Is it really this simple?

Is it really this simple?

As simple as getting it on with your mom.

Bro you don't even need to lift weights, you just need a big dick and great face + height, personality and money

Yes

No. The diet and cardio advice are both heavily simplified to the point of being slightly absurd. But Veeky Forums generally eats shit food and hates cardio so it makes no difference anyway

>bitter virgin lookismcel detected

Doesn't work, some people like me just have a slow metabolism and bad genetics and because of that I can't lose weight no matter what I do, deficits are bullshit anyways because of hormones and enzymes, but that's probably too complicated for people around here.

...

If you ever think eating ice cream will make you look like that guy and not this guy, just stop now.

>eat in a surplus

but i dont want to gain fat

The rank goes as following:
>Personality
>Body and face
>Dick size
>Money

Personality ranks the most important, a great face and a good body goes hand in hand and can really improve your chances, a big dick is useless if you don't get laid and money is only good for fucking prostitutes and gold diggers.

I hope you're trolling..

what are those half line on his stomach?

>a slow metabolism and bad genetics

THEN SPEED IT UP WITH MORE CARDIO YOU LAZY SLOTH

Those ab lines in the before pic
Oh my

Its actually simpler than that.

I'm not willing to debate this with you since you clearly don't know what you're talking about.
It's my METABOLISM not my activity. I'm fucking active I walk at least 2 miles most days.

Absolutely this

So what? If your metabolism is 1400 calories per day, and you do cardio to burn 800 calories, you're still gonna burn as much as the next guy. There really isn't an excuse to not being able to lose weight if you are a normal human being

I'm so done with all you brainlets here.
Read a book, learn what ghrelin, leptin, insulin, and the thyroid are. Then get back to me.

kek
Why are you so butthurt, fatty?

I said normal, if you have a disease that fucks your bodys ability to lose mass up then sorry dude. 99% of people can lose weight with calories in calories out

Eat
Less
Fucking retard
>hurr durr I'm essentially immortal because I can't lose weight even if I don't eat, my body creates power from air
Kill yourself

>taking the most obviously laid bait

Like a fat kid and cake...

Veeky Forums just can't help itself

It's safer to assume everyone is retarded, because it's more likely than it being bair

Walking is not exercise, fatass.

You fell for Trolling 101 and you tried to school him but he ended up making a fool out of you. It's poetic.

Veeky Forums may not be the most autistic board, but it's up there.

>haha I was just pretending to be retarded!

I rather not use machines

do some research into affected hormones associated with heavy weight lifting

In what way is saying "look up these bodily functions" schooling anyone? Your metabolism could be 1000 calories per day for all I care, you can still lose weight. In fact, losing weight is EASIER when you are lsrge, because your extra mass not only requires more energy per day, but you also burn more by just walking. 99% of people who are overweight and wang to lose weight are not extreme genetic outliars with insane thyroid issues and nonexistent metabolism like they claim

Who's that guy in the picture?

You're making a fool out of yourself because you are arguing with a troll whose entire purpose is to pry a response and you suckers fall for it every time.

Stop feeding the trolls.

>I rather not use machines

What did he mean by this?

>99% of people who are overweight and wang to lose weight are not extreme genetic outliars with insane thyroid issues and nonexistent metabolism like they claim
Even if, thyroid issues can 1) be handled with meds so that they're no issues b) don't put you into a coma, so you still burn the vast majority of cals you would burn in a healthy state.
And 4) all of the people screaming 'metabolism' don't know shit about it. Severely reduced BMR would mean something along the lines of death or multi organ failure.

You don’t need to eat a surplus of calories. You just need to eat between .6 - 1.1 grams per body lb of protein a day.

Bulk/Cut is a meme

It's simpler than that, and there's a basic layer above both.
>LIVE
do some cardio, eat mainteinance, eat your veggies and proteins. Fats are important too, but you don't need a lot of them.
>Build muscle
Lift! eat more! more protein!
>Lose fat
Lift! eat less! move more!

exercise lines

you are not obese and dont have a genetic problem so you are in no place to criticize people with actual problems losing weight no matter how much we diet and exercise

Imagine being so fat that you brag about walking

>hurr durr I can list big science words so I'm right
Ok, do you have any empirical evidence that you have a dysfunction of any of these hormones? And if so, can you quantitate how much of an effect that dysfunction on your body weight, energy expenditure, or body composition?

Is this the real life? Is this just fantasy?

>being this retarded

>personality first

Lets be real here. If you dont fit the bare minimum attractiveness standards for a person, no amount of personality will make up for that

But that's wrong.

let's hit bump limit together

you still can lose weight tho, will be harder but not impossible.
>m-muh genetics
don't indulge the whale with SJW science, everybody can be thinner.

there will be always a retard that will believe that bullshit, so no, even if it is obvious bait it should be debunked on sight faggot.

ssh
don't think about vitamins and shit
just protein

Lazy fatty detected. Stop the excuses and change your life, you worthless scum or end yourself in a way that does not waste further ressources.

Then go see a doc, sloth. Such conditions can be managed. I have hashimoto, Diabeetus type II and still workout and lose fat. You know why? Because I got help from a doc and do not use my conditions as a fucking excuse to never change myself.

>I'm a lazy cunt but i cannot face the fact. So I go trolling in a fitness related board to feel better hurrdurr tehehe
Why are you here except for the trolling? YOu want to convince us of HAES and fat acceptance? Good luck, land whale.

hahahaha fat motherfucker who lacks the restraint to successfully diet. gg to ur parents who raised u to be lard arse

Holy fuck man, call the press, you are getting a nobel prize for proving that physics and mass conservation is wrong

>eating ice cream kek never gonna make it

based mom poster

Simplified, yes. In practice lowering your caloric intake without eliminating carbs and lowering it by simply eating less but with the same frequency instead of going through longer periods of fasting just ruins your MBR, making you always tired and prone to gaining weight again.


Best way to weight loss:

1) eat one large high fat low carb meal (your daily requirement) on 3 or 4 days of the week
2) fast on the other days, but take a multivitamin
3) always stay well hydrated
4) don't stop working out

What are you on about? When it comes to losing fat it’s that simple. This isn’t about being the healthiest or the fittest. Strictly losing fat. You can eat the most horrible shit. Keep the calories in check and you’ll lose fat.

Dying

you are just being mean. i try and try to lose weight but it just has proven impossible. i eat literally almost nothing and still cant lose weight

I mean I just need a Mr. Hamilton to get it on with your mom so yeah

That's a great way to lose muscle too

...

No. That’s fucking terrible advice.

>i eat literally almost nothing and still cant lose weight
The government just called. They want you to serve as a source of energy - the first perpetuum mobile proven to work. Congrats, good for you.

Are you a fish?

Dont eat for 30 days straight and tell me again you cant lose weight,chubster