/bmg/ BLOATMAX GENERAL

Who is /bmg/ for?

For /bloat/maxxers who want to better themselves through meaningful 20.000kcal diet and walking training

>Plan your weight gain week by week
calculator.net/pregnancy-weight-gain-calculator.html

>Approach your diet the smart way
health.com/health/gallery/0,,20802995,00.html

>How To EXPLOSIVE Power
youtube.com/watch?v=pxUoXiNLTqM

>How To Zercher Front Raises
youtube.com/watch?v=pFDsUk_Dd_o

>How To Biceps Curl
youtube.com/watch?v=d2OfWExd4Xg

>How To LIVE IT
youtube.com/watch?v=H9xnpLQRs5g

Other urls found in this thread:

elitefts.com/education/nutrition/dietary-science/under-the-bar-how-to-pull-of-a-massive-bloat/
elitefts.com/education/trying-to-bloat/
youtube.com/watch?v=d2OfWExd4Xg
youtube.com/watch?v=VD02veBf6zk
youtube.com/watch?time_continue=16&v=WVCCt-GxDNw
youtube.com/watch?v=OwumhG4uUu8
youtube.com/watch?v=NDbLaZWjo5w&t=72s
youtube.com/watch?v=Yl8kFE3h6rM
youtube.com/watch?v=YQEJyjKTH9g
youtube.com/watch?v=9LDhtHfuzcM
youtube.com/watch?v=aJ1YWuautyQ
twitter.com/SFWRedditGifs

checked
>2017+1
>not living it

That ass

>pregnancy weight calculator
Exquisite thread

Made for the BBC

>mfw I haven't gained 40lbs in the past 2 days

ITT: morons who role play on the internet about being morbidly obese with high blood pressure and looking like poorly aged, shit stinking garbage

t. DYEL twink

Twinklet detected.

Good goy. Be little and weak

Can i grab your tinny dick and play with it while you call me daddy twinkie ? :)

...

Imagine being this much of a pussy irl

>there was once a time where our BLOATGOD was genuinely happy

What happened to make him so sad?

His favourite souvlatzidiko closed due to recession.

who is that girl god damn

WHERE DID YOU GET THIS?!? That is a rare bloat

something happened after he was out of the army

Do you think she made a braap up there?

Why doesn't this fat cunt actually do lifting instead of 1/48th ROM meme shit or lifts at less than his bodyweight? Is it because he has no talent?

Cope

I bet you can't even unrack the weight which he's lifting

more like braap superset bro

went bald

>I bet you can't even unrack the weight which he's lifting
Sure, but he weighs 100kg more than me
I've unracked 350kg to a back squat position at a bodweight of 110kg with a backsquat pr of 250kg.

ITT
Being fat is okay

nah user he was already bald in the army

e-stating this much

It is for certain performance goals related to lifting as much weight as possible. Nobody is deluding themselves that they'd be attractive, much less healthy.

I would eat the shit out of the left heart

Vegans have no chance.

THICC

Looks like Gomer Pyle from Full Metal Jacket

>762kg, full bodyweight jackass

>It is for certain performance goals related to lifting as much weight as possible.
Except this faggot isn't doing that, he's doing irrelevant meme lifts for nothing

>ITT: morons who role play on the internet about being morbidly obese with high blood pressure and looking like poorly aged, shit stinking garbage
Heh... yeah.... roleplaying.........

More good info on diet:

elitefts.com/education/nutrition/dietary-science/under-the-bar-how-to-pull-of-a-massive-bloat/
elitefts.com/education/trying-to-bloat/

Post your current snacks

Thanks user you're doing the lord's work

>youtube.com/watch?v=d2OfWExd4Xg

I didn't realize until today that the curl was a hip movement, how foolish I have been!

>tfw when walking training is MESMERIZING
youtube.com/watch?v=VD02veBf6zk

you just fucking know..

me on the left

...

fucking kek

projection is not an argument.

>being fat is the same as being a bloatgod

youtube.com/watch?time_continue=16&v=WVCCt-GxDNw

More nutritional knowledge from Dave Tate:
There was a time at the Old Westside gym where I couldn't gain weight to save my fucking life.

There was this dude who trained there who could just put on weight like fucking magic. He'd go from 198 to 308 and then to 275 and back down to 198. And he was never fat. It was amazing.

I finally asked him one day how he did it.

"You mean I never told you the secret to gaining weight? Come outside and I'll fill you in."

Now remember, we're at Westside Barbell. And this guy wants to go outside to talk so no one else can hear. Think about that for a minute. What the hell is he going to tell me? This must be some serious shit if we have to go outside, I thought.

So we get outside and he starts talking.

