Bros I messed up hard and I worry it's going to ruin my lifts
>Be college freshman in 2014
>Date absolute qt
>We break up because she drops out and moves away after a few months
>It's all on good terms and we stay in contact
fast forward 2 years
>I pick up lifting
>Use her as my motivation like a complete sperg
>"If I lift one more plate I'll get back together with her one day"
>works great
>lifts are going up nicely
>we even make plans last summer to hang out again
>motivation is through the roof
>she cancels last minute
>feel like shit
>lifts are shit for the following 2 weeks
>eventually recover
fast forward to now
>she tells me she is in my old hometown quite often now
>wonder why anyone would want to go there because it's an empty shithole that is pretty far from where she currently lives
>turns out she is dating someone from there
>it's a guy I absolutely despise
>gut-wrenching feeling intensifies
Bros how do I get over this as fast as possible and learn to "lift for myself"?
Getting over heavy feels
By dating/meeting other women
You can't fucking start an advice thread include a fitness word and make your relationship bullshit board relevant.
Stop taking to her. Stop thinking about her. And stop fucking posting about her. She doesn't give a fuck about you.
STOP TALKING TO YOUR EX.
Hey man.
There's a lot of inspirational quotes that you've probably heard that might help, but dont fully cut it for you, like:
>For every pretty girl, there's someone out there who is sick of her shit
>Plenty more fish in the sea
And various other quotes trying to steer you away from one-itis.
And they're all correct, but its much easier to regress than reform and improve. Personally, as i've gotten older and have broken contact with the women i once liked and loved, previous girlfriends, etc, the snapshot of who they were (when i knew them) slowly began to become sub par as i improved. If you continue to keep in contact and follow her movements and progress, sure, she might still continue to be cool compared to how you see yourself, because she is improving too. But, only because you see it.
But thats just the thing, man. A huge part of being a man is identifying when there are limiting factors in your life, and cutting them out, despite the pleasure you get at the thoughts surrounding it. Be at ease though, because it really is a skill. It's your willpower. It sucks man, and dont make it a 'thing' where you send a message stating all this stuff about how you are breaking contact. Just slowly break contact. Never allude to it. Never talk about it. Never open up to her why. Just slowly fade her out of your life. If you message her some long paragraph about it, thats just an attempt at getting a reaction, and i think anyone who has ever done something like that knows it. So dont do that.
Start improving THIS part of your life. Work that willpower muscle, start gaining some self-respect and knowledge that one day you WILL find someone that fits where this girl once fit in your mind. Hey, you her after meeting probably 500 women. Just gotta meet 500 more to find the next one, and im sure you're digging into that number everyday, user.
Given you are on Veeky Forums you’re probably an autist that’s obsessed with females and any form of attention from them. You’ll just have to let time do its trick and in the meantime use that hatred,that gut wrenching anger to fuel your desire to pick heavy barbells and put them back down
>Work that willpower muscle, start gaining some self-respect and knowledge that one day you WILL find someone that fits where this girl once fit in your mind
Thanks user, will do
>you’re probably an autist that’s obsessed with females and any form of attention from them
I've been with other girls since and have a pretty normal sex life
Surprisingly good advice in this thread, especially
I know how badly it sucks, but you really need to find it in yourself to move on, OP. Focus on yourself, truly find that place where you're improving for you and nobody else
It's really more about the lifts and how to find new motivation than about the girl.
Then why is it all focused around her?
You know why people say it's stupid to lift for women? This is why. Lift for yourself. If you don't want to, stop lifting.
Second long term relationship of my life is going downhill like the first one. Exactly the same symptoms .
>Everything was perfect, fucking almost everyday, perfect body, etc
After a year
>Everything like before but she is gaining weight and we are only fucking once a week and I feel like she doing it only for me.
With my ex I always thought that was her fault but now I am not sure anymore maybe is something that I do.... I tried to talk with her but she always says that nothing happen.
What do I do?
No,is not cheating on me!
Talk to her about it, and next time ask on the correct board.
What is she saying exactly?
i always turn that sadness into anger towards others and rage against the world. Especially good for benching and other pressing exercises
I always timed asking girls out with a chest workout, so I'd be using my energy to press heavy instead of obsessing and being sad
This
First of all, you need to cut contact. Delete her number, block her on fb. You sound like an orbiter.
Next, you need to hate fuck another girl. Just pick up some 5/10 off Tinder.
Finally, you need to quit being a fucking fag and just inject some test-e/c. I've noticed only low test fags here on Veeky Forums lift because of women. Breakups can be a great motivation... for a month. But discipline is what carries you to the next level.
I have tried and she said that she is like this and that I don't have anything to worry about.
I can't live knowing that she fucks me every now and then only to make me happy.
Then break up with her. What the fuck do you mean you "can't live "?
Sorry, is an expression from my language, it means "I can't cope"
Sadly, I think it is going to end like that.
I am not really the right person to give advice, but whatever:
Don't fuck her at all or acknowledge her body. Make her think you are attracted to other girls without her understanding that you are trying to make her jealous and paranoid that there might be a second girl. Keep this up until she throws herseöf at you to get your attention
Again, my relationships are terrible and so is probably my advice
One of the best advices I've seen on Veeky Forums
Especially
>A huge part of being a man is identifying when there are limiting factors in your life, and cutting them out, despite the pleasure you get at the thoughts surrounding it.
Realizing and fulfilling this is one of the most painful but rewarding things
This. Women are manipulative. You can be bitter about it, but it's just how they are, often they don't even realize it. Sooner you accept the style this game is played, the better. Then you realize, that you have to play the game aswell and this is one of the most frequent things men do. You start shittesting women as they shittest you every day. If she throws herself at you, good. If not, onto the next one