Hello, little man. Boy, I sure heard a bunch about you. See, I was a good friend of your dad’s...

>Hello, little man. Boy, I sure heard a bunch about you. See, I was a good friend of your dad’s. We were in that Hanoi pit of hell together over five years. Hopefully, you’ll never have to experience this yourself, but when two men are in a situation like me and your Dad were, for as long as we were, you take on certain responsibilities of the other. If it had been me who had not made it, Major Coolidge would be talking right now to my son Jim. But the way it turned out is I’m talking to you, user. I got something for you.

>This Trezor Bitcoin Wallet I got here was first purchased by your great-grandfather during the first World Pump. It was bought in a little general store in Prague, Czech Republic. Made by the first company to ever make Trezors. Up till then people just carried USB sticks. It was bought by private Doughboy Ernie Coolidge on the day he set sail for Paris. It was your great-grandfather’s war wallet and he wore it every day he was in that war. When he had done his duty, he went home to your great-grandmother, took the wallet, put it an old coffee can, and in that can it stayed until your granddad Dane Coolidge was called upon by his country to go overseas and fight the Bears once again. This time they called it World Pump II.

>Your great-grandfather gave this Trezor to your granddad for good luck. Unfortunately, Dane’s luck wasn’t as good as his old man’s. Dane was a Marine and he was killed, along with the other Marines at the battle of Bitfinex Island. Your granddad was facing death, he knew it. None of those boys had any illusions about ever leaving that island alive. So three days before the Japanese took the island, your granddad asked a gunner on an Air Force transport name of Winocki, a man he had never met before in his life, to deliver to his infant son, who he’d never seen in the flesh, his Trezor. Three days later, your granddad was dead. But Winocki kept his word. After the war was over, he paid a visit to your grandmother, delivering to your infant father, his dad’s Bitcoin Wallet.

>This wallet. This wallet was in your daddy’s pocket when he was shot down over Hanoi. He was captured, put in a Vietnamese prison camp. He knew if the gooks ever saw the wallet it’d be confiscated, taken away. The way your dad looked at it, that watch was your birthright. He’d be damned if any slopes were gonna put their greasy yellow hands on his boy’s birthright. So he hid it in the one place he knew he could hide something. His ass. Five long years, he wore this Trezor up his ass. Then he died of dysentery, he gave me the wallet. I hid this uncomfortable hunk of metal up my ass two years. Then, after seven years, I was sent home to my family. And now, little man, I give the bitcoins to you.

holy crap this just happened to me IRL guys
im loaded now, time to give back to Veeky Forums
first 50 addresses get .01 BTC lets go

tl;dr lmao

13e2AK9AuWdWACf94bieh45TcwP1JQzxn5

Thanks Jr Doughboy

1Vi4EttprN9iSHVSWpGq32f62NSGtiQd2

keks

1HWiNYnbdpDreVcY1vSv69RD4kBWZ4famQ

1PhiFUGnhG1w1X5rN1nKcTy3oBsroQZkPH

You are very kinda OP
1EkEwzs13JiKtLiDcydomrQTZaKKhMuZYw

1PfspSsMqBfoNe9rpuqKBg2F93VtzyeJkM

Op will surely deliver
19Nqry7oxJ4AU5LrH35zgJt8WcrYSW6dD8

1AJYakho3gAKvCQZP21zi4Y9MCqo94wX4x
Thank you Sir. Wish you an amazing life for this.

>The way your dad looked at it, that watch was your birthright.
nice slip up, 0/10

1157LKC96SAbZcrrwdLwuwckbSvyHH7o93

>that watch was your birthright
Ya blew it

FUCK

I too have a Trezor.
38i66cNn6z4AGAxwAANypKSimuzH3BXqjq

3FpKQ9cZjfV4TExdJFYYjKbVvkebEYi9KV

Kid replies: Why didn't you just memorize the recovery seed words?

DOH!

Now you have to deliver on account of your failure

1CSy1FzUvwP9WeYm8ungywZvJUJm3HyyJR

zeds dead baby :D

thanks
1JpjC1BTaRrbTRojWSMvwzUx3qEKYjjajt

9/10 good user

1Pxt1vdJXynMnQfHLbB5twzHqmnkEJLSaK

1CoaKLLh4GFyK1qkEsBcoGB8ebnmXQyYGR
please make it habben

8/10 -1 point for the slipup great concept solid execution

THIS ONES GOTTA BE LEGIT FOR SURE
1KmpZJyRmDwLDZuWJnFULCp8P6bGJvPEmR

38sa5JrPqxh6hgfurwVgVWScnomKA3zc48

Thanks to all the brave men keeping Trezors in their asses.

why would someone so generous lie on the internet?

1PvU4vdQ1JrgP7DaNsjwRB5LAoEvJLGQDW

the Veeky Forums connection

this never happens

1LHXobxWXi4wDpBsvCFEecnQAPbEYJQ599

178E7pPnK2ffhTHfWyBEqQ8NKBd8NLNXM7

Let's See

1ixFSBS4sMXJWoEsdRx3v23e8hkNr6dcq

1LKeUEsMgRAtW64a7VZCMCpFvsXiqX1LDP

1EJv9YhjKHeD5pZwDrJ5iagfd8eJ2EsVWs