Wake up

>wake up
>shower
>get dressed
>you begin to feel the need to poop

That's why I wake up much earlier than necessary and drink lots of water and coffee before showering.

Yeah coffee and chilling for that sweet sphincter relaxation. In desparation dark chockolate (and tobacco) also work.

I usually avoid eating before noon but sometimes based on my schedule for the day it's necessary, and that definitely helps move stuff along. Also, squatting. Just hold a deep squat for a little while and I guarantee you your bowels will be moving.

>Showering in the monring
>Not before going to bed

Lmao you guys must have sex on regular basis, I can't find any other reason to prefer taking a shower in the monring rather than at night.

Also:
>Not being in full control of your digestion

Then go shit

What am I missing?

They are the kind of guys who take their clothes off for a shit / take a shower after every time they took a dump. Probably have terrible diets and nasty shits that take them 20 minutes and another 5 minutes of wiping.

If you got shit on your hand, would you be okay with just wiping it off with a bit of tissue?

How the fuck would this happen under any normal circumstances? Use more toilet paper you filthy fuck

So you'd wash it off your hand, but you're happy to wipe your arsehole with tissue and go on about your day. Really makes you think.

>he doesn't use wet wipes

this

Then his boyfriend can't eat is asshole before e heads off to work.

Unable to compete with the thoroughness of a shower.

>t.bluecollar worker

I used to do that when I was manual labor. The patrician choice is obviously to shower twice a day.

>wake up
>shower
>get depressed

This. You assholes live in the first world. Act like it.

showering twice a day is veery bad for your skin.

>t. Hippie

>wake up
>get depressed

>Get home from gym
>Turn on shower
>Let bathroom steam up
>Take giant shit while browsing Veeky Forums

It's my favorite time of the day, barring none

Dont remember if i have pooped yet today

>not sitting on the toilet ass naked for 10-20 minutes while the shower steams the bathroom up, taking a shit and using the shower to clean you ass instead of wiping it with a dry piece of paper

It’s like you people don’t know how to enjoy life

>shower
>wake up
>get depressed

>spending 20 minutes shitting
Sounds healthy.

I literally do this too senpai

when i shit it's either squeezing out tiny farts for 20 minutes b/c i'm nervous about leaving the house and my anxiety triggered my stomach, or i'm just sitting around doing nothing and it hits me and i run to the toilet barely making it and shit for like 5 seconds before it's all out.

Not using a Japanese toilet that anticipates your approach, presents itself with a heated seat, then steams and massages your butthole when you finish with a robotic tongue and ends with a waifu voice saying "Arigato senpai!!"

>wake up
>take cold shower
>scream until I acclimatise
>shit in the shower
>kick down drain with my heel
>snort 5 lines of PWO
>get out of shower
>don't even dry myself
>run to gym completely naked
>have best workout ever
>run home with massive erection

You pussies need to get on my level

>wake up
>poop
>workout
>shower
>need to poop again

>scream until I acclimate
Mein Sides

>Poop before working out
>No matter how much I wipe and how clean the TP seems to be, I still end up smelling like I shit myself, especially if I'm doing diddles or squats
WHY
GOD FUCKING DAMMIT

>he doesn't wash his hands
I bet you wouldn't brush your teeth after tossing my salad, would you faggot?

jesus, i dont even touch my ass when i shower

i push my finger into my POOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOP

>not starting your day clean and refreshed
>showering and then immediately lay down festering in your sweat and oils for 8 hours
kys

>no toilet paper
>holding shit in until I leave for work

Enjoy your mold problems

just don't use cleasner dumbo

I shit for about 30 seconds and then sit on my phone for the other 19 minutes and 30 seconds, retarded nigger

>practicing keeping your asshole open for extended periods of time

>shit every morning after waking up, shower
>shower before going to sleep

I shower at a minimum 2 times a day. If for some reason I’m not regular and have to take a midday shit I clean my ass in the shower. If I’m going to be having sex I usually like to be shower clean too

>he would wipe shit off his hand with a wet wipe instead of soap and water

Kys my dude

Learn to drink coffee.Literally a laxative.
I get two lungos with breakfast and have to run to the toilet at exactly the same time every day.

>I shower at a minimum 2 times a day

RIP your hair and skin

>>wake up
eat breakfast
poop
>>shower
>>get dressed
fixed

do you live alone?

>He doesn't own a bidet
I feel sorry for you