He wants to risk another relationship after being previously burned before

>not becoming stronger and thus less heartbroken the next time
What's with fit being demotivational lately?

>I feel like women don't have the emotional awareness that men have. This results in them not knowing what they want or how they feel.
Complete opposite virgin. They know exactly what they want they just dont want to have to spell it out to you.

I've never been dumped before

My female friend recently told me that I'm always overthinking things when it comes to girls and relationships. Basically I've come to think there's something wrong with me and I try to change my personality accordingly. I do realize she's essentially telling me to "be myself" but it's not always bad advice.

It only took 5 months to get over

:*^)

ever watch a girl flip-flop between the same two guys for a year straight?

Because neither was giving her exactly what she wanted, they both did parts of what she wanted.

It has nothing to do with 'not knowing what you want' and everything to do with the guys not acting right.

Its no different from a guy flip-flopping between multiple partners because one is a really cute shy girl he likes because shes so trustful and the crazy but amazing in bed slut he fucks.

What you want as a guy is that shy cute sweet girl who is also amazing in bed. You know what you want you just aren't getting it from the same person.

Yeah me too, lost one girl because her visa expired but it was hardly being dumped
Poor OP

Why are girls so heartless

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Oh I mean I'm a virgin I can't get dumped if I don't get laid

You fucking normie

i just started a course, feeling really confident and happy since i started lifting.meet a really cute girl who i talk to a bit and sits next to me all the time, i try to add her on facebook and she leaves my request sent without accepting it for like 2 weeks, then blocks me

>Last girl I liked
>She led me on with false signals (sitting on my lap WHILE she had a boyfriend, spending a lot of one on one time with me etc)
>She invites me to her place
>itshappening.jpg
>She makes me sleep on a spare mattress and that's that
>Go home and feel pissed and confused
>Cut contact and have spoken to her in 4 years
>Can't trust women anymore, especially after my first and only gf dumped me for being "too nice" and fucked a random bad boy the same day
>Have game and just get what I want out of women and cut contact afterwards
>Not sure if I can love again
>Still makes me sad to see my younger sister in a genuinely great relationship with a good guy because that type of thing rarely happens

On the brightside, once my new job starts, I'm going to the gym properly this time and working towards getting a degree in STEM. I want people like that girl that used me to KNOW that I'm better than them in every way possible.

Now this is shitposting i can get behind

>on Veeky Forums
>afraid of pain
get over it or you're not gonna make it

how old are you? Id say be happy for your sister instead of bitter. But if you are still

so what fuck it. numbers game

fml im a dude and i can relate to women like that

why did nature make it this way?

>tfw can't trust women and starting to feel that friendship isn't that great either

>Only friend I had left was going to hang out with me recently
>Text him to see when he's coming over
>"Oh sorry, I have to drive to the countryside for something so I can't come over..."
>Figure that it's just work related and leave it at that
>Facebook account reactivated it's self, so I had to deactivate it again
>Decide to look at some profiles before I do
>Look at his
>There's a post from the day where we were supposed to hang out
>He blew me off so that he could camp with a whole bunch of his friends and gf
>If I didn't ask when he was coming over, he probably wouldn't have cancelled and just ghosted me

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>There are people this pathetic posting on fit RIGHT NOW

23, but don't get me wrong, I am genuinely happy for her. When I say I'm sad, I'm sad at myself, not her. I'm glad she found a genuinely good guy at a young age and never did the slut stage. I can't wait to see her get married soon.

Both of my exes have told me I'm an amazing boyfriend. It's too bad the first was constantly going behind my back to mutual friends and asking for relationship advice, which pretty much invalidates that. The second ex turned out to be a lesbian instead of bi. Good times. She actually helped me get over her, funny enough. Too bad she couldn't see where coming out to me when I gave opened up my heart to her on our 6th month anniversary about how I don't need to be the center of her universe, I just need to feel like I matter to her with "desu I'm not sure I like men" was heartless and a major source of contention in our friendship going forward. Not even trying to be a dick here, but Aspbergers is a bitch.

