Have you ever had moments where shit around the gaming table got a little too real, Veeky Forums?

Have you ever had moments where shit around the gaming table got a little too real, Veeky Forums?

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I had a player pull out a knife on me because I killed his mary sue character.

Storytime?

>be me a agnostic with two groups in high school
>after high school a buch of friends leave for jobs/college
>well shit neither party has the people to continue
>how about we start a new DH session with the remains of both party's?
>they like the idea except for this new guy from party two we got a couple months ago
>we decide that he doesn't have to come if he doesn't want to
>both groups show up including new guy
>seems fine at first new guy actually having fun
>newguy makes a sandnigger joke
>sandnigger from party one laughs and makes a whitefag joke
>we all laugh
>except new guy who seems actually mad at the joke
>he makes a "joke" about nukeing sandnigger in disturbing detail
>Nobody laughs
>sandnigger just keeps quiet
>new guy keeps egging him on
>we awkwardly try to get him to shut up nicely
>new guy: why are you quiet? Planning to bomb some American building?
>sandnigger: don't know are you planning on buying some slaves?
>new guy freaks the fuck out and starts to shout and scream about "fucking terrorists"
>we tell him to get out now before we through him out
>says he is trying to protect group two from "the turban lovers"
>we through him out forcefully
>he leaves never to be seen again
Fucking hell what a arsehole

>Dragon Age RPG
>We're at our FLGS chilling
>This kid wants in, our DM, bless him, is too nice to turn him down
>Don't mind either way, maybe he's cool
>He's not
>He's the opposite of cool
>He's the Harold Lauder of uncool
>His character's a hunter guy with a falcon
>He starts listing off (with no provocation) LOADS of falcon facts literally nobody cares about but him like an encyclopedia
>At one point a guy asks what his falcon's name is
>Cold eyes, he says "Falconeers don't give them names, you should know that."
>Awkward silence
>Later
>Someone makes an offhand joke about killing his falcon
>He goes completely dark and serious and we all realize he's not talking about the game anymore
>"You don't want to do that. Trust me."
>Awkward silence all around
>We never see him again

Only the one time when a pair of players conspired to slip a third a love potion so they could fuck his character. We were 14 and it was our first attempt at roleplaying. A few years passed before our second attempt.

A player once came out of the trap closet to me, and also confessed to wanting the D.

A different player told me about the time he was "raped" by a gay roommate.

Another one got a warrant served midsession, police were looking for weed since he was a dealer. dissapears for a few hours, comes back waaay later that night and shittalks cops while smoking a massive joint.

One guy jerked off in a session, he thought he was muted and finnished really loudly.

Then there was the guy who went into detail about his abusive father and explaining why he thought that was related to his bdsm fetish. actually three players have had something like that, now that I think about it, but only one went into that kind of detail.

gamefinders yeild some high quality players.

I should probably specify that the first one wasnt a gamefinder user... unfortunately.

and before you ask, we did not fug, he was not a particularly good looking trap. Also he sudoku'd a little while after.

What do you mean by 'raped,' exactly? Did he say no homo and play a slide whistle after? Was it April 1st and Ashton Kutcher jumped out of the bushes to tell him it was all a prank, bro?

What's a slide whistle?

>play with "roleplaying friendly" group
>two females thank god, one my wife, the other my wife's firend
>generally make the players act out their actions, good times are had
>trying to get past a guard
>this guy is the king of willpower
>finally one of the girls decides to flash the characters tits
>jokingly say that if she rolls a nat 20, she's whipping them out
>rolls a nat 20 and actually whips them out for the hell of it.
>good times indeed

>Also he sudoku'd
Jesus.

This is a slide whistle.

youtube.com/watch?v=WgGTdZT1dgA

I don't know if I should be sorry or fascinated

My curiosity has been sated, for now

he sucked a guy off after the two found out they both were ok with dicks. unfortunately for my player, this guy wasnt his fetish and regretted the dick sucking almost immediately, but felt pressured into the situation so he kept going.
a few days later roommate gets all touchy feely with him and pressures him into getting pegged.

next day he gets head from user again, then lets loose the bombshell that he didnt wash the shit off his dick yet.

...

If that wasn't silly enough, here's some more slide whistle.

youtu.be/z2J2a3UMubM?t=20s

I feel like you're intentionally avoiding saying who actually flashed the group. It was your wife, wasn't it?

