Gym shooter walks in

>gym shooter walks in
what do

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>take cover behind random machine
>draw underwear gun
>return fire and kill him

Idk, doesn’t seem that complicated to me.

>not conceal carrying during your workouts
Not gonna make it

shield the masses with your gargantuan neck, of course

wait, you DID take the neckpill, right?

Shoot him with the sks I keep above the squat rack, so manlets cant reach it.

IT AINT ME starts playing

>throw manlets at him
>charge forward using gym thot as a shield
>crush his skull with barbell
>finally have the courage to ask out moosey

>how about THESE GUNS? POW!
>flex a 'cep
>when he falls over in awe of your physique OHP him and throw him out the window
>heh just another day at the office...

I'm a /fit fag so i know karate, muay tai, judo and a secret martial art that i learnt in a Buda monasterium; so probably id go straight to him and save the day bruh

Hide and don't pull out a gun, or the police will think you're the shooter, and you'll be dead. Best just keep on working out pretending you haven't heard/seen anything. Fkin gain goblin I swear to God.

Save my oneitis’ life, perhaps sacrificing my life for her

I piss on the floor to mark my territory.

>trys to pull conceal carry out of his ass
>it is too tight from the 4pl8 squats lmao
>die from accidentally triggering it
>shooter pisses himself from laughing along with the entire gym

kek

Finish my set and walk out

start slinging plates like they ain't no weight BABAY! C'MON!

dual wield 2.5 lb plate in each hand and charge the shooter michael brown style i'll either get him or go to valhalla

>shooter
>implying the police wont be hiding in the bushes outside while the sheriff is on the phone telling the appointed "victims" to start rehearsing their lines

>finish my set of 3x5 (doing SS)
>chug half gallon of milk
>tighten my weightlifting belt another 3 notches
>hold my breath and squat hop over to the assailant (low bar)
>milk now curdling in stomach
>assume ATG position in front of opponent
>roll over on my back
>remove squat plug and spray liquid diarrhea milk curdles all over the assailant while shouting "HIP DRAHVE"

>pic related bitches mirin

okay @dasharezone i see u

Ask Robert to call security

u work out at a movie theater user?

Either go meet Zyzz or respond with "Excuse me, I have a workout to continue" and proceed to do screamers all the way to the nearest exit while profusely sweating and dropping dimebags of creatine (/fraud/ btw)

throw a 15kg dumbbell what him (max i can do )

Take cover behind a plate
youtube.com/watch?v=4MBRPcc3TkI
Throw 5 lb plates from cover

>karate

You have no credibility.

Press my gay little anytime fitness police alarm and get shot and killed

>tfw i'm safe inside my local planet fitness because all i have to do is press the lunk alarm
what now, mr shooter?

>Gym police stays outside while everyone gets gunned down

Seems plausible, but incredibly redneck.

All good, trumps gonna buy all the fitness instructors guns.

we're fine

tell him he must drop the gun and take his protein shake, because he's almost out of his anabolic window
grab the gun and call the police while he shuggs his whey

Throw a fucking dumbbell at him

Take a light dumbell and either fucking chuck that shit at him or (if he's distracted and you have severe brain damage), run at him and fucking smash his face in with the dumbell. Seriously, think about this for a second, if you took a somewhat lightweight dumbell, and just fucking hit someone as hard as you possibly could right in the head, don't you think they'd be dazed? Probably.

>flex a 'cep to start
>"You really don't want to be doing this kiddo"
>Toss a 15 pounder at him, while he's distracted I take him down
>grab my towel
>Dump my water bottle on it
>cover his face with it
>start waterboarding him while choking him out
>as i leave I put $6 in the tip jar for the gym receptionist
>"Don't let me catch you in my kingdom ever again"

>"nobody move"
>the whole gym stops as a man with a gun enters
>he pauses and sees a strapping lad finishing his set
>"I said freeze, faggot"
>I finish my weighted dips and unclip my dip belt
>the weights fall to the floor
>"heh... nice peashooter but that won't do against my functional strength
>dash behind the smith machine
>a stray bullet lands in the ass of a gym Thor
>"m'lady, don't fret. ill be back in a flash"
>somersault to the weight tree
>fling a 45lb plate at the shooter
>he is taken aback
>perfect
>toss a 5lb plate at the gun causing him to drop it
>jump on his back before he can get to the gun
>take off his pants and ready my cock
>ravish his boipussy while exclaiming no homo
>he passes out from ecstasy and I return to the thot
>suck the bullet out of her ass
>she thanks me for my heroism and the gym awards me with a check for 5 million dollars and a personal key that I can use whenever I want

Kek

>"f-feeling fit buddy?"

Punch him into next week

Tell the Mossad shooter that if he kills me his uncle in banking won't get paid his high interest loan paid back.

Are you retarded?

>robert watch out!

I'm unironically thinking of ways of getting out of a shotdown at my gym, as some biker club chapter is running it here.

>Probably just throw myself behind the power rack

>not deflecting bullets with plates like Captain America
Never gonna make it

thank you smesh-it-sis

Finish my set, listen to the news about the tragedy down at the local gym, change out the plates for my next exercise and be glad I am home gym master race.

barricade yourself behind a pillow fort of pl8s

Grab a 45lb plate and fling it like a frisbee at the hanging light above him whilst doing a reverse summersault

Thank you smesh it sis

it's called a "kinotorium", you uncultured swine.

Thank you Smesh It Sis

thank you smesh - it - sis

Your Kinotorium doesn't have a gym and showers?