ITT: times you made girls spill their spaghetti (as a result of your superior Fitness™)

ITT: times you made girls spill their spaghetti (as a result of your superior Fitness™)

just happened 5

>snapchatting cutie
>tells me she feels bloated
>tell her to reduce sodium, stack vitamin D and cut water intake in half for a day
>"omg user you're so knowledgeable about all this fitness stuff and you look so good in your stories and you're so cute"
>proceeds to sperg out and send like 20 snapchats in a row of her stretchmarks, hunched over so I can see her belly rolls, exaggerating her under chin fat, telling me how small her boobs are
>respond by just saying "I'd still hit it"
>texts back OMG I DONT DESERVE YOU GO AWAYYYY
>silence since then

she's objectively an 8 and she just lost her fucking spaghetti over my Veeky Forums average body what do I do. Pic related is her brapper

Ask her if she wanna meet up

Get her name tattooed on your arm and tell her you love her.

Objective 8 huh? You're retarded.

Banter with her more. Find a common interest, preferably one that gets her back with you to one of your houses alone. Slowly physically escalate during conversation, touch her arm while making a statement. Touch her leg while making her laugh. Go for the kiss only when alone. After you break the touch and kiss barrier start doing more sensual stuff, bite her kneck, gran her inner thigh, feel up her ass (preferably while kissing). Then reach in her panties and give her a clitoral orgasm, rest should be easy.

Most of all just be a fucking man. Let her talk but direct the conversation. Tell her what you want to do and let her follow you. Don't be a faggot, like calling that decent but strangly wide ass an objective 8

this

>sends photo of brapper
>OP calls this spilling spaghetti

bruh I already fucked her I don't need autist lessons post a story of you making a girl lose her spaghetti unless you can't because you D E L

>she's objectively an 8
>stretchmarks, belly rolls, under chin fat, small boobs

The real joke here is your standards.

How about the time when you didn't realise that you use social media at all/ like a girl and that you aren't a man at all.

Reading the way you conduct yourself, and adding to it the fact that you are currently BRAGGING about acting this way makes me think you've got to be either 15 years old or... I don't know I guess that's the only option.

>not liking an ass the size of which requires a few stretch marks
>not liking a thicc hourglass frame

takes a skelly to attract skellies

That ass isn't thicc. It's just fat. Stay in denial.

Vitamin D has nothing to do with it. If you go higher you will need some vitamin K. But also it is a good idea overall.
Reduce sodium is part of true, but if you will say this to a girl she will go crazy about sodium and won't eat it at all. Girls tends towards looking everything black and white. And yeah that water thing is also not the best.

gotta agree with the other user
>stretch marks are not a prerequisite for a nice, big ass
>her ass isn't that great

Is that a female (male)?

>she feels bloated
She is bloated, dumbass.
lol
>falling for the thicc meme

What do you snap back? Pictures of your muscles?

>using Snapchat

Are you a child? This isn’t a braggable event.

Post a pic of her you spastic

You're retarded.
Go sit on facebook and post pics of ur food with boomers while the cool kids are getting nudes from hot chicks you loser

until you bang her, shes just leading you on like she's leading on 10 other guys like you, fag.

prove me wrong

this

wtf

I had this happen a few months back with some Swedish chick I met on TC

Except I ghosted her and she messaged me once out of the blue
>boyfriend?

Last time she said something like that she tried playing it off as a joke. Right...

Sad truth

>talk to a whore about common interest
LOL you're never gonna make it. You never talk to girls about "interests". You feign a little interest and mostly just meme at them until they fuck.

>most of all be a fucking man
>writes a paragraph about being beta as fuck.

faking interests and memeing is beta as fuck fyi

my penis is all oiled up and ready to get jammed iya

I knew this girl in highschool, never really talked at all just knew her as that one with the tits. Hung out at a few high school get togethers since then and got to know her, but then last summer she posts on Facebook I need a workout buddy so I'm like "okay why not"

Now I've lost a lot of weight since highschool, then lifted for 2 years, so when she saw me I guess it was a bit of a shock. We were scanning in our passes and she kept spilling all her shit on the floor

screencap related and yeah I just took a picture of my phone with another phone shut up

Brehs, if you make someone spaghetti unintentionally, does it count?

>several years ago
>get pain radiating in groin
>head to hospital
>female Asian doctor comes in room
>gets general info from me
>asks me to drop pants to she can inspect
>looking at ceiling because I feel awkward
>"user, do you mind if we bring in a student resident? You can say no"
>this while she is rubbing her thumb on my testicles to feel for tumors
>I said sure
>another, smaller, Asian woman enters
>she goes red
>head doctor tells her my symptoms
>asks her to go inspect me
>herewego.jpg
>head doctor begins grilling her on male anatomy
>running through every possible scenario of what my symptoms could be
>the resident doctor is attempting to inspect my testicles while describing what it could be
>she can't form a coherent sentence
>she panics when asked about STD's
>I Bert stared

I've never wanted to escape a room in my life. It was as if the head doctor was playing some game with her, trying to expose her, and using me as a prop. It was like the beginning to a porn scene or something, but this was very very real, and I was terrified while it was happening. I think this was the first time the resident doctor had ever seen a penis in person.

It's also hard not to get hard when two Asian women are inspecting your dick.

my peepee always shrinks on doctor inspections. Never big peepee :(

kek nice job user. keep on lifting!

That sucks. My dick always achieves maximum chub when exposed to other’s eyes. Even longer chub than normal. Think it’s some kind of instinctive response to attract a mate.

>tell her to reduce sodium, stack vitamin D and cut water intake in half for a day

shit advice

If anything, you need to increase water intake to flush out the sodium.

Or just flex a cep cause you're not a faggot

Kill yourself sheep.