So yeah, I'm keen to try again, but I'll probably not go for anything too terribly serious for a while yet. Dating is definitely a game of risk/reward, but the reward when you find the right partner for you far outweighs the risk in my opinion.

Unless you get married to a heartless bitch that drains you of all your money in the name of allimony and child support, in which case I weep for you

The feels never go away but sometimes the girl comes back. Take the opportunity to do what you should have done from the start, be it to treat her right or to tell her to fuck off.

well thats good. id say just keep working on yourself. dont lose your spark for life. As you experience more things, life starts to become easier.

Dude we all want someone who can just be themselves and is perfect for us, while respecting us for who we are.

But we fuck it all up by pretending we are better/worse than we are, lying, being dishonest and distrustful. And we dont do it because we are greedy or selfish, we just desperately want to be wanted and have that perfect relationship so we bend who we are to try and make a fit.

You just have to be yourself, and keep trying. You'll be more successful if you lie, but you'll be unhappy with yourself if you do.

Here is the real redpill regarding friends.

The only reason to have friends is so you don't look weird doing hobbies alone (watching movies, eating out, etc etc).

Do not expect loyalty from them or expect them to care about your feelings because they won't 99% of the time.

ltrs and families seem to do the same thing

who are you supposed to be close to then?

Comes back to my original point. They know what they want but they lack the emotional awareness to articulate it in there minds. You could be right about women just not wanting to spell it out. I just don't see alot of evidence for it in my own life

is that why they dont know how to describe things?

Don't listen to him. I have friends I've known since I was 14 that I still hang out with at 22. I'm not gonna lie and say that I've remained fast friends with everyone in my circle since then. Some have gotten married with kids and have no free time, others became flaky with time, others became shitheads, and others simply fell into different circles and we lost what we had in common. People grow and regress, such is life. To say that friends are a waste of time is a blatant falsehood though. Most of the happiest times in my life were with my friends or the family members I'm close to. Though you can't expect to stay friends with everyone forever, if you find the right few friends, you can forge bonds that are nigh unbreakable.

Coming from someone that had a terrible bout with loneliness and depression, take it from me: life without others is truly hollow

>but they lack the emotional awareness to articulate it in there minds.
That isnt it at all. They know EXACTLY what they want and they talk about it all the time, its just more often with their female friends than their actual partner because women will firstly want to see if it is actually a problem, see how other women would deal with that problem, then attempt to fix it by subtle suggestions.

Its the exact same thing as guys do, except we do it all internally. We see a problem, we think about solutions then we just go for something but overtly.

Women are a lot more sensitive to negativity than guys are. If something is wrong it really hampers the entire 'relationship'. Guys can segregate issues and deal with them on a basis-to-basis. Maybe you get mad she is texting at dinner, but you'll probably forget out it tomorrow, and will get mad again in a week when she does it again, then forget about it, but you absolutely wont think the relationship is fucked because of a few issues here and there. Girls will want to ask their friends if that is reasonable that her man texts while you're eating, then see how they dealt with it (then ignore most of them because she thinks they are dumb sluts) then try her own subtle way to fix it.

She wants your attention/validation

Nah he was probably just unlucky and never had a super close family or friends. I have a best friend from the second grade whos about to be my best man. im 26. my mothers side of the family eat dinner at my grandmothers farm every other week so we stay close. family and friends are the best things you can have. if you dont have them, it sucks, but you just gotta build. make friends, start your own family around them if you have to. if you have family that you are sorta distant with but not too distant, try reaching out to them in way thats comfortable for both of you.

legit, mostly this. also they may know exactly what they want, but only what they want at the moment. what they want right now, is not what they need. only after they make enough mistakes will they start to realize what is actually best for them.

ok fuck all the answers in this thread are making me cry

is life hard just because of stupid shit?

Ya dude get confident and excited to tackle new shit, and life becomes fun.

>also they may know exactly what they want, but only what they want at the moment. what they want right now, is not what they need
Guys do the exact same thing. Most of us have been through the same phase of fucking girls we should have known was going to be a disaster but we did anyway. As guys though we get a free pass because 'guys are just horny and it was at least a free fuck' but we realize that shallow fucking around doesn't make us happy in the long run, its more like getting drunk in of itself, a way to forget you don't have someone actually meaningful.

