it then saying I'll limit it, but it just goes too much.

Nice to hear it benefitted you in undergrad. When you put it like that, 1000 hours is wasted. I always know when I launch a game I think I could practice programming now or read a book. I think thats what i need to start doing

My mind always ponders on better thing to do when gaming, i got a bunch of things im interested in trying

thanks siggas, appreciate the advice

How do I learn how to start a conversation lads?

I'm pretty decent at talking to people, especially when I'm drunk, but I just can't approach a random person/person I haven't spoken to on a party and start talking. I have no idea what to say.

About to start learning Japanese.

word to the wise- go cold turkey. I have a friend who tried the slow method and it turned out like shit for him. he bitched and moaned about how much he wanted to quit, joined a reddit support group, installed programs on his computer to limit the amount of time he could spend gaming, and at the end of the day he still wastes time on it at every opportunity. pull the bandaid off user, you'll be thankful you did in about 4 months

the key for me is to remind myself that I'm not a piece of shit, and that my internal monologue is interesting and that people will enjoy being included in it. how many times do you think "wow, thats a fluffy fucking dog" but keep walking and not pet the dog? tell the owner he has a fluffy fucking dog and pet that sumbitch

Literally just talk about the most surface level shit possible. Talking to new people is stupid and everyone knows it, so just ask people questions that you know they'll have SOME answer to and you'll be fine.

>"Lovely weather we're having, isn't it?"
literally just means
>"I'm talking to you now, maybe in 5 minutes one of us will say something interesting and a real conversation will start"

>chilling with friends
>everything is cool, joking around, talking to this one girl
>one fucking guy makes me angry with a joke
>go butthurt and take it personally, not talk to anyone til the end of the day

I need to stop this. Any tips on improving my frame? I go 180° in a second, I can instantly go from being the soul of the party to just angrily sitting there and listening to people talk.

Read the book How To Talk To Anyone

It's not just inane bullshit, it's actually quite effective. Among a lot of other things, you'll learn that conversations can be started with literally just about anything

Gonna need a more thorough rundown. What triggered the anger specifically?

How do I get swole arms... Or just swole in general without roids. What frequency should I be hitting my muscle groups with. Been training for 4 months now on SS, and I'm seeing nothing. No change in anything. It's shit. What a fucking waste of my time. As a matter of fact, without this self help thread. I'd probably be on bb.com...

I had a cheat day on my keto, 2800 calories, 250grams of carbs, 140of fat and 135 of protein, i've been strict to my diet since august, how fucked iam?

> uni life sucks
> depressed as fuck since term started
> literally just want it to be christmas so I can spend a month fucking around with my friends and having fun holiday times
> still have finals this week to get through

motivate me to study lads

I was asked about something actually serious and replied, got "dude I don't care" back and a laugh. What made me mad is the fact that I know he did this only to impress people because later he fucking asked me about it again and wanted to talk

But I have this problem with everything, if I don't approve of something or someone and they're annoying me I go buttmad and close up.

literally a dangerously addictive pastime. I can trace most of my problems back to being a fucking video game player. it's a seductive escape from your problems, which prevents you from actually dealing with them. shit fucking ruins lives, deleting steam and selling my gaming rig was the best decision I ever made.

vidya should unironically be 18+ and have mandatory warnings about this shit.

>I saw the best minds of my generation destroyed by fucking glorified toys

knitting

> b, buh that's for women!

Literally no one cares, especially once you start providing them with awesome scarves. Also men have historically knit.

I know the feel. The only thing getting me through uni life is the 10% of the time I spend back home with my real friends. I lean on music to keep myself sane during the semester and keep my head in the books.
This time next week I'll be home. That's a great comfort for me.

I'm gonna leave my job in January for a new one.

Before leaving I'm gonna ask out a girl at work I have a crush on (18), she started 2 months ago and we banter really well. I next see her on Tuesday.

It's been 1.5 years since my last date (I'm 19) so tomorrow after work I'm gonna scout the city centre for a suitable place for a date (small-medium sized cafe/restaurant), buy some cologne and a new jacket. Then finish off with the gym.

