Our guy Brendan is in trouble, and nobody can fix him but us. We have to do this for him, because nobody else can.
We must restore him to slayer mode by the end of 2020.
To achieve this, we need to solve five major problems.
1. Weight. We need to get him on a calorie-controlled, high-protein diet and a vigorous cardio program to eliminate that gut and improve his facial appearance.
3. General ageing. Brendan has not fared well here. Fortunately, a research organisation is working hard to understand an undo the damage of biological ageing. We should contribute to it (for our own sake as well as his - you don't want to end up like him, do you - with strangers on a Japanese scuba diving forum genuinely pitying him?). See www.sens.org for more information.
4. Money. Brendan's finances have been fucked by his ex-wife's extraordinary $900,000 per year alimony payments. We need to raise at least $10 million to afford Brendan the lifestyle a moderately well-known movie star is accustomed to.
5. Mental health. Brendan has been ground down by more than a decade of depression. We need to restore hope to his life. The above methods should be very successful in doing this; but we also need to make sure that he knows that there are people out there who aren't just mercilessly mocking him. We should attempt to communicate directly with him at some point, perhaps after raising a modest initial sum (say $1m) to begin the process of unfucking him.
I'm more goncerned about that gut. Is it even possible getting rid of it ?
Luke Scott
The carnivore diet might help him. But he needs friends first and foremost.
Colton Jackson
We have to make him go from completely given up to the kind of body that makes bitches say Daddy.
Okay. Daily calisthenics to start him off, we have no idea how fucked he is and from how he's moving he's relatively active but not so active that he can do the kind of workouts that are pushed by many. Basic calisthenics and stretching to get him started is ideal
Next is some form of daily activity. His spine is fucked forever so he has no choice but to swim or walk.
Diet. He's going for a one month fast followed by an intermittent fasting schema where he eats nothing except meat and veg and nuts and berries with the occasional bit of fruit. He can go to a 80/20 healthy/shitty diet once he has Intermittent fasting down.
Hair? He should wait for the hair implants form japan or the italian dude who's probably going to be killed in the next few weeks. Current hair implants are kinda trash.
Lastly. He could do with some HGH to help repair some of the damage and a bit of trt to give him a bit of pep.
Maybe he could shave or at least get a buzz cut with a fade.
I believe that a diet and getting rid of that gut are the more pressing matters. It doesn't mean that he should worry with the bodyweight exercises.
Lincoln Howard
>get wind that an online community of dyel virgins have come up with a plan to "fix your life"
The only thing this plan will do is finally push him over the edge of a tightrope line he's been walking for years
Cooper Gutierrez
Here's your (you).
That being said, how would you help Brendan?
Kevin Campbell
Hell Laurer did it and men followed suit everywhere. But...Fraser probably doesn't have the face to pull it off.
Andrew Stewart
I'm not a virgin though I lost mine to a ~35yo hooker called Stephanie but that's ok because she was hot and gave me a milf fetish.
Jackson Long
I do. Funny as fuck movie.
Samuel Long
I laughed like an idiot to this post here take this (you)
Easton Ortiz
He won't make it if he doesn't believe it But we must have faith for him. He'll make it!
Tyler Edwards
go on youtube and lookup "Brendan Fraser the affair interview" skip to literally any point in the video where he is talking
HOLY FUCKING SHIT
Juan Rodriguez
we might have some outcasts, some >tfw no gf, and others with crippling depression but ok lives. That said, I believe we can make this man to go back to being a man. A man with value, and getting his shit together, even if there's some JUST, at least it'll be better. He's hit rock bottom, from here it's either suicide or going back up
Ayden Parker
Doubt is not an option. We are the only ones who could save his ass, if he likes it or not.
Jonathan Nelson
jesus fuck, everytime he talks, it's like he just resisting crying his heart out
Daniel Howard
why the fuck is everyone on Veeky Forums obsessed with brendan fraser? he was just some b tier action movie celebrity. the mummy was alright. that's it. stop. leave him alone.
He's behind two of the most important "meme's" on the net. The just fuck my shit up one...that is thankfully not posted anymore And the one that I sort of started, the where do you think we are maymay.
Owen Campbell
Based user, making up all our memes for us
Nolan Stewart
It's not even really about him, but about what he represents; a man past his prime. It's what everyone here fears. We identify with his pain because we fear becoming him.
Julian Walker
>OP is on Veeky Forums >doesn't recommend lifting weights AT ALL
You have to be a fucking physical therapist or something.
>body is too broken to do anything Because he's fucking weak and fat, muscles support your skeletal structure.
So you just propose doing a bunch of fucking cardio? Snapping up his knees and shit because he's fat and has no muscle? Running and shit is more damaging than lifting weights.
Oliver Wilson
He looks ready to end it all.
Hudson Gray
It's also the opportunity to overcome that vicious kind of everyday, banal adversity. If he can pull away from what he's been through what does that say to the rest of us?