Once during high school, a group member brought his really hot but incredibly dumb girlfriend to a session.

He made her a character on the spot and as luck would have it, high charisma and good looks, like hers, were in.

About an hour in, we're back in town after a quick journey from where we left off and haggling over armor prices. She asks if her character (having been found on the journey back) can persuade the blacksmith with seduction.

DM:"yeah sure"
Her: "Does she have big boobs? Can I make her flash him?"
We all laugh a bit and BF and DM agree she can have big boobs if she wants and can try that startegy.

"Well I mean if theyre big like mine it might work."

"Haha maybe, as long as its not all just bra padding."

She gets a bit offended and shouty and almost ends up flashing the whole table to prove her tits are actually that big. I mean she lifted the shirt and was about 5 seconds from letting the twins out and the boyfriend almost ALMOST let her do it but stopped her last second.

I fapped to the memory of her tits almost spilling out of her bra though.

>At one point a guy asks what his falcon's name is
>Cold eyes, he says "Falconeers don't give them names, you should know that."
>Awkward silence

>Also he sudoku'd a little while after.
Should've given him the D, then. You did done screwed up user.

The more I think about it, I think for a lot of my AdEva sessions people must have assumed I was on something. Like, the incidents that particularly spring to mind are the one where I showed up dressed up from head to toe AS the angel and put on a voice. And the other time, that the entire battlemat of the geofront was made out of food I cooked and candy and anything eaten (including player's models) was proportionately destroyed.

Hey, I remember when you last told this story a few months back.
I made you this.

You sound like an awesome gm.

i dont mind. half of my enjoyment in tg shit is the crazy drama that guys bring. i mean thats not even close to an exhaustive list of the freakiest shit ive gotten into thanks to tg.

my last irl group i joined (not created) was run by a college classmate and his wife (they were 40-ish). he was actually a pretty cool guy and a great gm. except I was the only player in the group without a history of taking it in the ass, and im fairly certain they were all fucking eachother on the side. which is a little more disturbing when you realize the only chick was the gms wife and two of the players were flaming sterotypes of gays.

also there was the whole thing of the gm technically not being married and the chicks exhusband living with them for two weeks (he played with us as well, was a palidin and had a shit ton of 40k stuff he brought with him).

You stay classy, user

I think I love you, whoever you are

Nice to see a group that has the balls to throw that guy out for a change instead of keeping him around like alot of gm's do. Fucking /pol/ack be invading ttrpg's.

This is the greatest thing since the bike horn cover album.

Storytime or calling bullshit

I guess

>Be me in high school junior year I think
>Me and my friends hear about dnd from a friend's older brother
>we learn about 3.5 and make characters for a game the older brother was looking players for
>seemed liked fun to all of us
>me and a friend start talking about it during lunch
>this was possibly the most massive mistake we have ever made in our lives
>he hears us talking about it
>he than wants to be part of the game

to give you an idea of who this kid was, just imagine a spoiled autist mixed with the most tryhard edgelord. He would always try to prove how "cool" he was by telling people bogus stories and would usually just steal another one of my friend's jokes to make people think he's funny. I could just go on about how much of a faggot this kid was, but i'll just continue with the story

>Much to my dismay, the older brother lets him in
>he immediately wants to make a dragon as his character
>DM shoots this down immediately
>He begins to whine about how "unfair" that is
>He eventually makes a character with a "TRAGIC" backstory that is essentially the same as another players
>His character's parents died in a fire when bandits attacked his village when he was young
>other player's character's parents died from a bandit attack
>His character then develops a hatred for evil and becomes a fighter for justice, but is also EVIL somehow
>Later in the game he pulls shit out of his backstory which we all knew he just made up on the spot
>He found some enchanted armor right after his parents died that essentially makes him untouchable due to "EVIL MAGIC"
>He also found a vorpral blade at some point in his backstory and a cloak that lets him teleport an unlimited amount of times per day at a distance of 100 miles
>DM allows ALL OF THIS at the cost the cloak says "MAN MEAT" on the back and is pink
>He accepts this condition, thinking it's the most hilarious thing on this earth

At this point he thinks he's untouchable

The more time goes by, the more rose tinted my player's memories of these campaigns get, and the more I become horrified with myself for the batshit things I did. It's Watamote level cringe.

