Asking here because it's the health board. What's way to prevent dingleberries...

>my ass leaks a little hours after I poop sometimes

>not having one of those things that shoot water into your ass
Americans

a bidet

This.

This. IF you don't want to invest in a $35 installable bidet thing, you can just buy baby wipes. They do a great job of cleaning your ass. In fact, I'm going to go get some right now.

you smell rancid even before the workout

>but my ass leaks a little hours after I poop sometimes.

shave your ass why the fuck do people ask stupid fucking questions

i likes ya and i wants ya

Shave your ass hair once a month with a disposable razor. You’ll never fucking go back. No more dingleberries, no smell, no mud butt.

Plus if your gf is into rimming you she’ll thank you.

Also, regardless of how clean you think you can get your ass just by wiping, you should be showering after every shit you take as a basic rule, apart from when you’re at work.

>ass leaks
I know that feel

Just use a detachable shower head

Does the same thing

Or squat in the bath near the tap

I can’t stress enough how important it is to not just wipe, you CANNOT get 100% of the shit out of your ass.

And where exactly are you from? Oh wait, I don't know any other countries nor do I care to learn any.

hey hey where'd you get that pic from

Never in my life have I heard about people not being able to keep clean downstairs over here. Where do you fucking people live? India or Africa?

this. i still use toilette paper and the finish up with the baby wipes. works good you can feel how much cleaner your asshole is

>I can’t stress enough how important it is to not just wipe, you CANNOT get 100% of the shit out of your ass.

Here's my question for you guys. Most of the time my shits are solid and relatively hard, and I really like it like that because cleaning is easy as fuck, it's like wiping dry and gets clean very easily. But other times, it comes out terrible, soft, sometimes burns, and it leaves reside that I have to keep pressing and blotting instead of wiping and then literally have to fucking nearly finger my asshole with soap and water to get clean even after 10 wipes. And even after all that, sometimes I have to go back later and there is still brown on the fucking paper

What the hell is normal for people? I know that even with dry shits you're still gonna end up with at least scent remaining behind, but I have to imagine that if people have softer shits and only use paper to wipe (like at work or something), its stillgonna be disgusting back there

t. swampy cornfield, flyover country, Estados Unidos de América

hey dumbshits, "flushable"wipes are not fucking flushable. they dont break down and join to form massive balls ruin sewer systems. they only call them flushable because they can literally flush down a toilet

wait lemme guess
>hurr i dont give a fuck its not my problem

>bidet
>wax your asshole (surprisingly doesn't hurt much)
>wet wipes
>laser your asshole (haven't tried it but I hear it's over quick)

Any of these work well.

i am too scared to shave my ass. not just the shaving itself and cutting myself there because im doing it blind, but ive heard thaat the hair is there for friction reduction (like how your armpits have hair) and if you shave, it becomes so prickly you can barely walk, sweat accumulates in there and your cheeks start sliding really uncomfortably back and forth

Yeah you shouldn't do it, it's actually unhygenic

Hurr i dont give a fuck its not my problem

hurr i dont give a fuck its not my problem

how do grills deal with it then

None of this is true. Shaving your ass has its pros and cons, but people who claim that shit happens are fat and/or unhygienic. The real cons are as follows:
Day 1
> If you shave against the grain,your now ultra smooth ass with feel glorious to the touch, but by the end of the day there is slight discomfort
Day 2
>Irritation and razor burn begins. It isn't awful because it isn't in contact with clothes, but moving around alot can cause it to sting a little
Day 3
> Irritation mostly gone but hair is growing back in. This may come day 4 or 5, but my hair is fucking fast. This is where you can feel the prickling people bitch about. Not nearly as bad as they say.
After the prickling stops there is no discomfort until it grows to the point of pre shave. It isn't that bad, and the more you do it the less it hurts, which isnt much to begin with

So what the hell are we supposed to do? If you take a shit somewhere that you can't shower/bidet, say at work, what do you do? Get your finger wet and rub it on your asshole, maybe with soap, and then use more toilet paper?

What if god forbid you're at a bar/club/party and take a shit there and then pick up a girl and go to have sex and you're sitting there with a non 100% clean asshole

i have no idea man. that's why i wonder, like, are girls assholes always perfectly clean since they usually dont have much/any hair?

It's the fitness board, the health part was removed some years ago

Fuck off

Let them have a swamp in their toilet

>this thread

I just alternate between wiping with dry then wet TP. I don't feel like the baby wipes work as well and leave a soapy residue

I shave mine every so often so I don't get 2 inch long ass hairs that I have to try to wipe peanut butter type shit out of, but it actually is kind of gross in the early stages of growing back when there is no hair at all. Your ass crack will just be slimy from sweating and might actually smell worse because there's no hair to wick away the moisture.

