Guys, need help

Guys, need help

Been at the gym for 5 hours and counting

>originally went at 0200
>24 hour fitness center, scan cards to get it
>on the drive over feel the urge to have massive bowel movement
>scan in, gym of course is empty, or so I thought
>parking lot had 0 cars in it besides mine when I pulled in
>walk in bathroom
>all 3 stalls were taken... even a dude in the shower
>maybe they ran here... but it’s super odd and the poop is slowly descending so don’t have much time
>I go into the WOMENS bathroom which of course is empty
>I’ve been to this gym at the exact time, and it’s usually empty until like 3-4am, so I have a little less than an hour to get the fuck out of here
>woman enters the bathroom
>she runs the sink water and plays music loud on her phone
>she doesn’t fucking leave
>more women come in to change in the locker rooms
>some have finished their workouts and are showering
>it’s about that time when the gym staff set up shop and start manning the desk

I don’t know what to do. I’m thirsty and hungry now. I don’t know if I can play off the transgender thing and pretend I intended to go in this bathroom. My phone battery is nearly dead. Please give ideas

cut your dick off

Just get out, don't say anything, if the police catches you, just tell the truth.
What I'd like to know is why did you go to the women's if you knew that men's are fucking full, what the fuck did you expect to happen?

I figured they would acknowledge that they took all three stalls so if I stepped out and saw them I could just nod my head up and they’d understand, “hey a dude walked in a little bit ago and walked out after walking towards the stalls.”

I need someone who might possibly live near Clark NJ, I need someone to pull a fire alarm but Call the fire department and say it’s a test or something. I’m at 5%

leave, and if anyone asks, you identified as female for a little bit and then decided it wasn't for you

I just called the gym saying there is a dude trapped in the woman's bathroom

What I mean is if the men's restroom is full, then women's is gonna be full as well. It's one if the basic rules of shittaking, for fuck's sake.

Actually please do it is probably the only option at this point
7326546239

> This thread

Great thread OP , best of luck my friend.

Tell us what gym it is, ill email them

Just say you identify as a woman today.
>problem solved

About to call anytime fitness and tell them that there’s a man trapped in the women’s washroom, is that the right one, OP?

>not raping the hottest one to assert locker room authority

common OP, it's like you've never been to a gym before

post pic with timestamp for proof, not taking your bait yet

You better get out of there soon before they think you're trying to skip penis inspection. The punishment for that is way worse, trust me.
t. dicklet

They’re not answering, sorry OP, I tried

Post a picture of the stall door user.

Wait until there's only one woman left and say
>Hey what are you doing in the men's room
in a slightly confused but still masculine tone

hah

This

wtf man
just walk out and ignore everyone
then walk to the sink, wash your hands, and walk out
if someone says something, just give them the 1000mile stare and ignore them afterwards

I got out...

I ended up turning the valve for the water supply off, the little pipe thing that connects to the toilet and to the wall...and took the small little galvanized flexible pipe thingy out and just waited

Fucking waited until I heard only 1-2 people

I walked out of the stall with the pipe thing... and there were 2 girls in towels that just stared at me in dead silence

I walked out of the bathroom... meanwhile acting like I was inspecting the pipe in my hand

But I don’t know if I can ever go there again. I think they know. I was wearing gym shorts and a white T, plumbers don’t wear that shit.

They are calling my phone now

Pic related

what a great day

> Sir, did you steal part of our plumbing system?

Bullshit, post pipe

I’m fucked

>walk into women's bathroom
>not enough
>steal plumbing from gym
>achievement for the day accomplished

>turn phone off
>don't go back for a week
>pretend lIke nothing ever happened

this is how I would play it

Better answer before they throw you in the manlet pit user. It’s lonely down here.

Return the pipe you dumb fuck, jezus.

You could say you were PLUMB out of luck.

How do they even know it's you?

Cctv crossed with id card login

Either never go back, or answer and explain what happened

include my in the screencap please

>this thread

...

WHATEVER IT TAKES CMON

It’s my scan card, you can scan out and it logs your workout time and you can participate in this weird point system and after like 1,000 points you can get a water bottle or a hand towel.

Kill me now

my fucking sides. include me in the cap

If you stop having autism for two minutes and explain the situation, everything will be fine. I know that's a lot to expect, but please.

...

I love you, Veeky Forums

Here is your story

You confused the door and you fainted inside

Play dumb. Real dumb. Thats your only way out.

Yup they ... they fucking know

This would probably work

Give them the pipe back, tell them u took three scoops of preworkout

Srs.
This.
Just apologise, admit you were wrong, and say you couldn't think of anything better to do after being trapped in there for HOURS.

Scratch that. Just bring the fucking pipe back you retard

>(low confidence)
Wow they even know your mental state

For god's sake, one of you american cunts call OP's gym and explain the fucking situation for him. Emphasize that OP has heavy autism.

I'm Australian, so doesn't work with my dialect.

Fucking kek

like there aren't aussies in the US

I don't want to pay international rates.

LOLOL

Shown us the pipe. You're quite committed to this larp.

My sides are in fucking orbit holy shit OP

...

I did this at uni once, just walk out and keep walking until you're in your car. Leave the gym and never come back.

It’s in my car, in class now I’ll upload pic

>white sip

Great thread OP

Aka hold on gotta run to the hardware store for a pipe

Send the gym staff a link to this thread

Never change Veeky Forums, you autistic white sip pipe thieves

put me in the /r/Veeky Forums screenshot and remember to thank the backsnap gorilla

I'm a plumber. I will check out the pipe he posts. I'm going to see this thread through to the bitter end.

>sipboy
all is forgiven brother

>Veeky Forums goes in women’s locker room
>stays there for 5 hours in the stall
>takes apart plumbing in order to have an alibi
>takes plumbing connector
>leaves gym
>doesn’t even work out
>goes to class while Anytime Fitness is blowing his phone up
>sipping on a white sip

Zyzz in heaven is disappointed.... disapointed af

someone email the gym this thread

This better be included in new year's comic.

Zyzz is in Hell

So instead of walking out of the stall and explaining to any possible woman that gets triggered that the men's rooms stalls were full, you made it a lot worse and broke and stole from their plumbing. You're so autistic you deserve what's coming.

home gym master race

Pls respond OP we need to see the pipe

This, shit like this doesn't happen if you work out at home

please be real
you're so socially impaired you're almost cute

the biggest problem ive ever had whilst lifting at home was activating my almonds

It’s this thing

It was connected to the toilet to the wall

just bring it back and admit you fucked up boyo

Great job OP

alpha as fuark.

MADMAN
A
D
M
A
N

I’m at work and laughed out loud thrice, thanks.

How do we know that's not the one from your toilet?

right when I start to question why I ever come here, shit like this pulls me back in

Holy shit this thread is golden

L E G E N D A R Y

...

Send them mail saying you'll cut it up and send it in pieces if they don't pay your ransom of $6.49 (the exact price for premium chicken tendies)

Someone send this thread to the gym staff Mr. Hanley at Anytime Fitness

Oh wait Hanley is OPs name. Anyway let's send this thread to Anytime Fitness just for laughs.

Why is this guy able to lift at a gym and I’m too afraid to use the bench?

...

Mods pls delete thread

Will return pipe and restore diplomatic relations with anytime fitness

You know they will get angrier the longer you wait, you can also get threads from the archive again.

I still think you're larping. why didn't you take a pic of the stall?

this

Imagine how the poor gym staff feel. They're probably worrying the way you did when Kristen didn't answer.

All they can think of is you being plowed by Chad.