How do I convince my gf to fart in my mouth?

How do I convince my gf to fart in my mouth?

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You don't.

why the fuck would you want that?

>Anonymous
>03/19/18(Mon)16:40:46 No.45221299 Anonymous 03/19/18(Mon)15:40:46 No.45221299why the fuck would you want that?

BBBBBBBBBRRRRRRRRRRRAAAAAAAAAAAPPPPPPPPPPPPPPPPPsnnnnniiiiiiffffffffffff...oh yes my dear....sssnnnnnnnnnnnniiiiiiiiffffffff....quite pungent indeed...is that....dare I say....sssssssnniff...eggs I smell?......sniff sniff....hmmm...yes...quite so my darling....sniff....quite pungent eggs yes very much so .....ssssssssssssssnnnnnnnnnnnnnnniiiiiiiffffff....ah yes...and also....a hint of....sniff....cheese.....quite wet my dear....sniff...but of yes...this will do nicely....sniff.....please my dear....another if you please....nice a big now....BBBBBBRRRRRRRAAAAAAAPPPPPPPFFFFFFFFLLLLLLLLLPPPPPPPPPFFFFFF Oh yes...very good!....very sloppy and wet my dear....hmmmmm...is that a drop of nugget I see on the rim?...hmmmm.....let me.....let me just have a little taste before the sniff my darling.......hmmmmm....hmm..yes....that is a delicate bit of chocolate my dear....ah yes....let me guess...curry for dinner?....oh quite right I am....aren't I?....ok....time for sniff.....sssssnnnnnnniiiiiiiiffffffff.....hmmm...hhhmmmmm I see...yes....yes indeed as well curry......hmmm....that fragrance is quite noticeable....yes.....onion and garlic chutney I take it my dear?.....hmmmmm....yes quite.....BBBBBBRRRRRRRRPPPPPPFFFFFFFFFFFFFFFFFFFFFTTTTTTTTTTT Oh I was not expecting that…that little gust my dear….you caught me off guard…yes…so gentle it was though…hmmmm…let me taste this little one…just one small sniff…..sniff…ah….ssssssnnnnnniiiiiffffffffffff…and yet…so strong…yes…the odor….sniff sniff…hmmm….is that….sniff….hmmm….I can almost taste it my dear…..yes….just…sniff….a little whiff more if you please…..ssssssnnnnnniiiiiffffffffff…ah yes I have it now….yes quite….hhhhmmmm…delectable my dear…..quite exquisite yes…..I dare say…sniff….the most pungent one yet my dear….ssssnnnnniiiifffffffffffffffffffffff….yes….

You need to slowly ease in into domination play with body postures and bodily fluids.
You start her off by making her blow you and talk dirty to her, ask her if she likes the taste and when she replies yes you tell her you love her.
>Women feed off positive attention, you have to train them like a cat.

You start inviting her to go to the bathroom with you when you pee. After a while ask her to hold it for you as you pee. Give her a kiss when she does. After that has become foreplay you tell her you that you kind of want to pee on her, like a rabid dog marking territory. Ask to pee down her leg, when she agrees kiss her and tell her you love her. Pee on her.

You continue to slowly blurr the lines that separate bodily fluids with sex, uniting the two in a culmination of anal sex. The key to getting your girl to do anal is slow psychological manipulation. You know your girl is submissive and receptive to your kinks when you can take her doggy style and put a finger in her butt and ask her if she likes it.

After that you should eat her ass, while you do make sure to rub her clit so it feels amazing for he, until she comes from it.

Then from eating her ass and asking her to fart in your face it's just a matter of asking the question in a dominant perverted way.

what the fuck

can we please stop with the fart meme? it is not funny.

You think people are into this as a joke? Go to /aco/ and see how hard they're laughing at brapposts

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>cook a heavy bean and peppers meal, without mentioning farting at all. Maybe cook em into tacos or burritos
>wait a few hours
>tell her you want to eat her out
>do it from behind, having her lay flat with a pillow under her pelvis
>make the act very involved by jostling her, having her shake her ass, etc
>her movement and relaxtion will cause the inevitable fart to slip from betwixt her cheeks
>laugh it off at first
>casually mention it at a later time
>jokingly ask her to do it again
>the combination of laughter and lust will create psychological gratification from her farting and she'll want to do it all the time
There. Also I got a boner typing this

Trips confirm