This. Start him off super-light, calisthenics if that's what he can manage, and work up from there. Add in plenty of massage and whatever medical treatments and dietary alterations he needs to help restore connective tissues.
His diet is going to be the main thing to help him shed the excess fat and gut early on.
Parker Price
Set him up with Dolph. If anyone can help him, Dolph can
Like anons have said, all we need to do is start dosing him with high doses of elite tier testosterone and he'll start on the road to unjusting himself all on his own.
/pol/ stole a flag in the middle of the night, we can organise raids on his house and start dosing him with test in his sleep. Also, leave behind some milk and 45lb plates and nature will take care of the rest.
I unironically enjoyed bedazzled, thanks Brendan This desu
Joshua Sanders
did he have some sort of surgery on his stomach
Anthony Sullivan
Old men look weird
William Martin
Compare to his current appearance.
Samuel Carter
Brutal death of his life sucking scum of a wife?
Easton Ross
This isn’t reversible breh, his liver is busted
Luke Fisher
Fuck, my hair looks just likes his. H E L P
Jonathan Bailey
He looks like in he has a massive gut which he sucks in in the current picture.
Nathaniel Ross
How about instead if his wifes car had a manufacturing default, like those exploding Takada airbags, then he wouldn't have to pay alimony anymore
Charles Garcia
Lab-grown organs are achievable in the next decade. We just need him to live long enough to get there.
Charles Williams
He needs to know that there is a way back. Even if he has the will, he needs to know that there is a way.
We need to demonstrate to him that certain things are coming into place (the Japanese hair stuff, the anti-ageing therapies etc) and that there's a reason to keep living, because the future is bright.
Camden Brown
See the link in the OP.
Luke Watson
hello darkness my old friend
Leo Cruz
Appendectomy maybe
Evan Jenkins
holy shit
Daniel Thomas
kek
Nicholas Edwards
He got hurt real bad.
Carson Sullivan
just when the "yeah, i'm thinking he's back" posts were picking up steam...
there truly is no hope for brenny everyone... I mean, maybe there is... but it is a very dim light in the darkness right now JUST
Colton Thomas
Just imagine having the world at your fingertips... actually achieving your hopes and dreams, all for it to come crashing down in an avalanche of brutal despair, knowing full well you'll never be able to gain any film roles, all while your money in slowly dwindling away to fund some voracious harpy, where do you seriously go from there? he is living such a complex and Shakespearean life
Ryder Garcia
all the signs were there if you examine his early 2000's photos - the look in his eyes... he is unsure of how he got to where he is... I think afton could sense this too
Cooper Lee
It's Kafkaesque, quite honestly.
Adam Evans
Still blessed
Tyler Carter
>the year is 2030 >suddenly I see Brendan Fraser on TV >he looks swole, got a big gut too >dressed like in Jersey Shore >Travolta/Trump tier hair >skin color like he fell asleep inside a tanning booth while hooked up to a melanotan IV >creepy expression, unblinking gaze of those bug eyes, probably can't blink ever since the 3rd facelift >unchanging smile that shows off his white reflective teeth that ruins any papparazzi shots, TV camera needs a special lens whenever he's in frame >it's a TV show where D list actors have to go through an obstacle course to win money for charity >Brendan makes a joke about how he's taking the money for himself and doesn't care about the kids with leukemia, then laughs at his own joke >Brendan takes off his shirt after getting it wet from falling in water, thinking that his body is 'statuesque' >imagine being the audience looking at him and his huge gyno and ab implants >Ben Affleck esque tattoo on his back, blurred by the TV show editors, can still make out the shape of the tattoo >looks like a man with wings ascending to Heaven while holding a decapitated head >one of the funny moments in the show is the zoom in on one of the judge's faces as he reads the inscription below the tattoo: "Afton is a c*bleep*" >at this time Brendan knocks a woman competitor off the obstacle course, replay shows her sommersaulting into the water >as the paramedics put her on a stretcher Brendan apologizes and tries to flirt by saying she's "all wet now" >next day Brendan is apprehended by the police after breaking into a hospital's pediatric ward and trying to steal a ceremonial huge cardboard check for 20k, police get a court order to inspect his hotel room and find pictures of his ex-wife, now married to a billionaire, with the eyes cut out, next to candles, occult books, a scalpel, some rope, a ski mask, 12th century torture device replicas, a ton of guns and a dead transgender escort OD'd on coke >bail is set at 20k
How big is his damn hotel room in this alternate reality that he can fit all of that in there?
Colton Baker
Didn't his mom die days before that? :(
Dominic Roberts
Wat a waste.
Connor Thompson
>marrying without a prenup Not that he deserved that absurd alimony payout (why does alimony exist in le current year again?) but he should have known better
Julian Fisher
>prenup Aren't they not worth the paper they're printed on or something?
Ethan Torres
Liver transplants are a thing you know. And they're most successful on the long term than kidney, heart, or lung transplants.
