Hook up at a Music Festival

cuck. why would you leave? the right answer is you fuck the chad she ran off with in the ass, and then drive home without her.

I didn't get laid, but the only music festival I ever went to, I was making out with 2 girls at the same time after 10 minutes of being there. also watched them suck on each others tiddies.

>Incel Coping: The Post
"I-I d-don't even w-want to have s-sex, I-I'm t-too s-smart for that, he-hehe."

Oh brother, I meant hookup women. Not gfs, thats suicide

Easy as fuck. Just don't be autistic and let nature take its course.

It's pretty easy if you're handsome and in shape.

For real though, the only STI I’ve caught in a long and sordid career was from a festy girl. And she got it from a new agey festy guy. Do not fuck dirty hippies. Thank you and have a great week.

If you must, bring tons of drugs. Molly, coke, L, meth, in decreasing order of likelihood to hit paydirt. Everyone has weed. Learn that pseudophilosophical and ego-affirming new age lingo. You’ll be rolling in it. And getting that dirty, reeking hippy puss in no time.

Holy hell this post is salty. Sounds like you were cucked by somebody who can get high without having a panic attack lol.

>going to a music festival, when you can have a molly orgy in the comfort of a house

have fun listening to shit music with retarded people and sleeping in the fucking dirt, if you don't go ham on drugs with team nosleep

>dude still drives her home which for them was 200 miles away
holy shit how cucked can you get. bitch can catch a bus

Making out with a friend?

Or a jab

...I don't know, OP. Do women magically change after entering the gates of a venue?

Unironically, yes they do.
Music festivals are like The Purge except sex instead of murder.
On a related note, new evidence suggests human DNA is closer to bonobos than chimpanzees.

I’m sensitive about this culture because I bought in (and had fun) but came out the other side disgusted with how hypocritical, self-serving and regressive it all is. But thanks for calling it out, I obviously have some issues to resolve.

Being interested in a hippie is the international sign of "cut back on the drugs, you're way too high, nigga"

>hypocritical, self-serving and regressive it all is

I sometimes hang out with hippie scum because of the friend I get my shit from, and this is pretty obvious from the second you meet these people.

You're not wrong about hippie culture being hypocritical, feel-good trash but psychedelic drugs are, without doubt, the future of mental health/science. Children abusing tools don't discount their efficacy.
Maybe I have an axe to grind too, friend.

Or both

Oh no doubt, psilocybin and LSD have brought me to heights of genuine empathy - and motivation to not be a lonely aspie - that I never would have gone to without them.

It was such a shock to me when I saw all these “vegan”, society-condemning, “enlightened” individuals loading up on hard, hard substances that do so much damage to themselves. It’s so impossible to have a connection with someone on molly or cocaine. They’ll “feel” a connection, and they will probably fuck you, but it’s such a selfish high.

Word of truth.

touché

I had you pegged wrong. Maybe Veeky Forums's generally militant straight edgyness has jaded me. The 2 front smear campaign, from Jeff Sessions and candy wearing drug dealers, on psychedelics irks me to no end.

I went to a lot of Black/ Death Metal festivals and concerts around 10 years ago. Haven't experienced easier sluts than there since. Fucked everything between a 2 and a 9 with no more effort than having shoulder lengths blonde hair, being taller than average and not buying into 'metal culture' regarding clothing.

I call bullshit. I was big into the same stuff around the same time. All the girls looked like junkies or landwhales. If you fucked anything over a 7+, I want to see pics or it didn't happen.

Norske?

>Impossible to have a connection to someone on molly

>Literally used to fast forward trough months of therapy in a few sessions, used to cure alcoholism, used in terminally ill patients, used in fixing broken marriages

ahh yes, i always look for the girls wearing the one piece tube dresses that fail to keep their tits and ass covered with the printed "i

So you're saying that they become less child-like as well as less driven for money, looks and other status-driven elements?

hm. I guess you learn something new every day.

