Massage Thread

I've had several deep tissue massages, mainly for shoulder and back issues. It's like a workout. I sweat like a motherfucker and was sore for a week afterward. They're good but they are not relaxing in the least.

One time the dude said I had tension in my neck. He grabbed each of my sternoclidomastoids between his fingers and pulled like he was trying to rip them out of their insertions.

>be me
>go to a massage parlor for the first time
>ask for a 1h30min massage
>"do you want your therapist to be a boy or a girl"
>innocently choose boy since it's logical to pick the stronger one for a satisfying massage
>go to massage room and strip leaving my shorts on
>male therapist says "Sir, please take off your shorts"
>just complied since it would be probably easier for him to do his job
>underpants are left
>started off from the head
>feels good
>fast forward
>he was done massaging my back
>he starts folding my underpants so the cleavage of my ass is seen
>wtf.jpg
>ask if that was necessary
>it was
>o-okay
>feels weird
>okay sir, please face front
>follows and back to the ordinary massage
>fast forward
>finishes massaging my hand
>proceeds to massage my pelvis
>touched my balls by accident
>AAAAAAAAAAA.mp3
>stand up and make him stop
>made an excuse about me being in a hurry then left.

Although I never picked a male therapist aftet that, I still felt molested Veeky Forums even though he probably didn't have any bad intentions.

Out of the closet when?

>get to be intensely touched by a person for ONE AND A HALF HOURS
>picks a man
>''wtf, this is awkward!''

Are happy endings a porn meme?

There are real massages, applied by real physiotherapists, and there are whores who will touch your back for a while then make you cum.

Depends on what you're looking for.

Alright for real, in my city there's loads of thai and other asian massages.

Are happy endings a meme or does this really happen?

I'm looking for a real massage from a licensed massage therapist. That's why I'm nervous about popping a boner.

no I’ve gotten at least five, but anything other than a handjob and feeling them up is a porn meme

So you don't actually get to fuck them?

Fuck that

Deep tissue is god send.

Yeah you do. Just tip the fucking old lady a ton of money up front. Then tip the girl. Come back a couple of times and they'll fuck you.

...

Professional massage parlors are generally underwear optional. It's best to take them off, and cover your ass with a towel. I'm a horny virgin and I've never got an erection, even from a sexy masseuse rubbing my ass. It just feels like a professional environment, and you aren't there for sex. If you get an erection, just say "sorry I didn't mean to". They're used to it.

You won't. If it's deep tissue, which you'll want, it will hurt too much to feel sexual. I mean, unless you're into sadomasochism.

yes you can fuck them
normally costs $140 for full service here
t.asian massage parlor connoisseur

You don't have to be. I went to one who has served top athletes in my country, and I can say to you that my back is more sore today than it has ever been.

it’s literally impossible to get fs at the parlor I used to go to

gimme dem nyc recs

Registered massage therapist here, male.

On my table, I leave it up to the client. My draping is impeccable.
Erections happen on the table, it's no biggie. It's when moaning, touching or hip gyrations start that we shut things down and ask you to leave the session.

As for the gender of the therapist working on you, It's up to you. Most clinics have therapist bio's so you can see who does the work you need.

Let me know if there is anything I can answer for you, I'm in Ontario, Canada.

then find one that does

>It's when moaning, touching or hip gyrations start that we shut things down and ask you to leave the session.

This is what I'm more afraid of than an erection desu, I make a lot of noise lifting and when my gf gives me 'massages' is groaning really that big of a deal? I try to keep it down but sometimes a few come out

Most massage and body work places fucking suck at giving you any sort of actual beneficial massage.

Not that it doesn't feel good if the girl puts in the work. I usually go in day after a full body workout and a bit sore. You tell her you like it really hard and changes are because she's like 100lb she'll get up on top of you for leverage.

The happy ending is the only real reason to go. The nice oiled up hj, bj, and you get to grop on their fake tiddies and ass. if you find a good place that trusts you you can get full service.

My biggest issue is that every one of these joints is run primarily by 40+ chinese bitches that have gone over the wall. Very rare will you find an actual reasonably aged decent looking chick who does this shit

It's really not an issue. They keep your groin covered by a sheet or towel almost the whole time, and boners are pretty common. Just relax and let it dissipate on its own.

A real deep tissue massage is not going to have you moaning in pleasure. They hurt like fuck.

