Veeky Forums humor thread

Veeky Forums humor thread

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lmgtfy.com/?q=millennials less sex
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>tfw you're 6'2+, cute, funny, and can hold a conversation so these statements from roasties don't trigger you

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Oh, and the lift part, obviously. Didn't see that blurb at first.

>6'6
>Not really cute, kinda ugly
>Not really funny, kinda scary
>Can't really hold a conversation, kind of an asshole
>Still get roasties on muh dick

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Humor thread not self validation thread you tard

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Jeff I hope you and Rivers are doing well but you need to return my TV.
>6’6”
Never mind.

You know, I've noticed that it's often the low value girls who have requirements like this. I've been rejected more by fatties than I have by qt's because of my poorfag status

Makes fatties feel powerful for once. I just laugh it off.

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sluts sleep with men
what a revelation

going for fatties

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LITERALLY SAME but add
>pajeet

and im a virgin

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wow congrats on being able to have sex in the most hypersexual time in history what an achievement

Saw this a "what animal is the most Veeky Forums" thread

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I'm 5'10 no bully pls

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If I wanted a humor thread I'd ask for your 1RM

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>successful, talented actors playing world-class programmers and entrepreneurs
>beta males
lmao hollywood reporter coming in hot with impotent envy: the cover

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you w0t m8
have you seen ancient Greece by any chance? or the 70s?

if anything we're trending the other way

It's too late doesn't count anymore. DYEL FAG

not that guy, but trending the other way, kek

this.
this guy has never heard of hookup/dating apps

This fails to understand the uncertainty principle.
Its not that the cat is both dead and alive, its that you have no way of knowing therefore you assume both states to be true.
This is like so because the uncertainty principle applies to measuring the speed and the position of an electron orbiting an atom. Knowing both states is imposible because in order to measure the speed you unavoidably alter the position and vice-versa. So you measure one state and assume the other.
In the protein shake case you dont known the calories but your body will absorb the calories in the drink regardless of your perception of it so for practical purposes you do know how many calories are in the drink so no uncertainty (that didnt even remotely apply as I stated earlier) applies anyway.

how does one even fix that

im guessing you never went to college?

Im in college and i agree with that guy. It depends on your friends group. Most my friends are virgins in 4th year.

Lol i member

Yeah, you get rejected by the fatties because you don't meet their unrealistically high standards with respect to their SMV, then you get rejected by the cuties because they already have boyfriends.

Schroedinger's cat has nothing to do with uncertainty principle. The whole point is that the cat is both dead and alive because decoherence did not yet occur between the observer and the superposition of two cat states.

that’s pathetic

>Its not that the cat is both dead and alive, its that you have no way of knowing therefore you assume both states to be true.
not true
>This is like so because the uncertainty principle applies to measuring the speed and the position of an electron orbiting an atom.
among many other things, including a lot of non-qantum phenomena
>Knowing both states is imposible because in order to measure the speed you unavoidably alter the position and vice-versa.
momentum, and pretty weak explanation desu
>So you measure one state and assume the other.
definitely not true
>In the protein shake case you dont known the calories but your body will absorb the calories in the drink regardless of your perception of it so for practical purposes you do know how many calories are in the drink so no uncertainty (that didnt even remotely apply as I stated earlier) applies anyway.
No fucking shit it's a joke dumbass

hit the books

This is objectively false.

Anons the cat isn't an actual cat. It's a subatomic particle.

>t. incel

>tfw shitposting on Veeky Forums instead of doing my homework

Fuck

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No, it's a thought experiment with an actual cat. The purpose is to demonstrate that quantum properties don't easily extrapolate to macro-objects, because we all know that a cat in a nearby container can't be both dead and alive.

t. clever guy

It's a thought experiment designed to point of some of the pitfalls you run into with quantum mechanics. It illustrates the issues that arise when you apply QM to macroscopic systems.

Nobody wants to admit it, but fatties often end up having the highest standards because they get fucked a lot. There's a lot of good looking girls out there who don't get hit on because guys are intimidated by them. A lot of guys feel they have better chances with somebody who is desperate, and a fat or ugly chick must be desperate, so they go for them when they just want to bust a nut. So fat chicks often end up getting the dregs after a night out or from Tinder/online dating in general. Eventually it goes to their head. They don't know they were the last pick for the guy on the night after being struck down by 50 girls, or if they do they're willfully ignorant because they're finally getting some.

Eventually it goes to their head. They begin thinking that they get fucked by people all the time when they go out clubbing and shit, and so they go full bitch mode thinking that they're suddenly a part of the popular slut club or something.

Suicide

As a horse i want you white boies to stay away from our women, can you also tell your women to stop trying to fuck us? Its blue balling as hell to only ever get the tip in. I need to go balls deep

>Cant even buy a 13 y/o wife for a goat
>Most hypersexual era

Yeah the first one is definitely true my dude.
About measuring either the speed or the position and assuming the other, I know this is exactly true (by exactly I mean not at all) but really didn't wanna explain the whole phenomena to the extent of explaining what happens when youre trying to calculate orbitals.
Keep in mind I learn this shit at uni in Spanish so a shit ton of terminology gets lost in process.
Still, the joke was insanely stupid.

