DMs: Is there a condition that you secretly look for without telling the player directly that helps you weed out bad...

Worst DM EU 2k16

I normally talk about the DM's game and possible character concepts during the first 20 minutes of meeting them because I'm here to play a game, friendships can come later.

Gotta find the Vorthos players. We're fine. (But then again, I suppose we don't go to tournaments, either, really).

Can't say I havwas gamed with randoms before, have you had good experiences?

I met my current group like, 2-3 years ago and we're still playing together. I've had good experiences with gamefinder, but then the worst experiences I've had are GMs just bailing without saying anything. Never had to deal with a 'That Guy'

Not him, but I've DM'd for Adventurer's League for a long while. I have some stories I keep posting around here about the literal autists I would run into. It's no wonder TRPGs are dead in my area.

I've had good results by watching out for these things and getting rid of players who fall into these patterns.
>overtly political; likely to insert their politics into the game or make a big deal out of politics they disagree with
>doesn't try to hide their power level; openly wears video game or cartoon-related clothes or accessories
>basic hygiene
>if they go into excessive detail about their "build" before the game even starts, without any consideration for how and why the character came into their profession and learned their skills
>TVTropes lingo
>excessively negative reactions to bad rolls (see also: "Take 10 damage." "MIGHT AS WELL GIVE UP AND DIE, THIS FIGHT'S IMPOSSIBLE, HE DOES TOO MUCH DAMAGE")
>obsessed with sex

There's a promising-looking Veeky Forums homebrew Magic RPG on 1d4chan; you take a look at that? It looks like it might be fun, but it's not quite complete.

In my experience foreverDMs don't make the best players, I suffer from it too , we are all control freaks

If nothing else though, letting a foreverDM play for a bit is just good courtesy.

Yeah , we might be better players if we HAD MORE PRACTICE

It's true. I'm my group's ForeverDM and the last few times I got to play, all I could think the entire time was shit like
>I could be running this so much better than this motherfucker
>We meet in a tavern? Look at this amateur hour bullshit
>That's not how foreshadowing works you artless swine
>Nigger that's not how that spell works, did you even read the rulebook
>Creatures that intelligent would never charge blindly
>Why is this dumb thug fighting to the death after we killed his allies, he should be surrendering, this ain't a video game
>this encounter is so poorly-balanced, if you account for enemy group size it goes from a dangerous encounter to a lethal one, did he even consider that
And this was when a group member I actually like was DMing.

>weed users
people play this shit sober? what are you gonna say next, no alcohol or pizza? no girls?

wait does everyone in this thread actually play DnD with randoms? don't you all have friends?

>>excessively negative reactions to bad rolls (see also: "Take 10 damage." "MIGHT AS WELL GIVE UP AND DIE, THIS FIGHT'S IMPOSSIBLE, HE DOES TOO MUCH DAMAGE")
Holy shit, I had this player for awhile. Except he was even worse because he was legitimately a bad player. At everything.

>That Guy loves Dragons
>Makes a Dragonborn, not understanding how different they are
>They enter into a room
>That Guy rushes, alone, into the middle of a murder of villains
>"I breathe my breath weapon!"
>Rolls his dinky 2d6
>rolls a 4
>Almost all of them make their Dex save
>Did a whopping total of 6 damage
>At the end of his turn, before anyone even has time to do anything or react
>"Well fuck this, I might as well just rage quit cause I'm fucking dead. This is literally the worst, fuck this game, you're a shit DM, you said this was supposed to be heroic, I'm gonna lose my character..." etc, etc.
>It took his then-girlfriend 20 minutes to calm him the fuck down
>Entire mood is ruined, wind up stopping game hella early.

The shit in this thread is exactly why I don't play with randoms anymore, but sometimes friends invite their friends or tell other people who are interested, so it's still important to try and get an idea of whether or not someone is appropriate for your group.

I don't play D&D because I don't like the d20 system

>being a dm
>not setting the game up so your players can feel like gods
>actually playing by the book rules and watching people get stomped
shit dm desu

What's wrong with gamer shirts?

These are the people I weed out:
>anyone under 25
>"creative" types
>anyone without an interesting hobby
>girlfriend who wants to join to spend time with her BF
>weed smokers
>"gamers"

Preparing for mad.

There's no challenge if you're guaranteed to win.

user, that's VERY obviously bait. Don't actually bite it you dork.

Not mad, but why 25? I've always figured 22 was a better number since that's when they graduate college.

