I'm a pretty decent looking guy, handsome, fit and dont go too autistic when talking to girls the thing is...

I want to, until the anxiety kicks in just before starting

okay real answer, not a good one for those of you who like 1-shot surefire solutions. sit down in a quiet area in comfortable clothing, take good posture and focus your mind on your breathing. i like to start with the 4x4 method used by EMTs to stay calm in stressful situations. breath in 4, hold 4, exhale 4, inhale 4. your body might start feeling winded but that just means you should either breath in deeper or exhale fuller. then i'll move to a simple in/out, really trying to concentrate 100% on how i'm breathing. when my mind wanders, i usher it back like a sheepdog.

i can go into more detail with how it works in the bedroom if you'd like

not him but I would try fucking a guy since it is practice. I don't want HIV though for starters and there's 20 other hurdles.

oh yeah and i do that for anywhere from 5 to 20 minutes depending on how stressed or anxious i feel

sounds good, go for it!

If you're in your 20's white and in college, and fuck someone in that range, the chances of HIV are extremely small. Always wear a condom of course.

honestly, can someone describe performance anxiety? I've never experienced this and have no idea what it is. Is it just not being able to get it up because you're nervous?

Run away its better not to know trust me and close this tab mate

I don't get this tbqh. I do long distance and don't fap for a few days before, when we immediately go to have sex I cum within the first 30 seconds, but remain 100% hard and able to continue.

When I first started having sex I closed my eyes and imagined ISIS executions on live-leak, now I am to cum at will like a porn star.

Fuck viagra, try 10mg of cialis

to really overcome the anxiety it was also edging helped me. like i said, i used to work to cum as fast as possible but it really hurt me in the long run because i would just fight to bust a nut and then end it. so what would happen is when i was with a girl, i'd either bust too early or too late or not get hard at all because my body was under a lot of pressure to perform but my mind wasn't helping anything. edging helped me by 1. assuring myself i could get rock hard and 2. assuring myself i could control my own dick

so, edging. basically what you want to do is jerk it (remember no porn) to right before the point of no return and then hold it (now here is where the meditation comes in) i'd go blank in my mind, focusing on my erection and waiting for the feeling to subside. take a big huge deep breath and then go from there. now before i practiced meditation, i would still be all over the place like an ADHD chimp and i'd just bust, no question. so after that first edge, your dick gets rock hard and you can rinse and repeat over and over again until you get bored, have to be somewhere, whatever, and then you can bust like a champ. (also remember this, ejaculation is the -first- part of an orgasm for a man, so be ready to enjoy the rest of it after. do this for a week and it'll really change jerking off.

so now you can get hard like a champ, the next thing to do is apply this in the bedroom. remember erections come and go, always have and always will. and when you remember this it should take all the pressure off initially because you're an organism, not a machine. during sex i'll work to get to the point of orgasm and then again blank out, focus on my erection, take a deep breath, dick gets rock hard, and then from there it's all a matter of enjoying the ride.

i hope this helps you enjoy the ride, too.

NOFAP

yeah pretty much. happens a lot nowadays because people have much shorter attention spans and are more prone to anxiety due to our interactions with electronics and a bustling civilization.

and one other thing that helped. kegels. really getting a good pump when i've got morning wood and when i'm jerking off really helped flex the blood vessels

Its also because alot of long term incels are used to getting off to images and fantasy so when physically touching a women their brain doesnt know how to respond. Shit destroyed my self esteem for a long time

is there a girl version of this? i'm a good enough looking guy. could have 90% of girls I want. made every girl I've been with orgasm, except current gf. She can barely get wet, and absolutely cannot orgasm from sex. She needs like 45 minutes and a shower head. I took her virginity, and she's never willing to try to do any of the work.

that sounds more like a personality issue. some people just don't like sex.

but yeah there is a female version called vaginismus. basically the opening of the vagina is a ring of muscle, and under anxiety that muscle will tighten up and basically close off the entrance to the vagina and it freaking sucks. also some women are hard to turn on, it might take some kinky shit to get her going.

