>mid thirties
>Wife and kid
>All I do is work 60-70 hour weeks to provide for them
>The time I'm actually home I'm constantly interrupted, ignored, disrespected
>My body has turned to shit, I have injuries from years of hard labor and neglect
>Absolutely no libido whatsoever anymore. I'm too tired to even care anymore
What do I do? Get testestrone therapy? Divorce my wife? Kill myself? I have become Lester Burnham.
Other urls found in this thread:
m.youtube.com
girlschase.com
twitter.com
Why do you need to work 60-70 hours a week?
Why the fuck are you complaining about your life on a fitness board?
Go to /r9k/.
Two things come to mind
>The time I'm actually home I'm constantly interrupted, ignored, disrespected
This is something you could at least think about. Why do you think this is happening? Is there something you could do so that you could be treated with respect?
>My body has turned to shit, I have injuries from years of hard labor and neglect
And with this, there's always something you can do here. You can always find time to exercise, even if it is just very very light work because of your injuries. And you should be able to maintain a decent body just through diet.
It sounds like you feel overwhelmed. If your mind if constantly clouded, you won't see any action capable of making things better. It might help you if you tried to make some time for yourself, so that you can think clearly and reflect. That mental space might then feed into some positive action you can take so that your family respects you, and your health improves.
How is it not health and fitness related. OP has low t.
Mandatory OT comes with my job
is your wife attractive?
this is an important detail.
Veeky Forums hasnt been "health and fitness" for years, you just didnt pay attention. Its only "fitness" now.
Talk to your wife, try not to shout when she starts to shout.
I take it back, shout if you must, dont let her walk over you. Just dont shout in front of your kid. Better yet, get professional advice from a shrink. Talking about your issues might help.
ask jamal to take care of your wife
Yes, not as much as she used to be before the kid.
I just sit there and take bitching and criticism and wait patiently for it to be over with. It gets easier to hold back anger and urges to commit violence as you become more numb inside.
And here I am at 27 thinking 40 hours is draining my soul.
That's how it starts
>actually good advice on Veeky Forums
huh
I could easily manage with 30 hours, though I doubt my boss will let me. I'd find a different job, but this one is so convenient.
If you aren't fucking once a week there is a 95% chance your marriage is going to fail. This is a real statistic I'm afraid sorry bruh
Looks fade with age. This is to be expected.
But just taking the bitching and criticism and waiting for it to be over? Are you fucking for real? The reason you recieve so much bitching and criticism is because you've let it happen. And I'm not talking in that bullshit way that idiots who've never had a gf talk; I mean this from anyone, your wife, your friends, strangers, your colleagues. If you let anyone walk over you, they will.
My advice is as follows:
1. Do not take any shit. Don't just sit there passively taking criticism. That isn't to say you should get violent or be petty, but for fuck sake stand up for yourself.
2. In your spare time, go to the gym. Even if you work 70 hour weeks and manage to get 8 hours of sleep a day, there is still over 40 hours in the week spare. You sure as shit can spare 5 hours of that to go to the gym for an hour 5 days a week. No fucking excuses. Exercise will naturally raise your test, no therapy needed.
3. Nobody says you have to live a shit life, putting up with people you don't like. You have obligation to care for your kid, that is it. If the rest of the arrangement isn't working then don't put up with shit for the sake of it.
4. This guy said don't shout infront of your kid. To a degree he is right, but that should be do not be abusive to your wife infront of your kid. However, what you're currently showing is that it is OK for a man to be completely walked all over. This is not good. Stand up for yourself infront of your kid unless you want him to not respect you and grow up to be a pussy.
Read "no more mr nice guy". It's literally made for you
take acid you might learn a thing or too
It sounds like you could use some self care time. Also, working on how to set boundaries. And if they really are that shitty, leave. Take care of your kids but do t waste your time on a woman who doesn't respect or care about you. It will suck but the rest of your life after 2 years you'll feel better. You only get one life, don't waste it caring for shitfags who treat you like shit. Feel better homey.
he already is...
