Mires Thread

a-user... i....

>home gym
>nobody ever seen my powerlevel

I lift for the fatherland, not for sl00ts

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>On vacation in Russia
>Hot sloots everywhere
>In bed with one of them
>8/10 in looks, 5/10 in English
>She takes my shirt off
>You have...sport body
>I kek and put my sport dick inside her

Why are you reposting something that's in the humor thread, faggot?

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Works if both participants are African Americans.

"sport body" in Russian is at best ottermode, or toned. Not jacked or anything of the sort.

>talking to girl
>tell her I'm not very experienced with women
>she tells me that surprises her, since I'm very handsome.
>Literally no girl ever except family members have ever said I'm handsome.

Feels good, pls no bully.

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Me too mate me too. Women look away like they're either nervous or I'm a mutant. And I'm an ugly dyel so it's probably the latter. Steadily making gains tho..

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How autistic do you have to be to think this needs explaining?

Hiding your powerlevel while among other humans is the patrician thing to do. Only plebs reveal it

From the sound of it, the guy who wrote that comment thought that "sport body" means something like "athletic body", which is not the case.

> Getting drinks with some coworkers
> one coworker brings her friend that I've met once before
> her and her friend switch seats "so she can talk to X"
> her friend is now sitting next to me
> she starts talking about fitness and stuff
> asks me to flex my arm for her
> grabs my bicep and says "you're sexy user"
> has that look in her eyes
> bring up fact that I have gf
> see her drop
She was a good looking girl with a bubbly personality too

>Stops being winter
>Stop wearing puffy coat
>Lady at work comes behind me and puts her hands on my shoulders
>Have you been working out user? Where did these come from

y-you too

>Skinny guy at work who goes to the gym once a week and hates me because i called him a labrador when he had am allergic reaction to chocolate
>user is on the juice

Tfw im DYEL

Still a jealous mire tho.

pete rubish in the /based/ment

Not exactly body mire but last night I hooked up with this chick I used to work with. She was so much hotter than I remembered.
Anyway
>pulls down my pants
>*girly squeal*
>"You're hung, user!"

Made me feel really good, desu

>got asked to teach religious education classes to kids at my parish

Spiritual mire

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>Be 23yo me
>Have 18yo female friend who doesn't have any other friends in country, very platonic, her mum loves me
>Don't see her for 4-5 weeks, she complains I gym too much
>Her long distance BF comes over, wants me to meet him since I'm her only friend here
>First thing she says when I get there "wow gyms really been working" and grabs my arms in front of him
>Can't imagine what he must have felt at that time

Nice. The first mires are the best

Ouch. Iktf

>Asian chick in the student apartments loves my muscles
>we go out and I eat her pussy that night
>we become a couple
>ask her what she likes about American guys
>she loves when they're /ft/

Sadly, I have no BWC, only 15 cm. Is there any point in attempting to be Chad if your cock is under 6 inches?

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Well done!

>I stopped going to church several years ago.
>I still know everyone because its a small community.
>Past couple of years ive become a pagan
>I get calls once a month from the church to help them.
Usually only 3 people show up including me and i do all of the work. Last year i built a float for this church, painted it, bought all of the hay, called in a few favors, and drove it through the parade. Next month im going to cook a hog for the grand celebration.

I dont understand how i can be a pagan who doesnt go to church but contribute more to my local church than actual members.

>Talking to girl about her band
>They're down a lead guitarist
>Asks me to play for them
>"Lol nope"
>Too bad, if we had you we'd have all the chicks come to our shows

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>be me
>jerking off boyfriend (he likes it fast)
>get pump
>says "wow user your veins are popping"
>he cums

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smile and if she smiles back at you approach casually, something like "leg day today?". then proceed from there like a normal person

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I'm not even remotely big but I've got some good bicep vein genetics. I go to some chosen ones [goyim aint allowed] clubs that actually pay you to go and give you free food. I see girls mirin my veins sometimes. A qt once asked me if I workout, I've had more than one person tell me girl X finds me attractive. Sadly lifting doesn't cure autism so still a khv.

how big is your dick?

>like a normal person
>Veeky Forums
I can say "leg day today?" but after that you gotta keep helping me.

holy shit. literally just talk to them like you are seriously interested in them. All that bullshit about friendzones is false as long as she's still attracted too you. if she seems happy and engaged in the conversation for more than a couple minutes than ask for her number and dinner or a movie. I ain't hard she's already attracted to you, all you need to do is come off confident so you don't seem like the insecure faggot you are

but i am an insecure faggot, lifting didn't cure my autism. How do I keep up a conversation for several minutes, I literally don't know what to say after "leg day today?"

the easist way to do it is just to ask questions. Ex. "ya leg day erryday" "oh do you like squats or something?" "ya low bar is my favorite excercise" "what makes it your favorite?" and so on to infinity

here's list of girls that ever mired me:

>post first shirtless pic online
>few hours later text a friend (he happens to be gay) if he still wants to hang out on Sunday
>he says yes
>"body looking good user" he texts after that
That was my first and only mire.

