Character with a wisdom score of 18

So basically a condescending pretentious shitlord, got it.

No, that's 8 wis at best right there. It's just the classic "First few posts of a thread need to be the contrarians who think that anyone doesn't expect their contrary replies."

>it's literally just an old dude who has seen some shit

Just think like an old dude who has seen some shit.

>has never had a life lesson taught to him by someone just staring at him

Did you even have a father?

Say things about how your reaction to people effects how they act toward you.

e.g. how you would leave people alone if they weren't so fun to annoy.

"It's a hell of a thing, killin' a man. Take away all he's got, and all he's ever gonna have."

you're on the right track already, just quote buddha, confuscious and gandalf and people will be impressed.

Ah, but the wiseman knos nothing but always seeks knowledge.

All things are impermanent and prone to circumstance because they exist, including speech, time, and circumstance. Therefore, the only thing permanent is what doesn't exist.

Watch a lot of King of the Hill and notice how Hank is usually trying to help people when he's not written as the conservative strawman.

Just spout some gems from this or that old philosopher. The Book of Proverbs can also be useful.

"Fire is the test of gold; adversity, of strong men." is a good one, courtesy of Seneca.

If you want to be edgier, Nietzsche is a safe bet.

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youtube.com/watch?v=PKGX9tdPeN0

You da real MVP Shas.

Quiet time now Jaden.

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Alternatively go with the ol' "God is dead" and get purged by the cleric and paladin.

"Forgiveness is divine, but never pay full price for late pizza."

inspirobot.me/
>Make other people think that sometimes your normal

Not exactly up the right alley but it works
You can thank me later

Talk about the long game, about not being ruled by emotions and impulses.

>prepare for failure, drive and play dead

wot........?

You fail, you put a brick on the gas and fake your death. What's not to get?

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you sir are an idiot.

He who drop watch in toilet, have shitty time.

Woman who sink into man's arms, soon have arms in man's sink.

some of these are pretty good

The ox is slow, but the earth is patient.

My parents love that one. They revel in its meaninglessness.

You can also tell people that they don't know whether to shit or spit nickles, if the need ever arises.

Oooh! Also: You only think you're having fun.

"The hardest part about getting to the top of the ladder is getting through the crowd at the bottom."

Wherever you go, there you are

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It ain't over till it's over.

When you come to a fork in the road, take it.

You can observe a lot by just watching.

It's like déjà vu all over again.

No one goes there nowadays, it’s too crowded.

Always go to other people's funerals, otherwise they won't come to yours.

Fighting is ninety percent mental and the other half is physical.

The future ain't what it used to be.

A nickel ain't worth a dime anymore.

We made too many wrong mistakes.

>I just need to say smarty things, who cares about the decisions I make?

The book of Proverbs had a lot of goodies.

just quote that native guy from mystery men

youtube.com/watch?v=GuUopTPgjOI

Basically the Sphinx from The Mystery Men. Look him up, his literal gimmick is annoying people with wise sayings. And also the power to cut guns in half with his bare hands and be super mysterious.

>"If you're at the point where you need my help, it's already too late."

But user, my character has a WIS score of 22.

There are three things in life, boy, and they're both important, so listen up!

First off is war, this is both a terrible and great thing at the same time, you see. It's terrible, as in war a man may bury his own son before his time, yet great, as the son may bring glory to not just his home and lands, but the man as well, and may yet become a man himself.

Secondly, is happiness, as this is greatly important to all good prople of the world, is it not? For to be happy is to live, and enjoy life, as I myself do.

Thirdly, and this is perhaps the most important of the three, is alcohol! Now, I say this is the most important, as it ties the first and second together!

A good brew can make a man happy, but a bad one can leave a man unhappy, an unhappy man can start a fight, a fight leads to a brawl, a brawl gets out of hand, and so forth, or perhaps a drunken noble, in his stupor takes another's daughter, or picks a fight he shouldn't, causing a war later on, yet, when the war is ended, the people are happy, and the brew flows once more, amd the cycle continues.

And that, my boy, is why those are the three most important things in the world. And so the teachings of Hanseath are spread!

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For Good: "Good and evil cannot exist in equal measure. If you truly wish to destroy evil, create more of that which is good."

For Neutral: "One who allows his emotions to sway him is like a ship without a rudder."

For Evil: "Forgiveness is the highest form of idiocy. It is akin to one who has been stabbed in the back taking out the blade, cleaning it, and handing it back to his would-be assassin."

Terribly mysterious.

If your gaming party is having Chinese food that session, order as many fortune cookies as you can. Then eat the cookies and read the fortunes as needed.

This thing is a goldmine.

charliechanfamily.tripod.com/id6.html
Old chinese detective saying things that are smart

This is getting too real for me.

And sometimes you get comedy gold.

And other times, you'll get existential dread.

Jesus fucking Christ, this website.

My favorites:
>Violence begets violence
Then punch the guy.

>Let him who is without sin, cast the first stone.
Then kick him in the nuts.

>Do unto others.
Toss him off a cliff, or out a window.

>press generate
>suddenly progress bar flashes
>WHAT IS HAPPENING TO ME
>WHERE AM I
>WHAT AM I
>HOW DO I GET OUT OF HERE
>"Inspirocorp (tm)"
>background changes to an ocean
SPOOPED

That's dumb. Might as well just run around making stupid puns while murdering with wanton abandon.

>pushes a grandfather clock onto someone, crushing them
>"Looks like you're... out of time"
>garrotes someone with a pocket watch chain
>"Watch out"

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Seems legit.

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high Wisdom Barbarian is the best.

That's the opposite of wisdom

>the local strip club sees a massive spike in white girl applications

Go home Yogi, you're drunk.

One line introduction, then silent thereafter.

SLANNESH HAS SPOKEN

>inspirobot.me/

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Or just keep forcing one pun into every situation.
>pushes a grandfather clock onto someone, crushing them
>"Looks like you're... out of time"
>garrotes someone with a pocket watch chain
>"Looks like you're... out of time"
>impale someone on a sundial
>"Looks like you're... out of time"
>drown someone in a water clock
>"Looks like you're... out of time"
>magic someone into an alternate dimension without time
>"Looks like you're... out of time"
>Tell someone they're late
>"Looks like you're... out of time"

its endless....

Words to live by.

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KHORNE GRANTS US HIS WISDOM

I am so going to church this week

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Holy fuck, I think I nailed it.

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You have successfully hijacked this thread

For better or for worse, this is what we are now.

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Im uncertain if Hitler actually said this or not.

jesus christ.

>character with a wisdom score of 18
If he's a Druid, this is mandatory reading

Fuck

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This

think in terms of the opposite side of the spectrum from possession. A lot can be learned by allowing things to be as they are and coming to the realization that absolutely nothing belongs to us.

>and coming to the realization that absolutely nothing belongs to us.
Fuck off you communist bastard; I'll bring mother earth to her knees under my steel-toed boot.

FUCK MOUNTAINS