Health is a part of fitness
>Get testestrone therapy?
it is possible that you actually have low test because of the amount of physical work you do. normal amounts of exercise increase testosterone, but massive amounts of physical, straining labor with little time to recover can drive it down. If low-test is actually a concern, go to a doctor and get it checked. dont just buy test of the internet and inject it because of a slight suspicion.
I hear you user, Im the same age and I work similar hours all the time.
The only thing that helps me out is I dont have kids or a wife.
this, can recommend, it will be the best investment of your life. you should also look into manosphere literature, athol kay springs to mind.
I doubt your problems and unhappiness are physiological. if you get into fitness or even roids to fix your personality, it will not work.
you will just be an insecure beta autist with gyno and an impressive squat like the rest of this board.
To do list:
1)read
2)read more
3)take control of your life
4)if still necessary, get bloodwork done by a doctor
gl man
Visiting a gym is recommended. Working out and having healthy habits raises your test, which in return makes your mood better and generally enriches your life. Also, learn how to stand up for yourself. Men are as happy, energetic and have as much healthy optimistic view on life, as their test levels allow them. You should get your shit together for your sake AND for your kid's. You want to be a hero for your kid, someone he will realize was right all along when he will be in his twenties and can live by your example.
As for your wife I don't know what to tell you. You know best. Does she work? How does she contribute to your family well-being and harmony? How can you lead the family, if she won't let you and constantly bitches, disrespect your sacrifice and work?
Getting closer and closer to the divorce myself. She was fine before we got married and even when the kids came along she was still normal. Until she got a credit card. Then used another one to start paying the first one off. Then decided to tell me when she was halfway through credit card 3. Now she positively despises me because I bitch about working 60 hours to try and pay off her debts while she works part time and has no intention of getting a better job or working more hours (I moved jobs to start paying off her mistakes). Whenever I'm home we simply don't speak unless it's necessary because she gets pushy and starts shouting if she doesn't get her own way. I'm not into hitting women but if anyone deserves a smack it's this cunt. Anywho my advice to OP is to write off the entire relationshit. Figure out how to pay off your portion of any debts then start looking for somewhere else to live. Keep working the hours and sit on as much of your money as possible for your progeny and do everything possible to make sure the bitch gets the bare minimum off you. She's a full grown fucking adult. If you keep making it easy for her by only being home as a doormat that dispenses money then she'll just take advantage.
really makes you think, innit
bitches ain't shit but hoes and tricks...
Damn bro that sounds terrible
>Getting closer and closer to the divorce myself.
are you already in the process of it? have you talked to a lawyer?
9-5 (more like 8-6) life was a fucking mistake
we need to go back to hunter-gatherer times bros...
It is. If it wasn't for the kids I'd've given up on her after the credit cards.
Not yet. It's a foregone conclusion though but I need the debt gone before I can spend near 500 on a decent divorce (minimising the inevitable shafting that I'll get for the crime of being both male and a father to her children)
jesus christ, I am sorry that happened to you.
once you are divorce- ready, make one last attempt to set it right. perhaps she will become reasonable once she sees the gravy train disappearing. I know, small chance of that, but this crazy lady will poison your childrens minds in case of breakup, so you should at least try. even if only to have a good concience later because you did anything you could.
looking back at it, where there any warning signs that she would go off the deep end? any advice?
Not really, sorry. All the unpleasant qualities about her have become magnified and she now has a raging sense of entitlement. The gravy train's disappearing no matter what. She grew up with both parents and they're fucking pathetic when it comes to discipline whereas I grew up with a strict mother who I later found out fucked my father over nicely. I won't go in to details but I will say after a relative sent me the records on the divorce and I spoke to others she said were dead I don't have anything to do with her anymore. The point being I've tried for over a year on a daily basis to get her to understand what she'll put my children through by refusing to try and make things work and she simply will not accept that it's a bad thing for children to grow up with one parent instead of two. The parent they're going to get is selfish, lazy, spoilt and a near pathological liar who lacks the backbone to stand up for her own flesh and blood. I'll never abandon them but I'm fully prepared for the most likely scenario which is that I only see my own kids on the weekend because their cunt of a mother won't compromise.