Honestly its the one hypocrisy I cant stand. I fucked around when I was younger a lot and no one will ever hold that against me. Hell I could do it now im in my mid 20s and still get away with it. But any girl who does the exact same thing is going to get railroaded by people for it. We all have to fuck up our own lives before we can put that shit back together.

Shit I have a personal example that only happened a few months ago. I knew a girl who went out to parties most nights, was a massive fucking flirt with everyone and I knew probably wouldn't be faithful because she lived so close to almost fucking guys. But hell every time I was with her it was like it was just two of us and the whole world didnt exist, and she genuinely did trust me and that felt special every time. You know how this story ends; she fucked around. I should have known better, I did know better, but i didnt learn until I burned myself emotionally.

The only problem is when you dont realize it was a fuck up, then its a problem because you learned nothing, which I think generally most people dont learn.

I'm stuck on this one girl I have no chance with. I'm a 6/10 and she's honestly a 9/10. We've hung out a bit and are decently close, but at the moment she's torn between 2 other dudes.

I wish I could just forget her. We used to work together but I got fired, so theoretically it should be easy to move past it, right?

How do you learn to open up and be vulnerable with women again?

Finding the right person is hard because of lots of reasons.

But you will only make it harder for yourself if you dont be yourself. And that sometimes means being yourself in realizing you need to change and improve yourself, and sometimes its realizing that that part of you doesnt need changing at all.

Its not easy finding who you are, who you are comfortable being, who you are comfortable with. Shit user it takes a lifetime to be that wise, and most of us will fuck up a hell of a lot to get there.

>We've hung out a bit and are decently close
You're going to have to define that this means, and how close she is with the other guys. If she is having sex with any other one of them and not you then you're out of luck.

You just have to put yourself out there, no matter how uncomfortable it makes you. I was lucky recently, because I came across a girl who made a shit tonne of effort to be friendly with me.

Just start talking to girls, and it should come naturally as soon as one reciprocates.

>Shit I have a personal example that only happened a few months ago. I knew a girl who went out to parties most nights, was a massive fucking flirt with everyone and I knew probably wouldn't be faithful because she lived so close to almost fucking guys. But hell every time I was with her it was like it was just two of us and the whole world didnt exist, and she genuinely did trust me and that felt special every time. You know how this story ends; she fucked around. I should have known better, I did know better, but i didnt learn until I burned myself emotionally.
I've had this EXACT experience and would like to second the warning. It's one thing to have had a wild phase, but wild girls can't just keep all their old habits and social circles and also be faithful, grounded partners.

i agree that guys do it too, but honestly its harder for us. Look at how many guys are on this website failing at things we consider so basic. A lot of guys have no example to follow, no masculine figure in their life, and so they dont even try cause they are too scared. If they are passive, nothing happens for them. at least some of the girls that are passive, have guys trying to approach them. Thats the only reason girls get judged harder.

Can't turn a ho into a housewife.

is there any other option asides from reaching out to family? ive settled for acquaintance for most people in my circles now

We've definitely only hung out as friends. There's no chance, I was just defining that this isn't some crush-from-a-distance like most Veeky Forums people have.

She's fucking both. One dude she's in a relationship with, and she's on a "break" with him while she sees her ex (who's such a douchebag holy fuck). I'm surprised she revealed this to me, but I guess it was pretty obvious because we all slept in the same house.

>It's one thing to have had a wild phase, but wild girls can't just keep all their old habits and social circles and also be faithful, grounded partners.
I think wild people go one of two ways after they get burned (and they all do, either dumped or some other emotional trigger) they either double down on their wild side or they break free of it and be responsible.

Unfortunately for me mine double downed really hard.
>Im going to Latin America, i want to be free and escape
Great. I wanted to hit Esc on my life at that point.

Are you socially active? By that i mean do you have a job? Do you leave the house everyday?
Cause thats the first step. are you in shape? If not id highly recommend it because people will be more receptive of you.
if you are these things, great. if not, something to keep in mind.
Family relationships are complex and i know nothing of yours, but if you think you can reach out and have them respond in a positive way, then id definitely try it.