>my ass leaks a little hours after I poop sometimes.

You have fecal incontinence from getting ass fucked

what about scissors instead of a razor

also how the fuck do you shave your ass, blind? just put a razor back there and pull towards the outside?

I just pull one ass cheek apart with one hand and use a razor and kind of shave in a direction going from the asshole. Then do the other side. I've never cut myself even using a safety razor

You'd be more likely to cut yourself or stab your asshole with scissors, and you couldn't get close

Just use nair hair removal cream. Remember to Vaseline your asshole though

Is it normal for your asshole to just fucking stink no matter how well you wipe it between showers? Hell, sometimes I'll shower and clean it real good, and hours later it'll fucking stink even if I haven't taken a shit, I guess just from farting all day

This guy gets it.

>im an retard an proud of it

I bleed every time I take a shit because every time I blow open an anal fissure that never healed properly
I don't mind the slight pain but I'm worried about infection and the such
what do

>lasering all my ass hair off like the guys did in high school
>my ass leaks a little hours after I poop sometimes
The absolute state of Weimerica

just get a douche and use a hydrogen peroxide and water mixture. Douche your anschluss with it after every shit

Been there, I just held my shit in for four days so it could heal properly.

that sounds awful and like it won't solve the anal fissure

well if you faggots would stop ramming all kinds of shit up your assholes and tearing your guts up you all wouldn't have fucking anal fissures, anal leakage, etc

it happened because i got badly constipated while bulking so when I finally shat i'm pretty sure it was over a foot long and 2.5" in diameter

Sometimes people just take big shits. I remember a guy back in high school that took a shit so big he said his asshole felt like two pieces of shrimp rubbing together when he walked it off.

>have lived with what i think is a hemorrhoid for literally months
>asshole itches immediately after anything that rubs it (shitting, showering and cleaning my ass, etc) and putting on an ointment usually helps and i dont really feel it until the next time i touch it and it happens again
>never hurts, it's always just itching, but pretty sure when i apply the ointment i can feel something that feels like it's a piece of skin hanging down or something

i just got some actual hemorrhoid cream, i really hope this works. i dont know what ill do if it doesnt. maybe ill need to hold in my shit for a number of days to try to heal it, but im scared of getting constipated

>hydrogen peroxide in your colon
this sounds like death
wouldn't this kill all your gut flora?

>asshole felt like two pieces of shrimp rubbing together when he walked it off

fucking kek, his vocabulary is great

>inferiority complex non-Americans OBSESSED
lmao why do lesser countries even exist

then why are they still sold everywhere? clearly they are disposed of at some point down the line. not my job.

trim it down with cheap clippers to like 5mm.

i've actually had this for the past 14 months. been to doctors, had tests, the whole shebang. nothing wrong with me, perfect diet. but my butt leaks some liquid every day. hope it goes away, cos its annoying having to shove tp up my ass every day.

lmgtfy.com/?q=bidet shower

This is Veeky Forums, not /b/. Get your shit together.

That means something is wrong with what you eat morons. Cut down the artificial sweeteners, eat more fibers. Don't ever tolerate ass leaks, Jesus. What are you, animals? Get some self respect!

the name of this board was changed from
>Veeky Forums - Health and Fitness
to
>Veeky Forums - Fitness
for exactly this reason, fuck off

>What is normal?

Normal is your shits are 90% nice and solid brown and require maybe 3 or 4 wipes and 10% what the fuck did I eat last night oh god it's coming and require around 10 to 20 wipes.

I've never had the problem of literal liquid shits unless I have a stomach illness. You shouldn't ever had to blot your asshole like you describe unless you're violently ill.

Not American though, might be different in burger land

95% and 5%* I mean, the really bad shits are pretty rare.

girls have some hair on their asshole (but in a much less amount than men)

>I do, but my ass leaks a little hours after I poop sometimes.
Shart in the Mart, yank.

Sounds like it might be HPV

america is truly a third world tier country

>euros

bruh

Has anyone ever gotten their ass crack hair / pubic hair waxed? How's that compared to shaving. Shaved my ass crack once and it was actually terrible after the first 12 hrs. Gets prickly, slimy if you sweat, farts are like bubbles trapped between ur cheeks, etc. Idk how the fuck women deal with no ass hair

No but I have been considering doing /selfwax/ and want to know if it's worth and tips and tricks for doing it at home.

I am a lanky swede so I have many long but thin and invisible ass hairs which don't shave easily

no shit you idiots earn more $ we don't get paid in $
goddamn retard
>pic related, thats you right now