/mirin/ general

>be me
>with mother at bank
>teller says "Oh, you brought your bodyguard to the bank today?"

perhaps i'm getting thiccer after all.

Good on you, Skyler. You'll be able to guard the door while the teller pounds your mother.

>be me in high school
>was not Veeky Forums
>hanging out with cheerleader crush at gym class
>always wearing hoodie because el autismo
>she says she’s never seen me with it off and asks me to take off the hoodie and show her my arms
>do it and pull up my shirt sleeve and flex(minimal 14 year old arm gains from tennis and masturbating to the extreme)
>her and her friend both go “holy SHIT user! you’re not allowed to wear your hoodie anymore!”
>wear it anyway cuz fuck you stacey
>sophomore year while I’m walking to tennis practice she sees me and yells I love you user infront of all her cheerleader friends
>look at her then turn and walk away
>my autism made me look like turbo chad in front of the cheerleaders and tennis team
>everyone unironically thought I was chad the rest of high school

kek, got me goin

>At work
>Hoisting the elderly
>Coworker mirin my forearms
>Thank you diddlies
>Look at the part of my forearm shes lookin at
>Shes looking at my nasty oven burn scar i got from making frozen pizza back when i was a fatty
So close...

>Cuddling and watching super bowl with my tiny 5'2" gf
>Suddenly feel both her hands on my arm
>"Wow user, I can't even get both hands around your arm"
>I flex the bicep
>"That's not fair"
>Giggles and flops over my lap

feelsgoodman

>be me
>doing rows on a machine
>across from me and to my right I see two small-ish girls, looks like they're in high school
>they're trying desperately to bench press 65 pounds.
>I just look straight into the mirror as I do the rows
>sometimes I catch one of them looking my way, smiling
Don't wanna go to jail so I didn't do anything, but it was flattering and a good jump for the good ole self confidence

Or a faggot since you didn’t lock that shit down

The perfection in this is astonishing

>Working as a bartender
>Socially awkward, but never aware of it
>Two girls drinking at my bar
>Tipping phat as fuck
>One of the girls says, wow I really like your pants
>Thank you
>It's a really nice cut, perfect for your body
>Yeah I just bought them, they're new
>Big dumb fucking grin
>They shut up, finish their drinks, leave
>Old guy at the bar says, Jesus Christ kid, you really fucked that up

>Old guy at the bar says, Jesus Christ kid, you really fucked that up
Kek
I hope you learned your lesson.

>work as bank teller
>Old Asian lady comes in every few weeks
>She's really nice but always tries to leave us money
>She has 2 CDs so we can't redeposit what she tries to leave us
>She always sees me and says:

>Yu handsome! Yu big man! Yu just like big horrywood star!
>Always thank her graciously
>Tfw big man

W-what were you supposed to do? That sounds like a perfectly reasonable response to me

...

Same here. Maybe he was supposed to flex a 'cep or something, I dunno.

>a big man

What he should have done:
>Yeah, that shirt fits your boo-torso nicely

Proceed to reach across the counter and make out with them both

>I look better without them

>crashing this dragon with no survivors

Made me chuckle

>been working out in the country
>called back to the city for a fight
>decide to get in some practice when I arrive
>bitch who called me won't tell me who my opponent is
>doesn't matter
>besides her dad pays good money
>chill for a couple of days
>lift and prep for the big fight
>the day comes
>stroll on out in to the ring
>see some dyel chilean man on the other side of the ring
>chatting with his smoking hot gf
>hear her says "he's the biggest man I've ever seen!"
>uMirin.jpg
>feels good desu
>scrawny fucker ask if I know who he is
>fuck off, you aren't zyzz dyel boy
>"some dead man" I shout
>take a few swings at the fag
>little fucker is fast
>he gets light jabs in
>gets me on the floor
>the guy won't stop screaming about his sister
>some side pussy I had years ago
>manage to trip him up
>lose it and crush his head in like pic related
>hear his girlfriend scream
she totally wants the D right guys? Should I get her number

cringe

kek

...