>Humans are more closely related to bonobos than chimpanzee's

That makes sense for men but not women

I would start driving her back home and drop her off alone a few miles in.

Uhhhh, no? IDK how you got that from my post.

The death of polyamarous sex in humans was our downfall. Once, you were a father figure to the tribe's children and watched after them all because any one of them could be yours and it didn't matter to you. Then, you became just your biological children's father and decided to say "fuck off" to anybody outside your 4000 square foot junk container on your 0.65 acre lot.

I like MDMA. I think it has a lot of potential to help people. But there is still a difference between therapeutic doses and rolling every weekend telling stangers your whole life story and never talking to them again after.

This. I liked MDMA at first but then felt like I cheapened the empathic earnestness. LSD with a m8 you know well is GOAT.

Yes, easy as hell.

I was a virgo in HS. Went to a music festival senior year and landed a qt there, despite being an autismo. It was so easy I couldn't believe it, she even invited me a week after the festival to come and stay at her place for a few days. Went from having never fucked to feeling a total Chad. Also helped me lose some of the autism and score chicks later on.

Just bring the condoms desu

>drop close to a grand on festival ticket, a hotel room, and booze/drugs for ~5 people
>cross your fingers you don't get caught with coke in your shoes
>prowl around the stage, fishing vials of powder out of your sweaty oly shoes and offering them to sluts
>(you are 100% the only one at the festival with drugs btw, so they stay with you)
>this whole time you're yelling directions to the afterparty at passerby over the music
>sluts and randos come back to your room "for the afterparty" (actually to steal more drugs and leave)
>realize you've spent an enormous amount of time and effort to /maybe/ fuck a festival slut
>realize that a quality escort could offer you an experience far better than trying to get your cokedick hard and jam it into a sloppy drunk slut
lol

>spend three days submerged in a swamp of abercrombie cologne and the incessant thrumming of derivative beatzzzz just to dip your wick in a puddle of other men's semen
never understood this scene desu

"Heh, na, I'm not a shut-in or an incel, it's just gay unless she's a virgin because another dick has been there, that's all. If you're a Chad, such as myself, she'll show you her hymen at the club. "

Do you know what a vagina feels like that had already been ejaculated into? It's slimy in a very unpleasant way, and the semen in combination with the vaginal fluid, for whatever reason, eliminates texture and friction which makes vaginal sex feel nice.

Nigger, nobody is running fucking trains on bitches at festivals. That shit literally only happens in porn or scheduled orgies.

>Once, you were a father figure to the tribe's children and watched after them all because any one of them could be yours and it didn't matter to you.
More like, you would be a father figure to your "own" children (which in reality would be Chad's children).

The point was you wouldn't give a fuck whose they really were because in a polyamarous society, everybody gets laid plenty. You'd just give back to the community that welcomes you back instead of restricting your tribe to your driveway.

Yeah, hooking up with complete strangers when you're surrounded by hundreds of drunk / high people with nothing to sleep on but an air mattress (if that) in an unsanitary tent standing on muddy ground without the ability to shower sounds like a fabulous way to catch any number of nasty diseases.
For God's sake, do you people even think before posting?

That sounds like heaven, you fucking fairy. Consider men.

jesus fucking christ dude what's wrong with that cuck?

>so starved for pussy he will literally guarantee STDs and infections just to get laid
Have fun with that, dude. I hope your fucking dick falls off -- whoops, too late.

You can incel cope in your diary. Keep your faggy feewees off the internet.
You may now cry in the corner.

>calls me an incel
>literally fantasizes about fucking in some of the most unsanitary conditions imaginable
You just CANNOT make this shit up.

>t. guy who doesn't know thinks bath salts is 'molly'

You are conflating living as a community because that's the sensible thing to do in hard conditions of primordial societies, and not knowing who your children are. Do you think animals don't know who their children are, is that new alpha male kills off previous alpha's offspring? "Polyamorous society" sounds like a myth perpetuated by those poly faggots.