Stop giving her attention

>She's fucking both. One dude she's in a relationship with, and she's on a "break" with him while she sees her ex (who's such a douchebag holy fuck). I'm surprised she revealed this to me, but I guess it was pretty obvious because we all slept in the same house.
This is not a girl who is ready for a relationship of any sort.

We cant control that connection to people user, there is no easy way to get around this. Sounds like you spend a lot of time with her but you should probably try to spend a lot of time with other girls so you dont get more emotionally dependent on her. And set boundaries. No over the top physical contact. No her resting her head on your shoulder or anything like that, you're friends not a emotional safety net.

man let that shit go, don't fuck with people who put relationships on 'breaks' and flips back to her ex. this woman will not bring value to your life. her actions show a ridiculous amount of selfishness.

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I don't have a previously to be sad about though

thread theme youtube.com/watch?v=5rOiW_xY-kc

This is probably a good idea, I guess. I spend less time with her now that I've lost my job. My instinct has been to start hanging out more as friends, but I should definitely resist that.

Other girls is important I guess. It's just annoying, because there are literally no single girls in my social group to even hang out with. It's been super dry on that front until I met this girl.

Yeah, that's true, and she even admitted that was the case. She's definitely got a slutty side. The reason she's caught up on the ex is because he's way more extroverted than the current bf.

Pic related is her though, so you probably understand the oneitis.

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It’s not attractive to change yourself for women no matter what. It shows you’re more invested in them than they are in you, ie you’re needy. You need attention. You don’t need anything you do everything for yourself not for others validation. Be a man.

are you decent looking? Got a tinder and have any success with it? If you dont have any consistent way of meeting new girls, you need to get one. Job, hobby, volunteering. Anything that gets you around new people all the time. Thats the key to having a social life.

Here's a more positive one:

youtube.com/watch?v=PIEeYz07I6Y

Not that great looking. I've just returned to Veeky Forums recently as I became kind of chubby desu. I'm better looking thin.

I don't really have a consistent way of meeting girls atm since I lost my job. I definitely need a new one fast. As for hobbies, what hobbies are good for meeting women? Mine are very self driven. That said, I'm vegan, and know of a few vegan groups that have meetups (last one I went to I talked to a few qts)

I know a nice traditional girl, she's probably a virgin, but she lives in another city. We liked each other in high school but we never did anything because she's too shy and I'm a fag.
I'm planning on meeting her whenever I go back to visit, but only as friends, with other people around. I don't know how to advance and I don't even know if I want to.

>That said, I'm vegan
Vegan cooking classes. Firstly; you meet people. Second; you stop being a shitty vegan cook.

but i cant forget how it felt to cuddle her and have her smile and look up at me either...

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>I'm planning on meeting her whenever I go back to visit, but only as friends, with other people around. I don't know how to advance and I don't even know if I want to.
You ask her out on a date. Pick a place you think will be nice, a time you know she is free, and you ask out on a date.

She either says no, which is great because then you can move on, or she says yes, which is great because you can move on with a relationship.

In terms of handling other people when they find out (if she says no) then just laugh and go, oh well worth a shot and treat it like its nothing.

>Positive
Positively wrong mood you mean

youtube.com/watch?v=3p41aRfW0BE

Also user you dont need to know if shes a right fit. Its okay to spend weeks dating someone and then say it isnt working out.

Man the modern age is really fucked because I do this too; we spend so much time talking to other people about someone, looking at their social media, learning how them, but never actually spending time with them to figure out if we like them. Then we make moves at the most ambiguous fucking times like parties or group gatherings which means we never know if it was serious or not.

Honestly we need to bring back the date. The explicit statement that you are interested in starting something to see if it works.

I’d take heartbreak over feeling nothing at all.

Yeah, I think you're right.
And I agree. The expectation to fuck as soon as possible can't be healthy either. It's fucking weird.

>The expectation to fuck as soon as possible can't be healthy either. It's fucking weird.
Its so fucked up. And its absolutely obliterated my early relationships because I started them with fucking and not dating.