Learn some technique with your tongue... get her off 2-3 times before you even pull your dick out. By this time, you'll already be so into it and horny that you shouldn't have a problem at all. If you do still, she already got hers and will be 10x more likely to not use the situation against you and come back for more later. On your second and third experience with the same girl, you should feel much more comfortable and not have the same anxiety.

damn dude, 90 days.. congrats!

i just looked into it. definitely vaginismus. definitely psychological. the three most common psychological causes are fear of painful sex, the belief sex is wrong or shameful (ie religious upbringing) and traumatic childhood experience. She definitely experiences both of the first two.

Of this doesn't help, get your T levels checked and consider going on test.

Very common if you are new to this whole sex thing. Just find someone you can actully spent some time and let it come naturally. If already in relationship, idk what the fuck are you doing here, go talk with the girl.

Take it from me, man. You go in there (the vagina) and you act like you know what you are doing, make them believe they are getting the best fuck of their life. It's all theater, man, fake it 'til you make it. I'm a pretty big guy so I have a leg up when I've got a girl under me, she is already cumming 8-minutes in because she is looking at my muscles, my face, thinking "how did little old me get landed with a guy who looks like that?" I capitalize on this, I swagger through her walls, pumping her like a plunger in a toilet because she already thinks I'm hot shit, she cums inside of 8-minutes. In conclusion, you need to believe that you are the top-dog, alpha male and the girl will belive it too, no matter how bad you perform, she will still cum.

is this copypasta???

yeah honestly i know people who suffered from that and what helped was a lot of lube, small toys to start, and a very open ear and big heart to talk them down. best of luck

NOFAP! Please listen i got into a relationship and fucked it up i wish i had done nofap sooner!!

have you tried caber?

one of these an hour before sex and you're gold

Get a gf you love and trust instead of just casual sex with strangers

No, I made it up just then, didn't think my post was really all that funny but the advice is solid. If you believe that you are the best in the world, she'll believe it too, it's psychology, women are easy to manipulate because they are more emotional than men.

ecstasy or ADs + xanax

this. get a gf and work it out with her.

I'm a little older and performance anxiety was definitely a normal thing back when I grew up as well, so I'm not sure I'd be so quick to blame porn. I had big difficulties with my first gf, but we worked through it and eventually the sex was great. Just communicate with your gf and you'll be fine.

you're better off cutting out porn rather than cutting out masturbation

Lel, i imagined my grandmas tits back in highschool, worked like charm

I've got the same exact problem as you, bro. I've been no-fapping since mid-November to try to overcome it. There's no logical reason for it at all, hell, I'm married to a woman who I find attractive and who I'm totally comfortable with otherwise. It just takes a grip on me sometimes and then it is so fucking hard to get out of that "pre-sex anxiety" will kill my boner. No-fapping has seemingly been helping so far, but I might go deeper. I honestly would always rather be fucking than fapping anyways, and its forcing me to go for sex if I want to cum. I'm working on this too, bro, its nice to know somebody else has the same problem.

Lol fuck off noporn doesnt do what nofap does

For those of you advertising me to get a gf, I got out of a long ass relation and I'm enjoying the ons life. There has been some progress through no porn and viagra but I don't feel like I overcame the whole thing at all.

Maybe a combo of breathing techniques, no fapping, keggels and viagra is the way to go? Idk man

nofap sucks. you're leaving out masturbation for nothing rather than resetting the underlying reasons for ED.

Stop watching porn, retard

You need to overcome the performance anxiety with yourself first. Really enjoy and learn about how you react through masturbation then go from there.

Dapoxetine. Keeps you from nutting fast.
nootropicsource.com/shop/solutions/dapoxetine/

>can't get hard
>get told how not to cum
Thanks pal. For the record once I'm hard and relaxed I can cum whenever I want, got no problems coordinating it with her orgasms.

