A stunningly beautiful vampire follows you and your party through the world, with the intent to make you hers

Fight her where I can.
I don't know why she's bothering though. I don't even have any blood any more. These old bones are too fucking tired.

Jokes on her, my character had his tongue cut out for lying so she'll never be able to hear me say "I love you."

I hope she likes hentai with a space pirate.

What about robot space pirates?

gonna need some details here
what would a relationship with here entail
continuing to possess free will, or just a mindless slave hypnotized by her?
either way, yes, because i'm incredibly lonely

Why would I do anything? Sounds pretty good. Of course I'm currently and incorporeal body-jumper, so the relationship could a little strained when I have to inhabit another body, but she's probably a free-living type vampire, so we just find me a nice rich dying guy or coma patient to leap into and live on the wealth for a while. Honestly, it'd be kind of nice to hang around with another immortal. Plus, free blood supply and can turn as many of my vessels as she wants.

Depending on how old she is, I could probably just fill my days asking her about history, the nature of vampirism and whatnot, then teach her how to keep up with the times.

That depends, can vampires be impregnated?

Laugh at her because someone being sexually interested in me is completely and totally impossible.

Yes, they make Damphirs.

No, but you could steal a newborn and unbirth them inside of your vampire bride.

>YOU DIDNT ENTER MY MAGICAL REALM REEEEEE!!!!

Imagine if a wizard trapped you in a giant sprawling mirror maze, but you have no reflection...

Fucking wizards! HONK HONK!

youtube.com/watch?v=8LQftYK2n8o

After all the shit we had to deal with from The Count Dracula, just to watch him get staked repeatedly and decapitated by a lady who is the time-traveling clone of a girl he brutally murdered a decade ago, we are already going to be on high alert.
We have a treaty of sorts with the Vampire council since Dracula's departure and we are going to have them reign in this stalker for us.
Should thus prove to be to difficult for them, we are not going to mess around. We'll actively track her down show her the security footage of how Dracula goes out screaming like a baby and make it known to her after the shit he put us through, we don't play nice with vamps anymore. She persists, and she be publicly delt with as we ruin the Vampire secret society to the world.

Female humans make Damphirs

Female Vampire make you into dinner after.

Become a werewolf and give her the knot until I make crazy vampire werewolf halfbreeds.

There OP. Did I jump deep enough into your magical realm?

Why would male vampires not eat human females after fucking if the female vamps eat the human males?

Are you implying they don't eat women?

You forgot your pic related

S T R A I G H T
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A
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So when you say make me hers do you mean turn me or something else? Because I'm 99% sure my character can't physically become a vampire due to his coming back to life when killed thing.

Wait is that an actual fetish? Fuck that is not something I wanted to know.

I think you mean to say, slake that bitch.

Let her give me the succ

>Every goddamn game has some blood-sucking monstrosity involved with the party, just stop it already.
This. I think my GM has the full set of Twilight books hidden away somewhere, there is always a damn vamp or hurrhurr !notVamp race showing up in our games. I hate the damn things, like full on unrepentant racist hate them.

>What do?
Sigh, and pull out whatever silver weapon (at least my GM is consistent about making them weak to silver) I had made this time and attack.

>Such parasitic scum must be exterminated
This user gets it.

I've seen this in a game before, and it was hilariously unfair. The girl was a Romanian noble, and she got the guy she was fixated on to become her bodyguard.

Rather, she got the whole party to be seconded to protect her, and she flirted shamelessly with that guy. There was one time she got him to rub a lotion that would protect her from the sun all over her naked body.

Later, her sister got involved, too. I was deeply amused because the player was a bit socially awkward, and both of these women were absolutely fucking with him and pushing his buttons.

Publicly declare my love and romantic intentions for every hard target I wish to see dead.
Leave the stupid wannabeGoTbutdontknowhow plots to her while I and my party bros continue monster hunting.

>her wife
God damn it, not this guy

>Later, her sister got involved, too. I was deeply amused because the player was a bit socially awkward, and both of these women were absolutely fucking with him and pushing his buttons.
pics of all four of you

>What do?

I allow myself to be seduced.

>you could steal a newborn and unbirth them inside of your vampire bride

It was a Roll20 game. Vampire and sister were NPCs.

Is she a loli vampire?

Lots of factors here OP. How nice does she act at first, does she make her vampirism known at initially? Because if she just acts like a rather pale friendly human initially, most people wouldn't be terribly suspicious. My character isn't currently taken, so unless her vampirism or sociopathic tendencies were obvious, there'd be little reason to decline.