I feel user ends up being an autistic interviewer

>been intermittent fasting
>down 11 pounds, looking much more defined
>making friends at the gym
>tfw they refer to you as "big user"
>loud Polish guy at the gym tells me I'm lookin huge and asks me if I'm a bodybuilder or if I compete
>"nah man, I do this for fun"
fuckin love slavs
>about to take a long bus trip
>bus driver checks my ticket then asks me if I have any weed with me (Colorado)
>"do you play football? you're lookin fit, I used to be fit"

>at the gym
>cute as fuck girl constantly looking at me
>want to talk to her but the only way of starting a conversation with her would be correcting her squat form
help me

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have you ever had any friends whatsoever? If you can't do this naturally then you're going to need to practice on randoms

>in gym
>pissening pump
>stringer tank
>saw a girl literally take a picture of me through the mirror

that bitch thought she was sneaky

yeah I have like 8 friends, 4 which I would consider close and I can actually dominate social gathering in terms of attention if I can smell the beta in the room like a wolf [ironic I use this I know]. But I completely break down when I'm only with a girl, I become a completely different person I can't even explain it. I start to stutter, can't think a proper thought, I'm not able to be myself and I don't even know what myself is. You can't be honest with women so I don't understand how to properly fake myself.

If you are as big as you say so are, you probably have the assumed right to correct people's form so go for it my mans.

honest? you aren't telling them your life story. just omit the fact that you browse Veeky Forums and watch anime and you'll be fine.
also practise

you made it bro

I don't even watch anime, and I only go on Veeky Forums infrequently now a days.

Also can't practice if I'm a pathetic pussy.

>>jewish nightclubs
I feel like I need to know more about this. Is everyone of a particular sect? Orthodox? Are all types welcome in each of the places, or is it different for each one? Do they have the fuzzy hat ones? I hear they are in a feud with the flathats over the nature of Mosaich or something.

Every slav I've ever known was loud. curious, and "homely", like a big brother you never met.

Fuck I wish I was still getting noob mires... when I lost the weight and got fit it boosted my confidence so much.. it was like being high... I've gotten used to them and now it's just whatever and sometimes even pathetic.. like when a girl drops the spaghetti..

I don't have anything special just compliments like "you should be a model" you look like x" etc.. and stares and girls (normally less attractive ones) being unable to speak properly to me lol

>asks me if I have any weed with me (Colorado)
Where from mang? Just moved to Westminster and looking for friends

>eating lunch out with my wife
>much younger, and thinner girl walks up to me
>starts feeling on my arms and shoulders
>she's mirin hard
>wife giggles just a little
>cant believe she's not mad
>other girl can barely talk and just starts babbling
>starts sitting in my lap
>wife yells no! and tells her to get down
>girl ignores and her and continues to sit in my lap and grabs my arm harder
>wtf? girl starts eating the food off my plate
>realize the girl isn't mirin and is just my 2 year old daughter. oh well

He probs assumed you were banging her lmao. What a bitch. You shouldve of if u didn't end up doing it

nice

Still counts doe

Smh

>2 weeks ago I went out
>Gay dude I used to train standing with hot girl
>Said hey to him and she came up and gave me a hug as we met
>kept felling back muscles and touched all of my back and then chest and shoulders from the front
Not a bad start to the night

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Gratitude brother, gratitude.

If you only do what you are able to do you will never be anything more than what you are

She ended up dumping him because he told her she can't be friends with me because he thought I was into her.
I wasn't then, but we are now. Turns out telling your woman she can't be friends with her only friend turns them off of you.

>walking home from a club
>walk past drunl girl
>"hey what's your name?" she says
>"user" then my phone rings and I answer, tell her I have to take the call and walk on
>hear her say to her friend as I'm walking off "anons got a nice ass"

Skellyfag with glasses gets no mires.
feels bad.

Who the fuck is user

Subway girl has been flirting with me.

>be me
>start going to gym at 2:30 every day
>q.t is there around that time every weekday
>every once in a while I see guys approach her and get shot down
>s-she’ll never notice me...
>focus on my lifts
>occasionally I will catch her glancing at me in the mirror.

W-what is happening /fit?/

>be me finish gym session
>decide to use the steam room after
>nobody really around
>close eyes and relax
>here door open and close but keep eyes closed
>after a while I decide to leave
>open eyes
>twinky little guy sitting really close to my I think he was stealthily sliding closer to me
>he's staring at me but looks away quickly when I see him
>have shower and leave
Fucking stealth gays

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Keep getting fitter and stop fapping, before you know it you'll be talking to her.

when i bulk chunky women and white women and women with daddy issues are after me

when i cut and fuck up and where something that shows off my body women tend to go full slut around me and get touchy.

i like the attention but i dislike interacting with people
it's an odd thing.