Like, the first one, I finished with an AV presentation backed by my own cover of Komm Süsser Tod. With me singing as female. I am male.

So...when does he pull a knife?

>during the duration of the game, he becomes that guy
>he always interrupts the other player's turns
>always shouts at the top of his autistic lungs at one in the morning over something that has happened in game, this would usually wake up everyone in the house and almost cost us the only place we could have DnD sessions.
>He would consistently try to bribe the DM into letting him get away with doing stupid shit and/or let stupid shit happen to other players. I remember at one point he tried to bribe the DM into making my character shit his pants because "he thought it would be funny". (although I should really blame the DM for letting himself get bribed by the players)
>He would never pay for the food and would eat about half of what we ordered
>eventually, all of the players, including myself, started to get sick of this guy's shit
>but the problem is I'm the only one who wants to kick him out of the group
>the other players "feel bad for him" because doesn't have any friends. So thats why they let him hang around them, even though they hate his guts as much as I do.
>We come to the conclusion that we should "make himself want to leave", even though I think it would be easier to just tell him to leave
>We all decide that if his character dies, then he wont want to play anymore.
>I start to hatch an idea on killing his character
>the plan went something like this, I think. We just got acquired an airship in the game, I would lure his character into the cargo to "investigate" the loot. During this, the rouge of the group would steal his cloak so he couldn't teleport away from combat or "teleport behind me". After this, I would cast a paralysis spell on him, which would render his armor useless ( I can't remember if this was a homebrew rule, or a rule from 3.5, its been too long for me.)
>Since he would be rendered useless I could do a coup de grâce on him and kill him instantly.

...

Ye..yes...go on...

>DM allows utterly retarded mary-sue god bullshit

You deserved everything you got.

>Because DM did something, you, not DM, deserve bad shit

fucking die

>everything goes according to plan
>me and other players begin to shit bricks internally from how amazing everything falling into place was
>I cast a spell to give me a bonus to hit, just in case i roll low
>I was able to roll high enough to hit him and kill him
>He immediately goes fucking berserk
>He nearly flips the table in a fit of autistic rage and then pulls out one of the many knives he keeps on himself
>He begins to scream at the top of his lungs at three in the morning about "how hard his life is"
>Begins to spout out some bullshit about the "things he has seen that can mess someone up for life", even though he never leaves his house except for school
>The most "traumatic" thing he has actually ever seen in his life was his 360 getting a red ring of death
>He then goes on saying that "he has seen his little sister get raped in front of him". Which is untrue, because he's the kind of person who would brag about it the day after it happen so he can get attention from people. Not to mention his sister showed no signs of trauma from this and would talk with my other friends whenever they went to his house.
>This went on until the DM defused the situation by saying his character was brought back to life somehow

The DM was in on the plan originally, but I guess he was worried about the knife situation. I don't really know

>The autist is still upset about the whole thing and wont stop yelling at the top of his lungs
>DM says that the rouge becomes cursed and the Paladin become fallen (even though he had nothing to do with the plan), just to calm him down.
>I get away with it unpunished somehow

we ended the game there, but he soon got kicked out from the group because everyone stopped feeling bad for the him after that incident.

Haven't spoken to that faggot since

And I thought my tumblrina player was bad.

although he knew the rules to 3.5, he never was a DM before, so this was a learning experience for him. He has become a much more better DM since and completely cut out marysue shit.

also this

Tell us about the tumblr.

mmm

thank you

Honestly nothing compared to that
>start planning a D&D game
>talking about it amongst friends
>qt Asian chick says that it sounds cool and wants to join
>I thought having another player would be good
>I was wrong
>first session she shows up
>rolls up a flamboyant elf lesbian rogue
>whatever.png
>I had to deal with the pregnant man elf so it seemed workable to me
>finishes up her character
>about to start
>she decides to comment on some of my comics I had laying around
>"Thanks I'm huge DC nerd but I kinda wanna start the sess-"
>starts asking me a thousand questions about Harley Quinn
>this derails to a topic about sexuality
>entire group joins in
>it was a solid 2-3 hours before we actually start
>didnt get much done but whatever
>next session
>pretty much same drill
>talks about tumblr gender/sexuality for a hour or two
>start session
>she'll spend most of her time on her phone
>the one of the last sessions that I ran with her made me terriffied of her
>so party's going through a dungeon
>that guy is a warlock and finds an idol that's rigged as a trap
>decides he'll have some fun
>manipulates tumblrina girl and another player to mess with it
>I tell them to make dex saves
>player makes it
>tumblrina fails
>I roll for damage
>"Ouch that's 25 damage."
>she's at 0 hp
>everyone was joking for about twenty seconds
>next thing I know she grabs a handful of mechanical pencils and pens to try to stab that guy
>one of the players grabs her before she can really do anything
>that guy had a smug look and gestured her to come at him
>tumblrina clawed and stabbed the player holding her
>that guy eventually says he was planning on healing her and the fact that she can roll to stabilize
>she calms down and pretends like nothing happened
>mfw