I don't know what to tell you OP, you sound like my Dad. He waited until his kids were late teens then left my Mum, got himself healthy and used his money (successful bond trader) to set up his own business. 10 years later and he's retired and happy. Just keep grinding man, if my alcoholic, miserable, obese Dad can turn it around anyone can.
>getting married
>the current year
Im not really sure what you expected
>join the military young
>stay in great shape because of mandatory divisional pt involved weightlifting and division is only 8-10 persons
hahaha, thank you chief
Minus a few comments this has been the most respectful and sincere thread I have ever seen on Veeky Forums
It's too fucking weird
I think it's because this topic is just too real for most people, either as a fear of it inevitably happening to themselves or having seen their own dad experience this. I know I recognize my father in OP's post. This is a societal problem that runs so deep because of the way things are run in modern times. I don't consider myself MGTOW or anything like this but, fuck man, imagining myself go through education and sucking up to bosses just to be treated like this at home is grim
OP here
The thing that really bothers me is how completely respected I am at work and with my colleagues but my wife seems to hate my very being. I've gotten employee of the year 4 years straight. I'm the go-to-guy every damn day and I always get impossible amounts of work done. But when I go home I'm just some loser that just brings home a paycheck and apparently I'm not worth much more than that.
I want to answer this a little bit better. I grew up poor with my parents living paycheck to paycheck my entire childhood and adolescence. I refuse to let my kid go without like I did so I work enough to earn at least 100k a year.
I'll give a third thumbs up for No More Mr. Nice Guy, that book really opened my eyes
>my wife seems to hate my very being
I've got a gf of 6 years. I love her more with each passing day, yet I've seen her become more and more resentful of me over time, and I haven't even given her any reason to do so. It's weird. I've got great career prospects, take care of her, etc. She told me 2 weeks ago as we were having a serious talk that she loves me less and less each day. She's quite rational, and we speak to eachother very honestly.
Neither of us know whether this is normal and to be expected, or whether we're making a mistake if we stay together. I'm way too much in love to care, even though I see that I'm being neglected, and even sometimes outright abused. Is love just a meme? Can it never function for more than a good couple of years?
I've never felt anything like this to any woman I've ever known. I'm afraid I'll never be able to find a woman I could both respect and love, given how most are thots, but I do understand that time is ticking away..
she's a thot too user, don't worry
are you trying to spoil him? growing up with everything granted makes you not apreciate the work of your parents
I'll buy this right now
>she's a thot too user
She was a virgin when we started dating, so no.
I wouldn't say spoil him. I just want to provide a decent life. My parents never had insurance when I was a kid. I literally never went to the doctor or dentist until I was an adult with my own money. I'm also saving up for a college education for my son so he'll never have to destroy his body like I have and he'll never have to worry about student loans.
Well right now he/she is growing up with a father who doesn't get along with mom, and is absent both physically and emotionally. Is that so much better? How do you think a kid like that turns out?
I don't know where you live, but 100k sounds like overkill. If you ask the kid (now or in 10 years) I'm sure having dad around more often is better than earning 100k instead of 80k a year, a difference they can't even fathom at that age.
stop masturbating and fuck your wife, she will respect you again and so will your child by responding to her body language towards you
t. 37 year-old doing nofap 2018
Jesus man thank fuck I’m not married. I got a baby to my girl, she acts crazy sometimes, but she loves our kid way to much to put her through not having a father figure if we were to break up. Have you ever thought about life insurance on this bitch and getting fucking crack head to stab this bitch because I seriously would.
