Asking Veeky Forums because it's vaguely 'sexual health' related and I guess most of you here get laid

Good shit, user.

You can do the whole good girl/bad girl thing

>Have you been a good girl today?

The answer doesn't matter much. If they say no, then you say "Oh, so you need to be punished" and fuck them hard while saying stuff like "are you going to listen next time?" "are you going to be good?" "promise me you won't do that again"

if they say yes then fuck them hard and say something like "you're such a good girl that's why you get this good dick"

Based user

Wew. The cringe.

This belongs in /adv/, and fit no longer even has "health" in the title

>and I guess most of you here get laid

>virgin

This is something I thought about too, but didn't know if people actually did this. My sex life was pretty vanilla aside from the occasional bondage.

I tried there, but that board is just a fucking mess

>I guess most of you here get laid.

Stopped reading right there.

>I guess most of you here get laid.

Why do you insist on hurting people

women are worthless whores

...

>and I guess most of you here get laid.
h-heh, yeah bro just drink from my fountain of experience

She told me to give her 9 inches and make it hurt
So I fucked her twice
Then told her that her sister gives better head

underated

Poor mans version of this chick

>pathetic tryhard fake alpha who fucks uglies

Don't say anything. If you don't enjoy it then don't. Or if there's something you wanna say then say it. Save yourself the embarrassment

"do you even lift?"

This is bad guys. Cringed pretty hard at the dialogue.

How'd you do it then?

>I guess most of you here get laid.

MILK TRUCK JUST ARRIVE BOYYYYSSSSSSSSSSSSSSSSSSSSSSSSSSSSSSSSSSSS

whisper in her ear:

HeylilmammaletmewhisperinyoureargotsomethinthatIthinkyoumightwannahereyougotasexyassbootyandyoasslooksoftmindifitouchitandseeifitssoft?

lol who cares, when you are in the throes of passion you can say stupid shit and it doesn't matter. some women don't like being called bitch tho.

Hey bitch just wait til you see my dick.

I usually pick one line. Example being "That/Your pussy feels so good." I'll just whisper it, kinda very hushed tone softly into their ear during missionary or doggy while fucking slowly. As the tempo of the sex picks up increase the intestity of what you're saying. Instead of
>that pussy feels so good
Say
>that PUSSY feels so good
Emphasize whatever word you want. Doesn't really matter. Once you get to jack hammer phase I'll move from kissing the neck/ whispering in their ear to holding their head to mine while looking in their eyes (missionary) or choking her from behind (doggy). This is the part where you throw swear words in.
>that PUSSY feels so FUCKing good
Really anything works but this is my method for dirty talk over the course of 1-5 minutes with the goal of building the girl up and getting them into what I'm saying.

>promise me you won't do that again

start off with a slow
>ooo.. oohohahah

And go full jack hammer
>OooOhjh h FUCKING HAHAHAHA

Like this?

That one only works with black chicks.

kekd

who dat

This has unironically worked for me
>recently out of relationship
>using Tinder
>meet Jewish chick
>looks significantly better in pics, no reason to date her
>we end up getting coffee and go back to my place
>start kissing
>I'm not really into it but she's taking her clothes off
>fuck it
>say "I'm chimping out! I'm going wild!"
>"Lol what do you mean user?"
>"I'm going ape!"
>she's confused and laughing
>I tell her this is my fetish
>nofap so I'm still hard just from looking at her naked
>we fuck and I make chimp noises
I had to stop when I wanted to cum but it was pretty funny

Not him, but you could not have described me better

youtube.com/watch?v=TXVAPFlCHVY Listen to Gachi remixes for 12 hours straight then you'll be a dirty talking expert

>I guess most of you here get laid

Some random roastie, I save some of the good ones that pop on my discover to post here.

Funny enough I posted her in a Biz thread and an user replied that had hooked up with her in highschool. He said she is a major slut and know details about her so I'm inclined to believe him lol.

My sides.
Luv u fit

kek

...

...

Im dead kek

My girlfriend refers to herself as mommy when she's dirty talking me. Hope that helps.

Give her aggressive compliments and tell her what you want to do to her, how good her pusy feels, ect.

