The manlet was dear to thee, I see. Know that he suffered greatly at the hands of his PT...

The manlet was dear to thee, I see. Know that he suffered greatly at the hands of his PT. Who would’ve thought one so small could endure so much ‘education’? And he learned, Gandalf, he learned

G-good lifting

>What do you mean? Do you mean to wish me a good lift or do you mean it is good to lift whether I like it or not? Or perhaps you mean to say that particular lift was good. Or are you simply stating this lift is a good lift to do?

All of them at once, I suppose

Severely underrated

Frodo: [Finds SS Manuscript] what’s this?
>Rippboe: This is private, keep your skinny paws off! It’s not ready yet!
Frodo: Ready for what?
>Rippboe: Reading!

>They were once men. Great lifters of men. Then Sauron the deceiver gave to them nine syringes of power. Blinded by their greed, they took them without question. One by one, they fell into darkness and now they're slaves to His will. They are the /Fraud/, Roidwraiths. Neither living nor dead. At all times, they feel the presence of the Roids. Drawn to the power of the One, they will never stop hunting you."

>When did dumbbells and your mother’s old recipes become so important to you?

>Do you know how the Manlets first came into being? They were elves once, taken by the dark powers, tortured and mutilated. A ruined and terrible form of life...

Begone, foul thot, killer of gains! Leave the manlets in peace!"

A cold voice answered: 'Come not between the Natty and his whey! Or he will not deadlift in thy turn. He will bear thee away to the planets of fitness, beyond all darkness, where thy gains shall be devoured, and thy shrivelled body be left naked to the Lidless Creatine."

A barbell rang as it was unracked. "Lift what you will; but I will hinder it, if I may."

"Hinder me? Thou fool. No living man may hinder me!"

Then Merry heard of all sounds in that hour the strangest. It seemed that Piana laughed, and the clear voice was like the lifting of iron. "But no living man am I!

I have told your names to the lankmoot, and we have agreed you are Manlets

holy shit

Out of dyel mode, into body dysmorphia.

is this how the original "i am no man", in return of the king, goes?

Kek

Yes, dialogue in the entire book isn't so Shakespeare, the Witch King is meant to be an old dude so Tolkien made him talk like a fag.

kek i see, also interesting that they swapped the manlet for the gainsgoblin

>What's 'nions, precious? What's uh-nions, eh?
>OH-NEE-ONS, peel them, cut them, put them into you!

...

...

>What's Bloating, precious? What's bloating, eh?
>BLOAT-MAXX-ING, eat big, bloat up, mogg twinks like you!

>i'm on nobody's side because nobody's on my side
t. manlet

AHAHAHAHAHAHA
YOU HAVE NO POWER HERE
GANDALF NO GAINS

Haha!

We cannot get out. They have taken the bridge and second hall. The end comes.

Manlets, manlets in the deep...

They are coming

>And he learned, Gandalf, he learned
Not Gaindalf? Cmon

...

kek3000

>roidwraiths

The gym has pool
So nice and cool
Jacuzzi with seats!
After this
Go buy some fish
For omega-3!

Nice, I love that line

>Gentlemen! We do not stop lifting until nightfall!
>But what about a 4 scoops c'mon protein shake?
>You've already had it
>I've had one yes, but what about a second 4 SCOOPS C'MON protein shake?
>I don't think he knows about a second 4 scoops c'mon protein shake, Rich
>What about mashed yamsies? Gaineron? Afternoon tren? Midnight burrito? Ben & Jerry's? He knows about them, doesn't he?
>I wouldn't count on it

“What’s going on out there?”

“Would you like me to describe it to you, or find you a box?”

my favorite so far

I fucking love this site

>victory was near but the power of Swolnir could not be undone

Deeper, deeper, Lifters of Rippetoe
Fell curlbros awake: milk and oats!
Squatracks shall be shaken, plates be splintered,
A barbell day, a legday, ere the bar rises!
Squat now, squat now! Squat to T-Rex mode!

>Manlets, manlets in the deep...

I could work in for a while… I could work in… work in… share the equipment… the equipment...

LOOKS LIKE MILKS BACK ON THE MENU BOYS

Penis INSPECTION!

...

Lmfao

LOOKS LIKE ROACHES ARE BACK ON THE MENU BOYS

Three paltes for the natty-kings under the sky,
Seven for the manlets in their pit of stone,
Nine for Mortal lankies doomed to snap,
One for the /fraud/ Lord on his /fraud/ throne
In the Land of syringes where the inhuman gains lie.

Plates*

Curses!

The /fraud/ do not suffer the natty to ass

>You will suffer me
>n-no homo

They're taking the manlets to Burger King!

>I’ll draw them off

These a Treadmill sprinters, they will out run you!

>These are cardio bunnies, I’d like to see them try

The age of swole is over. The time of the hamplanets has come.

pre-workout jug,
is nice and thug -
so juicy sweet!

our only thoughts-
to do some squats,
so juicy sweet!

>They have taken the lobby...and the locker room
>We have barbell'd the gates...but cannot hold them for long. The ground shakes
>'Rolling...Rolling in the deep'
>We cannot get out. A trainer moves in the lunk
>We cannot get out.
>NYR are coming!

Arise, arise, Lifters of Théoden!
plates shall be shaken, shins shall be splintered,
a gym-day, a diddly day, ere the bar rises!

LIFT NOW, LIFT NOW, LIFT!
LIFT FOR
>HER
AND THE FEELS ENDING

DEAAAAAAADS
DEEAAAAAADS
DEEEAAAAADSS

That is Dain Ironfoot, Thorins spotter. I always thought Thorin was the more aesthetic of the two.

