My son, I love you dearly and you are very special to me, that is why I have chosen this deal to propose to you

>My son, I love you dearly and you are very special to me, that is why I have chosen this deal to propose to you
>You will cease your efforts at self improvement and become a basement dwelling Veeky Forums lurking neet for the next 60 years
>And in exchange I will grant you a special place in my kingdom with a haram of waifus and husbandos
>What say you?

>keep away old man
>you won't fool me
>you and your history won't rule me
>you might have been a father but admit you failed
>I'm not affected by your blackmail
>you won't blackmail me!

God wouldn't want me to be a no life neet with no hardship in his life.
However If God did request it, I would have to obey.

>However If God did request it, I would have to obey.
King-of-all-cucks detected
>2018: falling for the Invisible Sky-Friend meme
You're stupid.

>god
y'all niggas sleep as fuck

fedorafag d e t e c t e d

Explain please

Fuck off cloud nigger!
Its still my mother fucking set!

wwjd

I know your tricks Yahweh-Sama
They won’t work on me.

A HARAM of waifus? ...and instead HUSBANDOS?
Do I look gay to you?

No, you give me a HAREM of waifus (and I have some special requests for them, like retractable dicks, but we'll talk about that later).

I unironically lift for Christ.

Harem of waifus better be of the Muhammadan kind, if you catch my drift

Jesus helps me lift big. That swolly ghost. Mr. God is one hardcore motherfucker you think he is entertained by fapping new age degenerates? It takes some gnarly shit to entertain him. Like he's probably laughing right now at some retard trying to get a Fleshlight pregnant. Look at that little nigger monkey gambling for money. He doesn't realise he's gonna lose it when he dies. You cannot distort my beliefs.

Muhfuggen BIX NOOD! Cof bin dub ho muhfugga

Piss off Yahweh, Odin said I will never reach Valhalla if I don't have the right amount of gains.

start with the kybalion

Fuck off god, I'm not going to waste the only life I get for such a shit reward. Now, for 72 sexy female virgins I could be convinced that waging holy war is worth being a martyr for.

>abandon lifting
>haram of waifus
Fuck your trickery and degenerate shit, I only have one true waifu and you are not among the gods I lift for.

>harem
>not being true to your waifu
Absolutely fucking disgusting

>mfw

eh it would be a trap or trick shit, i'm pretty sure that both a divine being and the biblical god would prefer his creation to strive for self improvement and reaching his full potential rather than be complacent. someone wasn't taught the tale of the talants.

>God not wanting you to improve
>"Haram"
>Pagancucks come out of the woodwork
oh man

What if the harem was just multiple versions of your waifu?

God, I have never prayed to you before. I have no tongue for it. No one, not even you, will remember if we were good men or bad. Why we bulked, or why we cut. All that matters is that a DYEL flexed against many. That's what's important! Gettin mired pleases you, God... so grant me one request. Grant me gains! And if you do not listen, then to THE MANLET PIT with you!

>Implying you are even capable of understanding the motives of God

>and husbandos

miss me with that gay shit fag

Hah.
It's funny because there are never-ending versions of Artoria.

I never thought I'd be worthy of a shit-test from God himself but I'll pass.

When God offers me to sit at his right hand I'll be letting that cock sucker know he is in my seat.

>haram of waifus
That's not how it works you dumb piece of shit. Get off my anime website

God, thank you for the offer, but I'll have to decline. No amount of effortless comfort and pleasure can ever be as satisfying as working towards the goals I aspire to, and to know I got there by my own efforts.

what is she from she looks familiar

Tatsumaki from One Punch Man

: falling for the Invisible Sky-Friend meme
>You're stupid.


Except in this scenario he's not invisible, you have literal proof of his existence.

This pretty much.