One experiment I've wanted to try is to just ask randoms who their favorite philosopher is. I'd imagine it would be extremely easy to find the "NOTHIN' PERSONNEL, KID" people, and the people that get overly upset about groups that have nothing to do with the campaign. The experiment could be a disaster though, I don't know, somebody should test it out.

It's a harsh life we live friend

yea...except DnD isn't a video game that you can casually pick up and drop, its months of commitment. My buddy likes to pull that shit on us and thinks its funny, sets us up to get molested by ridiculous fights, after every sessions half of us are almost dead and no one has fun during the session. its just a bad time in general.

its hard enough to get sessions going because of conflicting schedules, then you spend your day off getting 2 shot by orcs? no thanks.

At best, the normal people will think it's a weird question and probably just say the first thing that pops to mind, if they even KNOW a philosopher.

At worst, the like-minded people that you'd want for your game are going to take that question as a sign you're a fedora-tipper and run away.

I've found older players are better at staying on track, taking a serious game seriously, are more reliable, tend to be either married or in a long term relationship so don't have to deal with any of that bullshit by proxy, less prone to getting drunk off their asses, and generally all around more pleasant to be around. I know enough people that I can afford to be picky, so I am.

Don't take this the wrong way, but are you in your early 20s? If you are, consider that those of us in our 30s see you in about the same way that you see teenagers.

not gonna lie, you sound like you're about as much fun as gonorrhoea.

Getting stomped is part of the fun

No female players.

I forgot to mention that it doesn't matter what the philosopher is what matters is the response, but you're probable right. It would most likely be a disaster.

Initially nothing, but it can be an indicator of other personality problems, like basing one's entire identity around being a fan of something. I'm sure you can think of someone you know who is just a little too into a given hobby, cartoon, or video game, who tries to insert it into everything or compare everything to it. You know, the autistic superfan who won't shut the fuck up about it.

Yeah, but how would you demonstrably categorize the response? Which philosophers would be kosher, and which aren't? What are current fedoras into, and will it be obvious that they are tipping?

once or twice sure, control freak DM's get this boss complex where they have to make everything almost impossible to beat, like you're supposed to read their minds or something and do the 1 or 2 possible things that will achieve victory. another bullshit factor is sometimes the players just get shit rolls and the DM keeps rolling 18+. if your DM is a hardass it pretty much ruins the game. and frankly I blame that entirely on a lack of creativity, its really not hard to make the game enjoyable for your players.

I'm reasonably certain Nietzsche is still popular but few of his "fans" ever read him, with even fewer having read a good translation. Maybe familiarizing oneself with the work of some major ones and following "Who is your favorite philosopher" with "Why?" could help refine this process.

My issue isn't with people smoking weed or drinking (I drink while dming), my issue is with people drinking or smoking TOO much. If you get fucked up to the point you can't really pay attention to the game, you're not gonna be part of the game.

Nietzsche is my favorite philosopher, wanna fight about it?

I think the whole point is to see what the response is at all, more than likely to weed out anti-intellectuals or people who fear learning new things. That's just my guess.

I agree, I don't care what you're doing on your own time but don't come to my game stoned and no smoking in my house. You can drink, but don't get drunk and don't shit on my living room floor please.

thats a pretty reasonable request, sucks when people zone out and don't pay attention.

>no getting stoned at all
>drink but can't get drunk
you're next level dude, your house your rules I suppose.

You sound like a degenerate stoner senpai.

Right, but that process will probably do more harm then good.

This

Ah, yeah, I understand that. Most of my gaming shirts have symbols for things I happen to like.

> player is clearly interested in a certain kind of game and is eager to play a particular build
> fuck them

you sound like a holier than thou dickhead

>Unironically hating /pol/ and /int/.

I mean you had me listening until that point. What's there to hate about their "speech"?

he said tasteless meme use, this guy is clearly an sjw fag lord.

Is there even tasteful meme use?

You're not sounding any less like a degenerate stoner. Come back when you can follow what's going on and remember what happened more than 10 minutes ago instead of just sitting there like a lump.

Hear me, Veeky Forums.

I will take all shitty players, nomatter the red flags.
I will take on the burden of DMing them, and shaping them into amazingly fun players who everyone loves.

I will do what the rest of you can not.
I will make this world perfect.

At first I was going to be offended by that but sense entered play and I can see the reasoning behind it.
>I'm 25.

Godspeed thee, though doomed you be.

Not that user, but I've seen some players like this before. The concern that I always have, especially when the thing they're interested was just released like Darksouls 3, is that they'll soon get tired of it and lose interest.

>Implying having morals and a sense of tradition is worse than DUDE WEED LMAO.

Mcfucking kill yourself why don't you?