Bonobos literally live that way, IDK what else you want.

>have the self respect to not fuck festival thots
>get called incel

sure is reddit in here

Bonobos is a very specific species which socializes via sex, no other primates live that way, and there is no indication that we lived that way, ever. Do you feel the urge to fuck someone in the ass after fighting him? Here is your answer.

Quit copeing for your wasted youth all over my shirt, samefag.

Hey, Satan, I'm just saying, society is pretty fucked. I don't think we're risking much by trying to up the cohesion factor.

Literal nigger

>going to festivals to fuck disgusting thots

All of you fucks need Jesus

Went to a festival this summer, ran into a chick from my faculty and she blew me in one of the porta potties. Probably would've had sex but I didnt have a condom and wasnt risking it.

Overall 6/10 would do again if I was hammered

Just find some on Tinder

>self respect
Is THAT what the incel calls it?
This is some advanced copeing.
Don't worry poor incel, fucking 16 year old pussy next to her dripping friend would probably make you feel guilty. It's not for everybody.

lmao get a load of this virgin

this t b h
>wanting to fuck thots at a fucking festival instead of getting a cute innocent gf who will love you for who you are

pathetic

I was at lolapolza last year at the final show for the first day.
It started pouring so it was ended early, everyone had to leave.
On my way out, huge line to leave, girl behind me wraps her arm around me from behind. She lean up against my back. Rubs my stomach
Shuffle through the line like that for a bit.
She let's go and I go home.
Prob could have turn around and put my arm around her and bring her home but I was with my gf who was standing in front of me and wasn't facing me

Jesus fuck I cannot write. How am I in college

Just check her for the herp before you start
>inb4 it's not that bad
Keep telling yourself that ya disease ridden reprobate

>delitized Pepe
Now I've seen it all

No actual adult would consider doing any of that
It's just kids being dumb what do you expect?

I mean, modern science says you're wrong but u inb4ed so I guess I have to ignore it now?

Do you know how evolution works?

>society is pretty fucked
Get the fuck out of here with that le wrong generation shit

My main fear and no matter how many fests i go to and how much I love them I will NEVER take a s/o unneeded stress and bitchyness if everythings not perfect. Last thing I want to do is be wandering around at 3 am trying to find my GF when shes either getting medical attention or riding cock

>Not camping at a festival
>Never gonna make it

>sure honey, lets go home and talk it through
>shit, lets get some gas, i need to pee
>as soon as she gets out of the car i take off and let her rot in a gas station

depends on the party bro, if there are campings its super easy to fuck if you're smart about it, also being lean and having a 6 pack help on festivals too, after party are cool too, specially because everyone is super high and wanting to fuck on LSD and MDMA that is super cool though

kek, why do you want to go through all this trouble to bang some chick at a music festival that is 99% rolling on drugs when you can just go to a bar or club and have a way easier time for much less money if you know what you're doing? I don't get the attraction of trying to fuck chicks that are drunk/stoned out of their minds, I prefer the satisfaction of having actually succeeded rather than getting lucky and "tricking" some chick into fucking me because they're inebriated. all of this is even more true if you're in college... throw a costume party or something.

GTFO with your boot-licking.
We're the first generation to KNOW, not wonder but know, that we are killing our planet.
It is now unassailably true that we cannot live as we do for more than about 3 more generations without causing irreparable damage to ourselves.
Subconsciously, we hate what we are and this knowledge is causing us to act out.
Gimme an angry (You) about how I'm some hippe faggot or whatever.
I know this, you know this and that's all I need.