Tuesday is game day, the schedule says she'll finish at 11pm while I finish at 12am, before she leaves I'll strike up a conversation in the staff room (most people will finish at 10pm, so good chance she'll be alone) with her then ask ''Hey will you be free on xday?'', find a day she is free, '' Ever been to x cafe in town? Mean either but I'd love to go there with you and try it out''. If yes i'll get her number so I can text the location.

Any improvements/tips?

Not very, calories are about averages. Get back into the diet and you'll be fine. Might feel like shit because of the carbs tomorrow though

I'm on a fucking awful course at an awful uni but the job prospects are worth it and i'm in the final year. It's a struggle though.

I actually have a hard time having fun with vidya anymore. Everyone's different. But in general you're right, the potential for abuse is there.

I feel like that too sometimes. I guess I normally frame it as, "man, I'm glad I don't have whatever insecurity this dude is displaying to me rn." In my head people's problems hurt them way more than they hurt me, but it does get annoying. If it's big enough, it's ok to call them on it and it'll give you advantage in the situation if you do, but you better have something ready if you do that and in any case it's normally it's not so overt.

It depends on the situation, but if you'd rather have said something, I think it's ok to go with the emotionally honest answer of "why do you keep bringing this up, I already said I don't care." Honestly if managed properly, anger can be an excellent social tool. It livens the discussion and gives it stakes, and if you don't sperg out or make it your defining character trait, you can capitalize on it.

If you want something relatively inexpensive get some Lacoste Essential or Blanc. I always get told by girls on dates that I smell good, especially with Blanc.

Sounds suave as fuck user, only thing I might tweak is to ask her to go with you directly instead of saying that you'd love to go with her. But that's nitpicky, just let the conversation happen naturally and it'll be fine.

there is always something better you could do, whatever you do.

Quit 43 days ago full on. Uninstalled all my games and removed Steam

Life's gotten better, a lot better. I wouldn't have done many of the things I would have now if I still had Steam. Granted, still improving, but one step at a time eh? I plan on hitting up Steam once more next year once Vermintide 2 comes out, as I've been friends with a lad on there since I've started(7 years!), and I'm wanting to be with him once more. Shit, hardest part wasn't even uninstalling everything and saying goodbye, it was giving the man a call and half explaining half breaking down on that this might be our last week together
If I worry I'll be addicted once more though, I'm not getting back

I ended up losing interest in them
>recently re-downloaded Viscera
>realized how much time I was wasting
>friends created a Minecraft server
>build loads of shit
>ended up realizing how much time that took me that could have been spent doing more useful stuff.
I guess it's fine from time to time but all in all it's a time waster.

How to take my mind off ex?

It's always in the back of my mind, especially if I'm thinking about approaching someone new

plz halp, hobby ideas? how to keep my mind busy when all it wants to do is ruminate

literally just distract yourself. don't be idle for a second of the day. then in a week or two you'll realize you're over it, or at least over it enough to move on.

>pdf cookbooks
never gonna make it

only acceptable answer is starting a business.

I thought you guys wanted to be alphas?

if you have a running business that you live off already then do whatever the fuck you want lmao

get fit
maximize your appearance and hygeine
start a journal or private blog so you get to know yourself
start attending some form of social thing youre interested in even if the other people there are spergs. Just dont let them rub off on you if it interrupts your appearance/hygeine gainz.

srs

only thing a man needs to concern himself with is not being a dickless bitch with women and especially with other men. Whether that is apparent confidence or quiet confidence doesnt matter (Hint, quiet confidence comes AFTER being skilled at recognizable confidence.)

after that do whatever the fuck you want.

men do not play video games or watch TV, if they are involved in those two spheres they create the games or movies, not consume them.

...

nah you'll be fine
Your noob gains will last 4-5 months so you've got plenty of time

Hey, don't shit talk cooking, it's an essential life skill. But yeah becoming an entrepreneur is the greatest thing a man can become.

>Hint, quiet confidence comes AFTER being skilled at recognizable confidence.
This.