Millennials have less sex than any generation in at least a hundred years.

What in tarnation

me right now

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Did his mom fuck a kangaroo?

I see a vidya boss duo with a short stocky nigga and a tall fucker with tiny legs that walks on his enlarged arms

What the actual unholy fuck

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Got an extra X chromosome in the mix

I mean, he’s not wrong

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This.

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This is something someone's uncle who drinks too much would post on Facebook.

I need to write an essay on confucian government
but I'm here shitposting about manlets and hairlines
Why am I like this

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Remember

You’re here forever

lmgtfy.com/?q=millennials less sex

I need one of those for my five year old. Start familiarizing it early sounds like a good plan.

Nigga built like the grinch

>guys are intimidated by them
NO NO NO NO NO. SOME guys are. But those hot girls get hit on CONSTANTLY. Literally every day, several times a day. The reason guys don't pursue the hot girls as often when they want to fuck is that hot girls require a fuck load of work and you don't have even a 1% guarantee of pussy. Fat girls are easy. So the hot girls are passed for fatties, because why put in the work, when you're just looking to bust a nut.

The thought experiment was literally made with a cat in mind. It just doesn't work obviously because it made to show the ridiculousness of the law of superposition
Heseinberg's uncertainty principle is different from the law of superposition.

Heart goes out to this guy, wherever he is :/

can't fix an extra x chromosome

user I think you may be right

kek

lmfao im all of these and guess what, 27 year old virgin. not even funny

This is a promo for a tv show

That's just as bad, it's still the same idea

*quiet brap*

But... thats the joke is that they're...
You know what,
never mind.

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Literally all my friends, I'm the one of the only degenerates in the group

I not your uncle bud
Show him the way so he may one day show his son

why would you stop someone on ohp jesus christ hes in a rack let it do its job.

This but unironically

Opposite of SS, 0 leg work and focus exclusively on arms just all of the arms and back as well as chest traps he has a good strong core and legs probably a biker if he got the upper body to the lower body level he'd be bear mode

Absolute shit, the squat version is infinitely better

Also this makes zero sense, deads dont improve your upper body at fucking all. Meme exercise.

you know she will still get that guy if she doesn't settle for any less

That isnt an OHP its The Press

Otherwise know as The Waste of Fucking Time Why Do Dumb Cunts Do These Moves

>half the couch is pillows
>the other half is actually softer

kek'd

Oh geez man you’re right all those monsters with 600+ pulls must be just hard memeing. I forgot back wasn’t upper body oh geez damn man. What do you suggest as a replacement? 20 sets of body weight glute bridges maybe around 10 reps each? Wouldn’t want to get tired or anything

Kek

Just caught a barbell with my face while benching. Beware the fat bars they don't fit in the safeties. Gonna have a nasty black eye in the morning I think.

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If you're an idiot maybe. This move is called the overhead press, or just press. Moron. It's also a great exercise for anyone who isn't a weak faggot. One day you'll be able to do more than the bar little fella.

>so these statements from roasties don't trigger you
>"so"
>as in, "therefore"
Buddy the reason these statements shouldn't trigger you is because the chick in the OP has the ass of a broom.

Yeah bitch that was last week

>T.J. Miller "wasn't LeBron"
Yeah no shit. Captain Soy was harassing people on-set between takes all but demanding that they vote for Hilary like a ßeta with rabies.

wasn't there an old side-by-side photo that used to float around /b/ of a horse pussy vs. a human pussy?
Caption said some autistic shit like "can you tell the difference? Your dick can't either"

Nah bro, his problems aren't muscular, they're structural. Frame really is the main determinant of aesthetics in the end. Unless he roids for Dorian Yates tier lats etc he's fucked

>tfw some braphog came onto me in a club once because she presumably felt this confident
>tfw i like 'em thick and wound up getting my tongue sucked down her throat

>traps
>forearms
>spinal erectors
Try actually deadlifting my man

You mean The Press™?

Bumping with a classic.

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>jumps to push bar
That isnt an OHP you dumb fucking rock. Its The Press™.

An OHP is a slow controlled movement, if you jump you're doing a shitty pointless waste of fucking time exercise that doesnt activate your almonds at all.

>those monsters with 600+ pulls must be just hard memeing
Do upper body workouts which is how they gain muscle you dumb shit

We've been over this before, look at any guy who does nothing but SS and hes a fucking T rex because of squat+deadlifting does nothing but legs.

>If you're an idiot maybe. This move is called the overhead press, or just press
There are two moves where you raise a barbell above your head, the press and OHP

They are not the same at all. The press requires you to explosively push upwards and even jump to move the weight. OHP you stay stationary and slowly increase/lower the weight.