Easy as pie

Just about everyone is ready to smash

>implying its hard to get laid on a festival full of sluts high on drugs
you just need drugs, a tent on the festival and a dick to fuck festival sluts, i've gone to about 4 or 5 festivals with my friends, i don't even like edm that much but horny girls always make it up for the okay music 24/7
>keep some beers on my tent along with my weed and mdma
>drinked couple beers and aproached a girl that was starring at me
>we danced for maybe 2 minutes
>i kissed her and we made out for couple minutes
>"hey, i'm going to my tent grab some beer and smoke a joint, wanna come?"
>she said "sure, let me tell my friends that i'm going there"
>we smoked a joint, talked a bit, fucked and we're back at the same spot
>i'm now looking for my friends
>see really hot and pretty girl dancing on her own
>start dancing next to her
>light another joint
>she is starring at me
>offer joint
>after the joint we make out
>"hey, i have some mdma at my tent, wanna go?"
>sure, why not
>we go there, take the mdma, smoke some more and fuck for about 1 hour
repeated it another time on the same day, the next day was almost the same but with more drugs

have you ever fucked a girl like a pornstar?
no?
i though so. qt's don't indulge into degenerate sex.

remember user:
>daddy issues are best issues.

Bonobos are confined to a isolated geographic pocket and evolved unusual social habits to cope with the inability to escape people they don't like.

You have the whole Goddamn planet to wander instead of 69ing the guys you can't stand to try and make nice.

Chimps don't know who their fathers are either, but that's because they evolved zero female sexual selection, but brother co-operation between closely related males, instead of single male harems like gorillas.

It's why they have big balls and tiny dicks, they don't need to please the female, they just need to flood her with sperm.

You have a large for body penis and small for body testicles because, from an evolutionary perspective, you will be at least serially monogamous with a woman who is allowed to choose her mate.

Your physiology proves that you are not meant to live and love like a bonobo, a chimpanzee, or a gorilla. Your ancestors abandoned those reproductive strategies over 6 million years ago. You are meant to take a mate who reciprocates your affection and have a reasonable expectation of her fidelity to you. This is written in your DNA and your anatomy.

The demands of developing a human brain require the kind of parental investment that this mode of living can provide.

In bonobo society, no one cares about the infants but their mothers, and they do all right, because they don't have to grow, or be born with, a human brain. Human society can't work like that unless there are very complex economic systems providing for the children in place of their fathers. Systems that are only a few hundred years old.

heavens child, I hope you used condoms

desu this kind of makes me want to go to one of these but I'm not into drugs

this is just the right mix of broscience to be passable

Living like bonobos won't fix that. Besides, the bonobo social structure is contrary to the evolved form of the human body. What will save humanity is expanding beyond our home planet and technologies developed to allow this. Space based power generation, substituting carbon neutral chemical energy storage fuels for fossil fuels, the kind of highly intensive farming that you can do indoors if you have vast quantities of cheap and clean energy, massive trash recovery programs to reclaim wasted resources, space based metals extraction, global prosperity reducing birth rates in the third world, and massive great power wars when directed energy missile defence makes MAD obsolete.

>this is just the right mix of broscience to be passable
It's current orthodox hominid social theory.

Well good luck with that mid-resource war.
We need to change yesterday.
I'm not saying we should live just like any extract ape.
My original point was that the societal suppression of polymorphic sexual behavior has less genetically "legal" basis than you might believe.
Conciousness needs to be addressed.

>music festival
>music

We might as well just call them what they are: pleasure domes. The music is just there as the backdrop--everybody is either there to get high, fuck, or both. There's no genuine appreciation for the craft.

This is correct

>mid-resource war.
Global resource war is never going to happen, innovation will provide resources more economically than going to war for them.

Every Hobbesian doomsayer throughout time has been wrong, that record isn't going to change now.

I'm sorry my dude but break through science doesn't just magically occur because there's enough economic incentive. I do agree that nuclear states will likely hold off direct clashes but this system of manipulating and coercing and killing the 3rd world to maintain culturally-enforced lifestyles that have no bearing for anything but appeasement to the super wealthy. I'd rather take an extra hundred years to get to Mars than let Zionism and banking cartels and IMF slavery continue.

>appreciation for the craft
EDM barely qualifies as music