Friend invited me to a sauna (in US)

>friend invited me to a sauna (in US)
>it's apparently nude only
>he is not gay

What should I expect? What's the etiquette for everything?

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Don't go. That's gay af

Being naked is not sexual unless you make it so.
In Finland sauna is a place where all people, regardless of age or sex can go mixed and enjoy.
Just go to the sauna, sweat, talk or don't, drink a beer or don't.

Bring towel. Put towel on bench. Sit on one end, wrap other end over lap.

A sauna is, or should be, far too hot for anything resembling lewd activity or thought.

I work in a locker room. Nude only sounds like bullshit. Just wear swim shorts if you don’t want your dick out. Or go in naked it doesn’t fucking matter you autist.

>go in the sauna
>put down the towel
>sit and shoot the shit with your friend
Its not that difficult. Go out or have a cold shower when it gets too hot for you to handle or something. I'd have a few beers as well, but I'm assuming its a public sauna of sorts and its probably not allowed.

Sauna is fucking great even if you haven't got any thots with you. Only gay if you make it so.

Optional: Do tons of coke beforehand

remember to stroke your dick in the shower to make it look bigger, and bring a credit card in case someone wants to lose water weight fast.

>A sauna is, or should be, far too hot for anything resembling lewd activity or thought.
Also this, Tried it once and heartbeat hit to the MAX in 15 seconds, not fun

I was at a resort when I was 14. They had a nude only sauna. I beat off in there every day.

>being asked in the US
>definitely gay

>t. Zyzz’s ghost

It's gay going without clothes. At least wear some boxers or/and shorts

Are you sure you aren't harboring some repressed urges if you can't imagine naked sauna not being gay?

Going to the sauna with underwear is gay and blasphemous

there is no judgment about squatplug, don't worry

Sit and sweat, user
Sit.
and.
Sweat ;)

seriously? everyone is in there naked?
even in the sauna here in canada that is INSIDE the men's changeroom where men are naked we are not allowed to be naked
fuck

Nude only not gay sauna in US? I don't believe you. I moved to America and people here have absolutely zero sauna culture

>What's the etiquette for everything?
don't stare at the balls

Why the fuck would you wear clothes in a sauna?

i was in a naked sauna club just last week for the first time. ive got to admit that i was a really anxious at first, but after a few minutes i realised that it was no big deal at all and honestly enjoyed it a lot

>At least wear some boxers or/and shorts
Gay.

>and bring a credit card in case someone wants to lose water weight fast.

I suppose it's because of homo bathhouses.

Idk if memeing but that's normal at the saunas I've been to here. Why would I want to be in a small sweaty room with guys who've got their dick and balls out.

>and bring a credit card in case someone wants to lose water weight fast

are we just going to ignore this

>Why would I want to be in a small sweaty room with guys who've got their dick and balls out.
Because if you are not naked it does not work. And if dicks make you that uncomfortable, just look away (or look at the pussies and boobs and get kicked out).

>tfw I can't wear glasses in the sauna
>see almost nothing because it's so dark and hot
>can't even check out the naked women

Because it's the normal sauna culture in the countries where saunas are actually popular.

Why would you want to wear an actual boxer when you are sitting in a room that is around 90°C?

Make sure you say no home first

it's a wrestling thing you wouldn't understand

Have you ever been to American saunas? People wear hoodies and sneakers in them I shit you not

I've never bathed in a sauna with clothes on. Ever, and I've bathed in a sauna almost weekly for my whole life.
>and bring a credit card in case someone wants to lose water weight fast.
hwat

>tfw last time I was in a sauna it was some makeshift hut on a small island at a metal/hippy festival
>comfy as fuck
>bunch of alt grills
>could go out and jump in the cold lake water
Literally the best sauna experience of my life. Ended up spending most of the festival there.
>last day some thot took sneak pictures of me while I was laying on some half submerged pier

God I just get so tickled about how puritanical Americans are about nudity. Of course you have no problem watching extreme violence or talking about beheading muslims in the streets, but god forbid IF YOU SEE A PENIS IT MUST MEAN YOU ARE A LITERAL SERPENT OF THE DEVIL

CURE THE GAY
IN THE NAME OF JESUS CHRIST I CURE YOUR FAGGOTRY

Maybe you're right anons. I'll find a different place where its normal and I'll try it. But it feels good even in shorts

Wearing clothes in a sauna is literally autistic and incredibly gay. How insecure can one people get?

If you're going to a sauna then you better not be a lil dick nigga, the bigger your dick is the more unspoken respect you'll gain. The chad tables change once they know who's packing what, trust me I know(I've seen this happen again and again).

Well, gays should be exterminated on sight, so they're not wrong

Bring towel to drape across your lap, and your squat plug

wait so the Finns are not autistic in this case?

There is nothing autistic about human body

Good one eurocuck, now get back in your faggy sauna. Achmed needs a fluffing.

americans snip off parts of their genitalia for historically puritanical reasons

I think public places that have saunas are required to make people wear clothes to meet some sort of autistic health/safety standard.

