give me your best.
Best Veeky Forums stories and gen humor thread
John Moore
Xavier Barnes
When Yaboydave went to prison for exposing infidelity
Christopher Roberts
Anyone have the webm of the guy actually giving a bowl of eggs to some lonely roastie?
Leo Gray
Noah Brown
Eli Harris
the gym bro who was haunted by a ghost is probably the best Veeky Forums story
Ryder Diaz
Luke Jones
Pls share
Jose Moore
see gold
Lucas Hughes
Everyfucking time
Tyler Russell
this is just holy fucking kek
Grayson Rivera
Be me
>10 years old hanging out with my buddies
>lets call them james and elliot
>elliot weeks prior to this even broke his leg by taking james older brothers long bored to the top of my steep street and proceeded to say "IM GUNNA DO A LOOPTY LOOP" as he traveled down the steep slope
>dumbass didnt know how to break
>hits curb going 30mph and is throne 30 feet braking his leg in multiple places and has to wear massive cast from ankle to pelvis
>fast forward back to story elliot cannot really do shit besides drag himself around his house like kid with cerebral palsy without there canes
>we end up going up to his bedroom to play some board games
>i enter the room to see mousetrap set up and ready to play
letsdothis.jpg
>james and elliot and i sit down around the board to play
>then elliot tells james and i that the game was just a cover so we can play truth or dare
>i didnt think any of it
>truth or dare was ok for the first couple questions
>then elliot asks james for a dare or some shit
>says "lets try somthing fun"
>elliot instructs james to drop his pants
>im just sitting there thinking "the fuck is happening here?!"
>they sit indian style facing each other and proceed to bob there heads back and forth sucking each others vienna sausage dicks like drinking water bird desk toys.
>i get in a chair and face a wall horrified on what i just say
> all i can hear is smacks and the occasional "user join in its fun"and it tastes good"
>the fuck have i gotten myself into
>they finish up and i return to the game mortified on what i just witnessed
>elliot and james get bored and say they want to play sonic on the game cube
>i agree and as they travel downstairs to the game room i plot my ways to gtfo of that sucky sucky house
>tell them mid game that i need to go home for some made up bullshit, (i dont remember the excuse twas a long ass time ago)
>i leave and bolt home
cont
Lincoln Price
oh great....
Robert Bennett
the greatest post of all time
Jackson Ross
Is prepubescent kids that don't undertand what sex is sucking each other's dicks gay?
Can it be gay if you don't know what gay is?
Grayson Watson
Dont ask just continue
Nolan Parker
cont
>i get home and open front door and speed up to my mothers room
>she asks how im doing and before she can finish i blert out "JAMES AND ELLIOT WERE SUCKING WEEIINERRSS!"
>in shock she asks me to say what i just said back to her
>tell her again while she processes what i had just told her(she is a super catholic imo)
>2 hours pass and the door bell rings and both james and elliot with there parents are at my front door
>they apologise to me and my family for what they had done and leave
>james dad was a marine and was so mad that he threatend elliots parents that he was gunna sue them for making his son gay
>on that day i new for a fact that i was not gay
>i stopped hanging out with the sausage suckers after that and years pass
>im in middle school now and only my family know of the sausage sucking escapade(this is relevant in the future)
>james has since moved away and never hear from again while elliot still lives on the same street
>he rides the same bus as me and is a year older than me
>thinks hes hot shit and is dick to me while we ride bus
>i remember that i have dirt on him that will blow open his ego like the nukes did to the japs in ww2
>i slowly start to spread the story to people on the bus that day
>people burst out laughing on the dick sucking escapade
>unbeknownst to me that very same day my brother whom was 2 years ahead of me in 8th, during lunch told his entire table the story of the sausage sucker
>the story spread like a wildfire on a hot dry day through the entire school
>funny thing was that i didnt even know that it had happend at the same time and the best part was that i didnt even tell him to do it
>story so good that it spreads to the highschools in the area
>elliots ego so destroyed that he has his parents pick him up before school is over
cont
Tyler Nguyen
Oh man.