Of course that answer would change when he discovered how evil she really was, but who knows how late into a relationship that would be. In either case, the party is kind of screwed unless she's a young or weak vampire.

I don't really notice her doing anything or even notice her.
I've got yorkists to kill!

>Is she a loli vampire?
OP said she was beautiful, so no.

Sorry but the problem here is?

>the character I'm playing now
TRIGGERED

The rest of the session is hin trying to kill her and the party trying to stop him because of the collateral damage.

I try my best to keep away, while sending her love letters and notes of encouragement.

I will tease her for it, of course. And proceed to never fall for her advances.

watch her burn

Douse her in holy water.
Stake her.
Douse her in holy water again
Douse her in holy kerosene.
Set her on fire on sunrise.
Spread the ashes.

Guess I'll have to raise the stakes a little

...

>All these people saying they would stake her
FUCK YOU.
FUCK YOU.
FUCK YOOOOOOOOU.
THIS IS WHY NOBODY PLAYS WITH YOU YOU COCKSUCKERS, YOUR FIRST ANSWER TO ANYTHING IS TO MURDE IT YOU FUCKING BACKSTORY-LESS PIECES OF SHIT.
GO DIE.

Except you missed

>not wanting to drive your throbbing stake into her demonic depths and inject purifying holy water to cleanse her of any taint

and you call yourself a vampire hunter?

By definition vampires cannot be beautiful in our setting.

>he mad
Hi, OP.

>GM presents players with an attractive female love interest
>One who is a goddamn vampire at that
You're an idiot if you think any option other than "kill on sight" will end happily.

Try and figure out why she thinks being with my murderhobo butt is the best thing ever. Show interest in her at first just to curb the damage she could inflict if rebuked. Probably acquire vampire wife, as I get pretty lonesome, and it's not alike any other hot women are throwing themselves at me.

Expect the DM to get tired of it an kill her off within two sessions now that it's no longer fun for him.

Assuming all vampires are inherently evil (and considering she would murder anyone near me, she is very much evil) then staking her is pretty much the only option.

Unless, of course, you're trying to go full edgelord.

>not interested in playing gender-swapped Twilight
>WHY DO YOU HATE MY PLOT WAAAAAAAAHHHHHHHHH
fuck off. I didn't put up with being stalked in real life, why would I put up with that shit in a game?

>Vampires are naturally evil, bloodsuckers that can turn people into slaves with a bite.
>Not smiting that bitch with impunity.
Even is she could "resist" for whatever reason, she's still a monster.
If anything, killing it would be a mercy.

>a stalker
>a vampire stalker
>a vampire stalker that wants to turn you into a personification of evil like her
>a vampire stalker that wants to turn you into a personification of evil like her that will actively ruin your life and the life of those around you until you submit
>not killing it on sight
>not actively hunting it down to utterly obliterate the foul taint from the world.

How about no.

...

SMITE AND CLEAVE

>GM gives you a beautiful NPC who pays attention to you
>HERP DERP I KILL HER

Love is not selfish. That vampire certainly is though.

> She'll sabotage any relationships you have or start
> manipulate events and people to get you and her together.
>forcing me to her will

sorry mate, but I'm not into tsundere, I prefer to have normal, sane relationships. Why would I possibly want to interact with such a shitty, petty, vindictive, manipulative bitch? Looking pretty ain't everything in life, and if she's trying to ruin my life, well then hell, I'll ruin hers.

With a wooden stake.

Shit, I'm one of the guys who wouldn't kill her on sight, but you are sperging out way too hard over this.

Keep posting stakings.

>Paying attention to you
>tries to ruin your life if you're not interested.
Plus she's a vampire, and it's said she's sinister. It would be doing the world a favor to get rid of another Bump in the Night.

>A stunningly beautiful vampire follows you and your party through the world, with the intent to make you hers.

I'm play a Solar... Someone didn't think this through at all.

I know people have already said this a million times but...

>An evil monster is trying to ruin your life and enslave you.
>Sane adventurers: I kill it just like every other monster that fucks with my shit.
>You: FUCK YOU Y U DO DIS

I bet you try to argue for the rights of the 1/4 CR kobolds who are raping your cleric to death.

She looks a lot like pic related and I would let that woman do any fucking thing she liked, so her evil schemes would probably go off without a hitch, much like my dick.

I ask her if she has accepted the God-Emperor as her lord and savior.

>be a master of Forces and Space
Time for sunlight bath!

