Addicts of Veeky Forums what's your story?
What's it like to be addicted to a drug or a person or food? What does withdrawal feel like? Do you feel like if you go one night without drinking or smoking you want to kill yourself?
Those who have recovered what did you do to change your life?
>tfw heroin addict
JUST
>addicted to a person
My then-gf got a DUI and didn't want to talk. I didn't talk to her at all for 2 days. My mind was like constant noise, and it felt like there was a brick in my stomach. We broke up later that week after getting into a heated argument in which her mom got involved. I texted her a week later to get back together but she had already called her previous bf, and they began dating again. One week.
I literally wanted to kill myself. I could hardly see straight. I ate like shit, skipped classes, did the bare minimum at work, neglected spending time with my family. It took a good 4 months before I finally started feeling sort-of "normal" again.
Getting into MMA helped a lot. I committed myself to going a few times a week and had a lot of fun doing it. Later I looked up some conventions near me and found a good one just up the street, taking place this coming week. So I straightened myself up, hired a nutritionist, lifted regularly and got in shape to cosplay Goku. I have a new gf now and I've never been happier.
Not quite a drug addiction but hopefully it fits here nonetheless.
I think I'm addicted to sex. I'm on apps like Grindr and tinder constantly and I'm always checking them at work. Whenever I get a sex opportunity I constantly check the messages for like hours and have it my mind the process of what they must be doing. I get distracted and time passes like crazy. I've lost entire days-worth of time because of this.
I think it's because I've always had this massive self-doubt about my looks and having sex makes me feel validated and like people are interested in me. But recently it's not doing it for me again and people on these things are flaky.
I think I'd really just like a solid relationship but I don't know how...
Right lol. I went from 190 lbs to 150. Sober and back at 170 now. 6'1 btw.
Also it's weird knowing that you have experienced the best feeling in the world already and that nothing will ever top it. Kind of a bummer.
It sucks I'm on subutex 0.6mg because I got addicted to heroin...if I don't take it I get nausea, cramps, restless legs, insomnia, hot and cold chills, swearing, eyesnwatering, excessive yawning
Man I've been having street addict for a few years and coming out of it now, it's really not the best feeling....maybe close the first time you do it
I drink around 400-600mg caffeine daily.
That's it really. I remember there being a time where i didn't need it to wake up and plan to get there again but sips taste good and mr. Hyde really puts me in the right place for a workout.
Masturbation addict here. I've tried nofap since New Years and kept failing. My best record is 9 days without fap. I just fapped yesterday. It's really hard to resist the temptation of just playing with your dick or simply looking at pornographic imagery.
Also for some reason it's always thinking about traps what breaks my streaks.
What about having the money and freedom to do whatever you desire, then taking heroin on top of that?
Its like trying to do everything with your left hand when your right handed. It feels fucked but you eventually learn to adapt. But you always have that nagging feeling of "just once. No one will know"
Same brother, I've been masturbating since I was 3 years old. Masturbation has taken up 1/20 of my life. How the hell do I just quit?
>tfw never had enough friends, money or social skills to buy drugs
I'm talking purely physical, not like the feeling of holding your first kid. The first time you bang heroin is the best physical sensation I've ever had. Sex on mushrooms/ecstasy is a distant second.
That shit kills test btw
heroin addict for years , went to rehab
way back in 08. didn't really know what to do to feel good again.always felt stress. found meditation and cold showers. really I'm not memeing.
been so long since I scored don't know where to get drugs anymore.
anyway don't do drugs
of yeah I do kratom now , but it's legal.
Addicted to food here.
>inb4 hurr durr you can't be addicted to food
By addicted to food I mean I'm diagnosed with binge eating disorder. My diagnosed ptsd and diagnosed generalized anxiety disorder is expressed by my brain in the form of eating to cope with my stress.