This makes sense. Imagine sitting next to some shit-smelling Indian or Paki

you retards stand 5 feet away from each other at bus stops to avoid human interaction but go into a giant steamy wooden box completely naked like its no big deal

exblain

Holy kek, the absolute state of americlaps. Just adopt something from a different culture because you literally have none yourself and contort it into something utterly ridiculous

Isn't that more like a snorting cocaine thing?

Exactly,because sitting on other peoples sweat will give you aids

>metal/hippy festival on a small island
user where

I actually went to a sauna recently with my dad. It was pretty chill. Everyone is naked, but you give zero fucks once your dick is already out. It was a ton of old Chinese men there, so I cared even less.

wow you la creaturas are really crazy about nudity

I have a different concern, cant relax in mixed saunas (yes, naked you amerimongrels) because im trying to stop my boner, any tips?

>canada

xD

This.

We literally mutilate our childrens penises at birth to prevent them from jacking off and severely reduce their penis sensitivity. There is no hope for America, Jews have pozzed us so hard.

ITT:

>woah other cultures have different social norms

>amerimongrels
>can't control my boner
Kek

what are you? a swede?

I just repeat dumb shit like multiplication tables in my head to focus on something else. When you feel a boner coming it can be stopped that way

I said i cant relax because im concentrating on not getting hard around naked hot girls, you having some ED or what?

What's the point of saunas?

just have something to sit on

>and bring a credit card in case someone wants to lose water weight fast.

I literally have no idea what is going on in that sentence.

Then the sauna isn't hot enough.

this

Never heard of nude only

>be young me
>have to weight in for wrestling competition
>be slightly overweight
>have to go to sauna to lose some weight
>coach comes aswell and starts swiping the sweat off my skin with a credit card
that's about it

It feels good the same way lifting does because it puts force on your system.

Menuo Juodaragis in Lithuania. It was strange as fuck. A mix of some metalheads, hippies and medieval LARPers. Pretty fun people though and the location was amazing. I don't think they're having it on the same island next year though. Apparently every other year or so they have a smaller festival somewhere else to give the island some time to recover.

Just got back from a trip to Europe including Finland.

My Finnish mate took me to the oldest sauna in Helsinki. 95% of the men in there are naked and you'll stand out like a sore thumb if you aren't as well.

It is a bit weird as a Kiwi but no big deal to the Finns.

I use different saunas like steam room or ganbanyoku, they arent supposed to be that hot

We have a place like this near Chicago, it's Korean though. Segregated by gender in the saunas, mandatory nudity, even in the swimming pools which are also gender segregated. It's not a gay bathhouse either, there are plenty of coed areas just not the pools/jacuzzi/steam rooms.

>>it's apparently nude only
>>he is not gay

Now he is not, but after the "Sauna incident" you BOTH will be.

>be amerilard in "sauna"
>coach tries to give you a tip by dragging his credit card between your fold of flesh

Stretch your leg out, blood will start flowing there instead of your benis

I'm finnish actually. Here's some mma dude doing it.
youtube.com/watch?v=p2vsUWnGnhM

>mfw saunas have microtransactions now

flash your dick before you sit down

Wear your boxers. Lots of faggots in the states...

Just put your towel over your junk.

It's normal to do sauna nude, especially if it isn't co-ed.

If it's a Russian one there should be veniki (a bunch of tree branches bundled together). You should massage (hit yourself hard) with it if they're available.

Why would you be modest among men as you would be modest among women?

I have heard of the branches before, but never understood the point.

do you have to say no homo before you start spanking your friends with this thing?

>Optional: Do tons of coke beforehand
I hope you do that often. Clean out the gene pool a little, will ya.

Lemme guess, you dont live in the based upper midwest

>being this new

You're right. Why go chill with a friend and hang out. First it's a Sauna then he's stroking you off while fucking your asshole. Don't do it. It's unamerican. Just stay home and browse Veeky Forums.

No, going in with any clothes on is gay as fuck, it means you have a tiny dick

gives the sauna nice smell, also might increase blood flow if you spank yourself with it.

Because faggot cockwatchers like you exist.

>you retards stand 5 feet away from each other at bus stops to avoid human interaction
No we don't you retard. You actually believed internet memes, how does it feel to be a brainlet.
Finns are very social and friendly, just not to foreigners, so when some non Finn is here people tend to avoid them, even if they're white.

>wearing anything in the sauna
t. nasty disease-ridden thot

To outsiders scandinavians seems like they they're asocial because they don't talk louder than they need and respect people around them.

p.s I meant scandinavia plus denmark, iceland and finland

If you have to say that it means there is a small gay inside you. We vihta and vasta each other in sauna all the time here in Finland without any need to say no homo because we aren't homos so it wouldn't even occur to anyone that there's anything homo about it. In you vihta someone in Sweden you probably should say no homo though.

Increase blood flow in the area. VERY pleasant feeling to be hit by wet and cold nice smelling leaves right on your hot skin

Denmark is a part of core scandinavia you tard.

en.wikipedia.org/wiki/Scandinavia

yeah, that's my experience from saunas in Texas and Colorado only. Most of the Americans I met were extremely ashamed of their bodies