where do i start? do i make an ad on craigslist? i want someone who does all the annoying shit in my life for me. can i pay them in just tips ? do i have to pay them like 2 bucks an hour plus tips like waitresses? i want someone to run errands for me, give me foot/back massages, get a beer from the fridge for me, etc. is there a legal process to do this? do i have to pay taxes or some shit? official hiring forms? (w2/w4)
help me out fellas ill send ya some coin if you give good advice
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That's called a servant or a housekeeper, and only minorities would want this.
Dont they have maid services for this.
Just go to asia and they have live in maids for like $400/mo. I think you can only get one though if you are a family, couple/married. Im not sure if they still allow single men to hire them. Asia and the middle east has live in maids down to a science.
>not having a manson with separate footpaths between the walls so you dont have to see your filthy mexican servants
Try Venezuelan Refugees.
Dude just buy a bride
i want to pay them next to nothing. like $50 a week tops. i just want a few things done. no more than 10 hours a week. i want some hot college aged girl with no job or someone who works at kroger bagging groceries and needs extra cash
Make an ad on craigslist. as long as you're normal and pay them I guarantee you'll find a personal assistant in less than a week.
wont i get scummy nasty bitches with aids on craigslist though? what section do i even post that shit in? i made up a thing on notepad of how to advertise it. tell me how it is:
Looking for some extra cash as a college student or just some extra money to supplement your current job? Now hiring a part time personal assistant. Nothing sexual, not looking for an escort. Must be a clean, good looking female, all ages will be considered. Send bio of yourself and why you would be good for this job (include weight and height) to *********@yahoo.com and attach picture(s) of face and full body (clothed) to apply. 100% of earnings are tips. Hours will vary week to week. Duties can include anything from feeding my pet to running short errands to giving me a back massage. Must be an open minded person. Must have own transportation. ALL Holidays off. Will work around your schedule.
>hot college aged girl
>working for $50
I hope you arent in the US user. A hot college aged girl could get $50 just for posting a pic of her feet for feetfags or $300 to stand at a convention booth for a day.
Are you in a big city? How about TaskRabbit, you post what you want done, people apply, then you just accept the hottest one.
>come massage me for 30 minutes
>come clean up after my dog
>go to the store for me
Apps like that are big in like LA and NYC. They also have tipping added in.
Yeah, people would love working for Scrooge McDuck
Why would you post this on craigslist
Find a business that specializes in this
You'll only get nasty girls on craigslist if that's who you pick. I would say that $50 a week isn't enough to lure that kind of attention though. Or at least not for 10 hours of their time. Most tip based jobs average $20 an hour in the US.
nah i can find them
they already do when they work at mcdonalds lul
Nouveau riche right?
Its as if they don't know you can pay around 20k for a prostitute.
Such a girl could stream on a platform like twitch and get $50 donations every 10 minutes for having a webcam. OP is autistic or something and does not understand basic human motivations.
this isnt most tipped based jobs though. the tasks are going to be cake as fuck. grab me beer. make my bed. sweep the carpet, etc. a lot easier than serving at a restaurant
I actually just did this. Minus the weird massages and foot-servant hand me a beer stuff. I assume you want a personal assistant and not sex slave. I used Craigslist.
Just make a list of all the sorts of stuff you'd have them doing and put it up in the ad. "List of tasks could include, but is not limited to..."
Interview people like a formal job interview. Think about who you can trust, who pays attention to detail and who can follow through and work to solve problems.
You inform them they'll be paid as contractors and they have to take care of payroll taxes and other liabilities. Create an employment contract and you're good.
I pay $200 a week for what we've defined to be around 10-20 hours of work. I'm in a suburban area in the south though, you'd probably need to pay double or triple that in NYC or CA.
But seriously, don't get some sex servant. Get a good personal assistant, then get a mistress. Very unlikely someone would be top notch as both.
you obv dont understand how dumb some girls are. they work at fucking WALMART you think they know how to make money? i have over 2 million USD but i only have to pay them crumbs and they will do what i say
It's called a "girlfriend". When you find this girl, it is inevitable that you will also want to fuck her.
and how am i supposed to get a girlfriend? what the fuck do i look like, norman mcnormie?
try freelancer.com
some i-cant-wait-to-become-a-slut sold her virginity for 2,5 million to some arab businessman
you think they'll scrub your dirty ass legs for even half of that?
It's amazing all the little shit you need done. I already have maids clean my place, but there's still all sorts of niggling stuff.
Currently she:
* Fetches mail, Amazon shit
* unboxes puts away new stuff from Amazon
* Throws away Amazon boxes
* Puts away dishes after maids wash them
* Unpacks bags
* grooms my dogs professionally
* plays with dogs, checks on food and water
* calls maintenance about various bullshit
* takes car in for service
* returns items I've bought that I don't like
* completes bullshit forms
* Drives me some places (ie airport)
* sells shit I don't need
It's interesting how much she saves me on net. Like I'd pay $70 to have my dogs groomed professionally AND I'd have to haul them out and pick them up from the groomers- instead it's all just part of a weeks worth of stuff.