feels good when girl says something similar when giving hj

Not trying to be a buzzkill but older women are very touchy for some reason.
t. my mom's friends would touch me a lot but they all had super-chad husbands and I was and continue to be an ugly DYEL

>real life Norman Rockwell painting

OH NONONONONO

holy shit what's up

kek

I knew from the first 3 lines you were doing some shtick, can't believe i didn't get which sooner

The unfortunate thing about being socially awkward and not knowing it is that no, no I have not

Kek

For fuck's sake you made my day, bro. Thanks.

>I would have just smiled and went back to work

Some women rely solely on attracting primal desire out of men, because most women don't know what men want outside of pussy.

...

...

Lately I've been wanting nothing out of pussy if you catch my drift.

I mean I'm still fat but my dad said I was starting to look okay and some girl felt my cep, but she's taken so there's that. Feels a little good I guess, still got a ton of work to put in tho

Naw.

men, have you seen his twitter

How do I tell the difference between legit mire and that fake shit people do when you drop weight? I was 350lbs and now I'm 190lbs-ish, when I first started lossing weight I got all that "looking good" stuff and what not. When I got to the low 200s I started getting female do workers telling me they wanted to take me out to celebrate and friendly stuff like that. When I really started hitting the gym I started to get women like coming up to me and rubbing my chest and shoulders and dumb stuff like that. I've never really talked or even interacted with women before (I'm 28 year old virgin who only ever gotten a kiss from my prom date who only went to the prom with me because I was firends with her brother and my mom made my sister go with my friend).

no homo nice face id fuck you

you're pretty good

You are a great american.

girthlet, dicklet, delet this

Oh shit he got you there mate

pic related came from my future housemate who's parents are full on Jehovah's witnesses

>looks like this is the year I smash boipuss lads

"Haha thanks. So where are you guys from?"

>talking to tinder sloot
>she texts me at 11pm saying shes drunk
>meet her in her car outside my apartment
>start making out and put her hand on my cock
>"ohh user you're so big, you're not even black!
>she gives me bj, but doesn't let me put my penis inside her because i dont have a condom
>hits me up the week after and comes over, tells me she got on birth control for me
>cum inside her pussy all night and then kick her out

>"ohh user you're so big, you're not even black!
>getting anywhere near a coalburner
how did that bbc sperm taste?

birth control doesn't work that quick buddy

I just got back from the gym, this girl and I were looking at each other the whole time. This doesn't happen often, I was wearing a really small tank and had a good chest pump. She never smiled or anything so was she just checking me out like I was her? Like she thought I was hot but she has a bf?

>"ohh user you're so big, you're not even black!

please dont tell me people actually say this

she probably just watched a lot of bbc porn haha. saw her ig and pics of her ex it was sad honestly. her ex was some chinese manlet dyel

ive only been working out for 4 months so i dont get mired

>SS + GOMAD
>start looking big
>start looking actually chubby, have somewhat of a belly
>still feel comfortable wearing t-shirts around campus
>can perfectly notice many girls mirin
>from cars
>when walking past them

holy shit how is this possible?

oh boy.!

>Start lifting, trying to acquire aesthetics and strength
>Get thicc
>Women do not say anything to me, no different to when i was skinnyfat
>Gay men now notice me and are incredibly more aggressive with their compliments and advances, most of them are extremely ugly
>Develop love for fat big tiddy women
>They want nothing to do with me because of their own insecurity

...thanks Veeky Forums

>be me, 215# ~15-16% bf, 6'3''
>going out with buddy to this bar that sells cigs and overall comfy place to hang out
>winter time so wearing unbutton flannel over tshirt, sleeves rolled up below elbos
>walking through crowd, happy to be alive, kind of smirking to myself and at people i'm walking past
>pass circle of qt's on way to the bar
>dude in their group (maybe gay idk who cares) reaches out and squeezes my arm
>dang man killer bicep
>hey thanks bro i've been juicin
>grls laff and smile real big
>walk to bar buy a couple cigs and a beer, the 'tender gives me a light and i turn around and smile at the girls

mfw

she actually did. and i'm just your average penis 6.5 inches LOL. her ig had pics of her ex and he was some chubby chinese dyel manlet so anyone was an upgrade at that point lol.