"For breakfast you need to eat four of those breakfast sandwiches from McDonalds. I don't care which ones you get, but make sure to get four. Order four hash browns, too. Now grab two packs of mayonnaise and put them on the hash browns and then slip them into the sandwiches. Squish that shit down and eat. That's your breakfast."

At this point I'm thinking this guy is nuts. But he's completely serious.

"For lunch you're gonna eat Chinese food. Now I don't want you eating that crappy stuff. You wanna get the stuff with MSG. None of that non-MSG bullshit. I don't care what you eat but you have to sit down and eat for at least 45 minutes straight. You can't let go of the fork. Eat until your eyes swell up and become slits and you start to look like the woman behind the counter."

"For dinner you're gonna order an extra-large pizza with everything on it. Literally everything. If you don't like sardines, don't put 'em on, but anything else that you like you have to load it on there. After you pay the delivery guy, I want you to take the pie to your coffee table, open that fucker up, and grab a bottle of oil. It can be olive oil, canola oil, whatever. Anything but motor oil. And I want you to pour that shit over the pie until half of the bottle is gone. Just soak the shit out of it."

"Now before you lay into it, I want you to sit on your couch and just stare at that fucker. I want you to understand that that pizza right there is keeping you from your goals."

This guy is in a zen-like state when he's talking about this.

"Now you're on the clock," he continues. "After 20 minutes your brain is going to tell you you're full. Don't listen to that shit. You have to try and eat as much of the pizza as you can before that 20-minute mark. Double up pieces if you have to. I'm telling you now, you're going to get three or four pieces in and you're gonna want to quit. You fucking can't quit. You have to sit on that couch until every piece is done.

And if you can't finish it, don't you ever come back to me and tell me you can't gain weight. 'Cause I'm gonna tell you that you don't give a fuck about getting bigger and you don't care how much you lift!"

Did I do it? Hell yeah. Started the next day and did it for two months. Went from 260 pounds to 297 pounds. And I didn't get much fatter. One of the hardest things I've ever done in my life, though.

Q: What's the best TV dinner?
A: four TV dinners.

youtube.com/watch?v=OwumhG4uUu8

youtube.com/watch?v=NDbLaZWjo5w&t=72s

youtube.com/watch?v=VD02veBf6zk

The bloatlord is simply entrancing

I havent seen this autistic lard ass do a single legit feat of strenght or conventional exercise.

>Healthy heart
>outside the body
If he was so healthy wtf is his heart doing there? Check mate Twinks

Conventional lifts are for twinks but anyway
youtube.com/watch?v=Yl8kFE3h6rM

What happened to his YouTube channel? Almost all of his old videos are gone.

Here's some bloatsperation for you twinks out there. 12,000+ calories in one day!

youtube.com/watch?v=YQEJyjKTH9g

>bouncing off his mound of slob
>still not even half ROM even close to locking out

What a complete joke this fat fuck is. When memes go too far. There are newbies who can become the next Arnold looking at this and not realizing it's a meme

Who cares about the next Arnold when we have BLOAT?

Tfw I once achieved bloatmax glory and used rep 5 pl8 squats
Tfw a twinklet soy boy and back down to 4
I am a little more flexible and sweat less though

fellas ive found a use for the fitbit my family got me as they DO NOT understand my lifestyle choices. i tell them im LIVING IT but it falls on deaf ears.
Anyway the fitbit can be used to count steps this is very useful to prevent overtraining when you are walk training.
It also has a heart rate monitor, you do not want your heart rate to fall too low as this indicates unhealthy levels of bloat. If your resting heart rate is under 90 id recommend you up your sodium intake immediately.

Brutal mog

Fucking nice

This is a work of art

He probably saw some shit

I don't mean to be a dick, and I know you guys follow whatever people psyop meme on the internet, but is this guy actually retarded?

>any insult equals projection
Fucking hate how people just pick up terminology from this website and then don't use it correctly.

c-can I get a qt gf like that if I bloat?

Who can stop the almighty B L O A T G O D from taking whichever pussy he wants?

great tips my bloat friend

amazing size and glory to 5plaet squats

t. triggered pile of bloated shit projecting his inability to use newly acquired vocabulary

Is it just me that has an urge to hug Kyriakos Grizzly? He just looks like he needs a big hug. He's like a massive teddy bear.

QUICK quiz.. how old is our BloatGod?

>25
>35
>45
>55

...

post your rare B L O A T S lads
i need to fill up my folder

twinks need to go back to plebbit

He's actually 15.

I got you my bloat bro

Correct!

...

R A R E B L O A T
A
R
E
B
L
O
A
T

...

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causal bloat does not need your hugs twink,unless you're on a road to bloatness

youtube.com/watch?v=9LDhtHfuzcM

>he doesn't live it like Goku
youtube.com/watch?v=aJ1YWuautyQ