You're finally old enough to join a guild and, per the new regulations put forward by Teysa Karlov...

Join Simic, date Izzet. Do all kinds of sexy mad science together.

Join Dimir. Since the Dimir do not exist, I am technically guildless and therefore not governed by your stupid rules. Date Dimir.

Now kiss!

Join Simic, date a Tsundere Rakdos girl. She thinks she can bully and embarrass the scrawny nerd, but wait till he's an eight foot tall mutant with more creativity and tentacles than any Rakdos goon.

>Join Dimir
>Pretend to be Orzhov
>Date Azorius to get intel on police operations and stay ahead of the law
>Turns out she's Dimir too and was just pretending to be Azorius
Well. This is awkward.

Yes you do exist, we've known all about you ever since your fat vampire sempai fucked things up.

Now go and make a decent woman out of my golgari sister.

>per the new regulations put forward by Teysa Karlov, it's now mandatory to date outside your guild.

>Golgari
>Decent
That's like a chaste Rakdos or a Gruul that bathes. Or, for that matter, a Golgari that bathes.

I can't, your sister was actually Dimir the whole time

>Turns out half of Azorius are just Dimir-members who either went too deep or are trying to infiltrate what they think is another Guild

>tfw Ravnica is Alpha Complex
>tfw Dimir are the Wobblies

So I can date my sister now?

No, you don't actually exist. Your a n illusionary reconnaissance construct with delusions of individuality.

by doing her?
as long as you don't mind being patched up with various crustamphish reptinsect parts

join azorius date selysnia, or the other way around

>new regulations put forward by Teysa Karlov
teysa's got a boyfriend
teysa's got a boyfriend
teysa's got a boyfriend
teysa's got a boyfriend

Join Azorius, date Rakdos.

Our respective guilds are aware, but can't do anything about it.

Gruul wouldn't bow to such a scrawny pawn
GRUUL GETS GRUUL!

You convinced me, I'll date Gruul instead.

...

Join Orzhov, date Golgari. I consider my personality fairly WBG so why not join the colors? And Selesnya just isn't for me.

Rakdos during the college years, then find a hunky Boros to turn me into a housewife.
I'll be just like Esmeralda

>DUDE THE ENTIRE CHEM LAB LMAO
kek

Izzet, all day, every day (valid only for days we've managed to keep track of)

Join Selesnya, then date primitive Gruul tribals and convert them to the True Green Way. The poor souls, so close, yet so misguided.

The best Disney princess.

>The best Disney princess.
>not qt Kida

whose to say that you aren't the misguided?

in answer to op, id pick being gruul since i pretty much live like one anyways, id probably date an izzet or arozius so she can actually make us some money while i provide what i can from going full on lumberjack/nature man

I think my personality is fairly mono blue. I'm really not Azorius material and I'm definitely not Dimir. I always preferred bio to physics so I guess I'm Simic.

For dating I'd go with Orzhov so my parents will finally stop pestering me about finding a nice Jewish girl to give them grandkids.

Join rakdos, date a gruul qt and turn her into my hedonistic pigslut.

The fuck kind of weak sauce hivedrone are you?

The dream

If I'm feeling really gross I'd join Simic and date Golgari.

kek

Golgari for life. Glorious perfection and lots of depraved elf sex.

I'd corrupt a Selesnya brat or go Simic for more glorious evolution.

Orzhov
+sweet health care
+lodes e mone
+can date QT angel girls from boros

-Not actually sweet health care
-probably have to give all of my money up anyways

Joint Izzet, date Izzet
I don't even bend to the law of physics, do you expect me to follow mortal regulations ?

Join Simic, date Guildless.
Technically outside the Guild.

Be a Boros Bladesmith, date cute and crazy Izzet girl.

>Now kiss!
Weird Mutants when?

Go Boros, team up with an Azorius girl, go on grand detective adventures where I play the loose cannon and she's the cop who plays by the books.

I'd be Azorius and date Gruul

Join Simic, date Boros, encourage my sexy soldier bf to let me give him some enhancements and "enhancements" ;3

Orzhov don't pass regulation and a Karlov wouldn't want to dilute their bloodline.

Anyway. Be Dimir, swear blind I'm Izzet, date Simic. Stuff to talk about, potentially useful mate, no direct betrayal

Your boss would give you shit for it

>tfw

Join Boros, make a difference in the world for goodness and righteousness, while still getting to occasionally knee an evildoer in the balls.

Date either Izzet or Simic, those seem the most likely places to simultaneously get the best parts of a long-term relationship and a new date every so often.