autists with knives is a terrifying concept. glad you made it out, brother. I hope your gaming days are smoother now.

it's also spelled rogue[/spoiled]

Nah mate he meant what he typed. All the rouge as cursed. That guy clearly hated make up.

If this happened, everything short of the knife is the GM’s fault, not the socially retarded halfwit.
I get that the GM was new, doesn’t change that it’s his fault for enabling the situation.

>We come to the conclusion that we should "make himself want to leave", even though I think it would be easier to just tell him to leave
So your group thinks that being mean isn’t mean if it’s passive-aggressive?
You had the right idea. If you’re going to kick a guy without discussing the problem like adults, at least do it simply and directly and get it over with.
>We all decide that if his character dies, then he wont want to play anymore.
So while pretending that being mean isn’t mean if it’s done in a cowardly passive way and pretending that that you can predict and control the response of someone none of you are capable of directly communicating with, you conclude that a socially retarded fellow’s response to being ganged up on and having his character summarily killed would be to quietly pack up and leave forever?
Brilliant.
I can’t imagine how it went wrong.


Also,
>the other players "feel bad for him" because doesn't have any friends. So thats why they let him hang around them, even though they hate his guts as much as I do.
If a player has been made aware of areas he needs to improve on and is actively working to be better, then there is no reason to hate him.
If the player had been made aware and doesn’t care, then there is no reason to feel bad for him.
If the player is not aware because the others are too cowardly to directly communicate anything to him, assume he should “know”, and instead choose to be gutless jerks, then no, they are the demons.

Again, I get it if you were all new, doesn’t change the fact that you were jerks.

>the pregnant man elf
What.

Wow. Also, did she attend any other games after this?

Long story short., I was desperate for players. Girl I had a crush on the time wanted to play and she handed me her backstory which involved her character was raped and impregnated despite being a man. The child died so I more or less just decided to ignore the entirety of that backstory.
I think she showed up to a couple more after that. She was real flakey. I'd always ask the group what day/time would be good for them and she would say she's always free. She only showed up every other session because she had to stream her LoL game or something. That's if she responded to the group text

>So your group thinks that being mean isn’t mean if it’s passive-aggressive?

I have no clue as to why they thought that was a better option than just flat out kicking him out. But it was the only thing they agreed to do in terms of him leaving.

>If you’re going to kick a guy without discussing the problem like adults

we told him the things that he was doing (not pitching in for food, being loud and disruptive, etc) and asked him to stop. He wouldn't, even after we kept asking him to.

>If the player is not aware because the others are too cowardly to directly communicate anything to him, assume he should “know”, and instead choose to be gutless jerks, then no, they are the demons.

again, we told him about the problems he was giving us, he did nothing to fix it.
also >demons

>If the player had been made aware and doesn’t care, then there is no reason to feel bad for him.

again, I have no clue why the other players felt bad for him.

>So while pretending that being mean isn’t mean if it’s done in a cowardly passive way and pretending that that you can predict and control the response of someone none of you are capable of directly communicating with, you conclude that a socially retarded fellow’s response to being ganged up on and having his character summarily killed would be to quietly pack up and leave forever?

oh no, we knew he would flip shit, but we didn't know it would escalate to what it became.


and If your implying that I hate this guy just because he was socially inept, that would be incorrect. There were many reasons why I hated this guy and his social retardation wasn't one of them. I mean for fuck's sake, we were all socially retarded back then.