Exactly this. It becomes a negative feedback loop in your head. Once you can't get it up then you are thinking about how you can't get it up and it's all over from there.

Kek

I also had this experience. Was embarrassing for a couple times but she cared about it less than I did for sure. After a couple times it's no big deal and ur over it

Quit touching yourself

No struggle no reward

it's not a struggle. it's like starving yourself to get stronger rather than taking in the right food and doing the right workouts.

No because for me noporn did nothing at all while nofap i actually started getting erections again. So ure everybody is different but for alot of guys nofap is a must

Fuck an ugly girl. Why? Because then you are under NO pressure. Pick a slutty one that knows what she is doing. You are good looking and decent, she will go all out to please you. Your performance anxiety is in YOUR head, once you get down and dirty a few times your anxiety will go away.

Try being a smooth, Chad-tier looking guy like me.... who's got ED. I wish I was a turbo manlet who could at least get it up.

stop making it a fucking race and dating random whores you autist.
Find a girl you feel comfortable with, take your time, actually provide foreplay.
Either you have actual ED or you're a fag and like taking it in the butt.
Just smelling my girls vagina is enough for me to get rock hard.

For psychological-nofap
Please listen i just ruined a great relationship because of this i wish somebody told me sooner!!

take this
russianstarpeptides.com/product/pge1-caverject-alprostadil-caprodil/
you will get hard and stay hard no matter what

I don't know how your situation is for you but I suffer from general anxiety disorder. The cycle often goes so that I have one bad or awkward experience and that will carry on to future situations. I will start worrying a lot before hand and thoughts will be spinning for hours end.

My advice to you would be try to get comfortable with the person, and not think of it as a performance, or about whether you get it in and whether you blow their brains out as if you're in a living porno. Think of it as something fun you're both doing, ease into it

I am doing NoFap right now man, I hope it helps
I am still mentally damaged from all the failures though.

Interesting

Might give this a shot

Jerking off to what, fantasy? Focusing on the sensation?

was a pretty good thread, im gonna try a few things, do the same and post results so we can overcome this sheit!

fucking kek

>i need to lose my virginity some day

This. Get good with fingers too and make her squirt (easier than you'd think if never done it). Don't hold back and make her quiver.

At this point, if you're anything like me, you'll be horny as fuck. More importantly, she'll be even hornier and will be so wrapped up in tje the situation that her initial momentary judgment of the situation will be so strongly positive that it will be hard to feel nervous about dicking her right.

Do more cardio.

Care to give an explanation? Not sure about ordering something without some kind of endorsement outside of WebMD

>don't fap beforehand
>blow load within 5 minutes unless I do coitus reservatus
>fap beforehand
>literally cannot fucking reach climax

feels like a catch 22

Holy shit, this is literally me. Like, exactly my problem. It's good to know I'm not alone, anyways. I'm doing no-fap and really trying to overcome it, it's an incredibly frustrating problem, because I can be dying for sex sometimes but if that goddamn feeling gets the better of me it makes getting hard nearly impossible. I gotta get over this, I just want to be able to fuck when I want to fuck and enjoy my sex life.

It naturally activates the receptors that open blood pathways to the penis, rather than trying to force more through constricted veins like with viagra. This compound already exists in small amounts naturally in your body. It has essentially no side effects other than low blood pressure if heavily overdosed

Noporn, right now.

Also, if you tried drinking and Viagra, I'm guessing you're open to other drugs. Phenibut 100% helped me get over my performance anxiety ED. Now I go diamonds as soon as she touches muh dick(off phenibut). One thing though, I've only fucked on Phenibut that one time and ended up not cumming after like an hour and a half of solid boning. May have been residual nerves holding me back, but also may have been the drugs.

Also, not trying to sound like a tool, but keep it in your head you're better than her. Like, you're handsome, fit, thick, solid, tight, she loves your body and is lucky to see you naked.

Godspeed son

>Also
>Also

My bad, it's time for bed