In the thick of my binge eater disorder, I'd have episodes where I'd just get into a fucking frenzy to eat. I'd get tunnel vision and tunnel thinking and all I could think about was eating as many things as I possibly could, even if my stomach physically hurt. Eating was a thing that helped me relax, it was like my drug. Imagine the heat of needing to eat in the same way you feel a heat to cum when you're having sex. It's gonna take you a hell of a lot to calm down and stop having sex. Been overweight my whole life and would come home and sit in front of the tv with snacks to de-stress when I was a kid. Parents were meth addicts and there was a lot of domestic violence. Hence the ptsd.
Nowadays I've been going to a doctor for mental and physical health for about a month now. Used shere willpower and determination to shed 30lbs. Was 250 in october, 219 now. Now that I've been getting help for my mental health I've kind of developed a doubting voice in my head that shows up when I make or think about making bad food choices. I bought a bag of cheetos last night and the voice nagged me out of my eating heat until I realized I should just toss em cause I'm not even hungry. Debated internally earlier today whether or not to just get a dozen donuts and go crazy. Internal voice reminded me it takes me farther from what will truly make me happy in the long run, and the junk food won't even taste that good. things are getting better.
ama if anyone wants.
stopped smoking weed and drinking and now im the loneliest ive ever been.
damn, ive never felt like that, but still got to 370 lbs, i think its incredible you arent like 600 lbs.
i never had cravings that bad, i just smoked lots of weed and ate out of boredom
Honestly I don't think I would have been diagnosed with binge eating disorder until maybe 18 months ago. That's around the time my mom dad. Probably my first BAD emotional experience in my adult life (currently 19). If I hadn't got myself under control I would have easily ballooned higher. I did go from 220 up to 250 within 6 months of mom dying.
*died lol
I was a heroin addict for 2 years. After I lost my job my use became increasingly worse and when I was out of money I started robbing drug dealers. I was qick of my life and wanted to die. Around 5 months after I lost my job I woke up and I knew I had no money and had to go to another city to buy more heroin because I robbed all the heroin and crack dealers in my town multiple times and they all quit selling in my city. I also smoked my last bit of heroin during the night so I knew I was going to be sick by midday. Every thought, move and action was about the sweet brown sugar. My whole life was consumed by it. I already sold all my valuables and was actually considering another suicide attempt, made myself ready to jump off a tower. Cleaned the place a bit and wrote a letter to my mom. I broke down in tears like a child and decided I did not want this life, I didn't want my story to end sad like this, I did not want to cause my mom and friends any sorrow. I went to the methadone clinic that day, slowly tappered off it during the course of a year. Got a wage slave job to rebuild some shit and get used to routine. I'm off the methadone for one and a half year now. Also got a good job a year ago and actually started my own company last month. If it keeps going like this I can quit my primary job next month and focus on my own company.
That's amazing man. I'm happy for you.
if you want to change the world, you start with cleaning your room. proud of you man
And you cleaned up your city and maybe saved a few lives.
Developed OCD years ago after a severe depressive episode and shitty anxiety along with anorexia. I was prescribed ativan to help with the panic attacks. I soon developed a tolerance to it and began taking it regularly. I would find myself extremely aggressive and agitated when my prescription would run out. I started to take the ativan so I wouldn't feel so on edge. I just loved the weird auto pilot feeling you'd get after taking it. This calm wave of pure warm relaxation would spread through every inch of my body and all throughout my mind. My thought process would slow down so much that I would forget whatever I was thinking of and just lay in bed staring at my ceiling. I get cravings just thinking about it. But there's no way I could get a prescription now since the only way I could get my hands on more than five .5 milligram tablets would be if i spent 24 to 72 hours in a psychiatric hospital....and I ain't doing that shit.
Don't do drugs y'all even if they're prescription.
keep going i was the same and now im in a 120 streak
You're not addicted to sex. You're addicted to the validation it gives you.
when did you have your latest fix? How much money do you spend on heroin per week? How did you start?
