Gym Autism

Literally me

Oh hahaha, a quirky “random” American trying to be quirky and random online.

Hahaha, omg holds up spork

describe a situation where you could possibly make a gym partner or new friend. Also, I don't know about you guys, but the gym at my uni no one ever works in with each other. So, I'm ruling that out. Maybe ice breakers like:
>Manlets when will the learn
>Make sure you go all the way down to get the full ROM
etc...

> Scope gym, identify bro who is there so often he's almost a permanent fixture
> Wait until he takes a break.
> Walk up to him, drippingautism.png
> "Hey bro, can you show me how to do that?"
> "No problem bro! I'll meet you in the locker room in a bit. Do you have your own knee sleeves?"
And just like that you've made a lifting buddy. He and his friends will keep an eye out for you after that.

Truly the patrician choice

...

Can someone please explain to me why people don't want to work in with me? For example, i'll need to use a certain machine, see someone that is currently on it, and simply walk over and ask if I can work in with them. They usually get flustered and say 'yeah you can just have it, i'll just do something else' or something to that end. It's like im pissing them off by asking them to simply share the equipment or something, I dont understand.

blow chunks as in you vomited after a heavy set or literal shit chunks blasted through your shorts and onto the managers shoes?

Talk to people

meant for

i was blaring shitty edm and struggling while benching and screamed "DO IT PUSSY" with like 3 people around me but at least i finished the rep

You just reminded me that some kid threw up in the gym today. Didn't make it to the bathroom so he blew chunks all over the floor. When I went in to take a piss he was lying on one of the locker room benches moaning "too many scoops"

Been staying at parents and go to gym in NoVa. Qt receptionist is super friendly always smiles at me says it’s good to see you again. Being autism I say good morning (sometimes I sleep in and still say morning even when it’s 2 pm) and scan my key without looking at her
She probably is only being nice because she thinks I’m retarded but all my moms friends tell her that I’m very handsome

>insulting other people
>forcing your critique onto other peoples form

yeah this is good good man yeah nice epic try asking them 'hey you work out here?' when you approach people too

He pulled a gun on you for farting?

I seriously grunt DALE with every somewhat strenuous rep now. Thanks for the autism, Lenny.

Checklist:
> Are you DYEL?
> Then why are you using machines?

The resemblance is uncanny

Basically, it's annoying to have to talk to some little spazz that wants to lift like Daddy. For you, the polite thing to do is do a different workout until the machine is free. If it still isn't free then run into the locker room like a coward, sit on the toilet and check your facebook for an hour until you think the machine may be clear. Also, change your clothes so people won't recognize the little shit that was wandering around earlier asking every single person if he can "work in with them".

Wouldn't you?

Every time I fart while squatting I start laughing so hard I have to bail the rep.

im sorry to hear this. just made me sad

At my uni gym, I am totally cool with letting people work in and even encourage people to work in when they ask. But when they grab plates in plain sight and encroach, or get aggressive and try to ask in some faggy-ass intimidating voice about how many sets I have, I simply look em in the eyes and say "I don't know" or "leave". They get pretty pissy and stare me down, but don't do shit.

Was military pressing one day, saw two scrawny and pale dudes who were basically a Veeky Forums meme. Hitler youth haircut and the other with a manbun, pube beard on manbun guy, receding jaws, balding badly, deathly pale, comically skinnyfat. Both had on tanktops and wore gloves matching their running shoes. The skinner one was pizzafaced and literally had on a Rick and Morty tanktop. I am autistic especially about putting plates away properly and rearranging plates faggots have put away incorrectly. I saw the Rick and Morty tanktop faggot repeatedly put plates away wrong. I already didnt like him given how he had spat on the ground twice and was giving his friend who was noticeably stronger than him meme advice.

I look like a chad, but I'm the biggest autist.

Walking out of gym after doing shoulders/abs sesh, pass chad bloke who works at gym, he says 'cya mate' i muttered 'bye' in the most faggy accent.

I called him out and simply said "Dude seriously? Youre making a mess. At least put your plates away properly." Had him five minutes or so later walk up to me while I was resting on the seat for the MP rack and try to puff his chest out. He said in a high pitched voice "Hey bro, who the fuck do you think you are? Talkin all that shit about stupid motherfucking shit like putting shit away. NOBODY fuckin cares dude. Fuck you. bro youve been there for 20 fucking minutes, get the fuck out of there and let other people use it." I didnt even get up too quick, but I stood up and did get in his face. He jumped back and almost fell over.

Pretty calmly asked him what he thought he was doing and why he was acting like a woman having a period. Told him he shouldn't be trying to act like a big guy especially when he couldn't even overhead press db 30's for more than 5 reps. He started getting loud again, cut him off and actually told him to get his test levels checked. He actually got extremely offended and it looked like he was tearing up. They went off to other parts of whatever meme routine they were doing. They stared at me every time we were in the weight room at the same time. Word got around, noone cared; people already knew I was an autist. Staff thought it was hilarious and didnt care when they complained.

Kinda weird. Feels like something that should be made up.

Basically what i did except i blew chunks all over the managers shoes

You go to the XSport bro?

It's okay, just something to work towards overcoming.

shouted fuck pretty fuckin loudly at my gym when my knees hurt too much to use hamstring trainer right

>blow chunks as in what it means literally every time its used or as in this other definition because

>not wanting to wait for retards to get finished with their 10 sets of 100 reps on the lat pulldown machine
>ask them to work in so that you can continue your workout without screwing up your routine or wasting time
>somehow this is a bad thing

you wanna know how I know you dont lift

>never step over the bar, always walk around it
>load up weights one on each side at a time
>never clip the bar until i have all the weight loaded on both sides

>accidentally leave a clip off during a set tonight
>purposefully leave the other side unclipped on the next set
>"""jokingly""" think to myself "don't wanna get muscle imbalances, now"

Not sure. I would let you work in except if I was doing 3-4pl squats or something similarly demanding to set up.
You're right, they're wrong in this situation.

retard alert, holy shit.

no idea. Every time I've asked someone "hey man you mind if I work in" they're cool with it. It's weird to not be ok with that