>being this desperate for a magical realm

Depends on the vampire. It's pretty common that they retain the body processes of living beings as long as they've fed on blood, turning more corpselike if they go without feeding.

In that case a female vampire could be impregnated and bear a child, but only if you kept her constantly fed through the pregnancy (because if she doesn't feed regularly and starts turning more dead, the baby would also die).

I psychically bind her to her form, immobilize her in a half dozen ways, rape her, then reveal I'm not only older than her, but ageless and not even human despite my human appearance.

then I decide whether or not I'm going to rewrite her brain and turn her into a halpless thrall or if I'm going to turn her into my personal nemesis for a few hundred years and torment her with my existence as the next fun thing to do.

>a lowly vampire wants to dominate a lich

I wonder if I can grind vampire fangs into glue for my tomes...

The only way how, to counter a crazy annoying bitch who wants muh dick.

Transcend dicks.

Become a skeleton.
>> Can smoke without getting lung cancer
>> Don't have to sleep
>>Finally can do everything with infinite time
>> Can breath underwater
>> Is automatically amazing
>> And can flash that bitch my might pelvis that would have been hers, but as a skeleton
>> I HAVE TRANSCENDED HUMAN FORM

GTFO Bitch.

Of course....if I REALLY wanted to mess with her, I might start a few dozen relationships, arrange to move into church controlled territories, lead her into series of conflicts with other night creatures and monstrosities, force her into revealign herself to others, create groups of minions for her to try and cope with at various times, travel through areas where she has very little prey so that she is forced to try and get closer to me and my companions, arrange for various people to betray my whereabouts and plans and allies to her only to reveal they were all traps or enemies or compromising situations for her....

Being an ancient elan can make one very nasty at heart.

She'll probably burn nicely

This.

>thinking with your dick over your head
Nigga, did you just gloss over the Siege of Troy?
That shit does not end well

OP here, calm down nignog.

>implying smoking doesn't damage bone tissue

I think it wouldn't if you don't have any lungs to absorb the resultant smoke.

Of course, I don't think you'd be able to smoke-proper either, since you can't draw air through the whatever or blow it out. Best you can do is just light a cigarette and let it burn while holding it between your jawbones, if you're a skelly.

That would be sexist.

>Paladin of Lathander, low level

Invite her to join me in observing the dawn, otherwise minimize the harm she can do until I'm in a position to stake her.

>cat shaman/face

Go for it. Probably not going to win the manipulation off, but it's better than outright refusing her.

>Best you can do is just light a cigarette and let it burn while holding it between your jawbones, if you're a skelly.
Good luck doing any of that without muscles and blood to oxygenate them and without lungs to gas exchange that blo-- oh wait.

>All those anons instantly going for kill
Assuming just by her basic actions, she's not a mindless creature. Don't know, talk with her? Maybe she literally confused you with someone else. Sure, bring stake and garlic, but unless it's not your truly personal business, you have no point nor gain in even trying to stake her.
But then again, I'm playing The Witcher old-ass tabletop, where vampires are so absurdly powerful you just want to be nice for them and sort things out without ending up in fight.

Also for all those "kill the bitch" people:
youtube.com/watch?v=m5Ye_dAge-4

Stunningly beautiful
>posts pic in the op

U fucking wot m8

And you know what? I'm actually stealing the OP's idea, since one of the guys in our group rolled "Person" as his Fate during character creation. This could spice things up, given he's playing as Casanova-style bard.

Aha! I finally have a chance to make use of my "densest motherfucker in the goddamn setting" trait that I have written down on my character sheet!

I'm going to unknowingly cockblock her as long as I can. It will probably end with my jugulars being torn out, but it will be worth it.

5/7 would still bang

Good news user, she just dictates to the rest of the family how to make the food. This is what my grandmother does in her old age.

Is it Shinobu Time again?

But... I'm already running this plot for the party Sorcerer, made more awkward that the Vampire is a clone/the original body of the party Rogue who is in a relationship with the Paladin.

To be fair...nothing in the OP's text indicates it wants your blood.
Maybe she just wants to be the one vampire that owns a robot.
Ever think of that?

>What do?

In Warhammer Fantasy, vampires usually get what they want, they're ridiculously powerful.

My Estalian diestro, normally a fearless sort, is put off by the undead. His philosophy on life is to live fully and die gloriously and handsomely, so the idea of persisting after death in some sort of degenerate state is repulsive to him.

I assume he would do his best to stay the hell away from her.