>I was there when Isildur tried for a new deadlift PR
>I was there the day the strength of Men failed

Fucking lost

>There was Shervashian, the One, who on Veeky Forums is called Zyzz; and he made first the Natties, the Holy Ones, that were the offspring of his thought, and they were with him before aught else was made. And he lifted with them, propounding to them routines for aesthetics; and they lifted before him, and he was glad. But for a long while they lifted only each alone, or but few together, while the rest mired; for each comprehended only that lift of me program of Zyzz from which he came, and in the understanding of their brehs they grew but slowly. Yet ever as they listened they came to greater PR's, and increased in unison and harmony.

nice one

Bretty gud/10

>I don't know half of your lifts half as well as I should like; and I like less than half of your routine half as well as you deserve.

Epic.... Omg that was the best fucking scene.

>Saruman (voiceover): "The manlet pits… You fear to go into the manlet pits."

[Saruman sits in his study in Orthanc, reading a page in a book of lore written in a strange tongue.]

Saruman: "The manlets delved too greedily and too deep, trying to find a way out.You know what they awoke in the darkness of the pits. Shadow and flame!"

>Epic.... Omg
You have to go back.

In a hole in the gym there lived a manlet. Not a nasty, dirty, wet hole, filled with the ends of barbells and squatracks, nor yet a dry, bare, dusty hole with benches in it to sit down on or mirrors for selfmires: it was a manlet-hole, and that means containment.

>that means containment

Fucking Kek

Oh come on, I can bench it!
>its a lot of weight
...
spot me
>what?
I cannot judge the limit, you have to spot me!
>
ehhwait wait wait....dont tell the thots
>not a word

Bend the bar, break the weights
Smash the shakers, and burn the whey
Snap the needles and smash the plates
That's what Swolbo Baggins hates!

Far under Planet Fitness cold
Two manpits deep, I can't lift old
We must escape, we'll learn one day
To find our long-forgotten swole

>What business does a dyelf, a powerlifter, and a manlet have in the Dumbbell-Mark? Speak quickly.
>Give me your name, curlmaster, and I shall give you mine.
>I would cut your head off, manlet... if it stood but a little higher from the ground.

I love this.

kek

>dyelf

kek

They have a Bloatlord.

>dyelf
dank

>Lembas! Elvish wheybread. One small bite is enough to fill the protein needs of a powerlifter!

>How many did you eat?
>

>It reads "The doors of Durin, lord of Moria. Speak 'manlet' and enter"
>What do you suppose that means?
>Oh it's quite simple, if you are a manlet you speak the password, and the doors will open
>*manlet gibberish*
>Nothing's happening!
>...It's a riddle
>Speak "manlet" and enter
>What's the height of the king of manlets?
>"5'11"
>

Best post so far.

>what about deadlifts?
we've had deadlifts
>we've had one yes, but what about second deadlift?
-don't think he knows about second deadlift, pip
>what about squats?
>curls?
>Over head press?
>bench?
>incline?
>he knows about them, doesnt he?
-wouldn't count on it
[Throws cardio]

Nobody spots a dwarf!

>People posting the same quotes
>Not reading the thread
>Not being original

>Did you know that your Great-Great-Great-Great Uncle Bloatroarer Took was so large he could lift a real bar?

Yes

>Well he could! In the battle of GoldsGyms, he charged the Gain Goblin ranks. He swung his dumbbell so hard it knocked the Goblin King height clean off 6'0 and he sailed a hundred yards through the air and down a rabbit hole. And thus the battle was won and the manlet pit invented at the same time.

kek

Not all those who shitpost are virgins.

...

All that is gold standard does not glitter
Not all gains after cardio are lost
The old on TRT does not wither
Deep squats are not reached by the frost

I hope someone is going to screencap this thread.
It deserves it.

>Aren't you going to examine me?
I could have a bone down my trousers.

>Why did it hurt?
>Because it was proper form

I realized I got lazy on the last line, should've made it something along the lines of
>I would curl your head off, manlet... if it was racked but a little higher from the ground.

>You've changed Bilbo Baggins. You're not the same hobbit as the one who left the Gym...

I was going to tell you...I found something in the manlet pits

>Found what? What did you find?

My Phenibut

>Good...well, that's good. You'll need it!

>This will be a cycle to remember.

KEKKKK

user created gold that can be used in any manlet thread

>walk into gym
>another chadorc is hogging the benches, grunting
>smells like hobbit piss
>be me, just want to press 2pl8 and get back to rivendell with the other soyelfs
>get on bench next to orc, attempt to press 2pl8, fail
>orc presses 6pl8, gets up, looks at me and menacingly says
>THE AGE OF MEN IS OVER, THE AGE OF THE GAINSMOG, HAS COME

>I can’t lift for you
>But I can lift you!

Do you remember the gym Mr.Fraubo? It’ll be spring soon. And the New Years will be gone. And the bunnies will be nesting in the cardio area. And they’ll be doing yoga classes in plain view. Do you remember the feel of the pump?

>what do you fear, mylady?
>A power cage. To stay behind barbells until use and old age accepts them. And all chance of gains has gone beyond recall and desire

You want to know what happened to bearomir? Do you want to know why your brother died?
He tried to take the weight from Fraudo after swearing an oath to spot him! He tried to outlift him! The gains drove your brother mad!

Sorry in advance

quality kek

>lifting for manlets

Remember lads: FACE,FRAME,HEIGHT