There was a local place that got raided a few months back that had 20 year old chicks with anime bodies. They offered 4 hand massage for free.

Fucking raged when I found out they were shut down. Everywhere else is just old uggos.

That's the good shit. Too good to last

I dont mean in pleasure, I mean in pain

I get massaged weekly by a female licensed physiotherapist. Have had a some boners in the period since mostly when I'm horny, but she's super professional and never had any issues.
Don't worry

this pretty much
having chest massage(torax lymphatic massage) to get ride of the scar tissue from gyno surgery and mid massage I had a phone call that I had to answer and I was laying down, elevated my neck a bit and she started to deep massage my traps, holy FUCK did it felt like torture but the after-sensation is pretty nice.
She even told me to one day call her to give me a full body massage like that one

How can one learn massage, when each school seems stuffed with bullshit?
Chiropractic is bullshit. Ditto for acupuncture.

Yet every school, every sports therapy place swears by these assholes.

I wouldn't think so little of massage if they kept their claims professional and clear. As it is, beyond 'it feels good' there is really little to recommend them.

I would like to add, that a massage tech who provides a happy ending DOES provide a professional, clear and decent service. At least you know what benefit you get.

With any other massage, dig into their claims and you will find out that all they can say is you will feel better.

Honestly try comparing it (cost/benefit analysis) with a handie from an aging crack-whore, or a nap. Massage starts looking a bit shit when you realize a nap provides EVERYTHING which a massage can honestly claim, and costs a wee bit less.

This

Gotta go for the long haul and you may as well try to do with a regular girl at that point 2bh if your gonna drop all that money

I mostly swim and bike to stay in shape so I usually go for a massage after a tough couple workouts, usually weekly. I go to either an Asian place that’s just cheap but does well, $40/session. There’s also a monthly membership place I go to but they don’t often have good therapists as they turnover a lot, but I’ve found some decent ones. I ask they apply heavy pressure and do feel it helps quicken recovery.

It's contextual, like if I'm really working a spot I'm sorta expecting to elicit a response do see how you are responding. Also some slow, smooth glides are so relaxing a sigh of relief is also common. Again, it's pretty contextual with the vibe of the session.

Just enjoy having your muscles worked on while the rest of the world and it's demands are held back for an hour or so.

Do your research. In Ontario, the CMTO releases statistics on the pass rates of each school. I picked one with a good score and reputation and it's made applying for positions fairly easy, even though I am a male therapist

Maybe try looking for a place that does therapeutic massage? That's like walking into a pizza restaurant and asking for sushi... At best, you might get some anchovies but that's hardly the same, is it?

>go to Asian massage parlor
>ask for 1 hr ($60)
>pay $120

She'll take it from there OP

>innocently choose boy since it's logical to pick the stronger one for a satisfying massage

Not that user but I considered picking a male because I felt like I couldn't relax with a hot girl rubbing on me.

Laffin at this nevernude

>implying it'll be a hot girl

>implying it wasn't

I ended up feeling pretty relaxed though.

1. They ask you what areas you'd like for them to focus on, 5 min consult
2. Yes, you are covered with a towel though
3. Yes you will get a boner, just from how relaxed you will be though, it can be from anyone. It doesn't matter though because you're lying on your belly most of the time and covered with a blanket too. This ain't their first rodeo if they do notice, they just don't care.

Is there any way I could contact you? I have health coverage now and could do with a deep tissue massage. Oakville/Milton bro here

Lmao having a dick must suck
>vulva masterrace

>tfw you go to an asian whore house and a girl that works there looks like anri

Ill be sad when they close the place down

wh...where would that place be user.
i have a few thousand dollars in travel funds

i go for couple massage so that i know its legit and i dont get a tug offer at the end. also think about the whore that was rubbing my girl next time we fuck and usually get a pretty good pop out of it. i also keep some undies on but had one whore go out of her way to touch the head of my dick multiple times

dallas
shes out of town for a month tho
her kegels are crazy which is why I pretty much only see her

oh god
oh god
oh god
going to dallas

>Ill be sad when they close the place down
Get her info dude. Also name of place? ; ) I'm just a few hours away

what city do you practice in? is this Jeremy you cunt

rileysmassage.com/rileys-specials

>sexualising a massage
Go to a Thai shop for that