I can get stoned drunk and still pay attention, you're just gay irl.

>morals and a sense of tradition
LOL thats what you call being a self righteous cunt?

When I do GM I look for these qualities
>around the same age
>can actually ROLEplay and does not ROLLplay
>Lateral thinkers
>someone who will get along with the group (or at the very least will keep their OOC conflicts at the door and wont bring them out IC)

if you can't do that then i wont even send the invite.

Everyone deserves a first chance. I'm with you, fellow retard.

If it helps, I can attest that it can be done. My current group consists of:

>A socially awkward hipster.
>A chantard who is completely incapable of making anything but a socially inept titcow waifu.
>An arrogant blowhard.
and
>A guy who cannot help but switch characters constantly, all of them just a little ill-fitting.

And yet, they're a 10/10 gaming group.

Spelling, grammar and sentence structure.

I was going to argue, but then realized how many cunts my own age are insufferable to play with.
Fair enough.

You could make the greatest people in the world sound like terrible people if you summed them up in short greentexts that only focused on the worst aspects of their personalities.

There's few real telltale sign for a shitty player besides the blatant tells of a shitty person in general, that is without delving into idiotic personal biases that don't actually correlate with anything. I guess the only common theme I can really run across are veterans, because inevitably you're going to run into stubborn fuckers who think they know better than you; regardless of whether or not they do it's a shitty attitude to bring to the table.

>can actually ROLEplay and does not ROLLplay
Get out of here with that stormwind bullshit.

this, i like to have encounters that provide enough of a challenge to be fun, but not so hard that its a "crit success or die"

It has been my experience that rollplay is shorthand for a minmax autistic play style with ZERO character development.

>"How do I choose players?"
I dunno, by not being a dumb person and not bringing the issue to Veeky Forums?

OP, this has nothing to do with Veeky Forums.

"How do I choose people I invite to the pool party?", "How do I choose a girl I date with?" - literally the same questions with the same fucking context.
Why don't you ask them elsewhere?

I DUNNO, BY NOT BEING ASOCIAL PIECE OF SHIT, AND LOOKING PAST SUPERFICIAL FEATURES OF A PERSON?

I get it, you are looking for a rule of thumb to choose people you socialize with, but why the fuck does this belong on Veeky Forums?

It's one thing when you say "Game Designer X made a shitty decision designing his game, what a faggot!", and it's completely another thing when you say "Player X is being a piece of shit, what a faggot!".

Stop discussing people when we should be discussing games. This shit is what kills Veeky Forums, slowly, but surely. I despise gossip-mongers.

Unless you have an entertaining storytime to share (which describe in-character interactions, rather than out-of-character most of the time), you shouldn't be posting this shit.
THERE IS NOTHING ENTERTAINING ABOUT THIS SORT OF THREADS.

tl;dr YOUR GROUP IS YOUR OWN FUCKING BUSINESS. IF YOU WANT TO DISCUSS PEOPLE INSTEAD OF GAMES, DO IT SOMEWHERE ELSE.

I'm out of this thread.

Get the fuck out

>don't you all have friends?
No.

Only IRL Mary Sues graduate college at 22, and why would you hang out with them?

Good luck finding four people who can name even a single philosopher.

>Only IRL Mary Sues graduate college at 22
I've graduated uni at 20. Sue me.

>letting the government decide your morals for you

I think you'd be hard pressed to find anyone who can't name at least one.

>Wanting to smoke while in my home. If you must do it on the back porch, but I would prefer they do it on their own time and not game time (had a problem with a chain smoker slowing play before)
>Coming to play intoxicated in any manner that effects their play negatively (I don't care on what, but if it makes you unfun to play with then I do not want you.)
>Individuals overly obsessed with talking to me as the GM over others
>People who giggle to themselves at odd moments
>People who take too extreme of a position on any stance while at the table. I don't want to debate politics, religion, or other such topics in an angry way during play. Especially when someone can't separate in game and out of game.
>Inability to separate in game and out of game feelings.
>Believing failure in game means I'm out to get them.
>Some one upmanship is fine, but taking it to the point where one must ALWAYS be better hurts a game
>Asking to simply roll dice at things, or inability to speak in character (people who are too awkward to do so aren't the folks I want to play with or GM for)
>People who optimize outside the general level of the rest of the party/campaign
>People who can't handle character loss/negative occurrences during play
>Overly verbally abusive individuals. I've had people attempt to bully me as GM in order to get their way. They were a bunch of little shits.
>Overly meek individuals. This game is not a confidence building exercise, please do that on your own time.
>Devices are fine as long as you can also pay attention. If you prove otherwise then I don't want you using your device at the table.
>Overly apathetic individuals.