Stop doing heroin user it's bad for you
You can't be addicted to food and binge eating disorder is a fucking meme doctors tell fat fucks so they don't feel responsible for their disgusting eating habits
I'm addicted to life and it's ruining me, I've been trying to convince myself to quit I can never quite commit...
Anybody else know that feel?
*phone shutter clicks*
>What's it like to be addicted to a drug or a person or food?
Booze, feels bad, mostly because I don't sleep well
>What does withdrawal feel like? Do you feel like if you go one night without drinking or smoking you want to kill yourself?
Any more than a day and I get cranky and anxiety attacks
I consider 2 days an achievement, my best streak in the last 5 years was a week.
I read fph threads and I hear too much of myself in their cope. I distain them for not being able to stop, but I think it might be misplaced self hate for what I can't stop.
The other day a guy apologized at the gym because he thought I was scowling at him but I was just looking me in the eyes in the mirror
In the past I really couldn’t fathom how anybody could be an alcoholic but as the years have gone by I have more of an urge whenever there’s a big social occasion. I’ll drink on my own prior and desu I think my lack of social life has really curbed my urges. But I can definitely see my self going down a dark path. I think there needs to be much more education in schools about how addiction will sneak up on you- it’s not even obvious while it’s happening. Honestly the most addictive drug I’ve tried out of the about seven I’ve tried is alcohol
Started just weekends, then Thursday too, just a bit because late class on Fridays.
Then during DND on Sunday, oh and why not have a few with the lads on weekdays just to be social.
>See yourself making destructive choices... Keep making them.
I'm just like the ppl in my 600 lb life.
porn and masturbation. they aren't lying when they say it's an addiction. i can get more detailed and say over the years ive collected around 3 gb of porn in images (roughly 7000 images) and deleted them all, I've ended up trying to build up more collections of girls but I delete them shortly after, I basically relapse and try to quit again over and over.
hooked on Latinas now, and have a new folder building up that I'll probably delete soon again. avoid porn like the plague bros.
my sister buys weed for me
I had better not mention betterfap.com then, because it would consume you.
How do I fix this?
I smoke too much weed and eat better than i did before but still pretty bad sometimes depending on how I feel. Everyones an addict in one sense or another. There's no rationalizing it, but it feels like it's all I have to enjoy.
Addicted to traps tbqh, boipucci is the elixir of male dominance.
Insufferable.
addicted to heroin and it sucks, been clean for a almost a month now, lifting and jiu jitsu are only thing that keep me sane, its 2-4 hours of the day where i know I wont be thinking about drugs.
Withdrawal sucks dick, its like the worst flu you've ever had+inability to sleep+ a psychotic breakdown. Happy im past it.
>tfw sleeping around a lot on grindr
>some guy hits me up
>huge dick, twink, literal fantasy type
>"Hey you should fuck the shit outta me on T" which means meth
>I want to do that but want absolutely nothing to do with meth even by association
fucking grindr has a serious meth problem. Half the people on here talk about it casually. Not a surprise when I see them complaining about their bodies or with some issue. At-least the popper and 420 faggots just want to enjoy good sex and not ruin their life.
hmmm seems grindr would be a good place to go look for drugs
If you don't mind me asking, what kinds of therapy do you do to help with staving off episodes? I'm going to start seeing a therapist for the first time and am curious for what I'm potentially in for.
t. developed binging habits these last few months while losing weight
I haven't got into actual therapy yet but seeing my doc who takes my weight every time i go in gives me some motivation to not fuck up. you know, the shame of losing nothing or even gaining in front of your doctor. I think just getting the diagnoses of binge eating disorder and uncovering that it's an expression of my childhood trauma has helped me to understand and self analyze my eating episodes. I still binge eat maybe once every 1.5-2 weeks but I occasionally stop the episodes whereas binging was a nightly occasion after mom.
Fuck man it feels impossible to quit
Going to uni with my magazine loaded is fucking torture.
Thanks user. I relate so much to the tunnel vision aspect of it and it's scary because it makes you feel so weak and not in control of yourself.
Stay strong, we're going to make it.