Unfortunately I doubt that would have helped, probably would have made things worse actually. he was a paranoid schizophrenic who didnt like taking meds because they made him depressed. so either he would have thought me wanting to bang was a trick or a lie depending upon what pills were in his system that day. He was a good friend, and I do miss him, but things happen I guess.

>stabs another player
>you don't kick her out.

The player she stabbed insisted that I should invite her even after the fact.

Why in the fuck would anyone say that?

He really wanted Asian pussy.

I can relate.

we had someone rage quit and literally walk out on a homebrew game because the GM tried to confront him on why he was being a dick

>Bring together some friends and acquaintances for a homebrew
>Centuries post-apocalypse, neolithic era with remnants of the old world
>One player is a friend's boyfriend, very shy neckbeard, seems like an ok guy (called Barry)
>Another is a friend I met on Veeky Forums, big guy, very polite and subdued, but easily excitable (called Jack)
>They're at odds most times, as Barry is being kind of brutal while Jack is trying to be honourable
>Party is faced with archers at range, one of the most deadly things to come up against
>Jack's artifact is a shard of futuristic plexiglass he uses as a shield
>They agree that he should run interference
>He takes the overwatch and lets the others get within range of their slings
>2 archers left
>Jack fumbles
>Gets hit by both
>He's down
>The group kill the archers and go to stabilize Jack
>Barry tells them to stop
>Tries to convince the group that saving him could mean using too much of the medical supply to save one of us from a minor wound next time
>Takes the shield from Jack
>Everyone is willing to use the meds
>I've lost control as everyone is shouting
>Barry just announces he's rolling to coup de grâce
>I try to get the group to sit down
>Everyone fumbles their rolls
>Barry slits the throat and loots him
>Jack just sits there shaking his head
>Barry walks over to Jack and sits on the table in front of him
"Sorry man, had to do it for the good of the group...but I guess since we're on an adventure you can't make a new character and join in. That sucks"
>Big grin on his face
>Jack just closes his eyes and puts his hands on the table
>Barry puts a hand out to shake
"It's not personal, dude. Don't get so upset over a game"
>Jack asks to speak to him in private
>They go into the loungeroom and talk while we gather ourselves
>Barry is shouting "Maybe if you weren't so fucking TERRIBLE AT THE GAME, we'd want you to play"
>He stands up over Jack
>Jack stays seated but is just a bit less than a foot taller than Barry
cont.

I once had a gun pulled on me because I suggested we play Rifts. He thought it was funny to show me that he'd taken the safety off and point it at me. He was not allowed back after that game session.

>tfw I ran Rifts a few weeks later

>Barry pokes him in the chest
"Just go, dude. No one wants you here anymore. Shouldn't have been such a pussy about this"
>I interject
>Whole group turns on him
>He slaps Jack across the top of the head
>Jack grips his wrist and stands up
>Barry tries to pull away and goes straight for a knee to the crotch while giving him a smile
>Jack catches it on his thigh and practically throws him into the book case with one hand
>Barry fishes around in his pocket
>Jack grabs his wrist and starts squeezing
>Yelps and tries another knee to the crotch
>Jack just pushes him to the floor, kicks him in the stomach and flips him over
>Pins his arm to his back and kneels on him
>Barry starts moaning and screaming about his spine hurting
>Jack lets up
>He punches Jack right in the balls
>Jack just loses it
>Hook across the face, blood everywhere
>Barry fumbles for his pocket again
>Jack grabs his hand and rips it out of his pocket, ripping the fabric and spilling out his wallet and a knife
>Just starts laying into Barry
>Grabs his head and everyone can see he wants to start slamming it into the floor
>We all calm him down
>Barry is bleeding everywhere
>Starts screaming about a heart condition and suing us all
>Stumbles towards the door
>I open it for him
>He grabs me by the throat and puts his other finger up to my eye in a gouging motion
>Jack grabs him by the hair
>Physically lifts him up and throws him down the front steps
>We go inside and Barry just sits on the grass moaning until a sedan with an older woman driving pulls up and he leaves

Not heard from him since, but had plenty of texts him my friend, accusing me of trying to sleep with him and having a group of people beat him when he rejected me.

>Not even the threat of murder with a loaded gun keeps you from playing Rifts
You're my kind of scum.

Honest question. Is it that bad? Why it's bashed so much here?

It's not great, but there are plenty of popular bad systems. I think it's just the tone, themes and setting that turn people away.