>fuck your wife
What if she's "not in the mood"? Is he supposed to rape her or what? Stupid fucking idea.
>"i love you less every day!"
you know she's already been taking a lot of dick behind your back. only a thot says that openly to you, even in the unlikely case she isn't, there's something very wrong with you
>thots
>being honest
Pick 1. What do you mean by saying that there's something very wrong with me tho?
>She was a virgin when we started dating
Don't mean to play devil's advocate cause I don't know her personally, but that could mean she wants to have more "experiences" than just one before the window closes.
I'm sure there are pure girls out there (fingers crossed), but her friends could be poisoning her mind with "girl u can't get married and only have had sex with one guy, there's so much more out there. have you even experienced an 8 incher before?".
Bro, take this advice: accept that things are not going to work out, get it in your head. If she doesn't love you and you only love her more this is gonna be a slow and incredibly painful drama. You're gonna try everything you can to win her back and she will try to give you chances but in the end it won't work out.
6 years is a long time, but if it doesn't work it doesn't work. Start accepting this idea and when you do break up with her. Don't torture yourself more than you have to.
.t guy who broke up with his 4 year gf for similar reasons last year and is now dating a girl who is better than her in every way.
It was really tough in the beginning but I am so happy I made that choice.
if she is a decent woman it is likely your fault if she stops loving you
>I refuse to let my kid go without like I did so I work enough to earn at least 100k a year
The sentiment behind a decision like that is obviously worth respect, but this parenting mindset is what creates a lot of spoiled brats that take everything for granted.
Giving your children all the things you didn't may sound great inside your head, but your child has no point of reference and can't possibly be very grateful when they've never wanted for anything.
Say no, deprive them of rewards when they haven't earned them. Make yourself a parent, not a food and toy dispenser.
It's about establishing expectations. From the moment I started dating my current gf (who I intend on marrying) I made it explicitly clear what my desires are from a sexual standpoint. It helps that we both find each other attractive but both she and I know that simply shutting it down sexually isn't an option. She is certainly allowed to no longer indulge my sexual appetite but she is also very much aware that I'll end up going elsewhere if that's the case.
>I'm way too much in love to care
she's sucking dick behind your back, leave her
Enjoy your trash knees and destroyed liver from eating ibuprofen like it's candy.
Your mistake was not taking charge of finances. If she is impulsive, you should have given her only a prepaid debit card.
She did say that because she has no reference, she doesn't know whether what she's feeling is normal, or a huuuge red flag. She did say that the only thing stopping her from "becoming a nihilistic, headonistic [whore]" is her faith. She def. has tendencies to live life like a thot, but she has not done so yet. She may have FOMO tho
I agree with you. I can't become any better tho, I'm already trying everything.
Yeah, it feels like I'm watching a slow motion car crash. It doesn't hurt enough for me to call it off tho.
OP, you should go straight up American Beauty and get back into shape and cheat on your wife.
What if he ends up flunking uni ? Or wanting to do gender studies ? You need to start being a little more selfish dude
Do you have steam or discord ? Any hobbies ?
>that the only thing stopping her from "becoming a nihilistic, headonistic [whore]" is her faith
Hooo boy
She's gonna resent you more and more and after many years leave or cheat on you. The wheels are already in motion
I used to powerlift and I was huge in the hardcore punk scene in my city before I had my son. Now all I do is work, eat, sleep, and spend time with my kid.
I watched that movie a few days ago and cried like a baby the entire time. Too fucking close to home.
You underestimate how catholic she is. It's a lose lose situation, I'll give you that. If she stays with me, she'll resent me over time, but if she leaves, I'm fucked as well
loose loose.. hehe you just described your gf
Low libido is not because of low test, it's because you're not attracted to your wife. I guarantee if some big titted eighteen year old thot came along you see your libido come back. Keeping sex interesting in most relationships becomes difficult after a few years even more so once you've had kids. Even more so these days where you can watch porn and jack off so easily. I know it sounds like a platitude but it's really important to speak to your partner about these things otherwise you're looking down the barrel of fifty years of misery.
