In My Butthole

help! something's happening in my butthole! alot of involuntary contractions similar to what happens when you sock your bro in the thigh just to watch it twitch where you hit him. this is not my sphincter that's doing this. i dunno if it's muscles surrounding the intestine or if it's my prostrate. this happened the first time 2 days ago and has been occurring sporadically since.
inb4 "get the dick out of your ass" --- i'm straight.

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Lmao at the first two sentences

ya - but it's not a joke post. this shit's still going on as i type. need some advice before i fork over $$$ to visit a proctologist

There is a chance u have prostatitis. physical therapy plus internal massage should help mitigate this imo

googling "colon spasms" leads me to irritable bowel syndrome which is a dead end as the spasms arent painful

Tumors pulsate sometimes. Go to a doctor.

cant describe this as "pulsating" -- "arhythmic sporadic twitches" would be a better description. hoping an user who has had the same symptoms can chime in

I get this too op i always figured it was a tapeworm trying to wriggle its way out of my ass

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...

Or trying to wriggle in...

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How long did it last
Did something trigger it

Just a guess but there might be a dick up your ass.

>inb4 "get the dick out of your ass" --- i'm straight.
what fucking part of this did you not understand?

Just take the dick out.

Kids adopted right? Looks way too black to be mixed

kek - this guy's obsessed with dicks

You're a newfag faggot OP.

not OP. but you do seem to be obsessed with homosexuality

You too sound like there's a dick up your ass, faggot.

projecting this much
>>>/lbbt/

rip asscanceraids

just how far up are you talkin?

like knuckle deep or phone a friend?

i havent stuck my finger in my ass but it feels fairly close to butthole but not sphincter muscle

well if i was you id get a mirror and some gloves and go exploring. if it isnt pain and it isnt blood then its nothing serious.

might be a parasite like a tapeworm tho

But you did stuck a dick up your ass?

Your boypussy is ovulating, perfectly normal

home exploration seems inevitible at this point. shit. fuck.

>>>/lbgt/

jesus christ. Going to a doctor shouldnt be a life decision.
See a doctor, get it checked. Maybe it's hemorrhoids about to pop.

>he lied about not being OP
Lol salty fag with a dick up his ass

Welcum to /fit, that is expected around these parts

>inb4 "get the dick out of your ass" --- i'm straight.
There is obviously no dick in your ass, you would have known this and wouldnt feel the need to ask what is wrong.

The problem is the opposite, your asshole is craving cock.

>B-but I'm s-s-straight..!
Yeah sure. Ok. Use your fingers then, use a dildo, whatever. Just give your asshole what she wants, massage those cravings away and the contractions will stop. Make sure to use a lubricant.

it's just a grape don't worry.

You're straight, but you were cursed with a gay butthole.

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tfw this literally happened to me

Get some potassium in you.