Walking down the street with your girl

Destroy him with my superior speed and agility.

Ask if he'd like to have a go on her with his Big Bloat Cock

ask if he wants to join me for walking training

>you may have strength and muscles, but they limit your speed, therefore this fight was decided before it even started

Run circles around him.

LIVE IT
ALL ABOARD THE BLOAT BOAT

n-nani?!

Give him a quarter and whish him luck

E-Seylamu Aleykum Bloat Abi

lel

Hes done walking training, no way youll escape.

>Throw gf at him
>he starts to zercher front raise her
>Try to run
>He is walktrained
You cant win against him
Completely mogged.

Get mogged and see if I end up living through the experience.

...

me on the right

Nothing. I accept my mogging.

Is there a more peak ideal than bloatmode?

Damn, mogged in every conceivable way...

Jog away at a leisurely pace. If he decides to use his very-dangerous-over-short-distances dwarf mode sprint, plant a foot into his chest. I may get knocked back but his momentum + mine will separate his sternum from his ribs.

>Try to explosively outwalk him
RIP sides

>Jog away at a leisurely pace. If he decides to use his very-dangerous-over-short-distances dwarf mode sprint, plant a foot into his chest. I may get knocked back but his momentum + mine will separate his sternum from his ribs.

It's pretty reasonable. The one and only fight i've ever been in I won the same way. The guy sprinted at me and I planted a foot in his gut and he fell down and stayed down. And it doesn't take any special medical knowledge to know that the sternum isn't hard to separate from ribs. It happens all the time in CPR which applies a lot less force than a side-kick planted on the chest on a fat man sprinting at you.

Salute him, cuz they are bros irl

How focused was your harmoon?
Did you need to engage your demon powers?

SHKLSHLKL SHKLLHSH SHSKLB ALLAH SHKSHLB SKHLB AKBAR!

...yes.

ask him how his twin brother is doing

WHY ARE HIS ARMS SO SHORT AND LEGS SO LONG NEVERMIND HIS BODY MASS INDEX :0

>ARMS SO SHORT
>LEGS SO LONG

optical illusion

Do this, but with a candy bar

stick a pin in him and laugh as he blows away

S-SAUCE
I need to know who this semen demon is

...

legs are longer than arms

>It's pretty reasonable. The one and only fight i've ever been in I won the same way. The guy sprinted at me and I planted a foot in his gut and he fell down and stayed down. And it doesn't take any special medical knowledge to know that the sternum isn't hard to separate from ribs. It happens all the time in CPR which applies a lot less force than a side-kick planted on the chest on a fat man sprinting at you.

giggled

I can't believe everyone fell for this poorly photoshopped lardass

bump because bloatlord

I don't live in America, we don't get those

Is that a racist tattoo on his right shoulder?

No its a christian cross

Think your next move carefully my friend...

That's kinda what I thought but wasn't sure. Grizzly doesn't strike me as the racist type, seems like he'd approve of a person of any race so long as they embrace the way of the bloat

Shake his hand and tell him he is internet famous.

>Confuse him with a salad.

u slag

>walk past bloat lord
>h-hello
>bloat lord goons come out and me and girl get kidnapped
>find myself in abandoned warehouse
>bloat lord takes face covers off me and girl
>bloat lord unties me and forces me to fight in front of girlfriend
>I get broken like batman in dark knight rises
>I lay on ground as bloat lord yells at me calling me little man and throws girlfriend in car and drives off to have his way with my girl
>tfw all the lifting, drinking gallons of milk, and starting strength and marks coaching videos didnt make me stronger

not a chance

>He uploads the video of him using his signature zercher front raise to break your back
>He skyrockets to world fame
>Your body is folded in half
>This demotes you to mega-manlet status
MOGGED

implying you can walk past the bloatlord. a simple sidestep from him would force you to do a complete 360 turn to get past his mass.

...

die on the spot

I whip out my pokeflute and my gf sings a lullaby.
He enters a soft and restful sleep and wakes up a few hours later feeling peaceful and refreshed.

bump

how do i avoid bloatmogging?

serious replies only

>2 TV dinners with each meal,
>10 meals a day,
>3 protein shakes with 2 twinks in them a day (these are snacks ofcourse, they don't count as meals)
>Zercher traps for your fans at fitmisc
and the obvious one
>LIVE IT

Avoid any and all bloatlord encounters. He will always mog you.

You can't

Idk probably ask for a selfie or an autograph or something

Pull out my pokéflute

i was like is that brain shaw... and then i was like oh no its a fucking bloat toad.

Guys do you think it's true that he is 185 cm like he says? He looks short but that's probably because he amassed mass.

>try
key word, you don't TRAIN walking

>find bloatgod on instagram
>expect his comment to be comfy and meme filled
>it's just a bunch of normal fags shitting on him and calling him fat

REEEEE PROTECT HIM Veeky Forums!

he's definitely at least that

holy fuck

>turn around slowly, making sure to keep him in your line of sight for as long as possible without accidentally making eye contact
>begin briskly walking in the opposite direction
>hear this youtu.be/H9xnpLQRs5g from behind accompanying the sound of perfectly trained 200kg+ footsteps
Is there literally any escape?