Or I tell her "go get my car detailed". Normally if I just looked online it'd be $100. Instead she took the time to research a place and it was $60. There's a lot of shit I'd just toss, but since her time is worth a lot less she can spend 10 minutes listing the item on ebay/craigslist and I come out ahead.
>you think they'll scrub your dirty ass legs for even half of that?
i think they'll scrub my dirty ass balls for 1/10000th of that if they're willing to work at mcdonalds
Look nigga.
I deal daily with people who are literally starving to death and cannot get them to work even if it kills them.
You don't understand how hard it is for someone to take a fucking job you are ramming on their throats even if you paid them 10 times what their current job pays them.
exactly. i have so many things that need done and im too busy/lazy to do them. personal assistants are a must.
actually have hired personal assistants. 90% will be shit. Be ready to fire them and give them very limited access to accounts/services. Be extremely explicit on what you want. Empower them to get shit done but give them a cost limit, say 25% over what you estimate it will/should cost is ok without bothering you. you'll eventually find one worth keeping forever
Make an ad on craigslist
> they work at fucking WALMART you think they know how to make money
That's exactly the mentality of how you want a personal assistant. They think about doing a job, for someone, for money. Since they haven't thought about getting extra degrees or making connections they're totally limited to Walmart and basic restaurant and service jobs. They might not be super creative, but they pay very close attention to detail, so if you ask for something a certain way they do it.
you must be a retard. where i live people are begging for cash everywhere and willing to do anything for it. idek what the fuck you're talking about. im going tomorrow to every min wage job and gonna give hot girls my # to see if they wanna make extra money. its gonna be easy
Please come back and post results.
Maybe its a cultural thing then.
i will. and ill post what she looks like
>pretend to be rich on an anonymous mongolian cheese pizza appreciation forum
>want a young hot girl wandering around me all day long
>I'm rich but I won't pay shit lol Xd
>TIPS and not a salary because burger
>can't behave around women, let alone a young beautiful serviceable woman
>end up in court for sexual assault/harassment just because I tried to tip her so I can grab her by the pussy like my idol.
> loose all my fictional money to settle the case
>browse craiglist to find a job because I'm broke
>get tipped to death by an abusive employer
or
>pay peasant under the table to get my shit done no questions asked
>the end
Rich
Wants 2 buckeroos an hour quality...
You aren't rich mate. You are clearly fucking poor. I'm only six figures and oldfag @ 35yo and pay my personal assistant a paltry 20 per hour. Foot and back rubs... Man... Unless you are in Asia you are delusional. You are basically a hobo Weinstein. Good luck with your rich 'life'
>implying you only want your boring stuff done by someone else
Why do you want a female?
Why do you need her to be young?
Why do you need her to post her weight and size?
Why are you afraid of her STDs?
Enjoy being the next Weinstein
This. OP , unbelievably, is an even bigger faggot than usual. Probably such a loser he sets the bar this low for his larping. What a fucking knob. We can only hope he reads this and has a strong enough blade to Sudoku Himself
i'm rich because i'm cheap. even to this day i still eat super cheap and live super cheap. i don't like spending money, that's how i made it this far. and i dont even really consider myself that rich. 2m is nothing. the reason you're six figures is cause you don't know how to manage money. you are wasting your money on some shitty assistant. they aren't worth crap
poorfag detected, enjoy your cuckdonalds job tmrw
Depends what you're asking. Lots of people like minimum wage jobs because they get to stand around in a nice air-conditioned room all day and take an order, bring out a tray, and do some very light cleaning.
You should be prepared to pay more for jobs that involve discomfort. Not a lot a lot. But maybe 20-50% over minimum wage. You'll also attract more competent talent. But still go to people in those minimum wage jobs.
Also project a sort of mystique. One of the reasons why personal assistants are personal assistants is that being close to rich important people makes them feel important. You don't have to be wild or reckless, but just having them sort of "involved" with your lifestyle makes them excited. Like "go buy me a bottle of moet/dom"
You'll find you want people who can take initiative to get something done when you tell them rather than needing to be guided through every single thing every time.
Dude I mean I'm worth (lol now $8 milli just checked blockfolio). I consider myself pretty fucking cheap for what I'm worth.
But you do have to pay a little bit more for a quality person. A lot of fucking minimum wagies can't even pass a drug test. They've got criminal records. All sorts of bullshit. Presumably you're going to have these people buying shit for you and carrying around a credit card.
If you hire a virtual assistant you can get an ungodly amount of shit done from someone in the Philippines if you pay them $8 an hour. But they're working remotely so there are real limits to that.
When I posted my ad I got one butthurt email from someone equally salty and jealous:
If you are not doing the job what makes you think anyone else wants to do it especially for SLAVE wages. At least you can offer a decent salary for this crap work. From the description you sound lazy and spoiled and your are probably just a mean person who want to demean anyone doing this crappy job you are calling an Assistant. Why don't you just change the title to "slave."
Meanwhile I got over a dozen resumes in a week. Had someone hired in two weeks.
Best of luck to you man. You seem new to money though. There's a very particular relationship you have to have with help. Be nice to them because they can seriously fuck your shit up.
>>sudoku himself
>>wikybrew.com
>>tfw he's going to puzzle himself to death