That must have been devastating.
I never sucked cock, but I did do a whole bunch of embarrassing shit as a kid that would be horrible if spread around, as I think most did
Connor Turner
>i get home feeling like a god knowing on what i had just done
feelsgoodman.jpg
>parents angry at older brother when i get to the kitchen
>i find out it was a joint effort
>i laugh my ass off even more knowing that elliot will never be able to let this down
>parents then sculled me saying "you shouldent do terrible things like that user"
>parents got a call from elliots furious parents
>my parents go to elliots house to talk to his parents about what went down at school that day
>elliots parents were saying that he went home balling his eyes out because every one knew his nasty secret and wanted to know who was responsible
>they tell them it was me and my brother
>elliots rents starts to spew bullshit like "he was young and he was just experimenting"
>mom says that "he must to have seen it done somewhere to know what he was doing"
>mom accuses elliot of seeing his parents fuck
>elliots mom gets even more heated
>then my dad breaks the argument saying"i was in the navy and i have been pretty damn drunk in my life'but i have never been drunk enough to suck another mans cock!"
>they argue for another hour and return and they tell me i cant play with elliot anymore
>i go to highschool and it seems the story died with the middle school
>years go by and i graduate and dont see sausage sucker for a while
>fast forward to present day tell story to sis boyfriend, learn he was good friends with him in uni and would do hw with him
>he now dosent let him in his dorm fearing that he will try to suck his sausage
and thats it lads hope you enjoyed
Connor Wilson
>I have been pretty damn drunk in my life, but I have never been drunk enough to suck another man's cock!
based dad
Cameron Peterson
Story sucked... you and your family sound like a bunch of pieces of shit desu. He's probably going to go on and live a good life and you'll always be an edgy little bitch.
Jose Smith
u mad elliot?
Justin Collins
Jaxon Johnson
Hi Elliot!
Alexander Wright
Juan Edwards
Me and my friend blew each other in the shower when we were 9, just for a couple of minutes though. I don't think he's gay but I'm kind of gay(like girls, never fucked a guy but would probably fuck a guy if he was good looking enough)
Henry Bennett
Me and my older brother(2yrs older) used to blow each other. I'm the same way. I like girls but would probably pork a hot dude. When I was young I thought most guys experimented with their siblings. Boy, was I sure wrong.
Evan King
Evan Baker
Pecker licker confirmed
Kevin Lopez
I too am existentially thorsty.
William Reed
Jack Parker
Amen dude. Eating pussy is for idiots.
Nice trips btw
Liam Phillips
How does it affect your relationship with your brother? My friend and I never mentioned it again, never did it after the one time and stopped talking when we got to high school.
Jaxon Walker
Christ
Nathan Rogers
Not the best but a satisfactory thread
Ayden Taylor
A classic
Jose Gutierrez
Fucking hell. The absolute state of modern journalism.
Lucas Carter
Adrian Cook
James Reed
wow, i read that mountain of text for zero payoff.
your story isn't as funny as you think it is, and you're just a douche.
like you ruined a guys entire life just for you and your brother to get a couple laughs about something he did as a kid.
I hope karma is real and you get yours one day
Angel Kelly
Kayden Campbell
I'm not reading this shit
Jaxson Hughes
I'd kill to see this made into a film or short
Blake Edwards
Are you 12?
Blake Wright
It's a story about an user who fucked a hairy hippie girl, he even ate her out and had his teeth flossed by her pubes.
But there's a twist, turns out the bitch was on her period. Our beloved user finds this out after he's eaten her out twice and fucked her to kingdom come, as he enters his bathroom to cleanse himself and in the mirror sees his bloody reflection.
Wyatt Lee
Lincoln Bailey
>skwat
Don't know why but that always gets me kekkin'
Eli Hall
DETET THIS