If you can not tell it is hard to find players.

I don't know how exactly to put it, but I can pick up the little things that make someone unfit for my games after a quick chat.

Some telltale signs I'm looking out for is how much in love with his character someone is, how in touch with reality they seem and notice their reaction to some of my GM horror stories.

Although I noticed that if you make a simple list of "what your character would do" situations, the bad apples always answer either extremely genericaly or with the most unfathomable bullshit ever.

>tfw graduating at 22.
I don't get it, college is not difficult. Only actual retards can't manage to graduate in four years. It's not as if I am in a fluff degree either, computer engineering is on the more rigorous side.

FUCK Steve.

>open rpol superhero highschool game
>check rules and homebrews
>"No matter how high you roll persuasion, the other player characters are not obliged to immediately bed you"
>couple posts further
>"Reminder that using mind powers on other students is considered uncool by the faculty"
>yet further down
>"Putting subtle on mind control won't necessarily stop them from noticing."
>close game

Noisy people WHO JUST WON'T FUCKING LISTEN. Others deserve at least a chance.

This. But actually being a foreverDM made me less annoying as a player. (I only ever get to play in one offs now)

For example, I know what bothers the fuck out of me as a DM, so I do my best to avoid doing all of those things if I ever get the chance to be a player.

>severe autism
look for someone who cannot seperate normal life logic from fantasy logic. Someone who is overly trusting.

My one player ruined two campaigns, im still friends with the guy but i probably wont dm for him anymore.

he coulnt even fathom that anyone in a position of law enforcement in my setting could be corrupt or a dick. So he was killed by a police officer after he said he was a muffin. This was after a suicide bombing took place outside a muffin shop.

Truth be told he DID just spawn from a muffin due to god fuckery but thats besides the point, you dont go around calling yourself a muffin after a suicide bomb attack.

The second one he couldnt fathom that poor agrarian farmers could distrust outsiders and have poor logical skills.
It was in 2e cyrodil, and for some reason one of those farmers was an orc, it was a farm north of bravil. He was considered the village idiot who provided entertainement but still part of the village, he had a role to play in the community per se.

He decided he wanted to plant horses to make little "horslets" and planted the parties three horses face down ass up.
The next day that player got mad and murdered the orc in broad daylight.

He couldnt get it through hsi head that the village didnt care if he was in the right, they didnt want him killing one of "them". So they told him to leave or die.

He started arguing and then the village surrounded him, he ended up killing the entire village's pull of adult males leaving their children and families without a way to feed and defend themselves.

Then a group travelling with the party who where self described as "politically profound" in that they would do whatever they could to further their career decided to capture the player and turn him into the duke of bravil, in order to raise an army to attack the duke of skingrad

Player autismed out and even after giving himself a chance to save himself said no "because im picking on him"

gauge autism op.

>all my players play magic the gathering
>90% of people in know who like games play magic the gathering
>I play magic the gathering
Well shit

And they are completely uninterested in anything about the actual game they are joining.
And trying to shoehorn mechanics from other game, without consideration for how things work in this game.
And what says.

I was kinda going to do that, but then I got four chill signups, one CN lolrandumb and one edgelord and decided fuck it, I'm not going to waste time.
(Note: both of them were offered soft advice on how to fix their characters. They declined. Then came the hard boot.)

What said.
You can minmax the statblock that is attached to your character but you need to (role)play the character, not (roll)play the statblock without the character.

>Christfaggotry
>Only have experience in DnD, only interested in playing DnD
>Cares about alignment, rigid morality
>Aggressively minmaxed, "Hmm, how I beat the shit out of people and bang hot chicks the best"
>Whines about XP
>Talks about shit his cbaracter will be able to, esp. combat related

This next one is about as big a red flag as you'll get

>Attempts to help "optimize" other PCs

>Forever DM
>None of my friends want to DM
>Try D&D Encounters
>Full of newbies and murderhobos asking about my alignment and starting fights without getting the objective
>Was fun, but not THAT fun

My DM is actually a pot smoker and he's run some of the best games I've ever played. He's also an author, though, so that might have something to do with ir.

>Their character sheet doesn't contain a character. It contains a build.
>They insist on playing an evil character who won't help the party, instead following them around killing things, even other party members if there's nothing else to kill
>They don't write a name for their character
>They don't let the DM check their character sheet because it's "seekrit"

I was forever DM for a while, so the last one really shits me.
Fucking these, too. Holy shit.

Those who make good friends are not necessarily those who make good GMs or players.

Period.