It's not how big your dick is bud, it is what they let you do with it. Fuck them in the ass and then cum on their face. Definitely a chad after that.

lol, thanks m8

Talk to chicks like they are guys and you are not thinking about fucking them. Girls hate thirsty guys. Literally talk about things you like and if they find you attractive they will play along. Oh shit, step 1, ask people to talk about themselves. Everyone ia an expert on their own life and fucking love talking about it.

Really good advice, actually. Don’t ever make it obvious you want to fuck someone.

>Went to river with coworkers and another girl
>week later
>coworker tells me her friend told her when seeing me with shirt off, that she should fuck me

Lmao i consider myself small af
188 6'2

100% agree with this.

>get my shit together and workout
>Not even otter mode but getting my noob gains. Dropped weight too so I look semi decent
>Get compliments and comments. Feels good
>Meet qt Asian girl at new job
>Notice she is always looking at my forearms when I have my sleeves rolled up
>Always looking at biceps if I carry anything
>Get along with her like no other woman I've met
>End up in relationship, she's always grabbing biceps now. Encourages me to lift
>Getting intimate for first time, she's super nervous. Put her hand on my dick and she jumps out of bed wide eyed saying there's not a chance it would fit.
>Now she is too scared to go any further so slowly getting her used to the thought

Feels good man, shame I haven't got any yet but it still feels damn good.

>be foreign grad student, ex fatty lifting for some years
>had office job and long term gf before arriving, gf dumps me a few months before moving (not that the relationship was going anywhere, lived in another city and she wasn't willing to move with me)
>start cutting right upon arriving here
>losing ~2 lbs per week (50 lbs so far and counting... this was waay overdue, and easier since this time around I lifted and actually have some muscle to preserve)
>go out on St Patrick's day with a female classmate, her bf and a friend of hers
>bf and her friend go to the restroom
>"btw user, you're looking great"
>later on she asks me if I'm looking for a gf or anything
>tfw I'm not
>tfw I don't want to lead anyone on since I have no idea if I'll even be here this time next year... that's contingent on getting a job
>tell her I'm not but guess I'll use tinder over the summer for some hook ups or something

Simple yet nice mire, I guess. Not the only one like this, although only from people who've known me since I got here.

I'm not really huge (hell, I'm hoping to unlock ottermode... lost the weight without lifting while having little muscle mass, so ended up as a skinnyfat with no muscle), so maybe this isn't surprising even if I've been lifting for a while. Also my ex was a gains goblin and a 4 year long distance relationship is a huge gains killer by itself (6 hours trip weekly at night by bus to get to the office from her house = no sleep).

I really hope I can finally get to see my abs. It may be vain, but I would just like to mire myself and how far I've come from my years as a fatty with little muscle. Maybe, ultimately the mire that we need the most is from ourselves...

Is someone bullying you user?

Wholesome post

HALFTIME THREAD RECAP:

actual goblin autists:
meaningless events:

manlets/weightlets:

(both)

ironic degenerates:

unironic degenerates:

>jumps out of bed
alrighty man:

15 cm is basically 6'' (5.9'' in case of autism).

Don't worry.

Cut it out man

>at work at my desk
>some old co-worker I have never seen is here to visit
>Indian shit skin, 50+
>has his two daughters with him
>sexy early 20s
>both of them walk past then snap their head to the side to look at me
>have a 8/10 face so I have had this my whole life

Not jump out but stood up out of bed and was shocked

Either way you can believe it or not, I felt fantastic regardless.

>had this my whole life
>the one I decide to post is about shit skin Indians

most recent one (yesterday)

>put my sport dick inside her
kek

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I liked this recap, thanks user

Ur mom gay

Exactly 7 inches usually, with a girth of around 5, give or take depending on how horny I am. I think it looks kind of skinny most of the time but I think that's just poor body image, girls always seem to think it's huge. But girls also have NO IDEA how to estimate dick size lol. One girl told me "You've got to be at least 10 inches" and I was just like baka dumb bitch

I think for a lot of people, church isn't really about religion or spirituality as much as it is community, so you're getting to experience that part of it without the religious aspect.

shut up furkan. it wasnt funny the fjrst time either

>wide eyed
alrighty man

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I had my first honest to God mire today.
>at grocery store
>ask sample-giving dude where bathroom is
>he points the way
>out of the blue says to me "you hit the gym?"
>me: "uh... yeah"
>"you look like you work out"
>"yeah man, i do, no one's ever said that to me before"
>"no prob"
I don't think he was gay or being creepy either, seemed like he was just making conversation
Then I went to the bathroom and got ambushed on the way out by some degenerate weirdo asking for money. Was a weird grocery trip

>go to a pub with friends, dont like drinking that much anymore because muh gains
>girl and beta bf sit across us
>she is staring
>i smile and smugly stare back
>wave my hand at her
>she laughs and lowers her head
>bf gets restless, gets up, goes asking for the tab
>tells her to stay right there because they're leaving
>probably scolded her or something
>she doesn't lift her head at all while he's gone
>10 minutes and they're gone
Was that a mire, bros?