Did Jack do anything to upset Barry? Or is just a psychopath?

The best part? I had so much fucking fun running that game. It was at our yearly Hollow ween party, and there were 14 players and me as GM. Probably the best game I had ever been a part of, and from what everyone said, one of the most memorable.

For me, it's... I don't know. The layout, maybe? I tried making a character from the UE book, got up to choosing OCC, and then realised that, although the OCC concepts should be interesting to me, basically none of them were.

The rules are a hot mess, but the fluff is amazing. Everyone gets to be their own special little snowflake, with their own thing, but aren't the best at everything.

I do agree on that, though. It's amazing how it can be unique and bland at the same time. Personally, my favorite OCC was the Techno-Wizard (Or the EXP sponge), simply... because.

A+, 10/10, would def play in your campaigns

No one is sure. We think it's because Jack was mean to Barry for about 6 months when they were 10.

youtu.be/Lp6-ymtZgrs

How about some bike horn Dragonforce, Evanescense, or Smashmouth?
soundcloud.com/aberrantkenosis/through-the-honking-and-the-horns
aberrantkenosis.bandcamp.com/

That SoundCloud link really fucked up.
soundcloud.com/aberrantkenosis/through-the-honking-and-the-horns

youtu.be/c3vONDqvayo

soundcloud.com/aberrantkenosis/smashed
soundcloud.com/aberrantkenosis/space-oddity-bike-horn-cover

I had two guys competing for the affections of an NPC. The irony was that it was the guy who had higher Charisma/social stats who was less charming as a person, and slightly socially awkward.

The other guy was more combat-focused, but he actually had more rapport with the heroine. The social thinker started dating the girl first (she was the daughter of a noble house) but she was also quite charmed by the other guy. Ultimately, she picked the second dude because I felt that their chemistry was more natural.

The first guy was pretty upset when he found out, and the second guy went sort of like "Look, this is just how played out." Then the first guy went "Why don't you fuck off, shitbag?" and the two of them almost came to blows over it.

Surprisingly, neither blamed me. I think I should've said something like "Guys, she isn't even REAL". I later found out that the first guy had a bad breakup, which was why he was so invested in the romance.

Holy fuck.

Want to post one of those texts? I'm not really inclined to believe this happened otherwise.

Totally true/10

Fuck me, Barry sounds like your friendly neighbourhood school shooter

Its your decision to play with this fucking retard DM, so kill yourself.

But how is that GM supposed to become better if all the players are dead?

Exactly

So can go suck on a 12 gauge

user, they were completely justified making an autistic shit like that suffer. Hell had I been the GM I would have done it myself.

You gave him a chance, you dropped him like a rock when he blew it. Good on you, m8.

-10 horse points for misspelling "throw'' though.

>I guess he was worried about the knife situation. I don't really know
user.

Has it crossed your mind that you let him hang out with you because you're also autistic?

>I don't know if he was worried about the raving lunatic wielding a knife and yelling insane shit at the top of his lungs

That's one of the signs.

I believe it. Nobody who was trying to impress us would talk about how he still faps to breasts that he never even saw.

I think you captured the true spirit of Eva, user.

Only someone tumbling down that far can get emulate Anno's own breakdown and then rebuild themselves.

Seriously jealous of your players.

He was a real man, and getting stabbed with some pencils wasn't no thang.

If I were in his place, I'd be pretty confident that it was only the asshole who stopped her that kept me from getting some hatesex on the game table that day.

...

Actually would you mind story timing?

I have never been in a successful AdEva game and would love to hear how yours went with full irl episode 25 & 26 shenanigans incorporated.

You're that guy aren't you. The one at the FLGS with all the stories because you've been around this hobby for years. You keep a mental checklist of all the things people have done to get banned from there, so you can warn people you like.

Then your wife's son licked her tig old bittays

If you are over the age of 13, you should already be much better than that.

Should have let him at least knock that guy the fuck out for trying to pull a knife.

>getting attempted murder charges added to your assault and battery charges
You can't even use self defense as an excuse as there was a few of them and at least one of you was good enough in a fight for the idiot to not be an actual threaten to anyone, even had the know how to not only take on a knife wielding maniac but stop him from blinding another.

>hapless MC gming for a group of ghosts
I want it

So a thirsty virgin hoping for sex.