Actually, she's so tight that she can literally hurt my dick by clenching her vagina muscles. It's unreal. She can't really take a dicking tho (maybe I'm a bit on the hung side and that doesn't help either), sex is mediocre on the physical level (but due to emotional/psychological reasons it's pretty awesome all in all).
Well she literally told you she wants to have sex with multiple other guys. Not sure how you can live with that, knowing that urge builds and builds every day and every time she sees you.
Also you said gf and not wife, aren't you having sex? If she's having premarital sex she's already broken one catholic "rule", eventually another one can be justified.
m.youtube.com
OP's theme song
His problem is his life, not low t. Nobody would want that life.
Low test can absolutely cause low libido. However, the other things you mentioned can also cause low libido.
Go to the doctor user and get test levels checked. My PA is a total bro and is on TRT and pretty much hooks me up with any lab test I think I need (i roid). When I'm done playing this game and just want to focus on fitness and longevity he's going to prescribe me test.
They are out there, worth a shot. Plus you're probably depressed, it sounds like your job is awful.
You watched American Beauty. Be happy again. Recapture what you wanted to be as a teenager.
Another user but thank you for this, knowing that things can be good again is nice, but knowing that things can be better again is a real beacon of hope
Well, apparently having premarital sex if it's with your future husband and with the mind of preparing your future life together is not considered a sin by most theologians. Essentially, it's okay if you end up marrying the guy, but if you don't, you've actually been sinning the whole time. Now add to this the fact that I'm not, in fact, catholic, and you can understand her doubts about the relationship as she might actually feel like she's sinning, even if not consciously.
Get a different job and hop on roids.
I know low test can cause it but I don't think so in OP's situation. I know many others in the same boat.
Honestly to me it sounds like his life is just grinding him into dust. He needs to make major changes or start getting on drugs to help him deal with it.
Catholic teaching says that anything more than the lightest kiss before marriage is a mortal sin you fucking idiot
Fucking hell user your life sounds like a fucking nightmare. I'm sorry it had to be this way.
These threads cure all of my >tfwnogf feels.
Be the man that you want to be, user. You are not too far gone yet.
You sound literally like my dad. He did that for 10+ years to eventually get divorce raped anyway. Take it from a kid who watched all that- its better to be poor and have happy parents even if theyre divorced
>more like 8-6
This is the final blackpill.
Hari Kari in your garage but make sure you lay out a tarp first
I have never felt so sedated in my entire life. I used to be such a wild kid and now I feel like an old man.
>the chad considerate suicide vs the virgin selfish suicide
Someone should make a pic if they haven't already
Not quite what I had in mind (in fact, i thought of the reversal of the roles in a sense), but kek'd heartily nonetheless
Yeah, this. Your girlfriend isn't kidding anyone, least of all God.
You're spending too much time and money.
1) Reduce your money expenditures so you can...
2)...reduce your time and energy expenditures.
Get a cheaper house. Move to another town. Stop buying your wife shit. Whatever it take so you can stop working 60 hour weeks. Like, what in the serious fuck are you thinking?
Once you get down to a reasonable job time expenditure (you know: 40 hours a week), then take the next step: add exercise and start self-improvement.
Dude, he doesn't have time for a gym visit. He needs to stop working so fucking long first. THEN he can replace that bullshit with gym visits.
40 hours isn't bad, it's the fucking commute that kills it for me, damn near 2 hours there and back. I lose an extra 20 hours a week cause of this shit. I used to live a couple blocks away but my lease expired and the rent got doubled, fuck vancouver
Listen to audiobooks, man. Made me from wanting to kms during my commute to actually looking forward to it.
Also OPIE just have a read of this
New job or new housing: take your pick. Those are the options. Because fuck wasting 20 hours a week in a metal box being angry at everyone else in metal boxes.