Be seylesnia, date azorius

Would have to be azorius and date a selysnia.

>tfw qt Angel waifu
>tfw SCIENCE

Join Rakdos and die before I can even find anyone.

Join Rakdos, date Orhzov.
I can't be arrested, I'm dating a high powered lawyer. Made of money.

Smooch alert!

Until you start reflecting bad on her and at that point she takes it upon herself to punish you.
i.e. she turns you into a thrull manservant/boytoy

Join orzhov, date selesnya. A lot in common but also a lot of differences.

Like she doesn't join me in the revel as stress relief after a long day in the Advokist's office.

Orzhov are the best clubbers

Join Golgari, date Gruul.

DIS NIGGA KNOWS.

I choose best group

Now I want to be a Rakdos Douchebag or die trying

This is a magical setting, you dont need to stay virgin for that and become a wizard much faster dah

Be orzhov for pic related. Date simic or izzet for qt science gf.

>DIS NIGGA KNOWS.
Truly, racially ambiguous precursor peoples with white hair are the best.

Quite literally.

As if an angel would ever even give the time of day to a NERD.
Best you can hope for is one our guildmages.

Dimir, date Rakdos

NEED ME A FREAK LIKE THAT

Why would a rich dude want a nerd chick?

Golgari here, I'd date Azorius because I think their view is interesting, plus she earns a salary while all I do is scavenge zombies to work for me.

Because they can genetically engineer money trees.

Get a nice simple Azorius desk job and date a qt Selesnian.
I think that'd be pretty cush.

Join Izzet, date Rakdos.

... Oh wait, that's my actual dating life.

Join Izzet, date that Simic chick and have high caste, perfect genes children just like my Orzhov dad wanted me to.

And have a Dimir mistress on the side.

Join Izzet
Date Dimir
secure waifu's assistance in academic politics

After the Guildpact fell, but before Jace became the Living Guildpact, there was a non-magical Guildpact that was drafted up by Teysa Karlov.

>Dimir mistress
It's like you want your sextape to be leaked

I approve that line of thought

Tough I'd probably join Simic so I could enhance myself as well, like being able to get rid of my curly hair and invent a long hair that won't be such a hassle to take care of, as for "enhancements", I'd love to fix my poor rates at the breast department
Who would be my date is a tough choice. I like my partners to be kinda intelligent, so let's say a misterious Dimir girl or a crazy fun Izzet guy

Join Gruul, destroy Simic hole-that's-probably-some-sort-of-vagina-I-think.

I think the punchline is supposed to be I won't even know she's Dimir until I'm in trouble.

Or I could do what I do in real life and pop by Shadow Alley every now and then. I know my Passages, and got me Cyclops. I'm all set.

Join Orzhov; date Selsnya.
Assuming that they still only get mild brainwashing, I figure I could substitute Selesnya's blind devotion to the conclave with a blind devotion to me. Selesnya girls seem super naive too.

>since i pretty much live like one anyways
Then how computer

Join Golgari, date Selesnya. We get an interesting contrast of corruption vs. purity, and I get to be an immortal undead girl with a girlfriend who'll love me unconditionally anyway. Which I will return.

I would be part of simic and date a tsundre half-demon rakdos girl.

My first thought is a lot of +1/+1 counters and reach. if you know what i mean

Female lawyers are cunts, less like waifus and more along the lines of this one bitch from Daredevil

Join Rakdos, take heroic amounts of stimulants in order to maintain my focus long enough to fill out the paperwork necessary to date an Azorius girl.

She's actually pretty cool, way above Foggy's league

Join Izzet, date Gruul.

Is there any way whatsoever a qt3.14 Gruul badass Giirl would want to date an Izzet nerd if he was at least a bit mad as far as scientists go?

I'd join Azorius and attempt to date Boros, Izzet or Orzhov.
Watch out, if you keep going on about it he could probably beat you up
OTP

I'm closest to Izzet and am dating IRL someone who colour identifies as Golgari. Gotta say, pretty great.

These guys get it. Join Rakdos, date Orzhov.
Your waifu can't take all your money if you're a penniless juggalo, and she certainly can't have hired goons break your knees if you replace them with knives.

I'd pick at random, because I know nothing of these symbols except the basic five elements of Magic.

I'd definitely go sonic and date Rakdos.

So once I go too far with my 'enhancements' they'll still be willin to try them out. Plus they might even bring friends and we can have a mad fun splicing party.

Join Gruul, date Boros.

Either I become the noble barbarian who kicks ass at fighting and becomes civilized, OR, she joins me out in the wild and we go and do crazy shit together