>I don't even know nor can get in a relationship in the first place
get me off this sad ride

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>Date her for 6 years
>Highschool sweethearts
> go to neighboring colleges
>out of nowhere comes to my work and breaks up with me a week before our 6 year anniversary
>Get super depressed, drink a lot
> Start hitting the gym agaiin
>PR in every lift, get rage fueled gainz
>Ex marries started dating some dude soon after we split, ran off to vegas and got married after 6 months
>guy is ugly af and fat
>Go get a masters
>Meet a cutie 19yo with a big ass and loves to lift
>Way better in bed and looks at me like a god

My Ex constantly posts about her shitty life on fb ( friends tell me this I blocked her) while I have a younger more attractive girl while bettering myself physically and mentally.

Use the pain to become stronger. We’re all gonna make it

I really feel you man.

ive broke up with my last 2 girlfriends because I cant stop thinking about "her"

>He wants to go to the gym again after feeling so sore after the first time.
Why even bother, it will only hurt

Don't live your life in fear user

You must not have had a real friend in your entire life. Honestly, friends are there, so your life isn't miserable and lonely for the time being. unfortunately, it's true that you'll grow apart from friends you don't see very often, its just part of life.

>sister dates this pretty cool guy for 7 years, they live together and are basically in a common law marriage
>she tells anyone who will listen that marriage is just a piece of a paper and doesn't change anything
>boyfriend proposes to her for real a few months ago
>she has a panic attack, moves out, starts couple counseling
>she's still living with our parents
Why are women so fucking stupid?

From personal experience, I believe during a woman's first, most innocent relationship, they feel the pain a man does. Afterwards they turn into heartless monsters.

Women can go through bad breakups even after the first time. My cousin got cheated on once and hasn't had a bf in 7 years

I was the one dumping and even though if felt lik shit i realized i shouldnt feel bad about not expecting anything good of women.
Just surf the Kali Yuga, boyos.

>after she dumped you
It was mutual.

There are only 3 break ups
You break up
They break up with you
You say its mutual (they broke up with you)

Fuck off, roastie scum.
You dont know what you want.

>Talk to girl today who is a friend of a friend
>Met her two or three times, but hardly know her
>Have a good talk, consisting of discussions on relationships, loneliness, fears, etc. Things you don't normally talk about with someone you hardly know
>Say how I believe there are a certain few who you feel a connection with in life above all others
>Realize I feel this connection with her
>Talk goes smoothly, she has to go to work but wishes she could keep talking to me
>Hug and say bye
Then I realized something. I'm sitting her gushing over the fact that I just had a talk with a girl who was very attractive and nice because I never do that. I'm hoping she is thinking about me, hoping she tries to get in touch with me. But in reality, she's probably already forgotten, she doesn't care. I'm just a guy she had a decent conversation with.
There probably wasn't a connection, I just wanted there to be to escape my loneliness

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>I'm hoping she is thinking about me, hoping she tries to get in touch with me
YOURE THE FUCKING GUY GO SET A DATE YOU FUCKING PUSSY

I don't think so, I know this girl. She literally can get any guy she wants, guarantee she has guys hitting her up 24/7
I'm pretty sure she's the type who hangs out with a different guy every weekend, at least that's her reputation around here. I'd like to not believe it but I dunno, I don't want to be just another guy to somebody

It will hurt a little less though.

Grass is Greener mentality. It's an epidemic in today's society, particularly amongst females I find. The libertarian movement tells young women they can be anything, which is great, but it seems to inspire a sub group of that to feel as if they deserve EVERYTHING. In my opinion it causes them to become quickly bored with whatever place they are at in their life, and then they look elsewhere to find greener pastures, which never really exist. My ex was exactly like this. She would be happy chasing something one week, and then move on to something completely different the next week.

You can't get struck by lightening if you're not standing in the rain, bro.

>Im not good enough shes too good for me im worthless
Holy fucking shit you're going to die alone

>don't attempt something again that failed one time

Pls kill yourself

>another relationship
Get a load of this degenerate