As long as it makes you happy user

softly whisper dial up modem sounds in her ear

...

>"talk dirty to me"
>y-you too

>>Look her in her eyes and say "holy shit" then wait for her to say what then you say "youre so fucking hot"
This is just great

tell her you want her to cum all over that cock and that you're fucking her so good and want her to cum so bad for you and shit like that and she'll eventually orgasm. easy peasy

You are joking but this is actually good advice

>"talk dirty to me"
pleb fetish, pump and dump.
better yet, [spoiler]talk about boring, monotonous shit while you ravage her.[/spoiler]

ask her if she wants the ol' natty lickeroo

it helps if she's into the daddy thing. i think sensory deprivation like blindfolding is also a great way to make it fun. of course, pinning, choking, spanking, biting ears, and so on.

you should just experiment with it as you go - i actually think it's more fun taking a self-aware approach to it, especially if she's easy going, instead of trying to play it cool like some james bond shit the whole way through. girls who expect that are too high maintenance, their demands will be reflected in day to day life. not that it matters if it's just a fling.

>"wow im so fuckin lucky"
lol i can't believe i made it that far into your post without having an aneurysm from cringing so hard

OP is karlee grey she's a pornstar

also lol'd at

good post bro

This isn't Veeky Forums related. Go to

Women are turned on by moaning and growling the most, at least for me. It's hard to make yourself do it after jerking off quietly for over a decade but you just need to let yourself go primal desu. Aside from that, tell her she's a good girl, your little slut, ask her if she likes what you're doing (not in a needy or scared way tho), tell her how turned on you are, command her to do things, describe different parts of her as you're feeling them.
Don't think too much about saying these things or else it'll come out really stilted and autistic. Just be dominant and vocal and the rest will follow naturally.
Oh yeah and if you want to change positions just throw them around, girls love that shit.

Genuine lold

Fool proof advice here O.P i was once a vocalet during sex she when your eating her pussy make noise like your eating something delicious grab her by the thighs and tell her that this pussy is yours once your down to business play with her pussy teasing about putting it in sometimes they get so aroused the grab it and stick it in at which point grab her by the neck and tell her did i tell tou to put it in? Do not underestimate choking at the bottom most part of the throat 7/10 girls love this other than that i dont say much

El Golem americano....
El arcángel de los mixtos....

>Asking Veeky Forums because it's vaguely 'sexual health' related and I guess most of you here get laid
>I guess most of you here get laid

>wow im so fucking lucky

LMAO

sauce?

Fuck sakes, I'm laughing on the shitter at work

the easiest one is to sternly command them to move however you want. Simple things that are commands you give them, not questions or suggestions, like move your leg, bend your back, etc, combined with the fact you're in the middle of fucking them, and hopefully being at least kinda rough physically (for example, if you are a muscular dude women love to have your bodyweight squishing them (yes this a bloatpill)) should be fine. A lot of women like you making "noise" but its fine to just breath heavily with your face near theirs or grunt/moan a little when she does something you like.

If you still struggle do nofap and get really drunk before fucking

feelin fit buddy?
>wow im so fuckin lucky

>and I guess most of you here get laid.
AHAHAHAHAHAHAHAAHAHAHHAHAHHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHA

>Snd breathe hot air on their neck, chicks like that
just this is enough desu, and not just her neck, her ear too, while sucking and biting the earlobe
when fucking missionary, do all of the above, while actually going underneath and grabbing her ass, and laying your weight on her slightly. try not to squish her tho. it sounds awkward of a position but once you do it it feels natural
also, do not hold your breath at any point, and breath out through your mouth. you can even make a slight grunt here and there.
the idea of the whole thing is for her to know that you are also enjoying yourself and that you are relaxed, which in turn relaxes and makes her feel good about herself and feel validated

lol shit nigga if i knew you'd posting tonight i wouldn't have done abs today

I have a hypothesis that a lot of women genuinely enjoy stuff that guys think is really cringey, and that the secret to success with women is demeaning yourself enough to say cutesy shit to entertain them.

Why does this dumb shit crack me up every time?