>sit near the end of a row in extremely crowded lecture
>in between two other dudes with 2 open seats in the middle of the row
>(as always by the way cunts never fill a row from the middle)
>two girls ask if they can sit
>''oh no need to get up just scoot :3"
>dude at the end was already standing
>girls slide in next to me
>the one next to me is wearing a skintight dress
>thinks she's steaming hot shit
>7/10 face with a weak dnb body
>she keeps looking at my veiny hands (it was warm in there)
>I reach for my bottle of water, which is in my bag between our seats
>bag is leaning against her leg
>I fumble with the bottle because it was stuck in my bag
>she lets out a little moan
>''yawns" and leans back, throws her hands in the air and tries to show off her body
>I get the bottle out of my bag and take a sip :^)

After that she kept rubbing shoulders and left her hands on my side table. (space invading = not okay btw) I just kinda ignored her and tried to follow the lecture. When we the lecture finished she turned away from me and filled her bag, bending over and leaning her bum into me

I'm pretty sure she was mirin but she was waayy to confident for her body

What are you studying?
>tfw engineer

this

or literally anything that segways into a conversation that you can get their number out of

end it with

you( guys) seem pretty cool, heres my number

>he fell for the SS meme

arms neck matter most outside of shirtless

I'm the contrary. I don't squat at all

tax law :(

Plz respond

probably just checking you out but has no intentions of fucking you.

This is a funny one.
>walking through park with qt fiancé
> girl approaching us jogging
> wearing sunglasses so always discreetly checking out other chicks because alpha
>there’s a low chain across trail because it’s technically closed
> qt jogger is checking out my muscles (wearing tank and ranger panties)
>tries to impress us both by attempting to jump over chain
>slow motion catches chain with foot and proceeds to face plant
>feels bad for her but still fighting back laughter
> ask her if she’s okay, she gets up without a word almost in tears running away
>me and fiancé die of laughter when qt is out of sight

you fucking blew it user, from now on whenever any women makes slight eye contact with you i want you to approach them with a really angry expression on your face, get real close to them and say

>WHAT THE FUCK ARE YOU LOOKING AT??

the alpha of it all will make the woman immediately crave your cock and sperm and she'll prolly jump your bones on the spot.

You missed your chance user. Every time a woman makes eye contact you have to fuck her on the spot.

Thx for reply but I have a gf

>has a gf

don't be a fag user

...

Hard to know with grills, but probably, yes.

>Working out for 2 years now at the same gym.
>see new influx of New year resolutioners
> notice new girl checking me out through mirrors while im squatting my 3 plates
>ever since i noticed her, she now always works out near me and comes to the gym at the same time I go. Always does butt exercises near me and tries to see if im checking her out or not.

It's easy to fuck up like that when you're focused on working.

Can someone please tell me what you're supposed to do when you make eye contact with people in the gym? How is it different for guys and girls?
Whenever I catch eyes with people I always look away but I'm not intimidated by them, I just feel like its the courteous thing to do.

It's February and you haven't smashed yet. What are you waiting for?

Do something you pussy.

i have anxiety just reading about this

why dont you just fuck her? what is going on with you?

>resting
>see some swole dude passing by, recognize him due to his haircut
>this time he has some girl that looks way younger than him
>she looks at me for a few secs as she passes by
>do my last set
>look around and catch her looking at me again
>pick up my shit and leave

I dunno

I'd like to blame working, but it's just not that user haha

cute pic

Hello darkness my old friend